Do women have all the power...

Doc Ruby

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

What's not about power?

The simple fact of matters are that the more attractive a woman is the more influence she has over men. Do you deny this statement?

Heh, maybe young men who think with their nuts. They tend not to have any power themselves to attract your powergaming women anyway so the whole thing seems a bit irrelevant.

Pa Dee

Fnarrrr

Ms. Pingui

I think women do hold a bit more of the power than men. It really depends on a few factors though, such as looks, personality and confidence. A good looking girl can probably get whoever she wants, especially if she has the confidence to do a bit of approaching herself.
I don't believe in all this waiting around for men to come to you. Just go out there and get what you want!

Madam_X

Fair bit of speaking for others here despite having no insight - I take it a lot of the posters are very young? Must be if they think 30 = woman all of a sudden decrepit!

Fizzlesque

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Generally speaking older women are less attractive therefore they have less power over men. Its as simple as that really.

I must be above average then

Joking aside, I've been chatted up/asked out by more twenty-something men since reaching my thirties (and a few since I've been in my forties) than when I was in my twenties.

Perhaps the fact I'm not looking for marriage and babies makes a difference, but I suspect it has more to do with the fact I'm much more confident and self-assured now, than I was when I was in my 20s.

Some men age well, some don't. Some women age well, some don't. It's not necessarily related to gender; good genes and taking care of yourself (getting some exercise, eating well, sleeping enough, taking care of your skin and hair etc) determine whether or not you'll age well, not whether you're a man or a woman.

In relation to the posters who have commented on men preferring to do the chasing, it has been my experience that they do. I'm not shy about talking to a man I like, but of the many dalliances I've enjoyed over the years, the ones that came about because I did the chasing haven't lasted as long or been as exciting as the ones that came about because I was chased. Perhaps this has something to do with 'opportunism', as in, the men I've liked have just availed of the opportunity, whereas the men who've liked me first have continued to like me and were looking for more than an 'opportunity' in the first place.

I'm currently seeing someone a lot younger than me, and he did all the chasing. Another great thing (for me) about getting older has been the ability to let go of the need to be feisty and deny my femininity for fear of being seen as weak. I've learned to embrace my femininity and have discovered it's very empowering, as opposed to the incorrect idea I had in my earlier years that I needed to 'prove' I could manage everything alone.

Lyaiera

Can I just reject this idea of "power" and that this is all a game with winning and losing? Instead I'll just go with having good times and that.

Jen Pigs Fly

Lyaiera wrote: »

Can I just reject this idea of "power" and that this is all a game with winning and losing? Instead I'll just go with having good times and that.

I think I'll follow route too ...

Scanlas The 2nd

Doc Ruby wrote: »

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

What's not about power?

The simple fact of matters are that the more attractive a woman is the more influence she has over men. Do you deny this statement?

Heh, maybe young men who think with their nuts. They tend not to have any power themselves to attract your powergaming women anyway so the whole thing seems a bit irrelevant.

Put an attractive woman in a random street and have her ask ten men at random for a spare euro, then get a twenty stone woman to do the same. Are you saying they have an equal chance of getting the euro?

Scanlas The 2nd

Lyaiera wrote: »

Can I just reject this idea of "power" and that this is all a game with winning and losing? Instead I'll just go with having good times and that.

Cool reject the idea of "gravity" while you're at it.

Lyaiera

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Cool reject the idea of "gravity" while you're at it.

I would need special powers for that.

Madam_X

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Put an attractive woman in a random street and have her ask ten men at random for a spare euro, then get a twenty stone woman to do the same. Are you saying they have an equal chance of getting the euro?

Bit of an extreme to use as an argument no?

midlandsmissus

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

What's not about power?

The simple fact of matters are that the more attractive a woman is the more influence she has over men. Do you deny this statement?

What if the man had got to know said attractive woman and couldn't stand her?

Doc Ruby

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Put an attractive woman in a random street and have her ask ten men at random for a spare euro, then get a twenty stone woman to do the same. Are you saying they have an equal chance of getting the euro?

Depends, some guys like em cuddly.

No you have a point, of course, but its not the end of the discussion, there are many more facets to the complex interplay between men and women in different societies than a powerometer. It seems like a very aggressive way of looking at relationships.

Personally speaking, in my experience, I'll go up and talk to anyone, no matter how hot, because I know if they have an unpleasant personality I'm much better off steering clear, and if they turn out to be good craic, then by god I'll have good craic with them! Its a win-win proposition, but if you're fixated on looks you'll never get that. Doesn't even need confidence, no magic, just be able to peek a little under the surface and find something to natter about.

midlandsmissus

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Put an attractive woman in a random street and have her ask ten men at random for a spare euro, then get a twenty stone woman to do the same. Are you saying they have an equal chance of getting the euro?

Maybe ask why the man would rather give his euro to an attractive woman. Is it about the man, or the woman? i.e he feels good about himself.

Lyaiera

When I was five I had a power that let me change the colour of traffic lights if I stared at them hard enough and for long enough.

midlandsmissus

What do you think love is Scanlaas the second?

AdventRises

In regards to sex ... Yes.


'guys are the chasers, girls are the choosers" - reason why its a famous saying

Scanlas The 2nd

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

What's not about power?

The simple fact of matters are that the more attractive a woman is the more influence she has over men. Do you deny this statement?

What if the man had got to know said attractive woman and couldn't stand her?

Did I ever say looks are the only thing that matters to men looking for a girlfriend.

What is power? It's the ability to influence other people. Attractive women all things equal can influence men more than unatteactive women. Try an experiment, dress attractively and ask for favours from men and then ask for favours dressed unattractively.

Scanlas The 2nd

Onixx wrote: »

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Put an attractive woman in a random street and have her ask ten men at random for a spare euro, then get a twenty stone woman to do the same. Are you saying they have an equal chance of getting the euro?

Bit of an extreme to use as an argument no?

If by extreme you mean accurate and unbiased then yes.

Logical Fallacy

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

If by extreme you mean accurate and unbiased then yes.

But that can be applied to lots of stuff. Take the same woman and put her in a gay bar filled with gay dudes, then get the ugly one in there to ask.

I'd be interested in the results of that one.

Would the hot one get the money but the ugly one gets a make over?

Probably.

Madam_X

Well using an extreme to argue tends to indicate a flimsy argument
Why 20 stone? Few women are that obese so it's not exactly a fair hypothesis.

Sauve

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

If by extreme you mean accurate and unbiased then yes.

Do you honestly think that all men are that shallow and stupid?

AdventRises

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

But that can be applied to lots of stuff. .

not really.
Scanlas The 2nd point and your point are different.

Lyaiera

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Did I ever say looks are the only thing that matters to men looking for a girlfriend.

What is power? It's the ability to influence other people. Attractive women all things equal can influence men more than unatteactive women. Try an experiment, dress attractively and ask for favours from men and then ask for favours dressed unattractively.

You don't seem to get this and instead have thundered down the road Machiavelli paved so many years ago. Lots of people simply aren't playing the game you think you're playing. We're fortunate enough that for most people the basics in life are provided for. We don't have to get into silly willy waggling contests about who has more stuff or more influence or more power. We get on with life because you know what? Life is fcuking enjoyable without putting bullsh1t braggadocio over all our interactions. I'm not trying to extract anything from you, or influence you for anything, I'm simply trying to understand what makes you tick, and what will make me and you happy.

There's no tricks or cons or powerplays to this, it's basic humanity and honesty between two people who simply couldn't give a feck about should and shouldn't and can be happy with what they have and what they can get with each other.

Fizzlesque

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Put an attractive woman in a random street and have her ask ten men at random for a spare euro, then get a twenty stone woman to do the same. Are you saying they have an equal chance of getting the euro?

You have a point with this example, but it works both ways. Get an attractive man, put him on a random street looking lost and confused and approaching women for assistance, and then put a sweaty, bug-eyed man in dirty, ill-fitting clothes doing the same thing, and see what happens.

Madam_X

AdventRises wrote: »

In regards to sex ... Yes.


'guys are the chasers, girls are the choosers" - reason why its a famous saying

Jaysus some folks here are mad for the simplistic labelling - no breaking things down for you guys!

Logical Fallacy

AdventRises wrote: »

not really.
Scanlas The 2nd point and your point are different.

I know that.

I am just not taking this thread very seriously, because it's an AH special.

It's a case by case thing, as nearly all social issues are...but I reckon if you read through the thread you'll have at least ten people ending posts with "FACT!" and then sticking to their guns about how right they are.

AdventRises

Onixx wrote: »

Jaysus some folks here are mad for the simplistic labelling - no breaking things down for you guys!

I hate that word 'labelling'
It gets thrown around too much. Especially in defense of things.

Scanlas The 2nd

Sauve wrote: »

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

If by extreme you mean accurate and unbiased then yes.

Do you honestly think that all men are that shallow and stupid?

I'm non judgemental about it. It's far from shallowness or stupidity, its deeply primordial instincts.

Pick 100 20, 25, 30, 35 year old women at random and get them to try the experiment.

Then do the same experiment with women who rate from 1 to 10 on attractives ( already determined by surveys) and perform the same experiment. I think somehow you might see a pattern in the results.

midlandsmissus

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

I'm non judgemental about it. It's far from shallowness or stupidity, its deeply primordial instincts.

Pick 100 20, 25, 30, 35 year old women at random and get them to try the experiment.

Then do the same experiment with women who rate from 1 to 10 on attractives ( already determined by surveys) and perform the same experiment. I think somehow you might see a pattern in the results.

Do you agree that it would be the same with the sexes reversed?

Power in what I know beautiful women who attract less men than average girls who have more personality . Equally there are really average men who have bags of charm who pull the most amazing looking woman .

Looks maybe attract at the beginning but the personality wins out in the end irrespective of age ! Imo

Sauve

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

I'm non judgemental about it. It's far from shallowness or stupidity, its deeply primordial instincts.

Pick 100 20, 25, 30, 35 year old women at random and get them to try the experiment.

Then do the same experiment with women who rate from 1 to 10 on attractives ( already determined by surveys) and perform the same experiment. I think somehow you might see a pattern in the results.

I can see where you're coming from but I still disagree- plenty of men can and will over-ride that initial primordial reaction and make their decision based on more factors than instinct.

Madam_X

AdventRises wrote: »

I hate that word 'labelling'
It gets thrown around too much. Especially in defense of things.

All right so. Narrowing something complex down to a simplistic, convenient soundbite.

Scanlas The 2nd

Lyaiera wrote: »

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Did I ever say looks are the only thing that matters to men looking for a girlfriend.

What is power? It's the ability to influence other people. Attractive women all things equal can influence men more than unatteactive women. Try an experiment, dress attractively and ask for favours from men and then ask for favours dressed unattractively.

You don't seem to get this and instead have thundered down the road Machiavelli paved so many years ago. Lots of people simply aren't playing the game you think you're playing. We're fortunate enough that for most people the basics in life are provided for. We don't have to get into silly willy waggling contests about who has more stuff or more influence or more power. We get on with life because you know what? Life is fcuking enjoyable without putting bullsh1t braggadocio over all our interactions. I'm not trying to extract anything from you, or influence you for anything, I'm simply trying to understand what makes you tick, and what will make me and you happy.

There's no tricks or cons or powerplays to this, it's basic humanity and honesty between two people who simply couldn't give a feck about should and shouldn't and can be happy with what they have and what they can get with each other.

The above is ridiculously misinterpreted.

People have varying amounts of influence over other people. Are you under the assumption everyone can influence exactly the same as everyone else. Influencing skills is part of normal social skills.

Who said anything about bravado.

I never said you are trying to extract anything from anyone. You're jumping to crazy assumptions.

Scanlas The 2nd

Fizzlesque wrote: »

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Put an attractive woman in a random street and have her ask ten men at random for a spare euro, then get a twenty stone woman to do the same. Are you saying they have an equal chance of getting the euro?

You have a point with this example, but it works both ways. Get an attractive man, put him on a random street looking lost and confused and approaching women for assistance, and then put a sweaty, bug-eyed man in dirty, ill-fitting clothes doing the same thing, and see what happens.

Yes, attractive members of the opposite se get more compliance all things equal. The more attractive a man is the more influence he has over women.

Fizzlesque

Lilian Panicky Truck wrote: »

Equally there are really average men who have bags of charm who pull the most amazing looking woman .

Looks maybe attract at the beginning but the personality wins out in the end irrespective of age ! Imo

I completely agree. Charm is an extremely powerful asset for the men who possess it. I've fallen for men whose appearance alone wouldn't have attracted me, but after spending some time talking to them (and being kissed by them) I've ended up thinking they were gorgeous. Equally, there have been men I've thought were gorgeous appearance-wise, but beyond that they've failed to keep my interest alive.

Another thing that affects my views on someone's attractiveness is dancing - as someone who loves to dance, to see a man who loves to dance happily dancing to a good tune is (for me) a truly beautiful sight.

Scanlas The 2nd

Sauve wrote: »

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

I'm non judgemental about it. It's far from shallowness or stupidity, its deeply primordial instincts.

Pick 100 20, 25, 30, 35 year old women at random and get them to try the experiment.

Then do the same experiment with women who rate from 1 to 10 on attractives ( already determined by surveys) and perform the same experiment. I think somehow you might see a pattern in the results.

I can see where you're coming from but I still disagree- plenty of men can and will over-ride that initial primordial reaction and make their decision based on more factors than instinct.

So much of what we think we make decisions on is an illusion. In many cases are emotions and instincts dictate our choice then after the fact we imagine reasons why we made the choice to fit in with our self image. But of course men still make decisions on other factors.

Sauve

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

So much of what we think we make decisions on is an illusion. In many cases are emotions and instincts dictate our choice then after the fact we imagine reasons why we made the choice to fit in with our self image. But of course men still make decisions on other factors.

Ok, that makes a whole heap of sense actually. One to ponder over the next few days!

Doc Ruby

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

The above is ridiculously misinterpreted.

People have varying amounts of influence over other people. Are you under the assumption everyone can influence exactly the same as everyone else. Influencing skills is part of normal social skills.

Who said anything about bravado.

I never said you are trying to extract anything from anyone. You're jumping to crazy assumptions.

You seem to be wandering all over the place here. If you want to play power games, you need to find someone who will buy into that, or find someone who doesn't realise what's going on temporarily, these often turn into abusive relationships. Either way its an adversarial approach, and I've no idea how someone could ever find bare contentment with that, let alone happiness with a partner, unless they got their kicks from dominance or something. And some people do. But its a bad way to go about life.

On the social scene, the dating scene, if you're asking questions about power and influence, you're right back into the situation described above - such questions only make sense at all if you don't really understand human relationships, and are neglecting the most important aspect, what goes on inside. Its a round plug into a square hole for most people.

The hottest woman in the world becomes undesireable if shes a sourpuss diva, same goes for men. She might get your pocket change as in your example above, but that doesn't matter. This whole "obedience to instincts" thing is barely the tip of the iceberg.

Gummy Panda

Mental note: Come on to 30+ year old women as I'll have the power.


/Goes to Cougars

Lyaiera

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

The above is ridiculously misinterpreted.

People have varying amounts of influence over other people. Are you under the assumption everyone can influence exactly the same as everyone else. Influencing skills is part of normal social skills.

Who said anything about bravado.

I never said you are trying to extract anything from anyone. You're jumping to crazy assumptions.

That's because you have a fundamental inability to understand what I'm saying. I'm guessing it's because the idea is so alien to you. Am I influenced and do I influence people? Absolutely, my communication with you and the thanks for the posts I've made shows that I have without a doubt influenced people. However, I'm not doing this for any ulterior motive, I'm not hoping I "get a ride" out of it, I'm not looking for a Euro on the streets, I am just trying to come to terms with an understanding we can achieve between the two of us (and the people around us.)

What you say is people influencing others, is me reacting to their communication. I know myself well enough to judge what I'm thinking, and I can generally deal fairly well with the various ideas and feelings running about. You however are putting nefarious implications on what is generally just people doing the things people do.

An example, a guy came up to me and asked for a cigarette. Normally I would give anyone who was polite (and old enough to smoke) a cigarette if I had enough. But yes, there are cues that I will take from that person. A lot of (bad) drug users are simply intimidating on the streets, I wouldn't give them a cigarette. But this guy I did give a cigarette because he was very polite and he was also obviously homeless. Him being polite to me wasn't simply him trying to get a cigarette, he seemed to me to just be a genuinely nice and polite guy. Of course in your world of power that could all have been an act to get this oh-so-valuable cigarette out of me, but I simply refuse to approach the world with that attitude. I will assume pretty much anyone is genuine and honest unless they give me reason not to.

You're assumption seems to be that people alter themselves to achieve things in the world, and I'd imagine that's true for a fair amount of people. But for me I'll dance happily along because I've decided that people are interested in being good, and for a lot of them their primary motivation is being good and not getting involved in ideas of how power gives or takes.

tempura

Downlinz wrote: »

Women under 30 hold all the cards, men hold the cards when with women over 30. Fact

What Utter Bollix !

Daveysil15

xxxJennyxxx wrote: »

where are the lists that deals with women who actually will sleep with you on the first/second meeting because she might just want to! :rolleyes:

Well where are those women? If they do exist they certainly don't make themselves heard, or at least won't admit it for fear of been called a slapper.

The King of Moo

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Well where are those women? If they do exist they certainly don't make themselves heard, or at least won't admit it for fear of been called a slapper.

I've come across plenty of women like that (double entendre acknowledged and intended). Obviously for many of them the man will have to be attractive to some extent (looks/confidence etc) but if you go out regularly you'll see plenty of women like that.

Because, of course, there are plenty of people of both genders like that, and plenty of both genders who aren't.

CommanderC

Downlinz wrote: »

Women under 30 hold all the cards, men hold the cards when with women over 30. Fact

A mingin' woman under 30 holds far less power than a fox in her 30s.

Fizzlesque

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Well where are those women? If they do exist they certainly don't make themselves heard, or at least won't admit it for fear of been called a slapper.

How exactly would you like these women to 'make themselves heard'?

Little badges that say "I sometimes sleep with men on the first date"...

Does your 'if they exist' comment mean you don't believe some women do, or do you mean they don't sleep with you?

Daveysil15

CommanderC wrote: »

A mingin' woman under 30 holds far less power than a fox in her 30s.

Very true! If a woman is hot she's hot. Age doesn't matter as much as looks. I don't think Georgia Salpa is going to become undesirable when she's in her thirties.

Madam_X

tempura wrote: »

What Utter Bollix !

It's not! They said "Fact!"

Daveysil15

Fizzlesque wrote: »

How exactly would you like these women to 'make themselves heard'?

Little badges that say "I sometimes sleep with men on the first date"...

Does your 'if they exist' comment mean you don't believe some women do, or do you mean they don't sleep with you?

What I mean is they don't usually discuss it openly because of the stigma associated with their promiscuity.

tempura

Daveysil15 wrote: »

What I mean is they don't usually discuss it openly because of the stigma associated with their promiscuity.

Its not the dark ages, a lot of women I know ( and I mean women, not girls ) have no problem satisfying their sexual needs and have no worries as to what other people think, I include myself in that !