Help, advice needed - family member with severe depression

supportplease1

Hi all,

need to go anon for this one.

My mum has been hospitalised for depression the past 5 months with no sign of things getting any better, things for a month were great & now she has gone back down again... VHI runs out @ the end of July & we are not in a position to pay privately to continue hospital stay. The depression has always been there but my Dad passed away nearly 2 years ago and the grief etc had a terrible effect on her which resulted in an incident needing hospitalisation... Overnights in her own house have not gone well & I have been taking her here with me & all ok but couldnt take her this weekend as she was very very low & I do need to be careful what I expose my two young children to as when her anxiety levels esculate it can result in Phycotic episodes..

Am at a loss of what to do, she is a young woman with plenty to live for , all siblings live in Ireland & when my Dad passed away we would constantly be over visiting, taking her out etc but she seems to have lost the will to want go leave the hospital & sees it as a comfort to her which is completely understandable but she needs to learn to get through day to day life - We are seriously running out of time & as the eldest sibling am under alot of stress with the whole situation, Children have suffered from me having to spend so much time @ hospital etc, Partner is understanding but understandably is getting a bit stressed about having her with us pretty much every weekend, summer holidays cancelled, can't even plan a weekend away.. Can I just stress I would do anything for my Mum but she has to want to help herself aswell as we all need to live our lives..

Don't know what sort of advice I am looking for but maybe someone here has been through something similar?

Graces7

supportplease1 wrote: »

Hi all,

need to go anon for this one.

My mum has been hospitalised for depression the past 5 months with no sign of things getting any better, things for a month were great & now she has gone back down again... VHI runs out @ the end of July & we are not in a position to pay privately to continue hospital stay. The depression has always been there but my Dad passed away nearly 2 years ago and the grief etc had a terrible effect on her which resulted in an incident needing hospitalisation... Overnights in her own house have not gone well & I have been taking her here with me & all ok but couldnt take her this weekend as she was very very low & I do need to be careful what I expose my two young children to as when her anxiety levels esculate it can result in Phycotic episodes..

Am at a loss of what to do, she is a young woman with plenty to live for , all siblings live in Ireland & when my Dad passed away we would constantly be over visiting, taking her out etc but she seems to have lost the will to want go leave the hospital & sees it as a comfort to her which is completely understandable but she needs to learn to get through day to day life - We are seriously running out of time & as the eldest sibling am under alot of stress with the whole situation, Children have suffered from me having to spend so much time @ hospital etc, Partner is understanding but understandably is getting a bit stressed about having her with us pretty much every weekend, summer holidays cancelled, can't even plan a weekend away.. Can I just stress I would do anything for my Mum but she has to want to help herself aswell as we all need to live our lives..

Don't know what sort of advice I am looking for but maybe someone here has been through something similar?

Are you getting any support from eg social workers? Not sure what the system here is.

is there a possibility of some kind of sheltered housing? It may well be hard and not good that she faces being alone in a house where so much has happened. Clearly she is not well enough to be on her own. But clearly also this is damaging the entire family.

Just thinking aloud.

banquo

You've probably been told this a million times already but no harm in mentioning it again. Have you tried Pieta House?

biomed32

I would consider getting in touch with Pieta House, It could be a positive step forward for your mum.
I am unsure as to how your father passed away but there is another fantastic charity called ARC cancer support which supports familys in times of cancer diagnosis, treatment and loss.
http://www.nawi.ie/home.php is another organisation.
I dont know if her husbands death is at the root of the situation but it may go a long way to helping if she talks to someone about it, prehaps someone in a similar situation
Hope it helps and wish your mother all the best on this journey

RubyGirl

Programme on TV3 tonight at 10pm Ray D'Arcy Ireland's Depression Edidemic. Might be of some help.