Guys/Ladies - Would You Consider Dating A Partner Who's On The Dole??

SharpshooterTom

Guys/Ladies, would you consider dating a partner who's constantly on the dole?

I'm not talking about highly skilled men/women who are made redundant, looking to get back into work etc. But guys and girls who aren't very career orientated, take life a bit more easily and who are on the dole for long periods, maybe do some part time work at best.

I mean some might say that a spouse not caring about money or careers is an attraction. Or do you prefer a person who is career driven?

Just curious, don't think it matters either way if you truely love someone. Or does it??

Depends how hot she was.

biko

Is she cute?

smash

If they've no goals, then no thanks.

omahaid

smash wrote: »

If they've no goals, then no thanks.

But any hole is a goal so ....

Ghandee

makes not one difference to me.

mauzo

I'm only 21 so you've described half the guys I know....

But no I wouldn't. I'd probably spend a lot of time resenting them sitting on their hole all day.

That said, if he was good looking I'd give him one. Maybe two depending...

ibarelycare

I would absolutely not be able to be in a relationship with someone who had no goals or ambitions. It's so frustrating.

My current boyfriend and my ex were on the dole for a while, and it is tough, but they were both actively seeking work so it's not like they were sitting on their holes doing nothing.

It's also difficult when the person who does has money wants to do stuff like go on holidays, or even just go out for dinner or a few drinks.

In the longer term, I'd have to think about the fact that I'd like to travel when I'm older, and live a comfortable enough and fun life. There's no way I'd be able to do that with a partner who is happy to spend their life on the dole.

Nothingbetter2d

it would make no odds for me... if she was good looking, not one of those fake tanned, tracksuit wearing "aniha" brigade women i'd give her a good rogering

Fiona

I think if they were actively seeking work then it would not be a problem, sitting around all day doing nothing would not sit well with me.

TeddyTedson

Its still cheaper than prostitutes isn't it.

Micky Dolenz

yeah, of course.

Battered Mars Bar

If a girl is on the dole and doesn't have any 3rd level education and hasn't any significant employment within the last few years then no, she isn't good enough for me no matter how hot she think she is. :rolleyes:

af_thefragile

As long as she's cute and a nice person, why not?

Micky Dolenz

Battered Mars Bar wrote: »

If a girl is on the dole and doesn't have any 3rd level education and hasn't any significant employment within the last few years then no, she isn't good enough for me no matter how hot she think she is. :rolleyes:

It's dating, you don't have to marry this one :P

Fizzlesque

Constantly on the dole? No, I wouldn't consider dating such a person.

I've been on the dole plenty of times (years ago I was constantly being fired or having to leave jobs because the employer was deranged, or being let go because there was no more work etc) so it's not that I'm judgemental about people spending some time on the dole, but I also know how restricting it is to be broke all the time and then there's the apathy and depression that comes from having no focus or reason to get up, dressed and out of the house.

So, that's a no from me.

My name is URL

would you consider dating a partner who's constantly on the dole?

Whose partner?

Battered Mars Bar

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

It's dating, you don't have to marry this one :P

What's the point in dating someone if they're not marraige material

you mean a f**kbuddy? no they've to be of a higher standard too now :pac:

phasers

Doesn't really bother me if someone isn't working, people can have other interests outside their career. But I think if they had absolutely no motivation towards anything, even hobbies or sport or something, then I don't think they'd be a very enjoyable person to be around.

DrumSteve

Why would it make a difference?

Fenian Army

Lots of people have goals or ambitions that don't involve paid employment.

hondasam

what's more important the person or what they work at? People with high standards are often lonely people.

harney

Leave her at home all day with the Kama Sutra. Ask her to show you what she's learned when you get home. Crisis averted.

Bipolar Joe

Yeah. Partly because it's really tough knowing what it is you want to do in life, but mostly because I'm lonely and beggars can't be choosers.

Nothingbetter2d

Battered Mars Bar wrote: »

What's the point in dating someone if they're not marraige material

you mean a f**kbuddy? no they've to be of a higher standard too now :pac:

i don't ever want to get married. im sure im not the only one either.

ibarelycare

hondasam wrote: »

what's more important the person or what they work at? People with high standards are often lonely people.

Being on the dole isn't working.

Also, wanting someone to not be on the dole or to have some sort of career goal is NOT a high standard.

hondasam

ibarelycare wrote: »

Being on the dole isn't working.

Also, wanting someone to not be on the dole or to have some sort of career goal is NOT a high standard.

I agree on the dole is not working.

In other words you want them to want what you decide they should want.

The Big Red Button

I wouldn't rule out dating someone who's on the dole.

It's just not something that would initially attract me to the person.

I'm young, I'm hardly loaded myself, but I want to be able to go out and do fun stuff with the person I'm going out with. If they're on the dole, it generally means that they'll be pretty tight on funds, so chances are they're not going to be on for going out all that much.

Put it this way - if I met someone who was on the dole, and totally fell head over heels for them - the fact that they were on the dole wouldn't make me end things with them.

However ... I do value independence, it's pretty important to me. I get that a lot of people are on the dole for reasons outside of their control, and if the person was doing all that they could to actively seek employment, then I'd be OK with that. But I don't think I could go out with someone who was totally happy to sit at home on their arse all day every day, and get paid for that.

judgefudge

The guy I'm seeing is a student with a part time job and I find that hard enough to deal with. He's obviously ambitious so that's grand but he never has enough money to do anything... it can be a bit of a drag...

I'd imagine if the person I was seeing was in that kind of position (money was tight) but didn't care enough to try and improve their situation then resentment would build....

so no.

DaveNoCheese

hondasam wrote: »

ibarelycare wrote: »

Being on the dole isn't working.

Also, wanting someone to not be on the dole or to have some sort of career goal is NOT a high standard.

I agree on the dole is not working.

In other words you want them to want what you decide they should want.

Where did you pull that from?

Basically if they have a goal or know what they want to do in life and are working towards it then it's fine.

If they are happy to remain on dole and drink / piss away their life, whats the point in dating someone like that?

ibarelycare

hondasam wrote: »

I agree on the dole is not working.

In other words you want them to want what you decide they should want.

I can't make head nor tail of that sentence Ambition is a trait I think is important in a partner. If they don't want to do anything with their life then I'm not going to try and change them, I just won't be interested.

The Big Red Button

hondasam wrote: »

what's more important the person or what they work at? People with high standards are often lonely people.

Personally, I have a huge family, and plenty of very good friends.

I'm not lonely when I'm single. And I'm never going to compromise my standards for the sake of getting a boyfriend.

Ambition isn't hugely important to me in a partner - but independence is. Which is why I would far rather be with someone who was financially independent (what their job title was really wouldn't matter too much to me.)

(Unless they were a gigilo or something. :P )

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

Yeah. Partly because it's really tough knowing what it is you want to do in life, but mostly because I'm lonely and beggars can't be choosers.

It's fine not knowing what you want to do in life. I don't know what I want to do in life.

But I sure as hell am not going to sit at home on my arse while I try to make up my mind. I'm actively pursuing a career path, it mightn't be the right one for me long-term, but it's something. And it keeps me busy and pays the bills for the time being.

petes

I'd consider it. Sure, why not? I haven't had a ride in a while!!

Battered Mars Bar

Nothingbetter2d wrote: »

i don't ever want to get married. im sure im not the only one either.

Well I do so there's another deal breaker for BMB

Nothingbetter2d

Battered Mars Bar wrote: »

Well I do so there's another deal breaker for BMB

i bet you have wedding magazines already and watch bridezilla and my big fat gypsy wedding for ideas

krudler

someone who just sits on their hole doing nothing and watching tv getting social welfare, hell no.

someone who was made redundant, or between work or a student but has something to work towards, wouldnt bother me. not having a lot of money to do stuff in the early stages of a relationship can be a balls, been there, but its not a dealbreaker.

Shryke

If their interests or hobbies didn't line up with a wealthy life style I wouldn't care.
If they were lazy or shiftless then no. I would probably respect someone more for following their pursuits even if that meant a rougher life.

Conall Cernach

smash wrote: »

If they've no goals, then no thanks.

Having no job or not particularly wanting a regular type one doesn't mean someone has no goals. They could be writing a great novel or be in a band struggling to break through but needing the support that the dole gives (Rock n roller welfare).

shopaholic01

A long timer that never bothered to work - NO

Another point worth mentioning - I earn well above the average wage, but unfortunately have a bitch of a mortgage. When you factor in pay cuts and increased taxation, I'm not left with a huge amount of disposable income:(.

I think a lot of people have a problem with the notion of someone being on the dole, as well as the financial aspect.


More men lost employment during the recession. and I think that this has a devastating effect on their self confidence and self worth.

shopaholic01

Conall Cernach wrote: »

Having no job or not particularly wanting a regular type one doesn't mean someone has no goals. They could be writing a great novel or be in a band struggling to break through but needing the support that the dole gives (Rock n roller welfare).

How many become published authors or commercially successful rock stars though. That's fine when you're a navel-gazing teenager, but pretty pathetic as an adult.

Battered Mars Bar

Nothingbetter2d wrote: »

i bet you have wedding magazines already and watch bridezilla and my big fat gypsy wedding for ideas

I watch big fat gypsy wedding for inspiration alright :pac: Some them weddings do be well classy.

Abi

Gnobe wrote: »

. But guys and girls who aren't very career orientated, take life a bit more easily and who are on the dole for long periods, maybe do some part time work at best.

Part time work would at least be something, but for someone quite happy to sit on the dole for life and expect the tax payers to support them would do my fūcking head in.

There's a few sorts near where I live that have never worked a day in their lives, and I think they are both scum and a leech to society. Not working shouldn't be something you CHOOSE to do, unless there's something standing in the way of it.

So no, I would not be happy with someone who had no goals in life, and was quite happy to be on the dole.

shopaholic01

Battered Mars Bar wrote: »

Well I do so there's another deal breaker for BMB

Funny, from your posts I imagined you to be a slighty disillusioned 'been there, done that' type of guy. Now I think you're younger than I imagined:)

Katgurl

Absolutely not unless there was a damn good reason for it - severe health problems / caring for a sick parent. Lazy, self-entitled people hold no appeal for me.

Now someone who is studying or is actively looking for a job is another story.

As for writing a novel or whatever- this can be done around work, the state shouldn't have to financially support your aspirations.

mackg

Serious talent down the dole office today now that you mention it...

Battered Mars Bar

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Funny, from your posts I imagined you to be a slighty disillusioned 'been there, done that' type of guy. Now I think you're younger than I imagined:)

Mid 20's, I assumed people would've thought I was 14 from most of my posts

Teyla Emmagan

No, I wouldn't want to be with someone who had no goals or ambitions. I can't imagine how boring they would be! I wouldn't need someone necessarily to be career driven, just to be working towards something in their lives.

shopaholic01

Battered Mars Bar wrote: »

Mid 20's, I assumed people would've thought I was 14 from most of my posts

No, I would definitely have thought older:D. That's not an insult btw, so please don't be offended.

summerskin

No, because I don't find women in pyjamas attractive.

mackg

summerskin wrote: »

No, because I don't find women in pyjamas attractive.

That really depends on what kind of "pyjamas" we're talking about!:pac:

Fussy Eater

Ambition? Goals? Pah! Is it worth the aggravation to find yourself a job when there's nothing worth working for? It's a crazy situation but all I need are the simple pleasures of cigarettes and alcohol. Ultimately you could wait for a lifetime to spend your days in the sunshine - when all you really might as well do are a few white lines. And all funded by the dole of course...