Problems with 18mth year old crying

pprendeville

We have 3 kids under 3 yrs old, all girls. Having a few issues with the one in the middle. She's actually 2 in November. Eldest is 3 in August and youngest is 10 weeks. Middle one has taken to the newborn very well and is not put out. Sleeps pretty well. Lots of rivalry with the older one however. Recently she's been crying a lot during the day and not eating too well. Thinking it's teething but it seems to be going on a bit now. More concerned about her diet to be honest. Up to 3 weeks ago she was eating all round her but now she's gone the opposite dirction and only picking and choosing. Any advice. Info is a bit vagaue but can offer more but not sure what to offer if you get me.

Ayla

Wow, 3 under 3. You've got to be tired :eek:

My first impression was that perhaps the kids are at each other & acting up out of a sense of competition. I'm sure it's not easily done, but have you had any chance to give exclusive 1 on 1 time with each child on their own? So that they each have Mom/Dad all to themselves for 5-10 mins a day? I know - easier said than done - but I don't think it's possible to overrate the importance of this in a child's eye.

If the middle child is feeling slighted (whether or not it's justified) they will act out in any way possible - fighting with siblings & becoming fussy over food are two acts of control to an otherwise powerless child.

January

Ayla wrote: »

Wow, 3 under 3. You've got to be tired :eek:

My first impression was that perhaps the kids are at each other & acting up out of a sense of competition. I'm sure it's not easily done, but have you had any chance to give exclusive 1 on 1 time with each child on their own? So that they each have Mom/Dad all to themselves for 5-10 mins a day? I know - easier said than done - but I don't think it's possible to overrate the importance of this in a child's eye.

If the middle child is feeling slighted (whether or not it's justified) they will act out in any way possible - fighting with siblings & becoming fussy over food are two acts of control to an otherwise powerless child.

This, you really need to spend more time with each of them individually. Even if it's just 10 extra minutes having an extra cuddle/story at bed time or when the baby is napping.

At around this age also, they start to try to exercise the fact that they have some independence and the one thing they can control is food.

pprendeville

noted spending time with each individually if only for a short time. cheers.

bulmersgal

pprendeville wrote: »

noted spending time with each individually if only for a short time. cheers.

My daughter 26 months had terrible time wit teeth and was like that picking and choosing for weeks then she'd go back to asking for more please after every meal. I wouldn't worry to much, once the food she is getting is good. Also I remember reading once that around that age they stop growing so don't need so much food

pwurple

Any temp or anything? Whinging and off her food is how mine reacts to throat infections and the like.

caprilicious

My 25 month old was the very same after her little brother arrived 8 weeks ago.
It is easing off now & her appetite is returning, she's also crying & acting upa lot less.
I think it's a difficult adjustment for some children not being the baby any more.

cbyrd

Most likely if not teething then its the fact she's not the baby anymore.. maybe have her 'help' more .. let her hold the baby and cuddle her.. my little lad was 21 months when his brother arrived and i let him hold him (i was actually doing the holding) and they bonded really well.. we had no jealousy thank god ..it was one of the things i was dreading.. and still when he passes by him he kisses the top of his head..
Never underestimate how even though they are so small it's a huge adjustment for them too.. getting them involved in the care creates a bond. .
Hope it helps . .

pprendeville

pwurple wrote: »

Any temp or anything? Whinging and off her food is how mine reacts to throat infections and the like.

no temperature. she's quitened down last few days a bit. i gues its a phase albeit not a very nice one.

pprendeville

cbyrd wrote: »

Most likely if not teething then its the fact she's not the baby anymore.. maybe have her 'help' more .. let her hold the baby and cuddle her.. my little lad was 21 months when his brother arrived and i let him hold him (i was actually doing the holding) and they bonded really well.. we had no jealousy thank god ..it was one of the things i was dreading.. and still when he passes by him he kisses the top of his head..
Never underestimate how even though they are so small it's a huge adjustment for them too.. getting them involved in the care creates a bond. .
Hope it helps . .

Brought 2 eldest down to Tesco this evening and on the way out I got oldest to hold middle ones hand. I must say it was very cute. I saw a 10 year old in a car say to her Mam "ah look Ma" in that great Finglas accent. Made my heart melt to see another child appreciate something as simple as 2 small children holding hands. It's the simple things...tomorrow morning I'm sure they'll be beating the heads off each other.

January

pprendeville wrote: »

Brought 2 eldest down to Tesco this evening and on the way out I got oldest to hold middle ones hand. I must say it was very cute. I saw a 10 year old in a car say to her Mam "ah look Ma" in that great Finglas accent. Made my heart melt to see another child appreciate something as simple as 2 small children holding hands. It's the simple things...tomorrow morning I'm sure they'll be beating the heads off each other.

It's so cute to see them holding hands and showing affection to each other in that way. My oldest two have started to squabble over toys (they're 3 and 2) and it is hard but when they love each other and show each other how they love each other it's the most amazing thing to see.

Glad to hear that things are quietening down. It's always going to be an issue when you have children so close together that jealousy will come up if you don't involve the others or spend time with them separately. They don't realise that a small baby needs loads of attention and as far as they are concerned they think then the baby is better.

Acting out is a way of looking for attention because to them, any attention is good attention and you're more likely to pay it to them if they're doing "naughty" things.

pprendeville

amazing the way the mind of a child works