How much did you spend on "The Ring"?

0ph0rce0

Xidu wrote: »

Me n my husband chose diamond together after we were engaged. It was ab €3.5k 5years ago. But he upgraded a €6k diamond for me 1 year ago as a surprise as he got a big bonus that year. I think it was because I occasionly half joke about my diamond is small. Some women like big diamond, some thinks it's just a stone.

When your husband ordered you, did he get you delivered in by air? or sea?

Generic Dreadhead

I didn't have a ring, just made a circle with my fingers. Got a ring 2 weeks later. She got it resized in the jewellers and refused to ask how much it was valued at.... The more Vain the woman, the more they care....

here's the special moment

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SoRDnW7G2QI

MugMugs

I was bordering engagement about five years ago.

The girl that I was intending to wed had a very serious conversation with me about the whole thing and what would be expected, kids etc etc....

Everything was going well until she dropped an unreal bombshell on me.

"The ring better cost no less than 10k"

That my friends is when I knew that she wasn't for me. She knew my situation at the time and was quite happy to see me go into serious debt to service her desire for her dream "rock"

I moved on soon after and some other mug (pun intended) fell for her and I can only presume, bought that 10k ring.

The Corinthian wrote: »

Even after she divorces you..?

Then you get the ring back and can sell it on

Generic Dreadhead

MugMugs wrote: »

I was bordering engagement about five years ago.

The girl that I was intending to wed had a very serious conversation with me about the whole thing and what would be expected, kids etc etc....

Everything was going well until she dropped an unreal bombshell on me.

"The ring better cost no less than 10k"

That my friends is when I knew that she wasn't for me. She knew my situation at the time and was quite happy to see me go into serious debt to service her desire for her dream "rock"

I moved on soon after and some other mug (pun intended) fell for her and I can only presume, bought that 10k ring.



Then you get the ring back and can sell it on

I can't believe her gaul.... wonder if i went down like 2K everytime she had that convo with a new guy.... until she went through a bunch of smart lads and eventually one guy forked out €2000

Pawwed Rig

I half dated a girl for a while until she came out with this one
'I know how much my future husband will love me by the amount he spends on my engagement ring'.

quick exit was made - I should have known by the D&G handbag which I assumed was fake. Nearly dropped when she told me she spent €700 on the thing

Whippersnapper

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

I half dated a girl for a while until she came out with this one
'I know how much my future husband will love me by the amount he spends on my engagement ring'.

quick exit was made - I should have known by the D&G handbag which I assumed was fake. Nearly dropped when she told me she spent €700 on the thing

How do you half-date someone?

Pawwed Rig

Whippersnapper wrote: »

How do you half-date someone?

She thought we were 'just friends';)

The Corinthian

MugMugs wrote: »

"The ring better cost no less than 10k"

The first thought that comes to mind is what age was she? 15?

The second is that to a degree such expectations are not a bad barometer of the person your with; expecting an expensive engagement ring displays a frightening level of entitlement and materialism in someone, which doesn't dispensary once you buy the ring in question, but will become a theme in your future life together.

Ever wonder about all those wives who divorce their husbands once they fall on bad financial times? I suspect they all have big rocks on their hands - and clearly small ones in them.

I'm glad to say that such women are a small minority, at least in Ireland, in my experience.

Then you get the ring back and can sell it on

'Fraid not. Even if your fiancée leaves you at the altar, there's no guarantee you'll get it back and if she refuses to you'd have to take her to court over it. In the case of divorce, I doubt you'd have any chance at all of recouping it.

Even if you did, the resale value of such rings is a fraction of their retail cost, so you'd see little of your investment back.

My mother's engagement ring is a small and almost you wouldn't notice it, set with a small precious carved stone, depicting a mythological creature of some description. Having said that, the stone is Etruscan, very rare and still probably worth a lot more than most of these icebergs.

Something like that makes a lot more sense to me.

MugMugs

The Corinthian wrote: »

The first thought that comes to mind is what age was she? 15?

The second is that to a degree such expectations are not a bad barometer of the person your with; expecting an expensive engagement ring displays a frightening level of entitlement and materialism in someone, which doesn't dispensary once you buy the ring in question, but will become a theme in your future life together.

Ever wonder about all those wives who divorce their husbands once they fall on bad financial times? I suspect they all have big rocks on their hands - and clearly small ones in them.

I'm glad to say that such women are a small minority, at least in Ireland, in my experience.

15, No that would be illegal

I agree, they are a minority in my experience too.

My current partner is the least materialistic person I've ever met in my life. It was a very pleasant surprise to be honest.

I've never gauged "The Ring" with her but knowing her well enough, i could pretty much hand on my heart say that she'd be annoyed if it cost big money.

Not wanting to resort to cliches, it's all about meaning if you ask me.

Panthro

0ph0rce0 wrote: »

When your husband ordered you, did he get you delivered in by air? or sea?

Mod:
Warned for personal abuse.
Attack the post, not the poster from here on in.
Cheers.

FreshKnickers

Bit of a story here so, fair warning!

Back when 'the missus' was 'the misses to be' I didn't have a ring at all for her. Now, I was planning to get one but I couldn't wait any longer and out popped the question. We went the next weekend to get her something to wear in the meanwhile and she was happy with that, meant she could have a think about what she wanted as a permanent finger decoration.

At some point she lost the cheapo ring anyway.

A good while later someone we knew arranged to tie the knot and off to the Internet she goes to look for a gift for them. They never got us a gift now when we got engaged but herself isn't like that so there was she present-browsing when she spies a sparkler. She drags me over to the computer. "That's my ring!" she tells me "Waddya think, can we get it?"

Now, fine by me but I'd been actually started looking myself and I'd seen one too. It was well more than twice the cost of the ring she had her eye on so I showed her and asked if she wouldn't prefer the more expensive one. Nope, she wanted her one and it's sitting on her finger right at this very minute.

Call me a sentimental aul bazterd but I do think it's a bit cute that she'd found her ring when looking for a present for someone else.

Absoluvely

FreshKnickers wrote: »

Call me a sentimental aul bazterd but I do think it's a bit cute that she'd found her ring when looking for a present for someone else.

But Panthro says we're not allowed call you a sentimental aul bazterd

FreshKnickers

Grand, if it's not allowed then call me a mushy aul bazterd instead.

Cookie_Monster

shortie_chik wrote: »

Believe me, people working in the gem industry know what they're handling and they know its market value better than anyone else! Where did you get the ring valued? (Just out of semi-professional curiosity! )

Valued somewhere in Wellington in New Zealand - I don't know exactly. We had it in a place in New Plymouth where we live but the guy wasn't sure if they were real or not so recommended we send it down to a gemoligist to get them checked and valued.

shortie_chik wrote: »

Also your girlfriend made diamonds? Like synthetics in a lab? In Ireland? I've studied gemmology & would love to know more!

Industrial Diamonds in the factory just of the M50/M1 intersection in Dublin, Diamond Innovations. Been there 30 odd years but closed down this summer and relocated to thier US plant.
3 story high presses used to make them, no bigger than a grain of sand. Used for oil drilling bits for the most part. 30 cents a carrot. They also used to do a bit of natural diamond treatment, washing colours out - don't ask me how.

Neyite

I recently got engaged.

He thought that you needed to spend months of salary on the ring, until I explained that was all DeBeers marketing crap. And that I would have gotten seriously annoyed if he had spent that much , dragging him back for a refund and a cheaper ring - a lovely holiday would have meant far more to me than a big rock.

But I happened to spot my dream ring in the window of a jewellers. It cost the same as a months rent for us, and the size is perfect for my hand. It was paid for out of our joint savings, that we both contribute to. I wouldn't have wanted any more spent on it.

I tried to insist that he choose an engagement gift of similar value, but he is not really bothered.

Mousewar

I'm a big believer in the guy picking the ring. The whole idea is that he's asking her to marry him and offering a ring as a symbol of his love or his promise or whatever. If she picks it, well she's just picking a nice piece of jewelry to wear. That's nice and all but doesn't really do it for me. I had the basic sense of what herself wanted in terms of style and went out and bought it myself. She liked it anyway.
People are different and all but that's how I view it.

MugMugs

Neyite wrote: »

It was paid for out of our joint savings, that we both contribute to. I wouldn't have wanted any more spent on it.

That would actually bug me.

I'm a stickler for tradition and frankly, I'd like to pay for the whole thing myself and gift it.

Neyite

Mousewar wrote: »

I'm a big believer in the guy picking the ring. The whole idea is that he's asking her to marry him and offering a ring as a symbol of his love or his promise or whatever. If she picks it, well she's just picking a nice piece of jewelry to wear. That's nice and all but doesn't really do it for me. I had the basic sense of what herself wanted in terms of style and went out and bought it myself. She liked it anyway.
People are different and all but that's how I view it.

He would have picked something that was several times the value of the one I loved. I would love it because he picked it and would wear it, but it just happens that I spotted on that was so unusual and "me" that we went with that.

MugMugs wrote: »

That would actually bug me.

I'm a stickler for tradition and frankly, I'd like to pay for the whole thing myself and gift it.

We've been together nearly a decade. For nearly all of that time, our income has been pooled. So whats in my account is equally his and vice versa. Even if it came from his wages, we are still "both" paying for it.

I'm far from traditional, and hate it when I'm told I "have" to do XYZ because its tradition. My partner is the same, so he was fine with it. Thats all that matters in the end isnt it? that as a couple, a unit, you do what makes you both happy?

But I don't need to be whisked off to Paris by him with a couple of carats in his pocket to know that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I knew that when he came to every single appointment with me in the fertility clinic, and sat holding my hand. Who hugged me when I was upset for all of the months that came and went and still no baby. Who wanted to wrap me up in cotton wool when I finally got pregnant. And when he came to every single ante-natal appointment and did the same.

At this stage after so many years and finally a family of our own, other moments have taken precedence as major "couple" memories - like the birth of our baby. That day we gave each other something more precious to us than any jewel in the world. Engagement for us at this stage is more of a practical, if nicely romantic experience. An engagement ring is a token of the wonderful life you are about to embark on together, but we were doing that for years anyway.

The Corinthian

MugMugs wrote: »

I'm a stickler for tradition and frankly, I'd like to pay for the whole thing myself and gift it.

Sleepy

Poor image choice TC, the San Fermin Bull Run was possibly the best stupid thing I've ever done!

MugMugs

Neyite wrote: »

I'm far from traditional, and hate it when I'm told I "have" to do XYZ because its tradition. My partner is the same, so he was fine with it. Thats all that matters in the end isnt it? that as a couple, a unit, you do what makes you both happy?

But I don't need to be whisked off to Paris by him with a couple of carats in his pocket to know that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I knew that when he came to every single appointment with me in the fertility clinic, and sat holding my hand. Who hugged me when I was upset for all of the months that came and went and still no baby. Who wanted to wrap me up in cotton wool when I finally got pregnant. And when he came to every single ante-natal appointment and did the same.

At this stage after so many years and finally a family of our own, other moments have taken precedence as major "couple" memories - like the birth of our baby. That day we gave each other something more precious to us than any jewel in the world. Engagement for us at this stage is more of a practical, if nicely romantic experience. An engagement ring is a token of the wonderful life you are about to embark on together, but we were doing that for years anyway.

Beautifully put.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Mousewar wrote: »

I'm a big believer in the guy picking the ring. The whole idea is that he's asking her to marry him and offering a ring as a symbol of his love or his promise or whatever. If she picks it, well she's just picking a nice piece of jewelry to wear. That's nice and all but doesn't really do it for me. I had the basic sense of what herself wanted in terms of style and went out and bought it myself. She liked it anyway.
People are different and all but that's how I view it.

Completely agree with this. If I was the ring type, I'd love him to choose it than have me choose it, the same with gifts at birthdays or Xmas, it means more when they put the thought into it.

The_Conductor

I had my wife's ring made. My father bought me some tanzanite, to which I added two matched cut blue diamonds and mounted them on a simple bar of white gold with a platinum band. The stones cost me about 2k at the time- getting the ring made and the materials- another 1k. Byrne's on South Anne Street- made the ring for me- and we went back in due course and choose our wedding rings from them.

The cost- was really all I could afford at the time- but the effort and time I put into sourcing the stones and organising its manufacture- was priceless.

--Kaiser--

MugMugs wrote: »

I was bordering engagement about five years ago.

The girl that I was intending to wed had a very serious conversation with me about the whole thing and what would be expected, kids etc etc....

Everything was going well until she dropped an unreal bombshell on me.

"The ring better cost no less than 10k"

Man, if a girl said that to me I'd still be laughing

Sleepy

I'd still be telling the story of how I once vomited on someone tbh.

pwurple

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

Man, if a girl said that to me I'd still be laughing

Meh, that girl ran with a different circle of people maybe. I know a handful of people with engagement rings which certainly look like they cost a few multiples of that.

Mine is nowhere near that, but we're average joe soaps, not hot shots.

It mightn't be within your reach, but there are people out there on big money.

That girl obviously wanted a certain lifestyle, and wanted to marry someone who would provide it. Clear enough indicator given by her idea of normal ring value, and very good to be made aware of it before a marriage showed up a big gap between reality and perception!

Henry9

MugMugs wrote: »

I'm a stickler for tradition and frankly, I'd like to pay for the whole thing myself and gift it.

So you didn't have sex before marriage then?

Henry9

PucaMama wrote: »

Domestic abuse was never an acceptable part of marriage and I really dont like someone trying to take from the positives of marriage by suggesting it is.

The crime of marital rape has only existed in the UK since around the mid eighties, before then it wasn't even recognised as an offence.
In Ireland the situation was probably similar.

MugMugs

Henry9 wrote: »

So you didn't have sex before marriage then?

I'm not married and I said stickler for tradition, not a fool

Milly33

The_Conductor wrote: »

I had my wife's ring made. My father bought me some tanzanite, to which I added two matched cut blue diamonds and mounted them on a simple bar of white gold with a platinum band. The stones cost me about 2k at the time- getting the ring made and the materials- another 1k. Byrne's on South Anne Street- made the ring for me- and we went back in due course and choose our wedding rings from them.

The cost- was really all I could afford at the time- but the effort and time I put into sourcing the stones and organising its manufacture- was priceless.

Tis mad money for jewels but this would defo be the way to do it if you were to do it.. you took the time to look and choose something that made you think of her or reminded you or ye together you know where I am going nicely done bet she loved it

The Corinthian

Henry9 wrote: »

The crime of marital rape has only existed in the UK since around the mid eighties, before then it wasn't even recognised as an offence.
In Ireland the situation was probably similar.

Marital rape was finally recognised and legislated for in the early nineties in Ireland.

I actually remember, around that time, hearing of one of the last legal cases involving marital rape, a few years earlier. It involved an estranged husband and wife, where the husband raped his wife, essentially forcing her into having anal sex with him.

The judge was unable to act on the rape as no crime had been committed, however he convicted the man on the still existing sodomy laws (the same ones that put Oscar Wilde in prison), that made anal sex illegal.

I think it was also the last conviction under those sodomy laws, as they were finally abolished in the early nineties too.

D'Agger

Back to the original topic at hand please folks, the OP wasn't looking for a conversation on marital law

josip

I know this is an old thread but I couldn't believe that this "gem" in the middle went unquoted, unthanked. Shotgun.

Woowoowoowoo wrote: »

I spent zero on mine, my mother in law gave me her grandmother's to propose with.

And to keep it on topic, I cashed in my life savings to buy the ring.
In monetary terms it was probably a bit less than most of my friends.
But it was all my Post Office Savings Cert, all my Credit Union money, all the 10 pounds my grandfather had given me for my birthdays, my Communion money, and my Confirmation money.
And it felt great and meant something.

OldRio

Well in all honesty. £20 in 1985. From a pawn shop. We didn't have much money and its a ring at the end of the day. No more or less. Much more important things to do with your cash at that time of your life.

We have been married for nearly 30 years. Still in love and, before anyone says I'm a skinflint. Herself was given a Rolex watch for her fiftieth birthday.

Gloomtastic!

OldRio wrote: »

Well in all honesty. £20 in 1985. From a pawn shop. We didn't have much money and its a ring at the end of the day. No more or less. Much more important things to do with your cash at that time of your life.

We have been married for nearly 30 years. Still in love and, before anyone says I'm a skinflint. Herself was given a Rolex watch for her fiftieth birthday.

From a pawn shop again?

bluemagpie

I reckon go for the ring she pointed out if you are willing to spend that much. Personally I wouldn't have a clue how much a ring cost on looking at it, and antique rings look great as well as being more affordable.

But if you are going for the '3 months' thing at the very least take it as after tax, I don't think anyone should be going into debt in order to purchase an engagement ring, surely the sentiment wins out over the piece of natural or man-made rock on your finger. But I'd rather a cheap ring, skip the big wedding and have an awesome holiday, different strokes and all that!

Kevin the Kid

I'm thinking of taking the plunge and getting a ring before this xmas but I'm not sure where to start. 3 months sounds like a bit much. I've been looking in a few shop windows and 2k to 4k seems to be around the price of nice looking rings. Diamond rings I mean. I don't know many people who have rings worth 8k or over by looking at the size in the windows. They're huge!

nc19

Unreg Bart wrote: »

I've reached the point where I want to go ring shopping, - again ;-) and am wondering what a suitable amount to spend is these days. I was married previously almost ten years ago, and at the time herself of the time indicated that nothing less than 5k would be acceptable,(I should have ran at that point) so that's what I spent.

Now in drastically reduced financial circumstances, but still working - just, I want to start again with the woman of my dreams, whom I thought for many years didn't even exist. We are totally on the same page, and happier than either of us ever has been.
I have noted which styles she likes, and today saw a ring for 2k which I think I can pay for by the end of this year.

So my question is, - is this enough? What did you guys spend?
My after tax is about 30k, but I have a big mortgage and some debt.
She earns 33 gross, and most of her friends would be in the same bracket.
She does however know a little about diamonds, so she'll be able to roughly guess the value of any ring I produce.

I spent just shy of a months wages back in '05. Was on 34k pa at the time. Could have afforded more but its only a ring ffs. What did she get me? Nowt I tells ye......

FURET

Spent 1600 euro on the engagement ring and the two wedding rings. I spent even less on the wedding.

Deedsie

FURET wrote: »

Spent 1600 euro on the engagement ring and the two wedding rings. I spent even less on the wedding.

Lucky effer...