Do women have all the power...

Daveysil15

When it comes to dating and sex? Do they hold the cards and do you think it varies from place to place? Obviously its different in places like the middle east where men have all the power, but can it be equal?

christmas2012

no i dont think women or men ''have all the power'' it depends on the personalities and characters of the individuals and the situation at hand..

Gummy Panda

First they give the belly rub, then they get the power

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Daveysil15 wrote: »

When it comes to dating and sex? Do they hold the cards and do you think it varies from place to place? Obviously its different in places like the middle east where men have all the power, but can it be equal?

No. Try flirting with two girls on the same night in front of each other and see what happens.

keithb93

I was in a night club in galway one night and my friend just shouted out (drunkenly) "the women have the power" and stormed home

The King of Moo

No they don't.

One might argue that women have slightly more power in terms of one-night stands as there's still more of an expectation on men to approach women, but this expectation is nowhere near as strong as it used to be.

In fact, one might equally argue that this gives men slightly more power, as they're choosing the women who will then get to choose. These women can only choose to accept or reject the men who approach them. But if they're all ugly eejits and the men of their dreams are sitting quietly to the side, then what kind of power is that?

But like I said, this only applies to one-night stands and the expectation isn't so strong anymore.

Why would someone think of the dating game as a discourse of power anyway? That seems unhealthy to me, and a negative way of looking at something that should be positive.

It seems like it's the usual "men are more discriminated against these days" attitude from a minority of insecure men who seem like they'd prefer we were back in the 50s in terms of gender relations.

*Ctrl-c's in case this thread has been locked since I started my post*

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

Daveysil15

FizzleSticks wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

How would that give men the power though? It's up to the women to accept or reject him.

The King of Moo

Daveysil15 wrote: »

How would that give men the power though? It's up to the women to accept or reject him.

But the men decide which women get to accept or reject them.

If you're a woman who waits for men to approach you and no-one does approach you, then what power do you have?

Logical Fallacy

Daveysil15 wrote: »

When it comes to dating and sex? Do they hold the cards and do you think it varies from place to place? Obviously its different in places like the middle east where men have all the power, but can it be equal?

It varies from person to person.

Oddly enough their level of success and dominance will then colour their opinion.

Doc Ruby

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

No. Try flirting with two girls on the same night in front of each other and see what happens.

They start a cat fight to see who gets to continue flirting, but in reality I make that decision based on their displays of athletic prowess and flexibility regardless of who wins?

Fizzlesque

Hey FizzleSticks, I just had the oddest half a second there, when I saw your name as the last poster and thought it was mine (Fizzlesque was previously Fizzlestix, on another board, for many years), even though I knew I hadn't posted. I've just finished watching The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and for the tiniest moment my brain couldn't compute what the hell was going on.... had my memory been erased

Regarding the OP, I think it's absurd to suggest women have all the power in the dating game. If they did, would there be lots and lots and lots of single women wishing they could find someone to get involved with?

Neither gender has all the power - I wish your opening post had been a bit more detailed, for example, what makes you think they do (if you think they do) and what you mean by 'power'.

Plenty of times there have been men I've liked who didn't like me back, or, at least, enough to want to see if we could have a relationship - and at other times I've been the one someone else liked but I didn't feel the same way.

Downlinz

Women under 30 hold all the cards, men hold the cards when with women over 30. Fact

tdv123

Well Andy Gray & Richard Keys have there way of keeping them in there place.

"Do us a favour love........"

Fizzlesque

Downlinz wrote: »

Women under 30 hold all the cards, men hold the cards when with women over 30. Fact

Dunno about that....my pulling power increased considerably in my thirties. My forties haven't been too bad either, so far (only a few years in at this stage). Looking young for my age probably helps but the confidence that comes with getting older definitely works wonders.

Jen Pigs Fly

Some women seem to think that having a vagina means they must get certain privileges - men must do what they say in order to get a bit of their magical vagina :rolleyes:

Daveysil15

The King of Moo wrote: »

But the men decide which women get to accept or reject them.

If you're a woman who waits for men to approach you and no-one does approach you, then what power do you have?

I'm not sure what you mean? How do the men get to decide who accepts and rejects them? And if the women are not been approached then they can do the approaching!

smurgen

Downlinz wrote: »

Women under 30 hold all the cards, men hold the cards when with women over 30. Fact

100% correct in my opinion

Madam_X

smurgen wrote: »

100% correct in my opinion

100% not true in reality. Strange the way such claims are made despite it varying from case to case.

Gummy Panda

xxxJennyxxx wrote: »

Some women seem to think that having a vagina means they must get certain privileges - men must do what they say in order to get a bit of their magical vagina :rolleyes:

Its magical?

The King of Moo

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I'm not sure what you mean? How do the men get to decide who accepts and rejects them? And if the women are not been approached then they can do the approaching!

You didn't give much detail in your OP so I assumed you were taking the common position which suggests that men are generally expected to approach women, with the women then having the power to accept or reject them.
But in such a (hypothetical) situation, while both genders have some power, it's the men who have the overall power as they approach women first, and those women then get to accept or reject the men. But first, the men must approach them, so the men have the primary power. If a women isn't approached, then she has no power to choose.

But like you say, those women can then go and approach men, which then grants those men the power to choose, but gives the women the greater power to choose.

But anyway, in reality, different individuals have different levels of power based on their personality, with gender not having anything to do with it.

djk1000

It really depends on the two people involved, you can't generalise. I've been on both sides and for the life of me still can't figure out how the dynamic was different!

I'll tell you one thing, I tend to like a woman more when I have to do a bit of pursuing.

Micky Dolenz

Daveysil15 wrote: »

When it comes to dating and sex? Do they hold the cards and do you think it varies from place to place? Obviously its different in places like the middle east where men have all the power, but can it be equal?

It is equal, to think any different is really a matter of self esteem.

midlandsmissus

The King of Moo wrote: »

But the men decide which women get to accept or reject them.

If you're a woman who waits for men to approach you and no-one does approach you, then what power do you have?

Exactly. Men think they have it hard in that they have to approach women.

But imagine if you're a pro-active woman who goes after the college she wants, the career she wants, but can't go after the man she wants, She doesn;t have much control, she has to sit back and wait for the man to approach her, as it is beat into us that men can't bear if you do the running and love the thrill of the chase.

So then there spawns a million articles in Cosmo and the likes on 'how to let men subtly know you like them without actually asking them out'. It's a lot of fecking work, you can't just simply go for what you want!

Stupid dating rules!

midlandsmissus

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I'm not sure what you mean? How do the men get to decide who accepts and rejects them? And if the women are not been approached then they can do the approaching!

But we are told by every kind of men and media source that men can't bear to not be the ones doing the running.

In fact I read a study the other day of couples sampled, and every successful lasting couple, the man had approached the woman. Something to do with the man being the hunter and wanting to work for his prize and feeling a sense of achievement. The women surveyed weren;t bothered and said they would like to be able to go for what they want but knew men didn't want that. It was the men ( these were all people in couples talking about how they got together) whom made a big deal of it, saying if it had had been the woman who had approached him it 'would have taken all the fun out of it' - was one common answer among lots.

Scanlas The 2nd

The King of Moo wrote: »

No they don't.

One might argue that women have slightly more power in terms of one-night stands as there's still more of an expectation on men to approach women, but this expectation is nowhere near as strong as it used to be.

In fact, one might equally argue that this gives men slightly more power, as they're choosing the women who will then get to choose. These women can only choose to accept or reject the men who approach them. But if they're all ugly eejits and the men of their dreams are sitting quietly to the side, then what kind of power is that?

But like I said, this only applies to one-night stands and the expectation isn't so strong anymore.

Why would someone think of the dating game as a discourse of power anyway? That seems unhealthy to me, and a negative way of looking at something that should be positive.

It seems like it's the usual "men are more discriminated against these days" attitude from a minority of insecure men who seem like they'd prefer we were back in the 50s in terms of gender relations.

*Ctrl-c's in case this thread has been locked since I started my post*

I'd say women choose most one night stands. They see a guy they want and they make him approach her. Sometimes they linger nearby and brush off the guy or they walk backwards into him etc etc

midlandsmissus

Downlinz wrote: »

Women under 30 hold all the cards, men hold the cards when with women over 30. Fact

I defo don't agree with that. Women reach their sexual peak in their early thirties and become much more confident. They're obv not going to get men in their 20's but alot of older men in 30s, 40s and 50s would still be very interested.

It's all about confidence. You gotta love yourself first and be happy with yourself no matter what age!

midlandsmissus

xxxJennyxxx wrote: »

Some women seem to think that having a vagina means they must get certain privileges - men must do what they say in order to get a bit of their magical vagina :rolleyes:

Where's the sisterhood Jenny, where's the sisterhood!

Jen Pigs Fly

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Its magical?

Some like to think so! :P

Daveysil15

midlandsmissus wrote: »

But we are told by every kind of men and media source that men can't bear to not be the ones doing the running.

I can't speak on behalf of all men, but I wouldn't mind the women doing the chasing every now and again. I'd be fine with that!

Jen Pigs Fly

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Where's the sisterhood Jenny, where's the sisterhood!

The Sister hood of the magical vagina of total power?

First you must master how to sign your name with your vagina! Get those pelvic floor muscles working :pac:

Scanlas The 2nd

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Downlinz wrote: »

Women under 30 hold all the cards, men hold the cards when with women over 30. Fact

I defo don't agree with that. Women reach their sexual peak in their early thirties and become much more confident. They're obv not going to get men in their 20's but alot of older men in 30s, 40s and 50s would still be very interested.

It's all about confidence. You gotta love yourself first and be happy with yourself no matter what age!

Women in their 20's can get those men too, fact of the matter is a woman's appearance is by far the most sexually attractive trait in a woman and it fades over time. Sure confidence and personality definitely adds to it but it doesn't have the power to bedazzle men that looks do.

Madam_X

midlandsmissus wrote: »

I defo don't agree with that. Women reach their sexual peak in their early thirties and become much more confident. They're obv not going to get men in their 20's but alot of older men in 30s, 40s and 50s would still be very interested.

It's all about confidence. You gotta love yourself first and be happy with yourself no matter what age!

Some men in their 20s too.

Daveysil15

Apparently there's 5 reasons why women have the power:

http://www.letstalkdatingonline.com/home/?single=5-reasons-why-women-have-all-the-power-and-dont-even-know-it

grindle

djk1000 wrote: »

It really depends on the two people involved, you can't generalise.

Of course you can generalise. Why can't you generalise?

In general, as somebody else said, up to the age of thirty, women get to choose who visits their vagina.
After thirty, men (protection presumed) get to withhold babies.
This doesn't mean that's what all people are like. It's a generalisation.

midlandsmissus

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Women in their 20's can get those men too, fact of the matter is a woman's appearance is by far the most sexually attractive trait in a woman and it fades over time. Sure confidence and personality definitely adds to it but it doesn't have the power to bedazzle men that looks do.

Eva Mendes, Heather Graham, Rachel McAdams, Katie Holmes, Katharine Heigl are all gorgeous and in their 30s.

Your looks don't fade in your thirties.

The original concept of women having less power in their 30's was because they were driven by their biological clock and the joke was usually that they were 'becoming desperate for any man'.

I really don't think this is true . With biological advancements women are having babies well into their forties, and a lot of women are getting into their stride in their careers at this stage and are more independant, and putting babies off for a while anyway.

Again it's all about confidence.

midlandsmissus

grindle wrote: »

Of course you can generalise. Why can't you generalise?

In general, as somebody else said, up to the age of thirty, women get to choose who visits their vagina.
After thirty, men (protection presumed) get to withhold babies.
This doesn't mean that's what all people are like. It's a generalisation.

Two words: sperm donor!!! They're not going to let every man into their vagina the minute they hit 30! Alot of women seem to be going the sperm donor route these days, much less hassle...

Jen Pigs Fly

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Apparently there's 5 reasons why women have the power:

http://www.letstalkdatingonline.com/home/?single=5-reasons-why-women-have-all-the-power-and-dont-even-know-it

To be honest I hate those type of lists - they all paint women to be virtuous, divine beings who NEVER think of sex, while all men want are to get you into bed.

where are the lists that deals with women who actually will sleep with you on the first/second meeting because she might just want to! :rolleyes:

Doc Ruby

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Sure confidence and personality definitely adds to it but it doesn't have the power to bedazzle men that looks do.

Good looks are great right up till she opens her mouth. Personality, confidence, these are everything. Give me a good craic slightly kinky "average" looking woman over a shriek of a supermodel any day of the week. Your brain is your biggest sex organ, if your partner can't engage it you've got nothing.

The King of Moo

xxxJennyxxx wrote: »

To be honest I hate those type of lists - they all paint women to be virtuous, divine beings who NEVER think of sex, while all men want are to get you into bed.

where are the lists that deals with women who actually will sleep with you on the first/second meeting because she might just want to! :rolleyes:

The Coppers Guest List?

Scanlas The 2nd

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Women in their 20's can get those men too, fact of the matter is a woman's appearance is by far the most sexually attractive trait in a woman and it fades over time. Sure confidence and personality definitely adds to it but it doesn't have the power to bedazzle men that looks do.

Eva Mendes, Heather Graham, Rachel McAdams, Katie Holmes, Katharine Heigl are all gorgeous and in their 30s.

Your looks don't fade in your thirties.

The original concept of women having less power in their 30's was because they were driven by their biological clock and the joke was usually that they were 'becoming desperate for any man'.

I really don't think this is true . With biological advancements women are having babies well into their forties, and a lot of women are getting into their stride in their careers at this stage and are more independant, and putting babies off for a while anyway.

Again it's all about confidence.

Generally speaking older women are less attractive therefore they have less power over men. Its as simple as that really.

Jen Pigs Fly

The King of Moo wrote: »

The Coppers Guest List?

I'm always at the top of that list :rolleyes:

but yea I'm being serious like all those '5 signs to tell he likes you' all imply that you're not going to sleep with him until you have the ring on your finger, it baffles and annoys me. Apparently women are not aloud to have sex drives :rolleyes: and men will only truely like you if you don't have sex with them.

I believe in trying the goods before I buy

midlandsmissus

Women have all the power, more power than You can imagine. Since puberty, we men have made 95% of our decisions based on the wishes of the holders of the Double Y Chromosome. How we dress, act, walk, talk, move, groove, work, jerk, excel, tell, joke, laugh, compete, and conquer relates to the golden pursuit…YOU.

That's from that link.....


Haha you have to love them being totally wrong, double X chromosome!

Jen Pigs Fly

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Women have all the power, more power than You can imagine. Since puberty, we men have made 95% of our decisions based on the wishes of the holders of the Double Y Chromosome. How we dress, act, walk, talk, move, groove, work, jerk, excel, tell, joke, laugh, compete, and conquer relates to the golden pursuit…YOU.

That's from that link.....


Haha you have to love them being totally wrong, double X chromosome!

Its a whole load of bull**** if you ask me

The King of Moo

xxxJennyxxx wrote: »

I'm always at the top of that list :rolleyes:

but yea I'm being serious like all those '5 signs to tell he likes you' all imply that you're not going to sleep with him until you have the ring on your finger, it baffles and annoys me. Apparently women are not aloud to have sex drives :rolleyes: and men will only truely like you if you don't have sex with them.

I believe in trying the goods before I buy

I know, I hate those types of lists. They make both men and women look bad, but they also make meeting people into some sort of negative thing where you have to trick or "conquer" the other person.
And sadly lots of people buy into them. I think they're people who've never grown out of the schoolyard us-against-them approach to the opposite sex.

Meeting people should be a positive, great thing where you try to find someone you enjoy being with. I hate when people try to make it into more than that, and especially when they turn into something negative.

midlandsmissus

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Generally speaking older women are less attractive therefore they have less power over men. Its as simple as that really.

Scanlas the 2nd it's not about power. You've an awful view of men, women, power and sex.

Where's the love? You know - two people caring about each other?

Madam_X

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Generally speaking older women are less attractive therefore they have less power over men. Its as simple as that really.

Of course but the 100 per cent thing is hilarious, as well as the arbitrary figure of 30.

Looks like the guy who started this discussion believes women have the power and won't be happy til everyone agrees with him.

Jen Pigs Fly

The King of Moo wrote: »

I know, I hate those types of lists. They make both men and women look bad, but they also make meeting people into some sort of negative thing where you have to trick or "conquer" the other person.
And sadly lots of people buy into them. I think they're people who've never grown out of the schoolyard us-against-them approach to the opposite sex.

Meeting people should be a positive, great thing where you try to find someone you enjoy being with. I hate when people try to make it into more than that, and especially when they turn into something negative.

I completely agree, although those sort of articles really target those women who have very 'strict' standards when it comes to men - ie they have a specific list of what they want, and if he doesn't have everything she won't bother, and some men are exactly the same!

I suppose it's kind of like a more detailed version of the classic - "If a boy hits you, he must like you" - it's all rubbish if you ask me, there are no set rules when it comes to finding someone, but some people will insist that there is a specific formula ...

I tend to avoid those kind of lists like a plague if I'm honest, they're all ridiculous if you ask me basically sugar coating the same thing over and over again.

Gummy Panda

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Women have all the power, more power than You can imagine. Since puberty, we men have made 95% of our decisions based on the wishes of the holders of the Double Y Chromosome. How we dress, act, walk, talk, move, groove, work, jerk, excel, tell, joke, laugh, compete, and conquer relates to the golden pursuit…YOU.

That's from that link.....


Haha you have to love them being totally wrong, double X chromosome!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_n2IVF9a2IA

midlandsmissus

xxxJennyxxx wrote: »

The Sister hood of the magical vagina of total power?

First you must master how to sign your name with your vagina! Get those pelvic floor muscles working :pac:

Jeny, I have to say you made me laugh

Scanlas The 2nd

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Generally speaking older women are less attractive therefore they have less power over men. Its as simple as that really.

Scanlas the 2nd it's not about power. You've an awful view of men, women, power and sex.

Where's the love? You know - two people caring about each other?

What's not about power?

The simple fact of matters are that the more attractive a woman is the more influence she has over men. Do you deny this statement?