Couples out for a meal both staring off into the distance

Rabidlamb

Went for a savage night out to one of these Tapas places a few weeks back with the missus & another couple.
Couldn't get over the amount of older couples who just sit there silent with the 1,000 yard stares.
I don't get it personally how you could spend a night out with someone & not even engage in conversation.
I imagine there many couples going through the motions for the sake of the kids but when it comes to that you might as well throw in the towel.

Ruralyoke

It's really common.

And really sad.

kfallon

Often happens in the pub too, both sit on the inside of the couch/booth and just stare off into space. Only words muttered are, "Do you want another drink!"

Could never understand it at all tbh!

FatherLen

maybe they were deaf. so inconsiderate.

Basq

There's two schools of thought on this..

1. Sad that they won't engage with each other.. obviously can't tolerate each other.
2. They're comfortable enough after so long to simply be in each other's company.

Probably the most serious thing I've written in AH in years.

Ah.. to hell with it..

Tits, yore ma, blast with piss etc.

FatherLen

Basq wrote: »

yore ma, blast with piss

oooh you're bold.

bold

shopaholic01

After a couple of years you run out of things to say to each other. I don't really think we're meant to spend the rest of our life with one person.

smash

She might have been staring into the distance, but I'm betting he was using his peripheral vision to check out the waitress.

OldGoat

Blessed silence, sure 'tis lovely.

omgitsthelazor

If you've been married for many years you don't have an inexhaustible stock of things to talk about. Theres nothing sad about saying nothing, it shows they're comfortable with each other that they don't have to invent small talk to stop things getting awkward.

The ones gabbing away about the weather for the sake of something to talk about are the ones with insecurity and real problems.

corktina

a comfortable silence between old friends who don't need chit-chat for the sake of it.

Rabidlamb

shopaholic01 wrote: »

After a couple of years you run out of things to say to each other. I don't really think we're meant to spend the rest of our life with one person.

Different strokes & all that, my missus never shuts up, I'd be really worried if she wasn't doing my head in.

Jess16

It's often only the people that you truly love that you can sit with in comfortable silence and still feel connected

Ruralyoke

Maybe they both had those mini sex aid things attached that each person randomly remotely activates and they were sitting there having stony faced silently shuddering orgasms all night?

jester77

It's always the quiet ones!

They are probably just having a few drinks to build up the courage for a mad night of debauchery.

the groutch

Basq wrote: »

There's two schools of thought on this..

1. Sad that they won't engage with each other.. obviously can't tolerate each other.
2. They're comfortable enough after so long to simply be in each other's company.

Probably the most serious thing I've written in AH in years.

Ah.. to hell with it..

Tits, yore ma, blast with piss etc.

Reported

Nothingbetter2d

shopaholic01 wrote: »

After a couple of years you run out of things to say to each other. I don't really think we're meant to spend the rest of our life with one person.

you like threesomes?

UnknownSpecies

I hate when people try to make pointless small talk for the sake of it. I quite enjoy just sitting and being in other people's company without the need for small talk.

Thats why they invented mobile phones, so you can look down and pretend to text when you're feeling uncomfortable.

Duggys Housemate

While I can do comfortable silences at home, its best to talk when out don't you think? Keep some stories for the night out, something at work which happened. Otherwise it would seem to be excruciating.

Funglegunk

They were probably re-enacting a scene from Pulp Fiction.

xflyer

If they were uncomfortable with each other, why go out at all? For most older couples it is a comfortable silence.

My wife is fairly quiet so when I run out of small talk it ends up like that. Then we go home and tell each other what a nice time we had and it's true.

Out Of The Night

This things drives me mad. So what if a couple wants to sit and not speak? Just because they are not staring into each other's eyes and fawning over each other does not mean there is a problem. I was in a relationship for nearly 4 years and we were very comfortable to just be.

ejmaztec

Couples who've been at each other's throats deeply in love with each other for a long time don't need to speak, because they can read each other's minds.

hooradiation

Rabidlamb wrote: »

Went for a savage night out to one of these Tapas places a few weeks back with the missus & another couple.
Couldn't get over the amount of older couples who just sit there silent with the 1,000 yard stares.
I don't get it personally how you could spend a night out with someone & not even engage in conversation.
I imagine there many couples going through the motions for the sake of the kids but when it comes to that you might as well throw in the towel.

So instead of engaging in conversation with your missus you were spending the night eyeballing up everyone else in the place to see if they're having the same level of discourse that you were enjoying......

right.

rgmmg

They were probably at each other under the table.

SEPT 23 1989

Maybe they are enjoying the sound of silence away from the children

judgefudge

My ex used to do this. He thought of him self as a 'people-watcher' which was really just code for being a nosy fook. Whenever we went out, just the two of us, he would sit there staring at everyone and everything. Conversation was nil. Ridiculously boring

liamhana

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

Maybe they are enjoying the sound of silence away from the children

Indeed...oh for a quiet dinner table

McTigs

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

Maybe they are enjoying the sound of silence away from the children

This

Kids are great but when you are out without them, like for a meal or something, sometimes it's enough to just sit and enjoy the bliss.... to start conversation that may inevitablely come round to being about the kids would spoil the bliss.

The King of Moo

"Darling, he's staring again. That rabid-looking fellow, he's just staring over here!"

"He's probably eavesdropping. Let's just not speak and look away from each other, and hopefully he'll lose interest."

donegal_road

maybe they were all very stoned

seamus

shopaholic01 wrote: »

After a couple of years you run out of things to say to each other.

Nonsense. Unless you live in a bubble, there's always stuff going on, always something to discuss.

As said above, there's nothing wrong with a comfortable silence. I've seen couples sit there and say nothing to eachother for hours, which is a bit odd. I'd be bored.
But just sitting and enjoying the silence and peace - especially over dinner - as said above is probably a rare joy for many parents.

AnonoBoy

Sometimes there's just nothing to talk about.

I used to think that it was really sad when I was younger, "Are we one of the dining dead?" as Jim Carrey said in that film where he's running around inside his own noggin the whole time but then I got older and I realised that you don't have to be yammering away at someone the whole time to enjoy being in their company. It can be nice just to sit with someone you like and slowly get very very drunk and not say anything at all until the way home when you have an explosive row over a glance that was misinterpreted about 2 hours earlier.

You thought it was comfortable silence but in your partner's mind you were having a row.

F*ck knows how you're supposed to tell the difference.

padma

Love does not consist in gazing at each others eyes, but in looking outward together in the same direction. or sthg like that

themadchef

padma wrote: »

Love does not consist in gazing at each others eyes, but in looking outward together in the same direction. or sthg like that

Settle for not feeling the need to lace his dinner with rat poison and head to Vegas with the insurance money.........

:eek:



Ohhhh kay then..

Prolly a good thing we divorced, for him loike :pac:.

Ruralyoke

seamus wrote: »

As said above, there's nothing wrong with a comfortable silence. I've seen couples sit there and say nothing to eachother for hours, which is a bit odd.

When it's for ages, I think it's more than odd.

When people are glazed over like that their minds are on something else - and it's hardly each other.

bronte

I was on holiday with my mum a few years ago.
Several times when we'd be out for dinner at night we'd see this couple who honestly looked like they'd been told someone had died.
Maybe they had.
I never saw them say a single word to each other once.
Often wonder what the feck was going on with those two.
Comfortable silence is one thing but I hope that wasn't the norm for them.

Pottler

dorgasm wrote: »

I hate when people try to make pointless small talk for the sake of it. I quite enjoy just sitting and being in other people's company without the need for small talk.

Brings Father Stone to mind. Jasus, its that dorgasm at the door Hilda-hide under the table, quick.:D Personally, I hate silence and am a noisy, loud sort-the missus is far quieter but on a night out, just sitting there, not yapping??? Jasus..theres cemeteries for that

pc7

I'd rather see couples staring off into the distance than the ones you see who aren't talking but are both on their phones, either texting or on facebook posting 'what a super time they are having' when it can't be that super cause they are on Facebook!

af_thefragile

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQqCmvLLcGQ

MagicSean

Where they texting each other? Maybe using Facebook on their Iphones? Or maybe they were uncomfortable with the drunk man staring at them.

stovelid

Just because youse not rabbiting in someone's ear all night doesn't mean youse not comfortable in their company. There's something nice about companionable silence when you've had a busy, noisy week but obviously it shouldn't be always the norm.

Plus maybe they're too busy to talk to each other because they're watching other people so they can start threads about it.

DebDynamite

Completely agree about not having to make constant converstation when you're comfortable in each others company but you do see some couples who really have no interation with each other, and just look like they're having the most miserable night.

I've been with the other half 8 years so we don't need constant chit-chat, but if we're out for a meal, even if we'd have absolutley nothing to talk about, we'd always talk about what each other's food tastes like or make a joke about something.

SafeSurfer

After years of marriage what is the point in conversation. Maybe out of civility or just to be polite. Most of the time you will know what the other half is going to say and 100% of the time you know what the other half's reaction will be to anything you might say.

So stony silences in restaurants give everyone a chance to fantasise about the lives they would like to be living while enjoying some nice food.

Banjaxed82

shopaholic01 wrote: »

After a couple of years you run out of things to say to each other.

As mentioned, that's b*llocks.


This guy explains it best. He's obviously talking about storytelling, but it's still relative.... There's something seriously wrong with you if you can't think of anything to talk about.

Eve_Dublin

I'd presume couples who are miserable in each other's company wouldn't go out for dinner. I can imagine it must be nice to get to the stage where you can sit and enjoy each other's company without fear of awkward silences. I talked some amount of ****e with one ex to avoid that happening. From the outside we might have seemed happy as were chatting away but I was scraping the barrel big style...talking about any auld ****e just so the fact that we'd nothing in common wouldn't become so glaringly obvious.