Some information/advice please

Fenian Army

Right, basically there are two Muslim girls involved with a group I'm involved with. (they wear those hijab things) They will chat and talk with the other girls in the group but not with myself or even in front of me, I initially thought they were just very quiet/shy, but they call the other women aside and talk their heads off.

I thought they just didn't like me, but I mentioned it to some of the other lads and they all get blanked too and one guy has stopped coming because of it, he has been made feel alienated from the group because of this ... TBH if they weren't Muslims I would have marked this down as simply bullying and an attempt to isolate and remove individuals/men from the group. Its become very uncomfortable and now that one lad has stopped coming because of this carry on I have to step in and try to tackle this problem... The other women are starting to feel uncomfortable too as they have been put in the middle so to speak. There is a very bad atmosphere.

Could this be a religious thing or are they just being rude?

Does anyone have any advice? I'd like to handle this tactfully and be armed with some information before doing anything...

oceanclub

Is it in a work or academic setting?

P.

Fenian Army

oceanclub wrote: »

Is it in a work or academic setting?

P.

Neither really, its hard to explain without giving away the name and hence the people involved, best described as an interest group which does charity work among other things. Motivation many people have for joining is to meet new people, make new friends and do positive things in the community.

hivizman

I don't think that this is personal. It's a combination of religion and culture. Many Muslims follow the practice of minimising the opportunities for "free-mixing" - men and women who are not related to each other interacting, whether in a social setting or in the workplace. The argument is that free-mixing increases the risk of improper behaviour, as the presence of members of the opposite sex may be a source of temptation. Some Muslim cultures take this to extremes, with women being largely restricted to the home, and allowed out only in the company of a male relative. At social occasions such as weddings, men and women may be in separate rooms. At conferences, men and women may be seated on opposite sides of the auditorium, or women seated in a gallery while men sit on the main floor.

In our society, mixing between the sexes is considered normal, and so it seems odd when women refuse to interact with men in a mixed setting. It's possible that the two Muslim girls being referred to have been brought up in a family and culture where speaking to a man who isn't related, even when there are other females around, is considered inappropriate.

Jaafa

Yes as Hivizman has said there is a culture of minimizing contact with men outside of the family and there is a varying degree of this. However the girls in question seem to be from the more extreme side, any Muslim girls I've met in Ireland have had no problems communicating with me or others.

Frankly while these girls are well within their rights to act as they do, I believe if you wish to live in a western country like Ireland your going to have to accept some compromises in terms of how you act within the society here, and that is coming from fairly conservative Muslim.

Fenian Army

I've met a fair few muslim girls through work, college etc and these two are the only ones who have acted like this.

What do you reckon I should do? I don't think its fair to ask them to leave, but things can't remain the way they are so something has to be done.

oceanclub

Fenian Army wrote: »

I've met a fair few muslim girls through work, college etc and these two are the only ones who have acted like this.

What do you reckon I should do? I don't think its fair to ask them to leave, but things can't remain the way they are so something has to be done.

Perhaps it's best to ask - what would you do in a case where there were 2 cliquish people in a group acting this way? It might help to exclude the whole religion thing.

P.

Fenian Army

oceanclub wrote: »

Perhaps it's best to ask - what would you do in a case where there were 2 cliquish people in a group acting this way? It might help to exclude the whole religion thing.

P.

I'd tell them to cop the fcuk on or leave.

If it is a religious thing I have to be careful because I don't want to make them feel that they are being excluded because of religious beliefs

Jaafa

Fenian Army wrote: »

I'd tell them to cop the fcuk on or leave.

If it is a religious thing I have to be careful because I don't want to make them feel that they are being excluded because of religious beliefs

Perhaps ask one of the other girls in the group to pass on your concerns. Highlighting the fact that it would make things much easier if the two girls would be willing to engage on some basic level with the males in the group.

jtsuited

Fenian Army wrote: »

I'd tell them to cop the fcuk on or leave.

If it is a religious thing I have to be careful because I don't want to make them feel that they are being excluded because of religious beliefs

why?