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Starting a Separation

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  • 24-05-2012 2:22pm
    #1
    RHEL
    Registered Users Posts: 1 ✭


    I'm in a similar boat to cgh and its really getting me down, I've tried to convince my wife to take part in counciling but with no luck. I have an extremely unhappy home at this time, our friendship is slowing disappearing but alas my wife seems not to concerned. I've tried having the conversation relating to "this is not good for the kids" (we have 4) and we need to work harder on it. The usual response is...its all my fault. I must admit I'm at the stage where I think it would be best for me (and indeed my kids) if I wasn't there. At least the kids would not be stuck in the middle of the tension between my wife and I :(

    Anyhow, I'm trying to get myself organised for what I see as the inevitable breakup and want to get ahead of financial agreements. The house is in my wife's name however the mortgage is in both names. I pay all bills including mortgage, house upkeep, kids expenses etc, my wife earns a reasonable salary but none of it is contributed back into the family.

    There is no way I can continue to pay for everything and move out but every now and then my wife threatens me with taking everything and forcing me to maintain their lifestyle. From my perspective I'm thinking I could cover all costs for kids + some cash for bills but I couldn't maintain the mortgage also, my wifes salary could easily cover this and leave her with enough to cover personal expenses. I don't want the house and would be happy for it to stay with my wife and kids

    For those of you who have been through this, does this seem reasonable or should I expect to fund more?

    thks


Comments

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    #2
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    Hey there RHEL, so posters know it's a new poster wanting advice and so you can get advice relevant to you - I've given you your own thread.

    All the best. :cool:


  • Options
    #3
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    RHEL wrote: »
    For those of you who have been through this, does this seem reasonable or should I expect to fund more?

    You should expect to be able to fund your own lifestyle at the same time as supporting your children. I would not hand the house over to her but come to a joint agreement on paying the mortgage and when the kids are old enough to move out then the house gets sold and funds split 50/50 between you and your wife.

    If your wife has a reasonable salary then she should be able to support herself if you are supporting your children.


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    #4
    angle82
    Registered Users Posts: 8 ✭angle82


    It is such a difficult time for both of you i'm sure but alas your main concern is to look after yourself so you will be a good dad to your children, if yourself and your wife come to an agreement for maintenaise money for you children,calculate their average cost a week and what can you afford to give them. you cannot be expected to pay for her lifestyle stay strong and do whats best for you and your children.


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