Inappropriate comments

hairyprincess

I've been really taken a back the last few days by people, so much for living in a PC world (not the shop ).

A teacher I had in secondary school, haven't seen her in 15 years or so, met her the other day, she asked where I was living, I said name of town. She then asked who was I married to in name of town, I said I'm not married. She said why are you living in name of town, I said oh I wanted a change of scene. She then asked where was I working, I said I'm not, I'm in college. Thankfully she left at that, I'm a fairly polite person so I couldn't tell her even in the politest of terms to fuck off. But inside I was saying "fuck off and mind your own fucking business bitch".

Then today I met a woman who I would only know vaguely in passing, anyway I was chatting to her for a few minutes, and she remarked that my three year old is spoiled, you would know it to look at her says she!! Stupid bitch!! She's just about to have her first baby so we'll soon see who is spoiled then :mad:.

Let's here your stories, I will also take backhanded compliments. I had a girl tell me a while back that I had lost LOADS of weight. Meanwhile I'm crying inside wondering how fat was I!! :eek:

Nodin

Don't you have a mobile with which you can natter to other women about this kind of shite?

flutterflye

hairyprincess wrote: »

I'm a fairly polite person so I couldn't tell her even in the politest of terms to fuck off. But inside I was saying "fuck off and mind your own fucking business bitch".

Here's your problem right here.
Stop being so polite, and tell them to fuck off!

Bipolar Joe

flutterflye wrote: »

Here's your problem right here.
Stop being so polite, and tell them to fuck off!

I love you.

davet82

you should have punched the pregnant one in the belly, that would have shut her up :cool:

flutterflye

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

I love you.

Okay.
I like spending time with you too.

Bipolar Joe

.

Nodin

flutterflye wrote: »

Okay.
I like spending time with you too.

...another 15 years and you won't have bars & glass between ye and him. Thats something to look forward to now, isn't it?

hairyprincess

Nodin wrote: »

Don't you have a mobile with which you can natter to other women about this kind of shite?

No

You are all I have

westendgirlie

Leave the Hairy Princess alone! She usually has only sheep to chat to :P

Nodin

hairyprincess wrote: »

No

You are all I have

You're fucked then so.

Nodin

westendgirlie wrote: »

Leave the Hairy Princess alone! She usually has only sheep to chat to :P

Sheep!!!!!!!!!!"????""!!!!! And well for them that has them.

SunnyDub1

I would have just asked her the same questions back and seen how she answered them

newport2

hairyprincess wrote: »

I had a girl tell me a while back that I had lost LOADS of weight. Meanwhile I'm crying inside wondering how fat was I!! :eek:

I just can't understand this. A girl who's a friend of mine agrees with you though. I used to think it was something women would like to hear, but I'd never say it now.

How can you pay someone a compliment with implying they're better than they were before? If someone says when I'm out tonight "Wow, you look great!", am I supposed to read this as an insinuation that I normally don't and hence take offence? :eek:

Lollers

Don't mind them hairyprincess. It reminds of this old joke. A nosey aul wan is at a wedding, and says to a girl in her early twenties, well you should be next you are not getting any younger. So next time the girl sees the aul biddy at a funeral she says, well you should be next you are not getting any younger either.

stupidusername

In fairness to the first woman, she met you after 15 years, if she's to be polite, and talk to you, what else is she meant to say/ask, other than things about yourself? If you're going to take offence to everything someone asks about your life, then I think you're the one with the problem.

uch

I'd of made up a big Pack of lies about Inheriting a castle and 20 million yoyo's, then feed her shíte about all your lovely possessions, she'd of gotten a pain in her Gee and fúcked off quicker than a Jew in Nazi Germany

newport2

uch wrote: »

I'd of made up a big Pack of lies about Inheriting a castle and 20 million yoyo's, then feed her shíte about all your lovely possessions, she'd of gotten a pain in her Gee and fúcked off quicker than a Jew in Nazi Germany

....and probably started a thread in After Hours about people from the past who talk themselves up too much with BS

SunnyDub1

stupidusername wrote: »

In fairness to the first woman, she met you after 15 years, if she's to be polite, and talk to you, what else is she meant to say/ask, other than things about yourself? If you're going to take offence to everything someone asks about your life, then I think you're the one with the problem.

there is a borderline between been polite and asking someone personal questions like - "where are living" "are you married" .

If it was an old friend or a relative fair enough but it was a teacher. They teach you things, they don't need to know everything about your life 15 years later :rolleyes:

stupidusername

SunnyDub1 wrote: »

there is a borderline between been polite and asking someone personal questions like - "where are living" "are you married" .

If it was an old friend or a relative fair enough but it was a teacher. They teach you things, they don't need to know everything about your life 15 years later :rolleyes:

since when is 'where are you living' too personal? I agree that 'are you married' is a bit of an odd one, but then depending on what age group she's in, that's not that odd. What would you say would be fair for her to have asked so?

newport2

stupidusername wrote: »

since when is 'where are you living' too personal? I agree that 'are you married' is a bit of an odd one, but then depending on what age group she's in, that's not that odd. What would you say would be fair for her to have asked so?

Did you vote yes or no?

Plazaman

hairyprincess wrote: »

..... and she remarked that my three year old is spoiled, .....

Told you in that other thread not to buy that gold plated buggy with the windshield wipers but ohhhh nooooo, you had to get it.

You should study up on developing the fine art of saying Fúck Off whilst fake sneezing or coughing. Tis great and induces a rabbit-in-the-headlights look from the people you're talking to.

stupidusername

newport2 wrote: »

Did you vote yes or no?

What the **** has the referendum got to do with anything?

newport2

stupidusername wrote: »

What the **** has the referendum got to do with anything?

You asked for a fair question for her to have asked.

stupidusername

newport2 wrote: »

You asked for a fair question for her to have asked.

Ah right. so you think that's the only kind of question she should've asked?

newport2

stupidusername wrote: »

Ah right. so you think that's the only kind of question she should've asked?

It's Friday on a bank holiday weekend, humour me!

I get how you could be offended about someone commenting on how your child is being raised, but the other lady was just enquiring as to how you are, I don't see the harm in it. She probably thought you were rude for not asking her the same!

A man that lives down the road from me, who I don't know at all, said hello to me today and said he heard I was working down in the local shop now. I told him about it and then he asked if I'm still in college, which I told him about also, and then he enquired about my sister who also works in another shop in the village, and I told him about her. I then commented that his dog was beautiful, and went on my way. I felt good afterwards as I had just had a nice conversation with someone I hadn't talked to before.

How dare he initiate such a thing!

SunnyDub1

stupidusername wrote: »

since when is 'where are you living' too personal? I agree that 'are you married' is a bit of an odd one, but then depending on what age group she's in, that's not that odd. What would you say would be fair for her to have asked so?

I wouldn't be telling any of my old teachers where I lived, for the simple reason that it's just none of their business. Why do they need to know like They are teachers, they taught us stuff, where we are currently living I don't think is anyway relevant to the teacher.

Teacher was a straight out noisy bit*h imo.

A simply, "hi, how are you keeping" "are doing much with yourself these days? " I think is a fair enough to have asked.

stupidusername

newport2 wrote: »

It's Friday on a bank holiday weekend, humour me!

how about... do you take it up the bum?

SunnyDub1 wrote: »

I wouldn't be telling any of my old teachers where I lived, for the simple reason that it's just none of their business. Why do they need to know like They are teachers, they taught us stuff, where we are currently living I don't think is anyway relevant to the teacher.

Teacher was a straight out noisy bit*h imo.

A simply, "hi, how are you keeping" "are doing much with yourself these days? " I think is a fair enough to have asked.

If you feel so strongly about it, don't indulge. tell her (politely or not) to mind her own business.

hairyprincess

stupidusername wrote: »

since when is 'where are you living' too personal? I agree that 'are you married' is a bit of an odd one, but then depending on what age group she's in, that's not that odd. What would you say would be fair for her to have asked so?

She didn't ask was I married, she asked WHO I was married to. What she was insinuating was, the fact that I was living in the town I live in, which is not where I am originally from, then I must be married to someone from that town. And because she has been living near this town for the last 20 years she presumed she may know who I was married to.

My issue with her, is the way she was firing the questions at me, like a guard. It would be grand if we were sitting in a café having a latte but I met her on the street, and tbh she was only killing the time talking to me because the person she was with was talking privately to the person I was with.

stupidusername

hairyprincess wrote: »

She didn't ask was I married, she asked WHO I was married to. What she was insinuating was, the fact that I was living in the town I live in, which is not where I am originally from, then I must be married to someone from that town. And because she has been living near this town for the last 20 years she presumed she may know who I was married to.

My issue with her, is the way she was firing the questions at me, like a guard. It would be grand if we were sitting in a café having a latte but I met her on the street, and tbh she was only killing the time talking to me because the person she was with was talking privately to the person I was with.

I'll admit it's an odd thing to ask, but hardly enraging.

newport2

stupidusername wrote: »

how about... do you take it up the bum?

Depends who's giving. You?

SunnyDub1

stupidusername wrote: »

If you feel so strongly about it, don't indulge. tell her (politely or not) to mind her own business.

there is no polite way of telling someone to mind their own business :rolleyes:

Temptamperu

I like that i carry an air of "leave me alone c*nt" no one other than friends ask me waste of time questions.

Well theres one "chick" in the chemist is really annoying how are you doing, hows your ma blah blah blah. In my mind ive already been aflame 37 seconds.

swanangel

You struck a nerve with me here, it's usually the same people I know that come out with inappropriate comments. I HATE rude people!

I have a medical condition at the moment that gave me these weird little lumps on my face and two members of the same family on separate days asked 'What's wrong with your face'? :eek:

Clearly if someone has a problem with their face that does not look normal you don't just blurt that out?

I have also gotten this from members of the same family 'It's not that bad, you just look like you have acne all over your face'.
Wow I feel so much better now! I'm sure people who have acne all over their face don't mind having it at all.

Same family tell me every weekend I've lost loads of weight, it's now a running joke for me.
I don't know how I lose LOADS of weight every week and still manage to stay alive sounds like I should have some sort of serious eating disorder by now.

Same girl had a photo of me in a photo album and said to me when we were looking through it ''look how skinny you are there?'' Em I thought I had the same figure now and then, I'm quite happy with it and don't understand this obsession she has with my weight.

Same family when I dye my hair - ''I don't like your hair''
I didn't even ask I just walked in the door.

I also don't think it's inappropriate when people ask me how much my house or engagement ring cost, WTF? That's my personal finances and I get this all the time from hairdressers, colleagues, friends & family........don't care if your my family it's my (our) business.

I just know I'm gonna get this when/I can afford to get married.
''How much is your wedding costing?''
Answer: A little bit less now you're not gonna be invited you nosy ****!

Can't believe someone said your child was spoilt, you think it you don't say it.

Worst thing is when someone constantly gets away with this type of behaviour because apparently they tell it like it is, eh no you're just a mean person!

I have to start telling these people how inappropriate they are, right I'm starting the weekend, next person gets it.

westendgirlie

Goddammit! Can we not just all get along for one afternoon ?

I really need a beer.

up for anything

hairyprincess wrote: »

I will also take backhanded compliments. I had a girl tell me a while back that I had lost LOADS of weight. Meanwhile I'm crying inside wondering how fat was I!! :eek:

Nothing worse than a jellyfish compliment. :mad: You need to practice some generic ones of your own.

stupidusername

newport2 wrote: »

Depends who's giving. You?

hell yeah

SunnyDub1 wrote: »

there is no polite way of telling someone to mind their own business :rolleyes:

well then I guess you can't be polite about it.

westendgirlie wrote: »

Goddammit! Can we not just all get along for one afternoon ?

I really need a beer.

Meet you in town for a sunny one?

batistuta9

we all know the real problem here is you thought you'd be happily married at your age too & your old teacher by asking a simple question of why you were living in that town - obviously a dump, that's why she assumed you were married, why else would you be living there?
has just rekindled this hatred you've gotten inside that your not married at your age & living in a dead end shíthole with only virtual friends

flutterflye

Most people have to get used to me.
I just blurt things out.
Like the girl there saying about her lumpy face - I'd have probably asked about that too!
I honestly don't see what's wrong with most of the things I say!
It's only when I see people's reactions that I think "ah crap, what have I said now?".
It's not intentional at all.
And it's not just about thinking before I speak, because I personally would not get offended by the things I say, so it takes someone explaining it to me to grasp what I've said was inappropriate!

Diamond_Ninja

Teachers are always the same! Because I'm still living in the same are that I went to school I meet old teachers all of the time and it's always like the Spanish bloody Inquisition.. What are you doing with yourself? Where are you living? Do you still pal about with so and so? Any plans to move away from the area? Think next time I meet a nosey person I'll just lie, make up this fantastic unbelieveable life, yes, that would keep me entertained.. :rolleyes:

mackg

SunnyDub1 wrote: »

I wouldn't be telling any of my old teachers where I lived, for the simple reason that it's just none of their business. Why do they need to know like They are teachers, they taught us stuff, where we are currently living I don't think is anyway relevant to the teacher.

Teacher was a straight out noisy bit*h imo.

A simply, "hi, how are you keeping" "are doing much with yourself these days? " I think is a fair enough to have asked.

Why? They probably don't even care, just making conversation. When you havn't seen someone in ages it's hard to know where to start, so where are you these days or what are up to these days works well. It's not like she asked for her full address. I'm from outside Tralee, when I bump into people I haven't seen in ages I'll tell them the area where I live now, it's not a big deal.

swanangel

up for anything wrote: »

Nothing worse than a jellyfish compliment. :mad: You need to practice some generic ones of your own.

Oh a jellyfish compliment, is that a compliment that actually stings a little? I have never heard that expression, I like that one.

westendgirlie

stupidusername wrote: »

Meet you in town for a sunny one?

Come up to my end of the country. RoryFest has begun already

Battered Mars Bar

I don't like getting asked questions either, that's why I moved into the woods and built myself a wooden hut...and a basement beneath said wooden hut where I reside most of the time. Cunningly above I've arranged a family of mannequins seated around a set table with the radio on low to simulate them speaking to anyone that might think of squatting while I'm in my den, on internetz.

stupidusername

westendgirlie wrote: »

Come up to my end of the country. RoryFest has begun already

oh, couldn't do that journey, even for RoryFest

Carter P Fly

I hate when peopel comment on the fact that Im fat. Its stating the obvious but still, Go fcuk yourself. A guy in my office I've never seen before called me fat the other day so I called him a Cnut, Seemed an appropriate response.

I also hate people who ask why a couple have no kids which is the same question as when are you planning to have kids and so on. Really, there is no scanrio where that question is appropriate.

swanangel

Carter P Fly wrote: »

I hate when peopel comment on the fact that Im fat. Its stating the obvious but still, Go fcuk yourself. A guy in my office I've never seen before called me fat the other day so I called him a Cnut, Seemed an appropriate response.

I also hate people who ask why a couple have no kids which is the same question as when are you planning to have kids and so on. Really, there is no scanrio where that question is appropriate.

Someone in your office called you fat? Wow, HR would love that. He does sound like c*** in fairness.

My friend gets this all the time (not in the office but) apparently it's fine to say this to a man, you see men have no feelings!

Christmas day his Father said to him while eating dinner..... '' you have put on loads of weight'' that was the end of his Christmas dinner and he went home early.
(Same family as before, maybe if you grow up around this kind of inappropriate behaviour you become blind to common decency?)

Oh and speaking of the kids thing, my partner told his Father we would like to adopt in the future and his response was to ask ''why can she not have kids?''
As far as I know I can and he can but really, really does he think people only adopt if they have no other choice.

I'm off to ask some wheelchair users why their legs don't work and if they can have sex!:mad:

DonQuay1

hairyprincess wrote: »

I've been really taken a back the last few days by people, so much for living in a PC world (not the shop ).

A teacher I had in secondary school, haven't seen her in 15 years or so, met her the other day, she asked where I was living, I said name of town. She then asked who was I married to in name of town, I said I'm not married. She said why are you living in name of town, I said oh I wanted a change of scene. She then asked where was I working, I said I'm not, I'm in college. Thankfully she left at that, I'm a fairly polite person so I couldn't tell her even in the politest of terms to fuck off. But inside I was saying "fuck off and mind your own fucking business bitch".

Then today I met a woman who I would only know vaguely in passing, anyway I was chatting to her for a few minutes, and she remarked that my three year old is spoiled, you would know it to look at her says she!! Stupid bitch!! She's just about to have her first baby so we'll soon see who is spoiled then :mad:.

Let's here your stories, I will also take backhanded compliments. I had a girl tell me a while back that I had lost LOADS of weight. Meanwhile I'm crying inside wondering how fat was I!! :eek:

Ummm ... maybe you have major hang-ups about the questions she asked you (Para 1) ... so you were upset and got pis*ed off.

Maybe your child was exhibiting said signs of spoil-tiddley-idleness and you got upset because it reflected badly on yourself (para 2)?

Maybe you didn't lose weight (para 3) - which is why you now seek backhanded compliments?

Let me be blunt:

If you're ranting about a person / situation .... that's one thing. But if you're introducing a discussion topic .... surely Inappropriate comments like 'stupid bitch' and 'fuck off and mind your own fucking business bitch' should be left at the door?
If they were - at the very least - ... I'd be neutral, maybe even on your side for your story .... rather than thinking the comments touched a nerve and were maybe justified.

Ficheall

Your teacher sounds like a decent sort, OP. She just asked you some small-talk questions while you were standing waiting for the other pair to finish chatting. She'll be glad to know that the child she taught has grown up to be as petulant as ever.

Defiler Of The Coffin

When meeting one's old teachers, do you still call them sir/miss or by their first name? Feels weird calling them by their first name.

Except of course for one of my old teachers called Jim. He's actually good craic, often bought the man a pint.