Competition: Variations on a theme 9 (Twilight Zone)

Arlecchina

Ten cups of coffee and much gnashing of teeth later, and I've actually submitted. Phew. That was all totally pulled from the seat of my pants, but I'm so glad I did it.

Well done everyone! I'm really looking forward to reading them all.

Toasterspark

Tsch, look at the time, why aren't the entries up yet?! Soooo unprofessional Pickarooney. :P

Das Kitty

Squeaked mine in.

I was too hungover yesterday to work on it.

angelll

Realised at 11.25 that i had only 4 sentences written so whatever grammer mistakes are in it i don't actually care at this stage! That's what i get for playing song pop on fb for 2 hrs instead of writing. (so addictive!) Had a near panic when it wouldn't all fit into one pm and then had to wait 60 secs to send another but think it's all in there!

pickarooney

I think I got 14/27 entries. I'll need to double-check later. These should be up Monday afternoon with a bit of luck. I think it's just under the limit for a single round so there will be no heats or play-offs or round-robin paper rock scissors contests.

Antilles

Wow that's a hell of a dropout rate! Anyone who didn't submit should be named and shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamed.

pickarooney

Antilles wrote: »

Wow that's a hell of a dropout rate! Anyone who didn't submit should be named and shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamed.

First post updated. I wasn't really expecting over ten so it's a decent result. Well, I haven't read any of them yet, but...

Antilles

You got submissions from some very good writers. I'm looking forward to reading this lot!

tomorrow! aww, dying to read the others!

Toasterspark

Antilles wrote: »

You got submissions from some very good writers. I'm looking forward to reading this lot!

Cream of the crop ex-winners among those entrants that submitted stories. Should be a good read!

Das Kitty

Looking forward to some good reads.

--Kaiser--

Antilles wrote: »

Wow that's a hell of a dropout rate! Anyone who didn't submit should be named and shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamed.

Not at all. I'd rather come 14th than 27th

Toasterspark

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

Not at all. I'd rather come 14th than 27th

I mean, technically the no-shows come last, right? So we'll all be placed in the top half no matter what happens!

Toasterspark

Toasterspark wrote: »

I mean, technically the no-shows come last, right? So we'll all be placed in the top half no matter what happens!

everybody's a winner

http://www.matthaze.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/partrib.jpg

pickarooney

I'm putting these up now. Please PM me ASAP if there are any issues with the formatting of your story or if it doesn't appear by early afternoon.

looks like them all up now is it

pickarooney

Yeah, just added the poll.

alchemist33

How many votes can we have?

Toasterspark

Just after reading the entries there on my phone (will write a reply and vote later) and they are all of a really high quality, i am seriously impressed by the standard of our forum members! At this rate we'll be able to launch our own short story collection. :P

pickarooney

Story number 9 was missing the second part. If anyone has read it and found it a bit cliffhangery please go back and read on!

alchemist33

alchemist33 wrote: »

How many votes can we have?

im voting for 3, i think you can have a few

Toasterspark wrote: »

Just after reading the entries there on my phone (will write a reply and vote later) and they are all of a really high quality, i am seriously impressed by the standard of our forum members! At this rate we'll be able to launch our own short story collection. :P

yeah i tore through them there
think i will vote now

pickarooney

If anyone wants to pimp the contest, feel free to edit your sigs

hcass

pickarooney wrote: »

If anyone wants to pimp the contest, feel free to edit your sigs

Wha? I'm not down with the lingo... Help.

El Guapo!

hcass wrote: »

pickarooney wrote: »

If anyone wants to pimp the contest, feel free to edit your sigs

Wha? I'm not down with the lingo... Help.

You can put a link to this thread in your signature to generate more interest across the website.
Go to the user cp and edit signature.

Six of One

*Hangs head in shame for not submitting*

Sorry everybody. I had a story written in my head but that is where it looks like it will stay! Fair play to everybody who got their act together, I am going to have a good read of them this evening.

Toasterspark

Just put up a comment for every story there, so take a look!

I was genuinely torn when I had to vote. Usually, there's a clear-cut winner, but I would be happy if any of those stories won the VOAT.

i'm trying to guess which story belongs to whom :pac:

Agent Weebley

Could I possibly have the link to see the submissions? . . . or can I only read this discussion about the stories? Some threads seem to be a private thang. If so, sorry to intrude.

I am quite keen on this topic, as I recently did a parallel to Harlan Ellison - “Demon With A Glass Hand” from The Outer Limits.

alchemist33

Agent Weebley wrote: »

Could I possibly have the link to see the submissions? . . . or can I only read this discussion about the stories? Some threads seem to be a private thang. If so, sorry to intrude.

I am quite keen on this topic, as I recently did a parallel to Harlan Ellison - “Demon With A Glass Hand” from The Outer Limits.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056688865

It's there in Creative Writing.

Toasterspark, damn you. I'm going to have to guess which review was your own now

Agent Weebley

alchemist33 wrote: »

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056688865

It's there in Creative Writing.

Thanks . . . you're golden.

Das Kitty

Jaysus, I'm so slow at reading them. I've read five of them so far. The standard is fantastic. I'll hopefully have my voting in by the weekend.

Arlecchina

I'm amazed at the standard, too. A really great bunch of stories! Fair play, everyone.

I'm swamped with work at the moment, but I'll have my votes up before the weekend.

Mr E

I've read about half of them. Great stuff so far....

Madame K

I'm shamed. I didn't submit and didn't have a good reason to not do so; as I could still manage other writing.

pickarooney

I hope you voted at least

Toasterspark

I'm loving that people are taking the time to write insightful replies to lots of the stories. It's a great exercise in writing all around, seeing what readers enjoyed and what they felt was lacking in a story.

Madame K

But of course! There was some fantastic writing here. It was really a joy to read everyone's submissions.

Toasterspark

I literally don't know what I just read there with Agent Weebley's reply. What.

EDIT: But you're very entertaining!

--Kaiser--

Agent Weebly's posts do not make a lick of sense

Toasterspark

If you've entered a story and haven't already voted... shame on you!

Das Kitty

Toasterspark wrote: »

If you've entered a story and haven't already voted... shame on you!

Relax would ya. It's not closing til the 16th. Would you rather people vote having not given each story their due attention?

I haven't voted yet, I had planned to at the weekend, but, well, bouncy castles are distracting.

Oryx

Toasterspark wrote: »

If you've entered a story and haven't already voted... shame on you!

I'm having to do everything on my phone. Calm down dear, I'll get to it!

Toasterspark

Ugh, phone internet is the worst for typing. I read them all on the bus on my phone but you really need a laptop to type out long replies. Especially if you're on a dumbphone.

Agent Weebley

Hi pickarooney,

I was super-busy yesterday and did not see your comment:

Originally Posted by Agent Weebley - Am I going on a little too much about Gordon? I'll stop.
Yes. Please do. Thanks.

. . . till late last night. I am not sure what to make of it. Am I too verbose? Too stegano-cryptic? I was so looking forward to my last critique . . . my fave: story number 5 - Robo-Daughter. I have put many hours into the critique, yet I now feel it is unwanted, therefore, if I were to post it, I would be banned again. It that so?

Since this thread seems to have gone very quiet, my comments stick out like a sore thumb. Yet my critiques are being critiqued on the original contest preamble thread. Cannot quite figure than one . . . oh, I get it . . those types of comments would take away from the critiques here.

Wait a minute . . . OK, I have now copied and pasted this reply on the newly emergent critique of the critiques thread, with a link to the Vote thread.

Hi Toasterspark and Kaiser!

I am of the mind that if I decide to critique a story, then I should join the storyteller and help them along the path to my way of thinking on the story. Is that wrong? The armchair critic jumps off the couch, gets in the driver's seat, takes off like a rocket, and . . . . . nothing. I cannot do my last critique unless you want me to post it. As they say in Grand Theft Auto: I get the drift.

If my signature works, I will put my standard "W" with an advertising link to the short story and voting contest, closing July 16 . . . 6 days away. Afterwards, the link will change to be my favourite current link(s) on boards.ie. at the time. (I cannot find where it says whether I have enough lives yet, so I have no idea whether the signature will work.)

And silly me! I just pored over the reams of data given to me in Prison . . . I am allowed to post a link of my choice. I was told that by . . . Gordon.

Great site and great people, by the way. Lotsa fun.

pickarooney

I quite clearly asked to to stop wittering on about Gordon and prison and anything else irrelevant to the thread at hand. Your critiques are most welcome, your off-topic rambling and passive aggressive béal bocht act less so.

Toasterspark

pickarooney wrote: »

I quite clearly asked to to stop wittering on about Gordon and prison and anything else irrelevant to the thread at hand. Your critiques are most welcome, your off-topic rambling and passive aggressive béal bocht act less so.

Yeah, I mean I hate to be a killjoy, but I would really like to see you do one all-inclusive critique of the stories you liked/disliked, rather than many long-winded stories in character.

I don't mind about my story, but a lot of other talented people took the time to write great stories, and they deserve a reply that is about their work, not about yours.

Agent Weebley

Toasterspark wrote: »

Yeah, I mean I hate to be a killjoy, but I would really like to see you do one all-inclusive critique of the stories you liked/disliked, rather than many long-winded stories in character.

I don't mind about my story, but a lot of other talented people took the time to write great stories, and they deserve a reply that is about their work, not about yours.

If I give you the decryption key for the critique of story Number 2, then I will quite likely be banned from creative writing.

Please note that I loved all 3 stories so much. All I was trying to do was add to the great stories with uplifting and (hopefully) guiding steganography! Critiques are normally a kick in the face.

Sorry for intruding.

Toasterspark

Agent Weebley wrote: »

Sorry for intruding.

Now don't be like that, I didn't mean it in a bad way. Your critiques are more than welcome. One long post with your top three stories and a critique would be a great contribution. Several posts in character tends to dilute your contribution and make your posts a little... spammy? And more about you than the competition.

You could always post a separate thread with your own story?

Agent Weebley

Toasterspark wrote: »

Now don't be like that, I didn't mean it in a bad way. Your critiques are more than welcome. One long post with your top three stories and a critique would be a great contribution. Several posts in character tends to dilute your contribution and make your posts a little... spammy? And more about you than the competition.

You could always post a separate thread with your own story?

I never take offence, Toasterspark; I adjust.

But are my critiques more than welcome? My 1st critique was only 279 words, and my 2nd critique was only 391 words. Both designed to uplift, not overshadow. My 2nd critique was written at a later date, based on events that had unfolded in the meantime, and meshed with the 1st critique. My 3rd critique has not been written yet, but I will do it after posting this comment. It will mesh wit the 1st and 2nd critiques as a 3rd strand . . . a whirling green DNA lightshow, like a "what the . . ." that should appeal to a select few "CS Lewis - Screwtape Letters" afficionados. I will not post it on boards.ie, unless requested by pickaroooney, as I value my connection here.

Posting "in character" is somewhat of an oxymoron, as I am Agent Weebley. How could I post out of character? That would be disingenuous.

For pickarooney to utter An Béal Bocht in reference to my writing is a compliment in my mind, but I would have preferred Spike Milligan, as I have a quadra-polar personality.

Spammy? Newbies are spammy, but Oldbies? are not. Mods IDing people exhibiting Newbie self or 3rd party promotion early on, is the key issue. I just want to help the 6.2 million Irish and their 80 million Diaspora, of which I am one . . . the son of an Andersonstown, Belfast Man. I would love it for there to be 7 billion creative, self-actualised individuals on this planet . . . beginning with The 86.2 million Irish. For that reason, I gravitated here, to the Creative Writing Forum, away from Politics and Economics blogs/newspapers, where I have spent the last 2+ years. Wanna talk about Apolitics and Money Power? I'm your man! Maybe I should switch Forums?

And I do have a separate thread with my story.

Agent Weebley

Ah, what the hay . . . I will show you an edited explanation of my critique that I did for you on the 7/8 @ 6:18am. Names are x'ed out (removed):

______________________________________________

[xxxx said 7/8 @ 6:06am:]

Yes, Weebley. Sometimes your posts are quite esoteric. Can you explain this one to Toasterspark?

[I replied 7/8 @ 6:18am:]

xxxxxxx, this has The Forbin Project written all over it.

OK, xxxx, here we go . . .

Number 6, our first runner-up, is the story we are critiquing at the moment, as it is a spooky parallel to real life, whatever that is [we can create new worlds with writing]. Well written, once the word engine begins to chug away [my subconscious must have been telling me to remember the Rapide?*]. . . but the turn of a phrase, a missed opportunity for a direction change at a seemingly random, uncontrolled and innocuous crossroad [I wouldn't have had a dead woman, a sex only wish, or suicide as key points]; taking an easily negotiated deke at the wishbone segue [the sex act], rather than picking the noblesse oblique and challenging Starsky & Hutch manoeuvre [if you do include a wrong move, get out of it gracefully]; an unrecognized primal urge to not slow to a crawl and see the point of convergence of the path less travelled [slow down and don't just go with the first thing that comes to mind - weed out porn], but keeping the pedal to the metal at any cost, veering into the spacebar, stuck in the carriage, never to return . . . . a Warm Leatherette ending . . . so sad [why would he not re-write the past and solve the dead woman thing as maybe . . . she was unconscious?]. He could have changed the world! [see above about writing the future - it does actually happen] Maybe a re-write will change everything . . . we can only hope he springs for an eternal ending [and give that suitcase full of money to xxxx xxxxxx - everyone in Ireland will benefit].

*I left my Aston Martin Rapide at Tara, and it has been hifed by Donn, The Druidic Father Of Ireland - fargin' bastage!