Have you ever made love to a married woman/man?

Hardonraging

shopaholic01 wrote: »

With that username I hope not ...........;)

A+

Hardonraging

Might i add ignorance is bliss ...

hondasam

Domo230 wrote: »

They have the right to know and if they decide to end the relationship or never trust the person again or in some way punish the person who cheated then that is their choice to make.

Only cowards do not accept the responsibilities for their mistakes. People who don't do not deserve to be in relationships.

I agree with this if it's an affair but if it's just a few times then you have to decide what is best in the long run.
Sometime's what you don't know will not bother you.

RDM_83 again

Wibbs wrote: »

Yea noticed that one myself H. Must... resist hitting the rolleyes smiley.

Haven't myself, though have had affairs with women with boyfriends alright. Personally I'd draw the line at married.

To be fair I get the hypocrisy of it considering as its the guys that are cheating, my issue was with the idea that some one who serially sleeps with married guys doesn't have some level of issues. Those guys that have affairs clearly have issues at the very least their b@stards!

Out of curiosity about the sleeping with people in relationships thing is that a moral line in the sand? Like as someone who mods lots of forums full of personal issues type stuff, you'd be aware of the fact that there''s loads of people not married who have their lives just as intertwined/level of commitment as those that are.

RDM_83 again

hondasam wrote: »

I agree with this if it's an affair but if it's just a few times then you have to decide what is best in the long run.
Sometime's what you don't know will not bother you.

I get that about a once of guilty kiss that the person severely regrets like in that anonymous, but isn't that whole attitude of "sometime's what you don't know won't bother you" just really disrespectful of your OH, by doing that your basically deciding how you think they'd feel about events.

prinz

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

The judgmental type, prinz will be giving you a lecture any minute now.

Yes I'm the judgmental type, in fact the only reason was responding to sydney at all was because of this gag..

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=79175607&postcount=25

Other posters have referred to sydney as a b@tch, troll, 'absolute bitch', basically as a slut........but yes it's me who's being judgmental/lecturing. I haven't been in anyway insulting or derogatory to Syd.

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

He'll be enquiring about your self esteem too.

I wonder why anyone would question the self-esteem of someone who gets a thrill out of cheating and thinks that sleeping with someone married is some kind of one up on the spouse at home... it's not like any other posters who have admitted to cheating have questioned their own self-esteem as a factor in cheating.....oh wait....they have.

hondasam

RDM_83 again wrote: »

I get that about a once of guilty kiss that the person severely regrets like in that anonymous, but isn't that whole attitude of "sometime's what you don't know won't bother you" just really disrespectful of your OH, by doing that your basically deciding how you think they'd feel about events.

Is is disrespectful but the alternative is going to hurt them more.
Every situation is different and sometimes honesty is the best policy but you have to be prepared for the fallout.
People often say they would prefer to know but then they can't cope with the truth and it's to late to undo it.

Nothingbetter2d

prinz wrote: »

Yes I'm the judgmental type, in fact the only reason was responding to sydney at all was because of this gag..

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=79175607&postcount=25

Other posters have referred to sydney as a b@tch, troll, 'absolute bitch', basically as a slut........but yes it's me who's being judgmental/lecturing. I haven't been in anyway insulting or derogatory to Syd.



I wonder why anyone would question the self-esteem of someone who gets a thrill out of cheating and thinks that sleeping with someone married is some kind of one up on the spouse at home... it's not like any other posters who have admitted to cheating have questioned their own self-esteem as a factor in cheating.....oh wait....they have.

i think syndey is cool... one of the few boardsie left here with a good sense of humour

Shryke

Domo230 wrote: »

Nothing childish about not lying to your partner.

If you didn't wan't to hurt them then maybe you shouldn't have cheated. Damage is already done and you have already hurt them whether or not they are aware of it yet. And yes it is the height of selfishness and cowardice to not own up to your mistakes.

They have the right to know and if they decide to end the relationship or never trust the person again or in some way punish the person who cheated then that is their choice to make.

Logical fallacy there. You haven't hurt them unless they know. If a person makes a mistake it's not the end of the world and it's up to their own discretion how to act.
Nobody has any rights. There are no rights with something like this. It's sometimes a better option not to tell a person if it's going to damage them.
You're going on in a very black and white fashion my friend. That's not how life is.

hondasam

Domo230 wrote: »

Nonsense

It doesn't matter how many times you stab a person in the back

It's the fact that you stabbed them in the back that is why you should be punished. And it's not about whether it bothers you. If your consideration is for your own skin it's pure selfishness. If you lie to them about something as big as cheating then you don't give a **** about them and don't deserve to be in a relationship with them.

The fact you use the word ''punished'' makes me think you are living in the dark ages.
We see it differently and that's fine but it's not inconsiderate to want to save someone from hurt and pain, mistakes happen and you move on and learn from them.

Hardonraging

prinz wrote: »

Yes I'm the judgmental type, in fact the only reason was responding to sydney at all was because of this gag..

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=79175607&postcount=25

Other posters have referred to sydney as a b@tch, troll, 'absolute bitch', basically as a slut........but yes it's me who's being judgmental/lecturing. I haven't been in anyway insulting or derogatory to Syd.



I wonder why anyone would question the self-esteem of someone who gets a thrill out of cheating and thinks that sleeping with someone married is some kind of one up on the spouse at home... it's not like any other posters who have admitted to cheating have questioned their own self-esteem as a factor in cheating.....oh wait....they have.

I'm just quoting you here as you've paraphrased s a few of the coment's
that have been directed at syd..

Personally, it's everything that;s wrong with society, we weren't built to be monogamous ..
Men are here to spread the seed, and wimmens are here to make us ham sandwiches and birth babies, If a guy wants to cheat on his wife, with a single woman, or a married woman, society says " ohh noess" vice versa for the woman, when she's done the ironing ..

Personally, i'd sleep with any woman, married single, sleeping etc.. infact when i've finished writing this reply im going to ride shopaholic01 and then Fiona maybe after the dinner...

RDM_83 again

hondasam wrote: »

Is is disrespectful but the alternative is going to hurt them more.
Every situation is different and sometimes honesty is the best policy but you have to be prepared for the fallout.
People often say they would prefer to know but then they can't cope with the truth and it's to late to undo it.

I get that point. In most relationships there's an express expectation of honesty and fidelity when people become 'exclusive' by deciding whats best for your partner to hear isn't about them not 'coping' its about the guilty parties own fears for the relationship ending or changing.

PS I know everything isnt black and white.

if you want to "save someone from hurt and pain" don't cheat on them in the first place
and if you don't tell, the only one you're "saving from hurt and pain" is yourself

prinz

hondasam wrote: »

.... mistakes happen and you move on and learn from them.

They do, but you generally learn from them before they happen a 'just a few times'.

Personally I'd be a lot more offended by somebody keeping that from me if I found out later than if they just fronted up and told me straight out when it happened.. it'd strike me as them being in the wrong, and then trying to claim the high moral ground by keeping it to themselves to 'protect me'. If they were all that interested in my feelings they wouldn't have cheated to begin with.

shopaholic01

Hardonraging wrote: »

I'm just quoting you here as you've paraphrased s a few of the coment's
that have been directed at syd..

Personally, it's everything that;s wrong with society, we weren't built to be monogamous ..
Men are here to spread the seed, and wimmens are here to make us ham sandwiches and birth babies, If a guy wants to cheat on his wife, with a single woman, or a married woman, society says " ohh noess" vice versa for the woman, when she's done the ironing ..

Personally, i'd sleep with any woman, married single, sleeping etc.. infact when i've finished writing this reply im going to ride shopaholic01 and then Fiona maybe after the dinner...

Will I enjoy it

hondasam

RDM_83 again wrote: »

I get that point. In most relationships there's an express expectation of honesty and fidelity when people become 'exclusive' by deciding whats best for your partner to hear isn't about them not 'coping' its about the guilty parties own fears for the relationship ending or changing.

PS I know everything isnt black and white.

I don't think it's about the relationship ending it's more about how disappointed your partner will be and how you will cope with the pain and hurt you have caused.
The relationship will change and you would be mad to think otherwise. I still think if it's not an affair then it's better to say nothing.

hondasam

bluewolf wrote: »

if you want to "save someone from hurt and pain" don't cheat on them in the first place
and if you don't tell, the only one you're "saving from hurt and pain" is yourself

In an ideal world with perfect people this would work but it's not an ideal world and some of us are not perfect.

Hardonraging

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Will I enjoy it

Ye should it's good steak ..

Hardonraging

Hardonraging wrote: »

Personally, i'd sleep with any woman, married single, sleeping etc.. infact when i've finished writing this reply im going to ride shopaholic01 and then Fiona maybe after the dinner...

Get in line pal. :pac:

prinz

Nothingbetter2d wrote: »

i think syndey is cool... one of the few boardsie left here with a good sense of humour

There's a 'salt of the earth/whatchya lookin' a'/howaya' charm there alright :pac: Which is what led me to the Adrian Kennedy question to begin with.

Temptamperu

Never made love, f*cked two though.

Fiona

Hardonraging wrote: »

. infact when i've finished writing this reply im going to ride shopaholic01 and then Fiona maybe after the dinner...

Wooo I am touched

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Will I enjoy it

Do we have to share him

aaronjumper

hondasam wrote: »

In an ideal world with perfect people this would work but it's not an ideal world and some of us are not perfect.

Not really, this is not an ideal world and we are far from perfect but lots of people do not cheat. It would work if people would put the effort in.
We all have baser instincts but we also have the ability to control them, in most cases.

prinz

Domo230 wrote: »

This notion that they are lying for the good of their partners is complete horse****.

Strikes me as a sort of get out of jail free card. Instead of focusing on trying to be better people, we have time and effort being put into finding ways to weasel out of facing up to the fall-out of our actions.

mauzo

prinz wrote: »

Nothingbetter2d wrote: »

i think syndey is cool... one of the few boardsie left here with a good sense of humour

There's a 'salt of the earth/whatchya lookin' a'/howaya' charm there alright :pac: Which is what led me to the Adrian Kennedy question to begin with.

That solves that so, wasn't me you heard on the radio. Although when I was on air, some girl did ring in giving out hards to me for what I was on for, and it wasn't sleeping with married people.

Unfortunately you have me confused with someone else

PhlegmyMoses

It's all well and good sparing a person's feelings until the person you were messing around with turns out to be mental and turns up at your door announcing their undying love. Or, you know, they just hear from a friend of a friend.

At this point you have done the most damage you possibly could as you have had them staying with you like an idiot and they didn't hear it from you, but somebody else. Gossip.

hooradiation

bluewolf wrote: »

and if you don't tell, the only one you're "saving from hurt and pain" is yourself

You say that like it's a bad thing.

prinz

syndeyfife wrote: »

That solves that so, wasn't me you heard on the radio. Although when I was on air, some girl did ring in giving out hards to me for what I was on for, and it wasn't sleeping with married people. Unfortunately you have me confused with someone else

I never actually thought it was you. :pac: I said it as a joke because your first post sounded like something you would hear on it.

Scanlas The 2nd

prinz wrote: »

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

The judgmental type, prinz will be giving you a lecture any minute now.

Yes I'm the judgmental type, in fact the only reason was responding to sydney at all was because of this gag..

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=79175607&postcount=25

Other posters have referred to sydney as a b@tch, troll, 'absolute bitch', basically as a slut........but yes it's me who's being judgmental/lecturing. I haven't been in anyway insulting or derogatory to Syd.

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

He'll be enquiring about your self esteem too.

I wonder why anyone would question the self-esteem of someone who gets a thrill out of cheating and thinks that sleeping with someone married is some kind of one up on the spouse at home... it's not like any other posters who have admitted to cheating have questioned their own self-esteem as a factor in cheating.....oh wait....they have.

It was light hearted, no offence intended.

hondasam

hondasam wrote: »

In an ideal world with perfect people this would work but it's not an ideal world and some of us are not perfect.

There's a world of difference between "we all make mistakes we're not perfect" and pontificating and moralising about how not telling is the right thing to do

Hardonraging

Domo230 wrote: »

Morally people are entitled to justice for crimes committed against them. Whether those crimes be legal or purely moral crimes.

The reason why most people won't tell is because they are cowards, too afraid to have the relationship end or to deal with any of the other consequences.

This notion that they are lying for the good of their partners is complete horse****.

There's two sides to every story, and while i can appreciate that in some situations it's better to say and be done with it.. let's use the example of a young couple with no kids .. no morgage etc ..


where as a family, maybe the husband's working, the wife's at home with 3 kids's no make up, an arse that's been outfitted with reverse sensor's..

Perhaps he should keep his yapp shut for the sake of the kids... his house, even if she knows, do you think it will help her ? she's no job, sure she'll get half the house , and the kids, but she wont be in a better place ..

Of course there's a small bus load of examples we could use, but in many cases, ignorance is bliss..

dr.bollocko

MOD:

Quit the goddamn disgusting flirting now.

Deploying flirt bot shortly.

Persistent offenders may shortly be banned.

RDM_83 again

I'm going to stop reading this thread now because I want to save my 500th post for a thread that doesn't make me feel so f+cking depressed for people

It is also making me sound like a moralizing old man, but really this is 2012 you can probably have any type of relationship you want without too many people (that matter) judging you about it, just be f*cking honest about it too your partner and treat people the way you'd like others to treat you!

Sunnyisland

Beware of the Bunny boilers


http://www.google.ie/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=bunny%20boiler%20definition&source=web&cd=2&ved=0CGIQFjAB&url=http%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FBunny_boiler&ei=QK_YT-jpC4LQhAfO4M3dAw&usg=AFQjCNFTNVNAqXceE4k2YR1fLiTHvZpEcw

K-9

bluewolf wrote: »

if you want to "save someone from hurt and pain" don't cheat on them in the first place
and if you don't tell, the only one you're "saving from hurt and pain" is yourself

Indeed, it seems a bit personally convenient to be soooo considerate of their partners feelings all of a sudden!

Scioch

hondasam wrote: »

In an ideal world with perfect people this would work but it's not an ideal world and some of us are not perfect.

Some people seem to think we should ignore that fact though and deal with everything as if we did live in an ideal world. The word deluded comes to mind.

aaronjumper

LordSmeg wrote: »

Some people seem to think we should ignore that fact though and deal with everything as if we did live in an ideal world. The word deluded comes to mind.

Or you could read my previous post. It's not deluded to think we should treat each other better.

Scioch

aaronjumper wrote: »

Or you could read my previous post. It's not deluded to think we should treat each other better.

Its delusional to expect everyone to live like saints. No relationship is perfect, no relationship will ever be perfect and to judge people by comparing them to an impossible thing such as the perfect relationship is delusional.

People make mistakes and meet other people, fall in love, lose interest in partners all the time. That is reality, and if those things happen then its damage control in trying to protect your partner by shielding them from those things. Nobody does these things to hurt anyone its just an unfortunate consequence.

To come along and say "its not right, you shouldnt have cheated, you cant love someone if you cheat, you should own up, its the right thing to do" is utterly ridiculous and pointless. People are not perfect, they will make mistakes and those mistakes do not make them uncaring monsters. You cant hold everyone to the standards of a perfect society when society will never be perfect.

cojomo2

malachyscott wrote: »

Fat chance of that. Your either a troll or an absolute bitch. Seriously how can you not have any thought for the wife of the men your sleeping with? Your in for the sex only but do you not realise that a fellow woman is being left broken hearted because ofyour his actions.

Theres plenty of single men out there who could give you anything you wanted. Give them a try, you'll make yourself a lot less enemies. Keep your legs closed to married men even if they want it too. Treat others as you would like to be treated. You wouldn't like your future husband to be sleeping around with some slut.

fixed that for you.

Potatoeman

I think it’s only ok if they are having issues and not sleeping with their partner. A friend of mine cheated on his wife recently as they hadn’t had sex in six months.

aaronjumper

LordSmeg wrote: »

Its delusional to expect everyone to live like saints. No relationship is perfect, no relationship will ever be perfect and to judge people by comparing them to an impossible thing such as the perfect relationship is delusional.

People make mistakes and meet other people, fall in love, lose interest in partners all the time. That is reality, and if those things happen then its damage control in trying to protect your partner by shielding them from those things. Nobody does these things to hurt anyone its just an unfortunate consequence.

To come along and say "its not right, you shouldnt have cheated, you cant love someone if you cheat, you should own up, its the right thing to do" is utterly ridiculous and pointless. People are not perfect, they will make mistakes and those mistakes do not make them uncaring monsters. You cant hold everyone to the standards of a perfect society when society will never be perfect.

With an attitude like that, no it is not possible. If you're going to say "well we are all flawed, so why bother" then you've already lost.

Surely if a few people can manage it, it cannot be that difficult.
If you try to be better, then there is a better chance for success.

mauzo

cojomo2 wrote: »

malachyscott wrote: »

Fat chance of that. Your either a troll or an absolute bitch. Seriously how can you not have any thought for the wife of the men your sleeping with? Your in for the sex only but do you not realise that a fellow woman is being left broken hearted because ofyour his actions.

Theres plenty of single men out there who could give you anything you wanted. Give them a try, you'll make yourself a lot less enemies. Keep your legs closed to married men even if they want it too. Treat others as you would like to be treated. You wouldn't like your future husband to be sleeping around with some slut.

fixed that for you.

You know a post is funny when you laugh again after its bumped!!

lukesmom

No because when I made my vows almost 3 years ago I meant every word of them. I would be absolutely devestated if my husband cheated on me and there is no way I would stay in the relationship, this is a deal breaker for me.

Why do people get married if they are going to cheat?????? I don't mean one off stupid drunken huge mistakes that you admit to and sort out between yourselves, I mean the many many married couples that are cheating on their partners every damn weekend. I know too many men that cheat. One in particular cheated the weekend after his wedding and has been having an affair with another woman for months, yet he still went through with his wedding. Why bother dragging your whole family abroad to your wedding when you are shagging somebody else at every given chance???

I know people call the 'other woman' or 'other man' a homewrecker but they aren't actually cheating as they aren't in the relationship. They are doing nothing wrong compared to the husband/wife that cheats. That is a whole other level of lowness. Having said that though when there are children involved it is particularly sad.

Scanlas The 2nd

Potatoeman wrote: »

I think it’s only ok if they are having issues and not sleeping with their partner. A friend of mine cheated on his wife recently as they hadn’t had sex in six months.

Why was there no sex in his relationship for six months?

Scioch

aaronjumper wrote: »

With an attitude like that, no it is not possible. If you're going to say "well we are all flawed, so why bother" then you've already lost.

Surely if a few people can manage it, it cannot be that difficult.
If you try to be better, then there is a better chance for success.

No thats not what I'm saying at all. Your talking about personally trying to aspire to be what you believe to be a good person. Thats fine, I'm not saying people shouldnt aspire to be good people.

I'm talking about judging others on the fact they are not the great person you yourself aspire to be. You will never be who you want to be because that person doesnt exist. People make mistakes and fcuk up and circumstances change and people change, thats unavoidable. If all you have to do is aspire to be perfect to be perfect then we'd all be perfect. But you cant just decide your going to be perfect its always a work in progress and along the way your going to make a hell of a lot of mistakes.

So to expect everyone to be perfect and not make mistakes is delusional.

Potatoeman

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Why was there no sex in his relationship for six months?

She wasn't interested.

LordSmeg

LordSmeg wrote: »

No thats not what I'm saying at all. Your talking about personally trying to aspire to be what you believe to be a good person. Thats fine, I'm not saying people shouldnt aspire to be good people.

I'm talking about judging others on the fact they are not the great person you yourself aspire to be. You will never be who you want to be because that person doesnt exist. People make mistakes and fcuk up and circumstances change and people change, thats unavoidable. If all you have to do is aspire to be perfect to be perfect then we'd all be perfect. But you cant just decide your going to be perfect its always a work in progress and along the way your going to make a hell of a lot of mistakes.

So to expect everyone to be perfect and not make mistakes is delusional.

Nobody is expecting people to be perfect. Cheating aside, all this pretense that it's for the good of your partner to lie to them is nonsense. If you really acknowledge you made a mistake then own up to it instead of pretending it's the right thing to do to lie

Scanlas The 2nd

Potatoeman wrote: »

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Why was there no sex in his relationship for six months?

She wasn't interested.

IMO its selfish for one partner to withhold sex if they won't let the other have sex outside the relationship.

Fiona

lukesmom wrote: »

No because when I made my vows almost 3 years ago I meant every word of them. I would be absolutely devestated if my husband cheated on me and there is no way I would stay in the relationship, this is a deal breaker for me.

Why do people get married if they are going to cheat?????? I don't mean one off stupid drunken huge mistakes that you admit to and sort out between yourselves

I meant every word of my vows as well when I said them I never went into my marriage thinking I would have an affair.

And I honestly believed my husband when he said he would change after we got married and that he would make me the happiest and proudest woman in the world :rolleyes:

Micky Dolenz

Long term monogamy is unnatural.