what should my port of call be with this: garda or solicitor or both?

town.mouse

A relationship I had turned sour in that he messed completely with my head where I was left in the loop with a pack of lies.

Unfortunately, it played of my mind trying to figure it out and I fell into a downwards spiral expressing my hurt and frustrations back at him with messages, emails and calls of an insulting nature. It would have been on and off through out a four month period and would have been obsessive. First started when I tried to get some sort of an answer out from him but he didn't care.

I never intended to do that and I didn't set out to do it and it's something I deeply regret. All stopped for 5 weeks. 4 weeks ago he rang and left a message to tell me to stop and that he was speaking to a garda that is local to me and that he will take it further.

What should my port of call be with this?
Should I visit the garda and speak to him and reassure the garda that it's stopped and there won't be anything from me again.

Or should I visit a solicitor?

Or both?

Or nothing?

How would something like this pan out if it goes further?

Pottler

Port of call? Psychiatrist, or a new man. Either would probably be good. If you knock off the stalking bit, the Gards will probably lose interest quite fast, thats a first. A second would be moving on with your life and finding someone worthwhile to obsess about, preferably not a sleaze who lies to you- pick someone nice, be good to yourself.:)

town.mouse

Pottler wrote: »

Port of call? Psychiatrist, or a new man. Either would probably be good. If you knock off the stalking bit, the Gards will probably lose interest quite fast, thats a first. A second would be moving on with your life and finding someone worthwhile to obsess about, preferably not a sleaze who lies to you- pick someone nice, be good to yourself.:)

Counselling will be on the cards for me because I wasn't in a good place at all, very down in myself trying to figure out the crap he left for me.
All that crap from me to him has stopped.

Zambia

Cease all contact move on

town.mouse

Zambia wrote: »

Cease all contact move on

Contact has very much stopped and never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never again.

I have moved on but I'm very anxious now about this and if it goes further.

Zambia

Nothing you can do about the past. If you are charged see a solicitor. Otherwise move on like you are.

town.mouse

Zambia wrote: »

Nothing you can do about the past. If you are charged see a solicitor. Otherwise move on like you are.

How will I know if he goes ahead and I will get charged? Would a garda contact me for a statement and then send a summons or somethings or would a summons straight to court be sent straight through my door? (hearing the postman and watching the mail is giving me the sh1ts, for the past month).

I don't get it, 4 weeks ago when he rang he said he was speaking to a superindendent rather than a garda about it and that if it doesn't stop he will take further. Would it not have been the job of the S/I to phone me with that warning?

tayto lover

town.mouse wrote: »

How will I know if he goes ahead and I will get charged? Would a garda contact me for a statement and then send a summons or somethings or would a summons straight to court be sent straight through my door? (hearing the postman and watching the mail is giving me the sh1ts, for the past month).

I don't get it, 4 weeks ago when he rang he said he was speaking to a superindendent rather than a garda about it and that if it doesn't stop he will take further. Would it not have been the job of the S/I to phone me with that warning?

Don't worry at all. Just forget him and the incidents. The Gardai will let it drop too because to prosecute anyone would only allow the problem to continue and might make it worse. If a Garda does call to see you just explain your case apologise and that will be the end of it i'm sure. Your ex might have been bluffing about going to the Garda anyway. Good luck and don't worry you will find someone nicer who will be good to you.

town.mouse

tayto lover wrote: »

Don't worry at all. Just forget him and the incidents. The Gardai will let it drop too because to prosecute anyone would only allow the problem to continue and might make it worse. If a Garda does call to see you just explain your case apologise and that will be the end of it i'm sure. Your ex might have been bluffing about going to the Garda anyway. Good luck and don't worry you will find someone nicer who will be good to you.

God, I hope you are correct. I've learned such a lesson in all this.

Zambia

town.mouse wrote: »

I don't get it, 4 weeks ago when he rang he said he was speaking to a superindendent rather than a garda about it and that if it doesn't stop he will take further. Would it not have been the job of the S/I to phone me with that warning?

See that sounds like BS was the super manning the desk in the station?

Has that how bad the Garda cutbacks have got?

Seriously put it behind you if a Garda intends to charge you they will be in touch.

town.mouse

Zambia wrote: »

See that sounds like BS was the super manning the desk in the station?

Has that how bad the Garda cutbacks have got?

Seriously put it behind you if a Garda intends to charge you they will be in touch.

That is what I was thinking. He went to the highest rank in my locality with this. Not only that but I don't think that the S/I that he was speaking to is even based in my local barracks but is based in town. Unless if the S/I was out in my local barracks doing other things when/if he rang. And then what was he doing phoning my local barracks and not going in, in person to his own barracks.

Would it be safe to ease up about this that's hanging over me and enjoy life a bit instead of worrying?

kermit_the_dog

town.mouse wrote: »

How will I know if he goes ahead and I will get charged? Would a garda contact me for a statement and then send a summons or somethings or would a summons straight to court be sent straight through my door? (hearing the postman and watching the mail is giving me the sh1ts, for the past month).

I don't get it, 4 weeks ago when he rang he said he was speaking to a superindendent rather than a garda about it and that if it doesn't stop he will take further. Would it not have been the job of the S/I to phone me with that warning?

you havent even heard from a guard at this stage , even you had , i would not apporach the guards with any kind of defense for your actions ,the guards are not on your side or your ex,S , they just enforce the law , i seriously doubt the guards would bring any kind o case for something like this , its not like violence was involved , women are treated more leniently in circumstances like this so i cant see anything happening , if the guards contact you , say nothing , they might only talk to you , dont start rationalising to them , they do what they are going to regardless , no need to talk to a solicitor until you are either arrested or charged

in the unlikely event you are arrested or asked to make a statement , do not say a word to the guards ,they are not your friends , if they ask you to make a statement , consult a solicitor first

town.mouse

kermit_the_dog wrote: »

you havent even heard from a guard at this stage , even you had , i would not apporach the guards with any kind of defense for your actions ,the guards are not on your side or your ex,S , they just enforce the law , i seriously doubt the guards would bring any kind o case for something like this , its not like violence was involved , women are treated more leniently in circumstances like this so i cant see anything happening , if the guards contact you , say nothing , they might only talk to you , dont start rationalising to them , they do what they are going to regardless , no need to talk to a solicitor until you are either arrested or charged

in the unlikely event you are arrested or asked to make a statement , do not say a word to the guards ,they are not your friends , if they ask you to make a statement , consult a solicitor first

What I did would be considered harassment, would it not? Although no violence, there is a law for harassment.

Victor

kermit_the_dog wrote: »

i would not apporach the guards with any kind of defense for your actions

Agreed. Leave sleeping dogs lie.

If a garda approaches you fair enough, then get a solicitor.

In the meantime, concentrate on the counselling and moving on.

kermit_the_dog

town.mouse wrote: »

What I did would be considered harassment, would it not? Although no violence, there is a law for harassment.

what you consider it to be is unimportant and i would not under any circumstances tell a guard that you think its harrassment , that would be an admission of guilt , if guards approach you , tell them nothing , they might just want a chat , doesnt mean they want to take it further , if they ask you to make a statement , consult a solicitor first , the solicitor can prepare a statement for you , bottom line , leave it to others to make the first move