I do not want to manage people

LegacyUser

Going unreg’ed for this.

I have a bit of a dilemma. In the past I have been asked to manage the team I work in 3 different times over the years when the previous manager left the company or moved to another role. Each of the 3 times, I declined as people management is not something I would enjoy doing. I am more of a technical guy, happy to do the work of delivering the service/product for the company. Each time I decline, I always feel awkward as I have to give countless reasons as to why I don’t want to take on the role offered. Senior management are fully confident in my ability to run the team but I am not. If I’m really honest, I’m not the most confident person so dealing in a managerial role and managing a team is something I’d find quite stressful. I know people say you should jump outside your comfort zone but I do believe for some people, remaining in your comfort zone is not necessarily a bad thing.

I know in reality I could cope with the managerial role but the anxiety and stress it would bring me during the day and each evening/night as I face the next day would just ruin my quality of life outside work. I’m not an ambitious career oriented person. I’m already on a great salary and been promoted 4 times so pay rises or further promotions are not motivating factors for me. I’m not someone who wants to rule the world. I know some might say I need to explore and resolve my confidence/anxiety issues and I have been to a counsellor about that but I do think people management is not for everyone even if you are deemed capable for it by your seniors.

This dilemma has reared it’s ugly head again as I’ve learned my current manager is to be transferred to a new role. I have been asked again to manage the team and again my instinct as always is to decline (I’ve been asked to think about the offer and let them know at the end of the week). I’ve seen my current manager run into issues with staff (she has confided in me as while I technically report into her, we have been peers and friends for years) and each time she raises the issues about difficult staff etc, it reinforces and validates my past decisions about declining such a role as I’m so glad I was not facing the issues she was having to deal with. Any of my friends who are people managers always go on about staff management being the most difficult and time consuming part of the job, especially if they are dealing with unproductive or disruptive staff. However, they are more career oriented people who are constantly seeking their next promotional opportunity which differentiates them from me so they tolerate such “challenges”.

Sorry for rambling but is it really such a bad thing to decline roles that ultimately will progress your career if such progression is not a priority for you? Happiness in the current role and meeting/exceeding the expectations of management in that current role is more of a priority for me and being able to switch off at end of day. Sure, I encounter the usual pressures and stresses in my current role also – it’s not always a picnic, but those pressures are an acceptable part of the role.

Daisy M

You have to do what makes you happy and if you know becoming a manager will make you stressed and have a detrimental impact on your quality of living then you are right to say no. If you are asked again and you choose to say no, request that you are not approached on this matter again and tell them if your feelings ever change you will let them know.

My husband is like you, he would make a great manager but it would stress him out and life is too short.

Sleepy

Could you offer to be a half-way house and assume a Team-lead role?

I'm similar to yourself, can deal with clients, quite technical but would hate to be doing HR reports on people, giving them appraisals or admonishing them for poor performance/attendance etc. I've no problems with being a project lead though, maybe you could offer to do something similar?

LegacyUser

thank you both for your responses.

DaisyM - your comment really gave me a boost and helped me put things in perspective.

Sleepy - ironically, I been an unofficial de facto lead of the team for all things non HR related for so long now. The reins are always given to me whenever the manager is on annual leave etc. Anytime a new manager comes on board and is in the learning phase of their role, they heavily rely on me as a sort of second in command. Without being self praising, it is understandable why senior management see me as the natural replacement for the role.

I guess it's my lack of confidence and fear of the unknown that is preventing me from making that big leap. No doubt it annoys senior mgt to have to through rounds of interviews for new replacements everytime this happens knowing I'm there and should be the one that takes the role. I just rather the quiet life and want to work to live not live to work. If that means, I am missing out on opportunities that others know I am more than capable of taking on, then so be it. My personal happiness and mental health is more important and as Daisy said, life is too short.

Panrich

This is similar to the position I found myself in a few years ago. I was running a small team onsite but without real involvement from an HR perspective. In essence, I had a team supervisor who looked after the day to day running of the team who reported to me and I concentrated on the technical side mainly and had customer meetings etc.

The site presence expanded and my role was divided into two roles. There was the Technical Operations Manager and the Service Delivery Manager roles created. It was assumed that I would fill the latter role as this held overall site responsibility.

I chose instead to take the TOM role and I now report to a SDM. Many have wondered why I made this decision.

For my part, I am very comfortable in my technical sphere. I tend to think logically and a bit laterally when dealing with issues and really get a buzz from discovering a new fix for a problem.
Dealing with people is not as straightforward for me as I am not a very artful person and cannot abide the petty office politics involved. I tend to call a spade a spade and this often does not go down well with some.

I suspect that you are similar to me and I can say that although I now report to someone else instead of being captain of the ship, I am happy to leave the politics of the office to those that excel in that area.

I don't know your situation so I cannot say that you should not take the role being offered, and it may be that you might end up reporting to someone that you feel is not up to the job if you don't, but that's the danger with the choice you have to make.

Nichololas

This is an almost universal problem in many technical careers like IT, software development, engineering; at a certain age or position if you're good at your job there's a tendency to get promoted into a managerial position and away from the technical stuff.

I'm not sure there's any definite answer to this, I suppose it would depend on our role and the type of company you work for. I guess if you really want to stay in your current role then you should, but change is good so maybe you could buck for a position as technical lead like some people mentioned above - assuming there is one - or even consider switching companies into a position where you're happy and those on your team can benefit from your experience.

Also, from your post you strike me as quite an introverted fellow. Managerial positions typically suit people-person types that have a very extroverted style of management, but there are other styles that suit introverts more, and which might make the job much less stressful for you. I suggest you check out some books on this (afraid I can't remember any titles off the top of my head).

trio

It's not the first time I've seen this happen and it drives me batty. "Oh he's good at his job, lets give him the Team".

Even though it's a completely different job and it never seems to occur to them that people management needs training.

This happened to my best friend - excellent techie girl, was pressured/guilt tripped into taking on a large team. Went from someone who was happy out pottering away on her own work at her desk, to someone who was constantly having to give one-to-ones and performance reports (which made her so uncomfortable - these were her mates, and she was now judging them).

Then this team member started taking the p*ss and my friend found herself in the horrible position of having to kick her (increasingly former) mate up the arse and give verbal warnings....she became sick with anxiety, started dreading going to work, was now doing very little of her former job.

This person eventually had to be fired - but the process involved repeated verbal and then written warnings, then probation periods, then they'd fall back into old crappy work habits, so they had to go for another round of warnings etc etc....it went on for about a year! It was horrendous. And of course the person used to get very personal and imply it was a vendetta. Even though they openly spent half their day modding their personal fanpage!

Even when she was doing her own bits, they'd come up to her desk and start talking about holidays/disagreements with other workers/emotional crises/cramps.....she was constantly interrupted.

She ended up leaving the job to go to a tech position at another company. But not before having severe stress and upset for 18 months as a people manager.

By the way, she was told when she enquired about training "There aren't any training courses till next year - sorry! But sure just ask if you have any questions!"

Ickle Magoo

Moved from PI - think you'll get more relevant advice here, OP.

All the best. :cool:

Eoin

job dilemma wrote: »

Sorry for rambling but is it really such a bad thing to decline roles that ultimately will progress your career if such progression is not a priority for you?

No, it's not a bad thing at all. Career progression doesn't have to be measured by having direct reports or not anyway. You don't say what type of technical job you do, but if for example it was IT, then system architecture is an example of a senior role which doesn't need to involve people management.

job dilemma wrote: »

but I do think people management is not for everyone even if you are deemed capable for it by your seniors.

I totally agree. It's a job in its own right, and not a skill that automatically comes with years of service or seniority/proficiency in another role.

Mrs OBumble

Sleepy wrote: »

Could you offer to be a half-way house and assume a Team-lead role?

Don't do it - it's the worst of both worlds: you have all the responsibility, and none of the authority or information needed to have real influence.

OP, nothing wrong with it at all, provided you're happy to stay in a tech role. It might annoy your boss's boss, but they'll get over it if you're performing well in the tech job adn giving great support to whatever manager they put in.

The only downer comes if they promote one of your colleages who's less competent instead, and you have to work to an idiot. I've agreed to team-manager type roles a couple of times in order to avoid that happening.

Eoin

JustMary wrote: »

Don't do it - it's the worst of both worlds: you have all the responsibility, and none of the authority or information needed to have real influence.

Maybe it varies from place to place, but I don't agree - you can be the lead for the technical stuff without having to deal with the HR headache.

Wanderer2010

OP, there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to stay where you are and refuse the maganer role, its a very very common issue. I have been in my job 5 years now and twice been encouraged to go for promotion but I simply dont want the hassle of managing people/giving warnings/doing performance reviews etc, not everyone is cut out for it and theres nothing wrong with that. Just explain, as has been advised, that you are not interested in any further position and are happy where you are, I hope that does the trick, the company is lucky to have you as a dedicated and loyal employee, the best of luck.

Victor

Ask for some personnel management and leadership/confidence training.

mikemac1

When team leaders are appointed around here they are sent on an external weekend course to help them.

Some of the material they get is very interesting
Like dealing with cocky arrogant employees and also dealing with the quiet staff lacking in confidence.
How to get the best out of them
A diagram showing personality types

It's all very interesting, that's just the bit I remember
Trying to match my personality to the chart, scarily accurate!

Loads of places run them
City & Guilds is one, not sure if they operate in Ireland
http://www.i-l-m.com/centres.aspx


Your work would pay for it
Good call by Victor

boobar

I wouldn't over analyse this OP.

You seem to be very capable in your current job and also seem to be quite happy. Plus you're on a good salary. And you seem to have a good life outside work.

I think you know what you want yourself.

I was also looking at a promotion recently:

Extra money, extra responsibility, extra commute (extra 3 hours per day). And it looked like my dream job as well, but I'm content where I am, get to go home not thinking about work, spending time with the family and am on a reasonably good wage. So I made the same call you did, no thanks.

You don't have to feel awkward about this by the way, sounds like management thinks you're a bit of a legend. So take it as a vote of confidence, but still do what makes you happy.

LegacyUser

Hi OP here again.
Thank you all for your advice. I really found it helpful and it made me feel good and not so guilty about following my instinct. I think therefore that I will follow my instinct and remain in the role that I'm happy with. To those of you who said to go for the manager role and take part in personnel/leadership courses etc to help me with it, tbh that would just be facilitating a job role change I don't want in the first place. The confidence type courses would be something to look at alright though as that would benefit me both professionally and personally.

Opticom

I do not want to manage people

Don't do it. You can always go up, but you can't go back. You know yourself best and that's your wisdom talking there, not lack of confidence. It's work to live not live to work. A lot of people aspire to reaching a point in their career when they can say they are happy where they are, so don't give that up.

Bandana boy

I would be worried about what happens a couple of years down the line.You never know who could end up being your manager.
It could be somebody who feels threatened by you or just somebody who does not rate your skills as highly and by turning down these promotions you have put your own destiny out of your own hands.

I know people who shied away from the people management part but still had increased responsibility over time and successful and rewarding careers.

I also know people who have struggled with People management skills and because of this they worked harder at it and ended up being truly excellent managers.

Maybe take some time between this opportunity and the next to explore some classes and books on managing people it might be something that will hold less fear if you see and hear more about it.

boobar

Opticom wrote: »

Don't do it. You can always go up, but you can't go back. You know yourself best and that's your wisdom talking there, not lack of confidence. It's work to live not live to work. A lot of people aspire to reaching a point in their career when they can say they are happy where they are, so don't give that up.

Well said,

And also OP this may not be something you want right now.

But in a few years you could look at it again.

But for now OP I think you know what you want, best of luck.

the_syco

OP: as Victor has said, do the "personnel management and leadership/confidence training", but do it in your own time, to have it as an ace up your sleeve.