How do you succeed at work when.......

pragmatic1

you're not willing to lick arse and be a false twat.

AnonoBoy

I don't work in a brothel so this isn't an issue for me.

Lumbo

Sleep with the boss

aaronjumper

You don't. Licking arse is all part of climbing your way to success, at which point you are rewarded by having lots of people try and lick yours.

El_Dangeroso

You own the company.

Hande hoche!

Iron will.

pragmatic1

AnonoBoy wrote: »

I don't work in a brothel so this isn't an issue for me.

God dammit

af_thefragile

By stop wasting time on the internet and getting to the work!!

flutterflye

Work for yourself?
Get a job that doesn't involve that many people?
I don't know - I'd love to know the answer myself - I know exactly what you're saying.

pragmatic1

af_thefragile wrote: »

By stop wasting time on the internet and getting to the work!!

Lickarse.

mcmoustache

Choose a job that can't be done by just anyone and be good at it.

If your job could be done by Jacyntha from the flats, get on your knees now and start sucking.

The King of Moo

Just go around telling people what to do. Do it with enough confidence and people won't question you. You'll be promoted in no time.

stmol32

pragmatic1 wrote: »

.... be a false twat.

I used to work in a subway shop where you had to wear a foam meatball sub suit and hand out flyers.... so do you work in the rotunda then?

Nodin

pragmatic1 wrote: »

you're not willing to lick arse and be a false twat.

...ride the boss?

Scioch

Find something to blackmail somebody with.

aaronjumper

The King of Moo wrote: »

Just go around telling people what to do. Do it with enough confidence and people won't question you. You'll be promoted in no time.

Is this how you took over Moo?

hondasam

pragmatic1 wrote: »

you're not willing to lick arse and be a false twat.

If you are good at your job you will not need to do the above.

Nodin

hondasam wrote: »

If you are good at your job you will not need to do the above.

....depending where you work.

pragmatic1

mcmoustache wrote: »

Choose a job that can't be done by just anyone and be good at it.

If your job could be done by Jacyntha from the flats, get on your knees now and start sucking.

I have a fairly high skilled job. Think I'll just have to be ruthless and start fcukin people over.

The King of Moo

aaronjumper wrote: »

Is this how you took over Moo?

Absolutely. One day I just peremptorily commanded three young lads on the street to carry my litter.

Of course I didn't actually have a litter so they just carried me to the bus stop in their arms, but I've never looked back from there.

Pottler

pragmatic1 wrote: »

you're not willing to lick arse and be a false twat.

be really good at what you do. You can then pretty much be any way you like as long as what you do makes money, either for your company, or saves your customers a major headache. I've always told it like it is and treat pretty much everyone the same but on the flip side, I'm a bstard to work. You can pretty much take me or leave me on the personality front-I don't try and be your buddy - most clients don't care, the ones that do can fcuk right off.:)

hondasam

Nodin wrote: »

....depending where you work.

That's true I suppose. Sometimes the right person is overlooked.

crazygeryy

How can you soar like an eagle when your surrounded by turkeys.

The King of Moo

crazygeryy wrote: »

How can you soar like an eagle when your surrounded by turkeys.

Be an eagle.

aaronjumper

crazygeryy wrote: »

How can you soar like an eagle when your surrounded by turkeys.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iV6539XsWrc

Your statement reminded me of this.

Bad Panda

Contracting FTW!

shopaholic01

Give 150% - work harder than everyone else, never complain, always volunteer for all the sh1t jobs, get into work first in the morning and be the last to leave. Most of all, hope the boss notices........


TBH, it's easier to lick arse.

UglyBolloxFace

pragmatic1 wrote: »

you're not willing to lick arse and be a false twat.

Maybe you could try falsing arse and licking twat instead?

You're welcome.

Birroc

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Give 150% - work harder than everyone else, never complain, always volunteer for all the sh1t jobs, get into work first in the morning and be the last to leave. Most of all, hope the boss notices........

Will you be delighted you did all that on your deathbed?
Unless you love your job, I doubt it and you will probably die 'early' due to the stress of wanting to be 'loved'...

af_thefragile

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Give 150% - work harder than everyone else, never complain, always volunteer for all the sh1t jobs, get into work first in the morning and be the last to leave. Most of all, hope the boss notices........


TBH, it's easier to lick arse.

Doesn't work, the arse licker will still get all the recognition...


Just do what you can and be happy with what you have... If your jobs requires you to lick arses to move ahead, then it really isn't worth your time, as long as you're getting paid to do it...

Mr. CooL ICE

If your boss got where he/she is by licking arse, then the cycle will continue ad infinitum.

Your only hope can be change job, assuming you want your dignity intact.

shopaholic01

Birroc wrote: »

Will you be delighted you did all that on your deathbed?
Unless you love your job, I doubt it and you will probably die 'early' due to the stress of wanting to be 'loved'...

I don't do it, read the last part of my post.

af_thefragile wrote: »

Doesn't work, the arse licker will still get all the recognition...

Exactly, it's always the easiest and most successful route. Work is just a means of financing your personal life - make it as hassle free as possible.

af_thefragile

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Exactly, it's always the easiest and most successful route. Work is just a means of financing your personal life - make it as hassle free as possible.

It still takes skill to lick arses.

I really don't know how to do that which is one reason why I always get left behind... I guess I'm just too shy to push myself forward though, I never ask anyone for anything...

You do need a certain amount of balls to go ahead and suck upto someone and then have the confidence to make sure you're not gonna make an arse out of yourself and then have the wits to get ahead by doing it too.

Its a whole different set of skills themselves. Too bad they don't teach that in college along with all the other crap they teach you although you can still see the "good" students quickly learning these skills and getting ahead of others in college too and then they continue that at their workplace...

shopaholic01

af_thefragile wrote: »

It still takes skill to lick arses.

I really don't know how to do that which is one reason why I always get left behind... I guess I'm just too shy to push myself forward though, I never ask anyone for anything...

You do need a certain amount of balls to go ahead and suck upto someone and then have the confidence to make sure you're not gonna make an arse out of yourself and then have the wits to get ahead by doing it too.

Its a whole different set of skills themselves. Too bad they don't teach that in college along with all the other crap they teach you although you can still see the "good" students quickly learning these skills and getting ahead of others in college too and then they continue that at their workplace...

Just start by agreeing with the right people - it's amazing how egotistical people at the top can be. You openly agree with them and eventually they see you as someone who is similar to them, pretty soon they approach you more and more.

Take an acting class, public speaking course etc to help overcome your shyness. Improving your self confidence often begins with learning how to feign self confidence.

I noticed in some of your previous posts that you are quite hard on yourself, unfortunately people will notice this and see this as a lack of ability. It's easy to say but take yourself out of your comfort zone and you may surprise yourself.

Wompa1

Make yourself as irreplaceable as possible. Especially if you are in Ireland, most places I worked there my colleagues did their shift and nothing more. They didn't take initiative or volunteer to teach themselves new things etc.

If you do that, you don't have to be kissing up or paying any lip service to anybody and you then become a potentially bigger loss to the company and so they will try to keep you happy.

eth0

pragmatic1 wrote: »

you're not willing to lick arse and be a false twat.

Write code that nobody can maintain or even understand.

Gary4279

Always have excel open......you'll look like a ****ing genius and nobody will even attempt to question you.