Guys/Ladies - Would You Consider Dating A Partner Who's On The Dole??

oxo_

...waiting for the day when all the career driven arselickers are made redundant, have no jobs, can't find another job, partner leaves them, can't get their hole anymore, have no kids to carry on their legacy and die alone - a sad pathetic selfish life left behind them, but hey, they were made a box packing team leader manager once after kissing so much arse and after spongeing off that state for their college education in the first place.
Oh no, I mentioned the unmentionable spongeing off the state coffers for your education, lucky I didn't mention the dole.
Neigh neigh high horse slow down...

Shryke

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Conall Cernach wrote: »

Having no job or not particularly wanting a regular type one doesn't mean someone has no goals. They could be writing a great novel or be in a band struggling to break through but needing the support that the dole gives (Rock n roller welfare).

How many become published authors or commercially successful rock stars though. That's fine when you're a navel-gazing teenager, but pretty pathetic as an adult.

I would call it brave knowing the odds. With your attitude nobody would ever do anything worth while.
Calling someone pathetic for trying to achieve their dream, that's just lovely.

shopaholic01

Shryke wrote: »

I would call it brave knowing the odds. With your attitude nobody would ever do anything worth while.
Calling someone pathetic for trying to achieve their dream, that's just lovely.

No, I didn't mean it like that. If an adult in their 30/40's has never worked because they are waiting to make it - that's patethic. Working part/full time to support your dream, that's fine. Living on the dole all your life waiting for your big break is sad.

If you haven't make as a rock star before you're 30 it's unlikey to happen.
Spending your life writing a novel - if it takes that long to write one, you're never going to support yourself financially.


By all means chase your dreams, but pay your way as you're doing it.

The King of Moo

I wouldn't be attracted to someone with no ambition on the dole. I'd assume they were quite boring if they were content to do nothing all day.

Similarly, I wouldn't be attracted to someone who was totally career driven, at the expense of doing anything else in their life. They'd seem just as boring, unless they also loved their job.

What's most important to me is that a person enjoys, or tries to enjoy, their life.
I'd have no problem going out with someone in a minimum-wage job that they loved, or were not entirely enamoured with their job but made the most of their life outside of it.
Having some goal in life, even as simple as enjoying it as much as possible, is important to me. That goal just doesn't have to be a career-based one.

The money really doesn't come into it with me. Money's great, sure, but my partner's and my own happiness would always come first if there were ever a conflict.
And I'm quite low maintenance (boring) so I don't need a lot of money and don't put too much stock in a big salary.

At the moment I'm doing a fulfilling, interesting job that earns below the average industrial wage for now, but I really enjoy it, work hard at it and see that hard work appreciated. Down the line, if I stay with it, I'll earn more, but it'll never make me rich. I don't care though.
I could also do some other work that I'm technically qualified for and would eventually earn me more money if I really applied myself to it. But that work would also make me deeply unhappy and drive me crazy, so I'll always go for the work I enjoy when I can.

Basically:
I wouldn't be attracted to someone who lost track of finding a fulfilling life either due to laziness or a singular devotion to their career ambitions.
And the money wouldn't be much of an issue at all.

PucaMama

Gnobe wrote: »

Guys/Ladies, would you consider dating a partner who's constantly on the dole?

I'm not talking about highly skilled men/women who are made redundant, looking to get back into work etc. But guys and girls who aren't very career orientated, take life a bit more easily and who are on the dole for long periods, maybe do some part time work at best.

I mean some might say that a spouse not caring about money or careers is an attraction. Or do you prefer a person who is career driven?

Just curious, don't think it matters either way if you truely love someone. Or does it??

this.

also we are in a time where many people are unemployed and more jobs are lost every day. people have enough to be upset about without hearing others say they are not good enuf because they lost their job.

makes no difference to me anyway, ive a lovely boyfriend.

Agricola

In summary;

Men: "Of course, as long as she's hot I wouldnt care if she was an intinerant Nazi sympathizing, kitten drowning uber bitch....."

Women: "Not a hope. Im an independent woman n' all, but If my man can't get himself a well paid job and treat me like the princess I am, then he aint no kinda man, suga!"

/thread

Abi

Agricola wrote: »

In summary;

Men: "Of course, as long as she's hot I wouldnt care if she was an intinerant Nazi sympathizing, kitten drowning uber bitch....."

Not all the men here have said that, and I've more respect for the ones that said they wouldn't put up with a lazy woman.

Women: "Not a hope. Im an independent woman n' all, but If my man can't get himself a well paid job and treat me like the princess I am, then he aint no kinda man, suga!"

/thread

Don't stir it up. Most women would rather work, and it's not unfair to have a preference for a partner that works and has ambitions too.

mackg

Yes I would, I would be her relieving officer.

tigerblob

No. I wouldn't start dating someone who was on the dole.
You can't help who you fall in love with, but you can help who you go out with. So if you only go out with rich people, you'll only fall in love with rich people!

Steven81

I would only be with someone who is about the same as me, ended up with the wife. I dont think i would have anything in common with someone who would be on the dole long term out of their own choice, would be grand at start but cracks would start appearing after a while.

df1985

I was unemployed for ages through no choice of my own actively seeking work etc. immediate turn off for some despite circumstance. was very frustrating.

but now i know who the gold diggers are now that im doing pretty good for myself!

I'd go out with someone who was on the dole.

Similarly, I'd go out with someone who had no huge career goals.

But they would have to want to work to live off their own money and while not looking for work they would have to be a happy and pro-active person.

Peetrik

I couldn't go out with someone who's only interest was in money, either in how much I make or they make.

In fact I generally find people who define themselves by their 'career' or how much money they make very very boring.

Fizzlesque

Agricola wrote: »

In summary;

Men: "Of course, as long as she's hot I wouldnt care if she was an intinerant Nazi sympathizing, kitten drowning uber bitch....."

Women: "Not a hope. Im an independent woman n' all, but If my man can't get himself a well paid job and treat me like the princess I am, then he aint no kinda man, suga!"

/thread

See, I don't think that's a fair summary. The opening post asked if someone was 'constantly' on the dole. The word 'constantly' is what I reflected upon, and it had nothing to do with expecting a man to treat me like a princess, or needing a well paid job. My feelings on the subject are based on my own experiences of being out of work (for longer than a short while) as well as seeing the effects (longer than a short while) unemployment has had on friends of mine (some men, some women).

Granted, it won't affect everyone the same way, but long term unemployment (without studies, or volunteering, or a novel to write, or a band to nurture etc) can slowly eat away at a person's drive and desire to do anything. It doesn't take long before you're sleeping a lot more than you need, eating rubbish food, drinking to fill your time, having to turn down invitations to meet friends because (a) you've no money and (b) because you've nothing to say and/or apathy has clouded your mind and taken the shine off something as simple as meeting for lunch to catch up on each other's news (which the unemployed person might not have a whole lot of).

I'm not one of life's 'career gals'. I make enough, from my simple job, to eat, pay my mortgage, feed my cats, go dancing once in a while, have credit in my phone so I can call a friend or my family from time to time, meet a friend for lunch/coffee, buy some pretty clothes; all very simple things, but the times those simple things have been out of reach for me, life's sparkle has dimmed, and dimmed some more, and then dimmed even more, until I start to think they have no value and letting each day drift on by, as empty as the previous one, doesn't strike me as odd.

Then, when they're back in reach, I rediscover how very valuable those simple things actually are.

I accept there are people for whom endless days of doing nothing pose no threat to their mental and emotional health, but I don't believe it's the case for the majority. The opening post asked if we would date someone who is constantly on the dole; that's not the same as still loving the person we love when they've been on the dole for a long time (for whatever reason). I also accept that 'being on the dole' doesn't automatically translate into 'never doing anything' but for many it eventually does.

So, to try stop a long post becoming a ridiculously long post, I'll finish my rant with this: my reasons for not being keen on someone who is 'constantly' on the dole are based on their mindset, their desire to broaden their horizons (not their bank balance) and because depression is a very real thing that effects lots of people; as one who has suffered her fair share, I know how debilitating having no focus can be.

I know some men believe women are only interested in a man's money (and, yes, some women are) but it's wholly untrue and unfair to conclude all that all women care about is how much money a man can spend on them. Some of us actually care about the man himself, his happiness and emotional and mental well-being. It's true, I promise you

[p.s. my apologies if you were simply giving an after-hours style response, and got caught up in my ramblesque tendencies, but I find it really irritating when I reflect upon the fact some selfish/greedy women have given the rest a bad name that we neither deserve or have invited by our own actions]

And....at ease.....I'm finally finished

Abi

Peetrik wrote: »

I couldn't go out with someone who's only interest was in money, either in how much I make or they make.

While I agree that people that define themselves on what they do or the money they make are nothing short of crude, that is not really what this thread is about.

What is being asked here is, would you see someone who basically won't get up off their hole and work, or would you quite happily see someone who is milking the system with no intention of ever standing on their own two feet and earn a wage.


There are a lot of people in this country who are desperate for work, out of it through no fault of their own. Then there are the kind that roll out of bed whatever time the choose to and no doubt spend the day arsing about watching TV, on the internet all day etc.

I think most of us have at one point or another been out of work for a period of time, and it's soul destroying. Anyone actively avoiding work should be thrown off SW payments, and more so because of the financial disaster this country is in.

Abi

Fizzlesque wrote: »

[p.s. my apologies if you were simply giving an after-hours style response

I considered the fact that it might have been an AH response but decided to reply on a serious note, because I've seen a lot of that attitude in AH before. One could only hope that it was an AH type post..

hooradiation

Why the fuck would that matter?

Mr Benevolent

Meh, I was constantly on the dole and my girlfriend still loved me.We wouldn't have moved in together if I hadn't got a job though.

dermiek

Wouldn't bother me.


But when we go to bed, the first sign of a headache...

Bad Panda

It wouldn't bother me, unless that's all they wanted to do.

The amount of people here banging on about ambition, I wonder just how successful/comfortable you are, because unless you're in a position to financially (money is important I don't care what you say - it enables a life you couldn't not want) to support a family on your own, I wouldn't call you ambitious/successful.

Just my .2c.

Johro

Battered Mars Bar wrote: »

If a girl is on the dole and doesn't have any 3rd level education and hasn't any significant employment within the last few years then no, she isn't good enough for me no matter how hot she think she is. :rolleyes:

Send 'em to me. I don't feel superior.

Logical Fallacy

smash wrote: »

If they've no goals, then no thanks.

People can have goals unrelated to working though.

Like regularly drinking 6 cans before 4pm.

That's a goal.

Johro

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

People can have goals unrelated to working though.

Like regularly drinking 6 cans before 4pm.

That's a goal.

Somebody buy that man a pint. I'm skint.

Battered Mars Bar

Johro wrote: »

Send 'em to me. I don't feel superior.

Neither do I but I date wimmenz roughly my age, so if she didn't take advantage of education opportunities during the good times or had employment...which was the intended jist of my post then I really don't see how she would be a suitable partner for me. Jeesh, that isn't asking for a lot like

starlit

It depends on the person but to be honest I wouldn't care at this stage as anyone could be on the dole.

Before, I be more concerned that they have a job. Now, for me its more how educated a person is would matter to me more than them having a job in this recession, having a job in this recession is not guaranteed any more so I be understandable about dating someone who is on the dole as I am still looking for work myself so I would understand where that person is coming from.

Richard Hillman

In fairness to the ladies, their humanistic instinct is to go for somebody who can protect their young and themselves. The more evolved women go for people with financial wealth and the less evolved are attracted to the more primitive man with big muscles etc. Men go for women who look healthy enough to bear young i.e good looking women.

eth0

Dole = Less stressed and more time for sex

PrincessLola

Only if he plans on searching for a job/furthering his education i.e if he has plans for the future. But to be fair I think the majority of people on the dole would rather be in employment.

Agricola wrote: »

In summary;

Men: "Of course, as long as she's hot I wouldnt care if she was an intinerant Nazi sympathizing, kitten drowning uber bitch....."

Women: "Not a hope. Im an independent woman n' all, but If my man can't get himself a well paid job and treat me like the princess I am, then he aint no kinda man, suga!"

/thread

Sit down, you're embarrassing yourself.

Smidge

eth0 wrote: »

Dole = Less stressed and more time for sex

Dole = No Money = More Stress = No interest in sex due to said stress

Peetrik

Abi wrote: »

While I agree that people that define themselves on what they do or the money they make are nothing short of crude, that is not really what this thread is about.

The questiong being asked is 'would you date someone who's on the dole". In the current financial climate with many being out of work through no choice of their own, them being on the dole is not an accurate reflection of either work ethic or the persons desire to be independant, it is only a reflection of their current financial status.
To use them being on the dole as a benchmark as to wether you would consider dating them or not is about money IMO.

Nothingbetter2d

mishkalucy wrote: »

Dole = No Money = More Stress = No interest in sex due to said stress

not strictly true... i know loads of long term dole women that love sex..... you can tell by the large number of kids they got

Agricola

PrincessLola wrote: »

Only if he plans on searching for a job/furthering his education i.e if he has plans for the future. But to be fair I think the majority of people on the dole would rather be in employment.




Sit down, you're embarrassing yourself.

Get back in the kitchen love, you're embarrassing yourself. And do me a rasher sangich while you're in there

Varied

It might seem like some people don't care in here but the real world is very different.

When I had to leave home I spent a good year and a half on the dole, I had no idea what I wanted to do and all I did was eat and sleep. People were plain nasty, ESP girls you get chatting with, some were very cutting and would sneer at you.

When I got around to getting a job I haven't stopped since and couldn't imagine getting the dole anymore, but I will always remember not to judge a person based on what they earn or their future goals.

It may have taken me a year and a half, but it takes some a lot longer than others. It might have taken me a lot less time if people were more supportive instead of analysing and judging me.

PrincessLola

Agricola wrote: »

Get back in the kitchen love, you're embarrassing yourself. And do me a rasher sangich while you're in there

http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/65495_700b.jpg

Abi

Peetrik wrote: »

To use them being on the dole as a benchmark as to wether you would consider dating them or not is about money IMO.

Thats how you choose to see it though. I expect it may be about money for some, but for me choosing not to work screams lazy cúnt. There is nothing remotely attractive about someone who sits around on their hole all day.

PC CDROM

Do they do Anal?

--LOS--

Being on the dole or not is not an issue. Would I be with someone who hasn't even bothered with education, is happy to sponge off others, has zero ambition, no probably not.

Magenta

I have a friend who has been happily sitting on his hole for 3 years now.
Dropped out of college and that was that. He's 25 and lives with his parents, spends all day playing video games.

His excuses, despite NEVER applying ANYWHERE for ANY kind of work, are either "oh there's a recession, there's no jobs" (despite the fact he lives in a tourist town full of hotels and bars that hire his friends) or "I won't get hired cos of my facial piercings, I'm not taking my piercings out for some stupid job, my piercings are who I am". I don't know how his gf sticks him. Before he met her, he asked me out and it was a big part of the reason why I said no.

Pedant

Someone who lost their job and are genuinely making the effort to look for a new job and people who've just graduated from college? Yes.

Someone who's been lying around on the dole for years and years, with no ambition and hasn't made the effort to make something of themselves? No.

Deus Ex Machina

Yeah I'd fuçking go out with any fuçking yoke, do you hear me? Any fućking yoke, ja hear me? Any fuçking yoke, ja hear me? Any fuçking yoke, ja hear me? Any fuçking yoke, ja hear me? Any fuçking yoke, ja hear me? DO YOU CÙNTIN FUÇKING HEAR ME? JA HEAR ME??? ANY FUĆKING YOKE!!!!!

mickrock

No, she'd have to have a good job.

Of course, I'd stay on the dole.

Alessandra

As long as they were actively seeking employment then sure.

Pedant

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

Yeah I'd fuçking go out with any fuçking yoke, do you hear me? Any fućking yoke, ja hear me? Any fuçking yoke, ja hear me? Any fuçking yoke, ja hear me? Any fuçking yoke, ja hear me? Any fuçking yoke, ja hear me? DO YOU CÙNTIN FUÇKING HEAR ME? JA HEAR ME??? ANY FUĆKING YOKE!!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pJfMAm_84w

RoverZT

If I was rich and she was a nice girl I wouldn't care.

Working is something ous monkeys have been brainwashed into.

Deus Ex Machina

Pedant wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pJfMAm_84w

You're actually a genius.

Nothingbetter2d

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

You're actually a genius.

this song for is you

pay attention

Vicar in a tutu

Call me crazy.. but I tend to go for men because of who they are, not how much they make or if they have a job! , as long as he's a good person and im attracted to him it doesnt matter:D

kowloon

Battered Mars Bar wrote: »

If a girl is on the dole and doesn't have any 3rd level education and hasn't any significant employment within the last few years then no, she isn't good enough for me no matter how hot she think she is. :rolleyes:

+1, I also check up with the college to ensure their degree is a 2:1 or better. The successful applicant would also have 3 years experience. I only recruit the highest quality candidates into this couple.

mickrock

Most people on the dole long-term are surely following Aristotles' maxim that all paid work absorbs and degrades the mind.

They probably have also considered Oscar Wilde's idea that work is the refuge of those who have nothing better to do.

Arbeit Macht Frei!