Do women have all the power...

Madam_X

Yeah but some people are way more obsessed with the power angle than others.

Daveysil15

tempura wrote: »

Its not the dark ages, a lot of women I know ( and I mean women, not girls ) have no problem satisfying their sexual needs and have no worries as to what other people think, I include myself in that !

You wouldn't happen to have the names and contact details of these sexually liberated women by any chance?

Scanlas The 2nd

Lyaiera wrote: »

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

The above is ridiculously misinterpreted.

People have varying amounts of influence over other people. Are you under the assumption everyone can influence exactly the same as everyone else. Influencing skills is part of normal social skills.

Who said anything about bravado.

I never said you are trying to extract anything from anyone. You're jumping to crazy assumptions.

That's because you have a fundamental inability to understand what I'm saying. I'm guessing it's because the idea is so alien to you. Am I influenced and do I influence people? Absolutely, my communication with you and the thanks for the posts I've made shows that I have without a doubt influenced people. However, I'm not doing this for any ulterior motive, I'm not hoping I "get a ride" out of it, I'm not looking for a Euro on the streets, I am just trying to come to terms with an understanding we can achieve between the two of us (and the people around us.)

What you say is people influencing others, is me reacting to their communication. I know myself well enough to judge what I'm thinking, and I can generally deal fairly well with the various ideas and feelings running about. You however are putting nefarious implications on what is generally just people doing the things people do.

An example, a guy came up to me and asked for a cigarette. Normally I would give anyone who was polite (and old enough to smoke) a cigarette if I had enough. But yes, there are cues that I will take from that person. A lot of (bad) drug users are simply intimidating on the streets, I wouldn't give them a cigarette. But this guy I did give a cigarette because he was very polite and he was also obviously homeless. Him being polite to me wasn't simply him trying to get a cigarette, he seemed to me to just be a genuinely nice and polite guy. Of course in your world of power that could all have been an act to get this oh-so-valuable cigarette out of me, but I simply refuse to approach the world with that attitude. I will assume pretty much anyone is genuine and honest unless they give me reason not to.

You're assumption seems to be that people alter themselves to achieve things in the world, and I'd imagine that's true for a fair amount of people. But for me I'll dance happily along because I've decided that people are interested in being good, and for a lot of them their primary motivation is being good and not getting involved in ideas of how power gives or takes.

Wow that's a lot of random waffle and wild tangents considering the basic point I'm making is more attractive women have more influence on men.

Scanlas The 2nd

Daveysil15 wrote: »

CommanderC wrote: »

A mingin' woman under 30 holds far less power than a fox in her 30s.

Very true! If a woman is hot she's hot. Age doesn't matter as much as looks. I don't think Georgia Salpa is going to become undesirable when she's in her thirties.

Less desirable though.

We make so many decisions on a daily basis that we are unaware of even making, never mind the reasons behind those decisions. I think it's hugely naive to claim to understand fully how we make our decisions.

There was an experiment done where the participants were in a lift and had to hold a cold or hot drink for some random person, when asked what they thought of the person in the lift people consistently had much more positive comments when holding a hot drink and gave detailed reasoning backing up their comments.

Of course no one said I liked that guy because I was holding a hot drink at the time.

Their are forces governing all our behaviour that we are completely unaware of. A man might think he's doing a favour for the sexy woman because she was polite etc, but perhaps it's like the drink experiment, her sexiness makes him feel a certain way which governs his behaviour. He then comes up with contrived reasoning afterwards to explain his decision.

Novella

I don't think women have all the power when it comes to dating. I mean, a woman could meet a man, be really interested in him but him not quite as interested in her and therefore, in that scenario, the man is in the position of power. It depends on the individuals in each situation. I do think one person always has more 'power' over the other though, but in my opinion it's not gender dependent.

lifelongnoob

i dont think women hold all the power....... if they abuse it, men will just look elsewhere

Daveysil15

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Less desirable though.

But still shagable though.

getzls

Yes. That fecker of mine locks me out when she gets pissed off. Last time was for 9 bloody days.:mad: I owe the bitch one. Some day.:cool:

Fizzlesque

Daveysil15 wrote: »

What I mean is they don't usually discuss it openly because of the stigma associated with their promiscuity.

tempura wrote: »

Its not the dark ages, a lot of women I know ( and I mean women, not girls ) have no problem satisfying their sexual needs and have no worries as to what other people think, I include myself in that !

Discuss it with who? I don't generally discuss what I get up to, not because I'm afraid of stigma, but because why would I, and who'd be interested?

Like Tempura, a lot of the women I know (myself included) would have no issue at all with enjoying some intimacy when the mood strikes and the opportunity presents itself, but I'm not giving you their (or my) contact details and names

pragmatic1

Women have choice, men have quantity.

CodyJarrett

Well, my feelings would be that women hold all the power when it comes to pulling.

If women sought sex to same degree as men and where willing to spend money on porn, magazines, male strippers and male prostitutes and all it took was men to have a few buttons of their shirts opened as they walked down the street in order for them to have women looking at them with their mouth's wide open, or just wearing a pair of tight jeans also had every second woman doing double takes to check out their arses, well then there would be a power share, but until such time, there isn't.

In relationships though:

I think the power is with the person who has the most of what the other person wants/needs, which is why I think the key to a lasting relationship is when both sides want and need each other in equal measures.

RoverZT

Woman had the power tonight.

Friend of mine couldn't go out with myself and 2 other lads to watch the Ireland match this evening.

Wife said go out with the lads and it's finished.

What a bitch and he is a bigger fool letting her control him.

He has a newborn and hasn't been out in months

Logical Fallacy

RoverZT wrote: »

Woman had the power tonight.

Friend of mine couldn't go out with myself and 2 other lads to watch the Ireland match this evening.

Wife said go out with the lads and it's finished.

What a bitch and he is a bigger fool letting her control him.

He has a newborn and hasn't been out in months

Possible connection between these two I reckon. :rolleyes:

Spread

When they're on top, down below and with their legs 'round your waist ....... anywhere else they just complement the man.

Smidge

I don't think it is all about looks, age, status, gender, that controls the power dynamic.
I think it's sexuality, someone who oozes sex appeal, THEY control the power.
We have all known or met someone, who draws people to them.
They may not be a super model or a George Clooney but they can make peoples knees weak.



That is true power

The King of Moo

RoverZT wrote: »

A Woman had the power over one particular person tonight.

Friend of mine couldn't go out with myself and 2 other lads to watch the Ireland match this evening.

Wife said go out with the lads and it's finished.

What a bitch and he is a bigger fool letting her control him.

He has a newborn and hasn't been out in months

I don't normally say this, but... FYP.

It doesn't sound particularly healthy that one person in that relationship orders the other around, but I don't think that gender is an issue there, just two individuals clashing.

Downlinz

midlandsmissus wrote: »

I defo don't agree with that. Women reach their sexual peak in their early thirties and become much more confident. They're obv not going to get men in their 20's but alot of older men in 30s, 40s and 50s would still be very interested.

It's all about confidence. You gotta love yourself first and be happy with yourself no matter what age!

Its a supply/demand problem. Women reaching their sexual peak in their 30's is a large part of why their power wanes in that period. They want it more and with aging they've become less desirable.
A mans attraction tends to be less central to their appearance than a woman so our stock is far less affected not to mention women wanting older men (devaluing 20 something males) and males wanting young women (making 20 something women the holy grail for all age groups) also contributing to the sharp power swing in the 30's bracket.

Smidge

Downlinz wrote: »

Its a supply/demand problem. Women reaching their sexual peak in their 30's is a large part of why their power wanes in that period. They want it more and with aging they've become less desirable.
A mans attraction tends to be less central to their appearance than a woman so our stock is far less affected not to mention women wanting older men (devaluing 20 something males) and males wanting young women (making 20 something women the holy grail for all age groups) also contributing to the sharp power swing in the 30's bracket.

Who says???

donfers

Fizzlesque wrote: »

Another great thing (for me) about getting older has been the ability to let go of the need to be feisty and deny my femininity for fear of being seen as weak. I've learned to embrace my femininity and have discovered it's very empowering, as opposed to the incorrect idea I had in my earlier years that I needed to 'prove' I could manage everything alone.

This is a key point here and so many women fall down at this point, like you say they constantly feel like they have something to prove and get all shouty and aggressive about the most petty of things or a bit of harmless banter, or else they drink themselves into oblivion before they can be comfortable with their sexuality, it all just smacks of an intense self-conscious insecurity and it is very unattractive in my opinion - and usually there is absolutely no call for it, i don't mind people getting all hot and bothered when there is actually something affecting their core principles but unfortunately it's often just a front to mask intense insecurity and a kind of negative self-image (which in some ways I feel sorry for them because of cultural pressures, but that's something all of us have to cope with and as you have proven - it's something we should be strong enough to get over)

It seems to be an english-speaking phenomenon for whatever reason, because having lived in france/spain they don't seem to have that kind of bolshiness thing in their women so much, maybe it's something to do with the "bitch" word being rebranded as some kind of empowering thing but ladies honestly, it's not, everybody sees through it and the truth is it makes you look the opposite of what you are trying to be, just kind of weak/insecure/overly conscious of what others think

mauzo

mishkalucy wrote: »

Who says???

Was thinking the same, If its this good now, i cant wait to hit my 30s!!!!

Smidge

I like to think of it as a meal

20's = starters
Learning the ropes(pun intended)

30's = Mains
Have perfected technique

40's = Desert
Just add whipped cream :cool:

hatrickpatrick

Answer to the OP is no.
The reason is may seem that way is because so many lads allow themselves to be whipped. It's all about confidence, if you have that, you will absolutely never find yourself in the position of being manipulated.

Problem is, most guys these days seem to have an innate lack of confidence (I blame the media solely for this issue), and the kind of women who 'whip' guys are able to sense this. One poster in this thread mentioned how a friend of his couldn't go to watch the match with his mates because "if you do that, we're finished" - if you're in that position, it's because there's a total mismatch in your confidence levels. She has the confidence to make that threat and you don't have the confidence to face it head on, even though it's clearly a bluff. One of my ex girlfriends used to try that one on me, but when I'd just shrug and go "fair enough, if that's how you roll" she realized I wasn't the kind of lad to be bullied like that and gave up trying to change me.

Unfortunately human nature is, in many people, to try to take advantage of eachother. But if you make it clear that you won't be taken advantage of, most such people will give up.

Now, a deeper question is, do you really want to be involved with someone who treats you that way? There are plenty of peole out there, both guys and girls, who actually aren't complete gobsh!tes. Go and find one of those instead!

midlandsmissus

Downlinz wrote: »

Its a supply/demand problem. Women reaching their sexual peak in their 30's is a large part of why their power wanes in that period. They want it more and with aging they've become less desirable.
A mans attraction tends to be less central to their appearance than a woman so our stock is far less affected not to mention women wanting older men (devaluing 20 something males) and males wanting young women (making 20 something women the holy grail for all age groups) also contributing to the sharp power swing in the 30's bracket.

The holy grail for all age groups - surely not men in their 40s and 50s?

Again, there are plenty of stunning women in their 30's. Katy Perry and Cheryl Cole are going to hit 30 in 2 years time. Are you telling me in 2 years they are suddenly going to become decrepid and men won't fancy them?

Sexual peak - they want it more an suddenly are less desirable. We're talking about sex here. If a woman in her 30's wanted lots of sex, believe me she could get it.

hatrickpatrick

Also I find it kind of amusing when so many guys say women have it easier when it comes to sex and dating. I actually think us lads are incredibly lucky. for a start, there's no imaginary social "rule" which says if we like a girl we just have to wait and hope she makes the first move with us (tons of girls I know passively wait around for a guy to notice them first instead of just going over to him and saying hi), and most (I say most because obviously there are plenty of exceptions) of us don't seem to have the bizarre ability to be wildly attracted to someone who makes us feel like crap in every other way. I've known a few girls get hopelessly addicted to guys who persistently cheat on them and run them down, and it's heartbreaking.

Think about that next time you find yourself getting jealous :P

TomBeckett

xxxJennyxxx wrote: »

Some women seem to think that having a vagina means they must get certain privileges - men must do what they say in order to get a bit of their magical vagina :rolleyes:

In western society this is very true!! no man can argue women have what we want.... and women use it to get what they want too..... just after sex she says ooh sweetie you know that prada handbag i was looking at yesterday!!!$$$$$ as she lets her hand roam under the sheets for round 2

Now things are a bit different if you live here:D We men have the upper hand but only if your single when in a relationship its all the same:rolleyes:

mauzo

mishkalucy wrote: »

I like to think of it as a meal

20's = starters
Learning the ropes(pun intended)

30's = Mains
Have perfected technique

40's = Desert
Just add whipped cream :cool:

Bill please:D:D

hatrickpatrick

The King of Moo wrote: »

I don't normally say this, but... FYP.

It doesn't sound particularly healthy that one person in that relationship orders the other around, but I don't think that gender is an issue there, just two individuals clashing.

As I said in my post, this seems to happen far more to guys, but it's purely a confidence thing. He probably believes in his head that she's "out of his league" and that he's lucky to be with her at all, hence he takes such idle threats seriously and treads around her on tiptoe to avoid pissing her off.

I would highly imagine there's no chance at all of her going through with those threats. If she does, he's far better off without someone like that anyway. Win win situation.

Smidge

syndeyfife wrote: »

Bill please:D:D

There is no need for a bill

Exhaustion has killed them :cool:

hatrickpatrick

xxxJennyxxx wrote: »

Some women seem to think that having a vagina means they must get certain privileges - men must do what they say in order to get a bit of their magical vagina :rolleyes:

Blaming the victim again here a bit but this is still (IMO) primarily guys' fault - if guys didn't pander to it, it would cease to be a stereotype.

RoverZT

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Again, there are plenty of stunning women in their 30's. Katy Perry and Cheryl Cole are going to hit 30 in 2 years time. Are you telling me in 2 years they are suddenly going to become decrepid and men won't fancy them?

Cheryl is past it already.

Still stunning but more stunning a few years ago.

Katy Perry is nothing special anyway, very nice rack though

http://www.jakefinnegan.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/cheryl-cole6.jpg

In Japan a single woman over 25 is called a "Christmas cake" - because no-one wants them after the 25th

:D

There is a difference between youth and beauty though.

When women are young, they can rely on their youth to keep them beautiful.

But as they start to get older, age begins to show who was really beautiful and who was relying on youth.

Youth and beauty = Winner

Age and beauty = Runner Up.

Smidge

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

Also I find it kind of amusing when so many guys say women have it easier when it comes to sex and dating. I actually think us lads are incredibly lucky. for a start, there's no imaginary social "rule" which says if we like a girl we just have to wait and hope she makes the first move with us (tons of girls I know passively wait around for a guy to notice them first instead of just going over to him and saying hi), and most (I say most because obviously there are plenty of exceptions) of us don't seem to have the bizarre ability to be wildly attracted to someone who makes us feel like crap in every other way. I've known a few girls get hopelessly addicted to guys who persistently cheat on them and run them down, and it's heartbreaking.

Think about that next time you find yourself getting jealous :P

I must be the exception to that rule!
I knew a few girls that would pine for guys and I would always tell them that men can smell the desperation. In fairness they never listened.
I have always taken men as I found them(no pun intended).
If they suited me, fine
If they didn't, I got rid




Also, believe it or believe it not, I have never felt jealousy..............

Ever,
Go figure

hatrickpatrick

RoverZT wrote: »

Katy Perry is nothing special anyway, very nice rack though

Warning, possibly NSFW:
http://blog.reelloop.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/katyperry_ass.jpg

Can't see her rack in this pic, still want to say she's nothing special?

EDIT: On second thoughts, I'm not going to try and convince you she's hot.
One less guy for me to compete with for her affections

Jesus Wept

Domo230 wrote: »

Whoever is the least horny holds the power.

A-sexuals and old people.
hmmmm, I'm not so sure about that.

Red Hand

Of two people, the one who likes the other person more, is in more of a weaker position than their beau/belle.

Fizzlesque

Downlinz wrote: »

Its a supply/demand problem. Women reaching their sexual peak in their 30's is a large part of why their power wanes in that period. They want it more and with aging they've become less desirable. .

Hehe, that's quite absurd and most definitely not true. I hope for your sake you're just still a bit too immature to have arrived at the realisation that, for a woman, reaching her sexual peak is a far more potent aphrodisiac than the peachiness of youth. I wouldn't go back to the sexual landscape that was on offer in my twenties if such a thing were possible. For me, sexual peak was more about wanting amazing sex than lots of sex - quality, not quantity. So I don't need to be desirable to every (or even any) pimply faced youngster whose head is turned by youth. There are plenty of men out there who can't get enough of a woman who knows what brings her to orgasm (something many twenty something women haven't yet learned) and who isn't inhibited by society's sexual double standards anymore. No supply and demand problem there, trust me

donfers wrote: »

This is a key point here and so many women fall down at this point, like you say they constantly feel like they have something to prove and get all shouty and aggressive about the most petty of things or a bit of harmless banter, or else they drink themselves into oblivion before they can be comfortable with their sexuality, it all just smacks of an intense self-conscious insecurity and it is very unattractive in my opinion - and usually there is absolutely no call for it, i don't mind people getting all hot and bothered when there is actually something affecting their core principles but unfortunately it's often just a front to mask intense insecurity and a kind of negative self-image (which in some ways I feel sorry for them because of cultural pressures, but that's something all of us have to cope with and as you have proven - it's something we should be strong enough to get over)

It seems to be an english-speaking phenomenon for whatever reason, because having lived in france/spain they don't seem to have that kind of bolshiness thing in their women so much, maybe it's something to do with the "bitch" word being rebranded as some kind of empowering thing but ladies honestly, it's not, everybody sees through it and the truth is it makes you look the opposite of what you are trying to be, just kind of weak/insecure/overly conscious of what others think

Well, for me the repression of my femininity didn't take the form of being shouty and aggressive (not my style) it was more to do with denying the nurturing side of my nature. Independence was very important to me, as result of the subliminal (and some not so subliminal) messages I absorbed growing up, and the idea of being being a soft and gentle woman taking care of her man used make me want to puke.

There's lots more I could say on this subject but I'm not sure I'd be able to keep it brief - once my fingers start tapping those keys on the keyboard, there's no telling when they'll stop

Feeona

I think both men and women have power very specific to their gender. I think a loss of power (with both sexes) comes about when insecurity and bolshiness sets in, usually accompanied by a belief that everything is black and white.

Daveysil15

whiplashed wrote: »

If women sought sex to same degree as men and where willing to spend money on porn, magazines, male strippers and male prostitutes and all it took was men to have a few buttons of their shirts opened as they walked down the street in order for them to have women looking at them with their mouth's wide open, or just wearing a pair of tight jeans also had every second woman doing double takes to check out their arses, well then there would be a power share, but until such time, there isn't

Now this I do agree with. Whatever about relationships. When it comes to seducing, men don't have the same power.

However a lot of it is down to location and culture. In Russia for example, women out-number men by about 3-1. There are women in Russia that look like models and they're struggling to find a man. If men out-number women in bars and clubs (which is usually the case here) then who do you think has the power?

FishBowel

mishkalucy wrote: »

40's = Desert
Just add whipped cream :cool:

Would that be the Sahara or Kalahari?

Smidge

FishBowel wrote: »

Would that be the Sahara or Kalahari?

Not too keen on sand
You know, it gets kinda......everywhere:o









spelling himmler;)

Eve_Dublin

I got chatted up and asked out by a 22 year old last night. I'm 32. I don't think I got chatted up by 22 years olds even when I was 22. Just felt like sticking that in there...*smug smile*

It's madness to think your body knows you've hit 30 and it all falls apart then. Our age is based on a man made concept. If you look after yourself, there's no reason for you to suddenly get less attractive once you hit 30.

In this day and age, it's almost impossible to know someone's age just by looking at them. When that guy asked me out, his face dropped a bit when I thanked him for the invite but I'd a boyfriend...and I was 10 years older than him. Now I don't look 22 but I could pass for a woman in her late 20s, I think.

Daveysil15

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

If you look after yourself, there's no reason for you to suddenly get less attractive once you hit 30.

That's a good point. Look at Demi Moore. She's in her 40's and still very attractive. There are women in their 20's who'd love to look as good as her.

Eve_Dublin

Daveysil15 wrote: »

That's a good point. Look at Demi Moore. She's in her 40's and still very attractive. There are women in their 20's who'd love to look as good as her.

Well she's had a shed load of plastic surgery as well. Not the best example imo.

midlandsmissus

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Well she's had a shed load of plastic surgery as well. Not the best example imo.

Eva Mendes - 36. Smokin.

Eve_Dublin

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Eva Mendes - 36. Smokin.

I could list off a load of gorgeous women in their 30s. In fact, I could list off more sexy, hot women in their 30s than their 20s. Eva Mendes is sexy because she IS in her 30s IMO. Shakira is another one. Gwen Stefani. MIA....

hatrickpatrick

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Now this I do agree with. Whatever about relationships. When it comes to seducing, men don't have the same power.

We do, it's just that most of us don't know how to use it.
An analogy I like to use is that it's like a Peacock.
Peacocks have a specific mating dance. Male peacock puts up his plumes, circles a few times ruffling his tail feathers, peahen sort of walks around him a couple of times, then she runs forward and crouches, which is his invitation to mate.

Human beings are exactly the same - except imagine if the male didn't know he had to put up his feathers. It's not that we don't have the instinct either, it's that it's conditioned out of us by the media. Guys are more or less taught to be shy with women from an early age by kids TV etc.
I could be wrong about everything I've posted, it's based on my own observations and my own experiences both with myself and with people I know. Most guys I know who "can't get girls" probably could, but they're too shy to approach in the first place so it doesn't happen. Most girls I know who are lonely, on the other hand, are passively waiting for guys to chat them up and confused about why they don't even when it seems they probably like her. And since I've been improving my confidence I've started to realize that we actually do have the upper hand initiation wise, a lot of us are just too repressed to use it.

tl;dr, for a guy to be seductive he has to know the dance, and most guys who say they have problems talking to girls have 'forgotten' it somehow.
This is, of course, still just a theory. But I've yet to see any evidence which would refute it.

hatrickpatrick

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

It's madness to think your body knows you've hit 30 and it all falls apart then. Our age is based on a man made concept. If you look after yourself, there's no reason for you to suddenly get less attractive once you hit 30.

Sorry to harp on about the same theory but it could in fact be that since people believe they'll be less attractive once they hit thirty, they lose a lot of confidence when they hit thirty, and thus it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy?

mauzo

I think women are more seductive, they are by far the sexier sex.

Men can be seductive, nothing better than seeing a man checking you out, or looking interested. Sneaky smile here and there. Other than that they cant exactly do much?

Potatoeman

Men are expected to do the approaching in a lot of cases and the leg work. Lots of guys let being turned down badly impact their confidence. Some girls are brutal at shooting guys down and some guys let it get to them.
A friend of mine use to go to every girl in a club and try it on, he rarely went home alone. I have never seen a girl approach a guy get mocked probably as it doesn’t happen as often and guys digs the flattery.

Mr_Spaceman

Women have the power when it comes to online dating in my experience.

As a guy, sending out messages (interesting, fun chatty ones, not copy and paste generic crap) is a case of hope over expectation.

Occasionally I'll receive a message back and it normally leads to a date, but the whole palaver requires a hell of a lot of effort.

The King of Moo

syndeyfife wrote: »

I think women are more seductive, they are by far the sexier sex.

Men can be seductive, nothing better than seeing a man checking you out, or looking interested. Sneaky smile here and there. Other than that they cant exactly do much.

What, all of us?

I guess I'll stop bothering so.

*throws out Lynx cans, stripy shirts*