My Housemate pissed in my bed........

krieture

So.....

Just got home from a very enjoyable night to find one of my housemates in my bed and my sheets stinking of piss. Upon further investigation he managed to de-face my lovely sheets and bed.

The sheets are in the wash and i moved the ****er into his own room. Im sitting here eating a bacon sandwich with a cuppa.

What does he deserve?

Im looking for creative answers and im not gonna piss on him or his bed!

BBDBB

a round of applause?

Agent Smith

You should have blasted him with the bed sheets...

xsiborg

you could've made him a bacon sandwich while you were making your own, he obviously needs the soakage!

superluck

Serve a breakfast role with slices of excrement in it, make them look like black pudding.

EDIT: why even ask? I piss in my bed all the time, that's what plastic covers are for.

Lionel Messy

That story is pure GOLD.

john why

Kill the cu#t

Shane-KornSpace

do what my mate did to his ex.

Take a dump on his clothes.

deman

Wait until there is a big group of you out some night and then present him with a pack of extra large nappies in front of everyone and explain that he still has a few accidents at night.

krieture

Went to check if he was alright and saw a crate of bulmers in his room. They have been moved into my room as deposit for the sheets and we will be swapping mattresses later today. Is that fair????

I like the nappies idea.

Pushtrak

krieture wrote: »

Went to check if he was alright and saw a crate of bulmers in his room. They have been moved into my room as deposit for the sheets and we will be swapping mattresses later today. Is that fair????

Robbing his bulmers? Probably not. The other part? Yeah. In fact if you'd made the discoveries the other way around, you'd probably have best left him stay in your room and taken his room for the night. Have him sleep in his own piss. Same deal with your plan, just both of ye sleep in your own beds. But you still are getting a raw deal. Still, though wouldn't advocate robbing his bulmers if they are his. Look for something else.

krieture

Pushtrak wrote: »

Robbing his bulmers? Probably not. The other part? Yeah. In fact if you'd made the discoveries the other way around, you'd probably have best left him stay in your room and taken his room for the night. Have him sleep in his own piss. Same deal with your plan, just both of ye sleep in your own beds. But you still are getting a raw deal. Still, though wouldn't advocate robbing his bulmers if they are his. Look for something else.

Im not going near my room. all windows are open and ventilating. Im gonna be on the couch until it gets sorted.

In all fairness the bulmers cost him 24squid in the tesco deal so that is least he should pay for his crime, no?

jester77

krieture wrote: »

Went to check if he was alright and saw a crate of bulmers in his room. They have been moved into my room as deposit for the sheets and we will be swapping mattresses later today. Is that fair????

I like the nappies idea.

He's pissed on your mattress once and you want to swap for his, it probably gets pissed on weekly

Oranage2

Stab him in the leg with a kitchen knife!

krieture

jester77 wrote: »

He's pissed on your mattress once and you want to swap for his, it probably gets pissed on weekly

Good point. So i need a new mattress. preferably one that is very expensive and very comfortable:D

Any suggestions?

Kolido

What was he doing in your bed?..waiting for you?

Show Time

I hope you rubbed his face in the piss.

Mickey Dazzler

A good unlubed fisting.

staker

Admit it OP, it was your bed's turn for the golden shower shenanigans. Lover's spat-soak it up!

mattser

So......fair dues to him......So

mattjack

krieture wrote: »

Went to check if he was alright and saw a crate of bulmers in his room. They have been moved into my room as deposit for the sheets and we will be swapping mattresses later today. Is that fair????

I like the nappies idea.

If he still has a crate of Bulmers left for today, it sounds like pissin' in your bed is the least of your problems.

How many cans in said crate ?

amdublin

krieture wrote: »

Good point. So i need a new mattress. preferably one that is very expensive and very comfortable:D

Any suggestions?

You need a new mattress, an expensive and comfortable one.

krieture

Kolido wrote: »

What was he doing in your bed?..waiting for you?

Our doors to our rooms are next to each other. I presume he took the wrong exit and K.O'ed on a bed

krieture

mattjack wrote: »

If he still has a crate of Bulmers left for today, it sounds like pissin' in your bed is the least of your problems.

How many cans in said crate ?

Pretty much full. maybe 3/4 missing

mikemac1

krieture wrote: »

Just got home from a very enjoyable night

Getting home at 8am?

I'd say it was

krieture

staker wrote: »

Admit it OP, it was your bed's turn for the golden shower shenanigans. Lover's spat-soak it up!

i wish i was there. missed all the action:p

krieture

mikemac1 wrote: »

Getting home at 8am?

I'd say it was

Hande hoche!

He is marking his territory.

forfuxsake

krieture wrote: »

Our doors to our rooms are next to each other. I presume he took the wrong exit and K.O'ed on a bed

Exit or entrance or don't ye know the difference? In case ye don't allow me to illustrate

My bumhole is an exit.
Your bumhole is subject to rumours and gossip which is fairenough considering you can honestly say that your housemate slept in your bed last night and emptied his tank.

Jester252

Flip the script on him

johndoe99

take a dump is his shoes, and have a good laugh when he puts them on.

tallus

At the very least he should replace the mattress. You should put a ****ing lock on the door to prevent the tosser from doing it again and get him to fund a new mattress in the meantime.

ladypip

He needs to buy you one of these : http://www.hastens.com/en-gb/ they retail at $59, 750.

mikemac1

Strong locks make for good housemates

Something like that anyway

krieture

tallus wrote: »

At the very least he should replace the mattress. You should put a ****ing lock on the door to prevent the tosser from doing it again and get him to fund a new mattress in the meantime.

I know your right about locks and security and personal stuff. But i've lived with this lad (and another lad, both really good childhood friends) and this is the first time its happened. I'Ve known them both 12+ years, lived 1+ years.

**** happens. New Mattress & Apology will be accepted.


Friends EH:eek:

Jason Todd

Next time he's out on the town, head into his room and take everything he owns... everything and put it on his bed, stack it all nice and high and when he comes hoping to fall in to his nice comfy pissy bed he won't be able to. We did this to a housemate of ours and he was so wrecked he couldn't take everything off so just slept on the floor and had a sh!t nights' sleep. Might go some way to getting him back