Taking pictures at a funeral

I recently attended the funeral of a close friend who passed away in her mid-twenties. One of my work colleagues also attended and spent the entire service snapping pictures with his massive camera. I asked my boyfriend WTF he was doing and my boyfriend said he was taking pictures for people who couldn't be there. He didn't seem to think it was that strange. When we went outside for the burial, he continued to take pictures and nobody seemed to be saying anything.

The day after the funeral, I logged onto Facebook and was greeted with the funeral pictures on my news feed. He had tagged our dead friend in them! Pictures of the casket and everything. Obviously someone, probably one of her relatives, took offence because they were quickly removed, but I just couldn't believe anyone would actually do that. It just seems so incredibly insensitive and inappropriate. I don't understand how it's ever acceptable - most people who 'wanted to be there' would have been there if it meant that much to them and even if you couldn't make it, why on earth would you want pictures?

What do you think?

minidazzler

I think What the fcuk is wrong with some people? What possible reason could there be to take photo's? It's a funeral, not a party, it's not Finnegans fcuking wake, noone is gonna wanna see those photo's. That person is a damn retard.

FoxT

Praise the Lord, & thank your lot,
for he is dead, and you are not.

Pushtrak

Methinks they spent too much time in AH.

kwalshe

that is really freakey , altough my father takes pictures of dead people when they are in the funeral home when nobody else is around. But fuppin' hell, tagging the images on facebook..

A lot of people's lives are so engrossed in facebook that they honestly wouldn't see what's wrong with that. To be honest I even cringe when I see RIP messages on facebook, it's just not the appropriate forum in my opinion.

It's a pretty sad state of affairs really.

Where To

If it happened at my funeral I'd be lived.

shopaholic01

So disrespectful, I can't believe he wasn't told to stop during the funeral.

But Facebook ..............that's bordering on fetish behaviour.

minidazzler

true-or-false wrote: »

A lot of people's lives are so engrossed in facebook that they honestly wouldn't see what's wrong with that. To be honest I even cringe when I see RIP messages on facebook, it's just not the appropriate forum in my opinion.

It's a pretty sad state of affairs really.

Even if you believe in heaven, god and the flying spagetti monster, what makes people think that their dead loved ones are gonna be checking facebook in their version of paradise? It's weird, I can understand stories being relayed about a person on their page after they die, but just writing "RIP xx" To someone you met in a bar 2 years ago and haven't seen since is stupid.

jimmycrackcorm

I think it's actually a good idea. Facebook in particular is about connecting people and in this case for people who couldn't attend then it highlights the poignancy of the situation.

Sure is better use of FB than photos of beer and ducks.

Rebelkell

A buddy of mine learned of his aunts death via facebook post from his cousin. Wtf is wrong ith people.
Good job facebook will be long gone in 5 years anyway

minidazzler

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

I think it's actually a good idea. Facebook in particular is about connecting people and in this case for people who couldn't attend then it highlights the poignancy of the situation.

Sure is better use of FB than photos of beer and ducks.

The poignancy of a moment like this is kinda ruined when there is a click click and a flash followed by an "oh fcuk, sorry, thought the flash was off". If you can't make it to a funeral what is looking at pictures gonna do? Confirm they are dead?

Tonyandthewhale

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

I think it's actually a good idea. Facebook in particular is about connecting people and in this case for people who couldn't attend then it highlights the poignancy of the situation.

No, it trivialises the situation. I'm not a fan of making a big fuss about funerals but a little bit of respect for the deceased and the people mourning is a must.

No one wants some gob****e running around snapping pictures of them while they're saying their final goodbyes to a loved one.

Tonyandthewhale

Tonyandthewhale wrote: »

No, it trivialises the situation. I'm not a fan of making a big fuss about funerals but a little bit of respect for the deceased and the people mourning is a must.

No one wants some gob****e running around snapping pictures of them while they're saying their final goodbyes to a loved one.

That was the main thing for me. The family were weeping at the graveside and he was taking photos of it all. I felt self conscious and awkward with the camera there so I can only imagine how it would have felt to be a close relative.

mikemac1

Out of order

woodoo

I'd be angry if some prick was taking pictures of my grief and putting them up of facebook.

JerryHandbag

Person taking those pictures is one sad ****ing bastard tbh.

Meauldsegosha

My cousin handed out invites to his 21st at my grandmothers funeral which I thought was inappropriate. Photographs would be a big no no.

humanji

I'm sorry to hear your friend passed away, but:

Jermaine Better Terminology wrote: »

He had tagged our dead friend in them!

is one of the funniest things I've heard in a long time. I mean, there is an actual logic behind it. But it is so incredibly detached from the solemnity of the occasion that it beggars belief. It's like something David Brent would do.

It's just plain odd that someone would be taking photos. I'd say that people weren't reacting to it because they were trying to ignore it.

BorneTobyWilde

My friend Erin has many pics of a recent funeral on her face book,
And it was her grandmother,
Even pics of casket, And its open, With close ups of her dead grandma,
And she's not a crazy person, She's nicest person you could meet,
So hardly that weird ?

humanji

BorneTobyWilde wrote: »

My friend Erin has many pics of a recent funeral on her face book,
And it was her grandmother,
Even pics of casket, And its open, With close ups of her dead grandma,
And she's not a crazy person, She's nicest person you could meet,
So hardly that weird ?

Posting photos of a dead body on Facebook? How is that not weird?

ahnowbrowncow

BorneTobyWilde wrote: »

My friend Erin has many pics of a recent funeral on her face book,
And it was her grandmother,
Even pics of casket, And its open, With close ups of her dead grandma,
And she's not a crazy person, She's nicest person you could meet,
So hardly that weird ?

That IS weird

She actually sounds really crazy, I'd law low for awhile

KKkitty

Similar thing happened to my cousin. Her husband died in his late 30's. Someone who claimed to be an old friend of her husband showed up seemingly to pay his respects. My cousin's husband was Australian and so was his old friend but I'm not sure if it's an Aussie thing but days later a link was put up on facebook to a blog showing photos of my cousins husband in the coffin and some of the funeral home and mourners. I couldn't understand the mentality of the old friend to do that to my cousin at all.

woodoo

Can we not have one last thing that facebook doesn't encroach on.

chrismon

BorneTobyWilde wrote: »

My friend Erin has many pics of a recent funeral on her face book,
And it was her grandmother,
Even pics of casket, And its open, With close ups of her dead grandma,
And she's not a crazy person, She's nicest person you could meet,
So hardly that weird ?

Its very weird

Meauldsegosha

BorneTobyWilde wrote: »

My friend Erin has many pics of a recent funeral on her face book,
And it was her grandmother,
Even pics of casket, And its open, With close ups of her dead grandma,
And she's not a crazy person, She's nicest person you could meet,
So hardly that weird ?

That's weird.

girl in the striped socks

I don't even leave my phone turned on at funerals never mind take photos.
Funerals are for getting drunk & telling stories & singing songs. At least it is for an old person.
Young persons funeral is different. People drink but don't get drunk, they tell stories but don't enjoy them & singing is generally a no no.

A good wake is often a great session. But taking photos & putting them up on Facebook? I'd break his fcuking face tbh.

humanji

humanji wrote: »

I'm sorry to hear your friend passed away, but:

is one of the funniest things I've heard in a long time. I mean, there is an actual logic behind it. But it is so incredibly detached from the solemnity of the occasion that it beggars belief. It's like something David Brent would do.

It's just plain odd that someone would be taking photos. I'd say that people weren't reacting to it because they were trying to ignore it.

I actually laughed a bit when I first saw them because it was just so ridiculous. When I was at the funeral, I assumed the camera must have been cleared with the family because nobody said anything.

StupidLikeAFox

What exactly is the problem??

pjproby

my mum died some years ago. would love to have pictures of the event. saw so many people there, could not remember afterwards who they were.
a few photos would have been much appreciated.

ColeTrain

Meauldsegosha wrote: »

My cousin handed out invites to his 21st at my grandmothers funeral which I thought was inappropriate. Photographs would be a big no no.

A kick up the hole is what your cousin needs.

BorneTobyWilde wrote: »

My friend Erin has many pics of a recent funeral on her face book,
And it was her grandmother,
Even pics of casket, And its open, With close ups of her dead grandma,
And she's not a crazy person, She's nicest person you could meet,
So hardly that weird ?

Your friend - the one they call Erin, is a very strange person.

Yamanoto

There is a case to be made for allowing a photographer discreetly and sensitively document a funeral at the family's behest.

It's obviously a profound and deeply intense experience which often passes the family by - capturing small moments of condolence, tenderness, grief and even humour shown by those in attendance could conceivably provide some solace to those who need it.

Battered Mars Bar

Piss ass sheepbook generation :rolleyes: There'd be no bosses like moi around :cool: Wouldn't be long hurling his artistic special friend photography arse outta there.

steddyeddy

Jermaine Better Terminology wrote: »

I recently attended the funeral of a close friend who passed away in her mid-twenties. One of my work colleagues also attended and spent the entire service snapping pictures with his massive camera. I asked my boyfriend WTF he was doing and my boyfriend said he was taking pictures for people who couldn't be there. He didn't seem to think it was that strange. When we went outside for the burial, he continued to take pictures and nobody seemed to be saying anything.

The day after the funeral, I logged onto Facebook and was greeted with the funeral pictures on my news feed. He had tagged our dead friend in them! Pictures of the casket and everything. Obviously someone, probably one of her relatives, took offence because they were quickly removed, but I just couldn't believe anyone would actually do that. It just seems so incredibly insensitive and inappropriate. I don't understand how it's ever acceptable - most people who 'wanted to be there' would have been there if it meant that much to them and even if you couldn't make it, why on earth would you want pictures?

What do you think?

Depending on how well I knew the deceased I would have smashed the camera over his head to be honest!

KKkitty

A funeral is a time to start grieving, come together to remember the person who has died, go for a drink and be surrounded by people who respected the deceased. Coming to a funeral with a camera to take pictures of what should be a dignified farewell is disgusting no matter what way you look at it.

Battered Mars Bar

KKkitty wrote: »

A funeral is a time to start grieving, come together to remember the person who has died, go for a drink and be surrounded by people who respected the deceased. Coming to a funeral with a camera to take pictures of what should be a dignified farewell is disgusting no matter what way you look at it.

Fact! although what you said is interesting...to me anyway, probably no one else but this bit...
"Coming to a funeral with a camera to take pictures of what should be a dignified farewell is disgusting no matter what way you look at it."
also applies...
"Coming to a pub with a camera to take pictures of what should be a dignified pissup is disgusting no matter what way you look at it."
is also very true imho :pac:

Thoie

pjproby wrote: »

my mum died some years ago. would love to have pictures of the event. saw so many people there, could not remember afterwards who they were.
a few photos would have been much appreciated.

Would the book of condolences not have that information?

KKkitty

Battered Mars Bar wrote: »

KKkitty wrote: »

A funeral is a time to start grieving, come together to remember the person who has died, go for a drink and be surrounded by people who respected the deceased. Coming to a funeral with a camera to take pictures of what should be a dignified farewell is disgusting no matter what way you look at it.

Fact! although what you said is interesting...to me anyway, probably no one else but this bit...
"Coming to a funeral with a camera to take pictures of what should be a dignified farewell is disgusting no matter what way you look at it."
also applies...
"Coming to a pub with a camera to take pictures of what should be a dignified pissup is disgusting no matter what way you look at it."
is also very true imho :pac:

Mars bar you'll go places with an attitude like that. How dare they ruin a night of blatant debauchery with taking photos of it :pac

Battered Mars Bar

KKkitty wrote: »

Mars bar you'll go places with an attitude like that. How dare they ruin a night of blatant debauchery with taking photos of it :pac

A man can't drink and get naked anymore, it's a disgrace...I'll have to call joe duffy :pac:

KKkitty

Battered Mars Bar wrote: »

KKkitty wrote: »

Mars bar you'll go places with an attitude like that. How dare they ruin a night of blatant debauchery with taking photos of it :pac

A man can't drink and get naked anymore, it's a disgrace...I'll have to call joe duffy :pac:

Joe is the man isn't he :pac:

ejmaztec

I've got visions of someone like a fashion photographer, clicking away and asking for more sobbing.

Lone Stone

Thats fk'd up, when i was at some relations funeral her daughter in law was snapping away with her camera. I thought it was very weird.

Battered Mars Bar

KKkitty wrote: »

Joe is the man isn't he :pac:

Well you know I may be the big man behind my laptop but tbh if I wanted anything done in real life I'd go to joe

Mr.Biscuits

You sure you weren't at a wedding.

When I came across this I asked the person taking the photo what the caption on facebook would be, "me and james at his dad's funeral xx"?

Vicar in a tutu

Here's a pic of me planking on grandads coffin :):)

LH Pathe

Omg, look at how bad mommy's mascara was running *scoff* *bìtch*

Vicar in a tutu

She looks so FAT in that dress :mad::mad::mad:

Seriously though, taking pictures at a funeral has to be the most tacky thing I can think of.. Do these fools not even feel a bit awkward about it?

Nyan Cat

The height of tack.

Could've been even worse though: 'can you move ti the left mrs Boyce, and you too mr twit, huddle up you weeping people for a good picture - sob!' really it could've been worse

confuseddotcom

Can see how snap snap snapping for a full hour's service wouldn't be well-received, but depending on the person 2/3 very discreet pics might be okay? A big might though, but ..... I'm just thinking of say someone who would have had a huge contribution to the community or would have been very popular around the place with a huge active social life; - 2/3 pics of a couple of memorable moments tactfully snapped/taken at some point throughout the day might be just fitting to the person and their lives that they lived / fulfilled while on earth.

A photographer from Galway died tragically as a by-stander at the Cavan Stages Rally last week, and I'm sure he has taken some quality pics in his photography career, so it would be a nice token gesture to have roles reversed and have a couple of pics of him in memory. Or somebody like a motor-biker, is another I think that it would be nice to have a couple of pics to the end. Certain characters or lifestyles like that if that doesn't sound too crass, but like full of life to the end ........

But I'm not talking about photos of the dead or the coffin, more-so a couple of pics of the day key moments poignant moments but respectful pics at the same time.

While messages and wishes for the deceased on Facebook might be deemed in-appropriate, - some people are now going further than Facebook and absorbing themselves in the world of Youtube, where some searches will show up commemoration/memorial of the deceased posted by loved ones and friends. Clips/vids/pics of their whole life-story in a slide-show etc. commemorating their life; - baby to toddler to school-days to teen to student to college-life, single-life, married-life, kids etc., and also some have a couple of pics in of their final farewell day, funeral procession/ceremony which I think can be appropriate and can be quite fitting and memorable and a good idea for memories and where done tastefully can be poignant leaving a positive after-effect.

books4sale

RTE and the media are at it the whole time though, especially if its a well known irish person, a gangland shooting, car crash, suicide, the list goes on.

They are round there in a flash, cameras stuck in everyones face recording everything for the whole country to see.

Pretty messed up and highly disrepectful.