Have you ever made love to a married woman/man?

Scioch

bluewolf wrote: »

Nobody is expecting people to be perfect. Cheating aside, all this pretense that it's for the good of your partner to lie to them is nonsense. If you really acknowledge you made a mistake then own up to it instead of pretending it's the right thing to do to lie

You are expecting them to be perfect though if you hold the view that cheating means they dont care for their partner.

If I made a mistake and cheated on my girlfriend tonight that in no way means I cannot have feelings for my girlfriend and want to protect her from the pain of having to deal with the whole thing.

You say its pretending to care and its all selfishly motivated because you expect everyone that loves and cares for their partners to be perfect and not do anything to cause them grief. I'm not perfect, nobody is perfect and mistakes will be made.

flutterflye

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

IMO its selfish for one partner to withhold sex if they won't let the other have sex outside the relationship.

There are many physical, mental, emotional reasons which could lead to long periods without sex.
You can't just say it's selfish!
You have no idea why the woman didn't want sex - maybe she was raped, maybe she'd lost a baby, maybe she had some infection - who knows?!
God, people can be so ignorant!!

aaronjumper

LordSmeg wrote: »

No thats not what I'm saying at all. Your talking about personally trying to aspire to be what you believe to be a good person. Thats fine, I'm not saying people shouldnt aspire to be good people.

I'm talking about judging others on the fact they are not the great person you yourself aspire to be. You will never be who you want to be because that person doesnt exist. People make mistakes and fcuk up and circumstances change and people change, thats unavoidable. If all you have to do is aspire to be perfect to be perfect then we'd all be perfect. But you cant just decide your going to be perfect its always a work in progress and along the way your going to make a hell of a lot of mistakes.

So to expect everyone to be perfect and not make mistakes is delusional.

I'm not talking about being perfect though. I'm talking about having enough common decency to not cheat on your OH. I know people make mistakes but to betray someones trust like that, just seems wrong.

Scioch

^^ Just in addition to that I suppose its the debate about whether or not telling someone the truth is more important than how it will affect them.

Do you really owe anyone the truth ? Would you not think someone's happiness is more important than your own sense of right and wrong in relation to something ?

I personally see someone's happiness as more important than my own notion of the right and wrong thing. If I knew something that would cause someone great pain I wouldnt tell them if they didnt need to know.

Micky Dolenz

flutterflye wrote: »

There are many physical, mental, emotional reasons which could lead to long periods without sex.
You can't just say it's selfish!
You have no idea why the woman didn't want sex - maybe she was raped, maybe she'd lost a baby, maybe she had some infection - who knows?!
God, people can be so ignorant!!

Maybe she needs to get her issues sorted for the sake of their relationship.

A sex less marriage is like living with a parent/friend/sibling.

flutterflye

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Long term monogamy is unnatural.

In homosapiens, it is neither natural or unnatural.
It seems to be somewhere in the middle - so I guess it's up to us to decide.

What I do know though is that someone shouldn't commit to long term monogamy if they don't intend to remain monogamous.

LordSmeg

LordSmeg wrote: »

You are expecting them to be perfect though if you hold the view that cheating means they dont care for their partner.

If I made a mistake and cheated on my girlfriend tonight that in no way means I cannot have feelings for my girlfriend and want to protect her from the pain of having to deal with the whole thing.

You say its pretending to care and its all selfishly motivated because you expect everyone that loves and cares for their partners to be perfect and not do anything to cause them grief. I'm not perfect, nobody is perfect and mistakes will be made.

What are you talking about?
I'm talking about lying about the cheating. I'm talking about all the posts, yours included, saying that people want to shelter their partner from the hurt of telling them. So yes, that does imply that people love and care for their partners if that's the excuse being given on thread. I think it's a load of sh!te, but I'm not the one who came up with it.
Constantly saying "I'm not perfect" doesn't change the fact that people are posting that lying to their partners will leave the partners happier, sheltered, and generally better off. Whatever about mistakes, that is very deliberate.

Scioch

aaronjumper wrote: »

I'm not talking about being perfect though. I'm talking about having enough common decency to not cheat on your OH. I know people make mistakes but to betray someones trust like that, just seems wrong.

But that is expecting everyone to be perfect in that regard. Where does the betrayal of trust start and end ? I assume if it counts for this it also counts for everything else in the relationship too ? You cant upset them or do them wrong in any way or your betraying them in some manner. So your expecting them to be perfect. If people didnt make mistakes they would be perfect and your saying people shouldnt make mistakes.

teemm

Yes, several times. No qualms about it, no guilt. Only way I can get sex.

aaronjumper

LordSmeg wrote: »

^^ Just in addition to that I suppose its the debate about whether or not telling someone the truth is more important than how it will affect them.

Do you really owe anyone the truth ? Would you not think someone's happiness is more important than your own sense of right and wrong in relation to something ?

I personally see someone's happiness as more important than my own notion of the right and wrong thing. If I knew something that would cause someone great pain I wouldnt tell them if they didnt need to know.

I can relate to that but not telling them that you have been cheating on them seems an odd time to become worried about their feelings.

Why not worry about it beforehand? It's all well and good developing 20/20 hindsight but surely there must be a voice of reason in the back of peoples heads saying that "this is wrong". Whether or not they decide to listen is another story.

Micky Dolenz

flutterflye wrote: »

In homosapiens, it is neither natural or unnatural.
It seems to be somewhere in the middle - so I guess it's up to us to decide.

What I do know though is that someone shouldn't commit to long term monogamy if they don't intend to remain monogamous.

People who enter it probably have the best intentions. Fast forward ten years and it's often a different story.

aaronjumper

LordSmeg wrote: »

But that is expecting everyone to be perfect in that regard. Where does the betrayal of trust start and end ? I assume if it counts for this it also counts for everything else in the relationship too ? You cant upset them or do them wrong in any way or your betraying them in some manner. So your expecting them to be perfect. If people didnt make mistakes they would be perfect and your saying people shouldnt make mistakes.

Making a mistake is generally attributed to not knowing that you would be causing harm.

Surely if you're screwing someone behind your partners back, you are keeping it a secret because you know that it is wrong and it would destroy them if they found out.

smash

Does anal count as making love?

flutterflye

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Maybe she needs to get her issues sorted for the sake of their relationship.

A sex less marriage is like living with a parent/friend/sibling.

The person in question withdrew from sex for a 6 month period.
If the man could not abstain for 6 months due to some reason unknown to us - then good god, that man does not deserve a wife!!!

Of course the woman should sort out her issues.
That is not debatable really is it?

The man should support her through whatever her issues are - not cheat on her!!

Anyway, this is all speculation - we have no idea about the ins and outs (:pac:) of other's relationships, so we shouldn't judge.

Scioch

bluewolf wrote: »

What are you talking about?
I'm talking about lying about the cheating. I'm talking about all the posts, yours included, saying that people want to shelter their partner from the hurt of telling them. So yes, that does imply that people love and care for their partners if that's the excuse being given on thread. I think it's a load of sh!te, but I'm not the one who came up with it.
Constantly saying "I'm not perfect" doesn't change the fact that people are posting that lying to their partners will leave the partners happier, sheltered, and generally better off. Whatever about mistakes, that is very deliberate.

Read my posts and you'd see what I was talking about. I'll try break it down though seeing as you dont seem to understand plain english all too good.

You think its a load of shíte when someone claims to want to protect their partner from the truth in relation to cheating.

Why ? Why is it a load of shíte ? Because the fact they cheated to you means they dont actually care or want to protect their partner. The fact that they are not perfect means their word is worthless, they cannot love their partner, they are nothing but selfish heartless creatures.

In other words a rather childish and simplistic view of the world and the people in it based on some deluded notion that everyone should be perfect.

flutterflye

smash wrote: »

Does anal count as making love?

Only if you do it tenderly enough.

smash

flutterflye wrote: »

smash wrote: »

Does anal count as making love?

Only if you do it tenderly enough.

That's a lot less fun

Scioch

aaronjumper wrote: »

I can relate to that but not telling them that you have been cheating on them seems an odd time to become worried about their feelings.

Why not worry about it beforehand?It's all well and good developing 20/20 hindsight but surely there must be a voice of reason in the back of peoples heads saying that "this is wrong". Whether or not they decide to listen is another story.

Hindsight is exactly what your basing your view on though. Your saying "dont make the mistake". Expecting everyone to be perfect.

I'm saying mistakes happen. People have to deal with them. Just because you made a mistake doesnt mean you do not care for your partner.

Micky Dolenz

flutterflye wrote: »

The person in question withdrew from sex for a 6 month period.
If the man could not abstain for 6 months due to some reason unknown to us - then good god, that man does not deserve a wife!!! .

You are clearly insane . 6 months? 6 days and Id be booking her in to the approaite professional. :pac:

shopaholic01

smash wrote: »

Does anal count as making love?

You coming out on boards smash:D? We'll all friends here.

smash

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

6 days and Id be booking her in to the approaite professional. :pac:

or just book yourself in to her. Set a reminder on her phone at 9pm

"15 minutes until the ride of your life"

And make sure you're standing there naked with a bottle of baby oil in your hand for when she turns to look at you after she reads her alarm!

smash

shopaholic01 wrote: »

You coming out on boards smash:D? We'll all friends here.

Giving... Not receiving :P

Scioch

aaronjumper wrote: »

Making a mistake is generally attributed to not knowing that you would be causing harm.

Surely if you're screwing someone behind your partners back, you are keeping it a secret because you know that it is wrong and it would destroy them if they found out.

No its doing something you later regret I'd call it. You may not think about the consequences at the time. Not out of lack of care for the feelings of your partner but because you are so taken with whats happening there and then.

aaronjumper

LordSmeg wrote: »

Hindsight is exactly what your basing your view on though. Your saying "dont make the mistake". Expecting everyone to be perfect.

I'm saying mistakes happen. People have to deal with them. Just because you made a mistake doesnt mean you do not care for your partner.

Again not expecting people to be perfect. To use a completely over the top example, would you have to bash in somebodys skull so that later you could look back and go "Okay, that was wrong, glad I've learned from that."?

Not every mistake has to be made to know that it would be bad.
Although I will grudgingly admit that I see what you are saying.

(I do get the feeling that neither of us will be backing down on this. It has become a stubborn battle of wills then! )

Why ? Why is it a load of shíte ? Because the fact they cheated to you means they dont actually care or want to protect their partner.

No, it means they made a mistake and now the right thing to do is own up to it. Not owning up to doing something wrong like that and pretending the cover up is to protect them is what I think is nonsense. It's self-preservation.

The fact that they are not perfect means their word is worthless, they cannot love their partner, they are nothing but selfish heartless creatures.

Now you're just making things up. You didn't get that from anything I said.

In other words a rather childish and simplistic view of the world and the people in it based on some deluded notion that everyone should be perfect.

You really think holding your hands up to someone you love and saying "look I made a mistake here" is "childish, simplistic and deluded"

shopaholic01

smash wrote: »

Giving... Not receiving :P

Sure .......... we believe you;)

Wibbs

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Long term monogamy is unnatural.

Depends on what you define as natural though. One thing about humans compared to other primates as far as sexuality* is concerned is their adaptability and variability in mating strategies. Monogamy is but one adaptation and variation, albeit a very strong and long lived one.

Before some suggest that this was alright in the past when people lived shorter lives, that's not quite the case. 1) 70 was common enough for much of human history and 2) people got married on average much younger than today throughout human history, so even if they only made it to 55 they would have been hitched from mid puberty(15/16).





*and things like food

Scioch

aaronjumper wrote: »

Again not expecting people to be perfect. To use a completely over the top example, would you have to bash in somebodys skull so that later you could look back and go "Okay, that was wrong, glad I've learned from that."?

You would to learn that bashing someone's skull in wasnt the best ideas you ever had. You dont have to do something to know its wrong but you do have to do it to regret doing it. So if you did smash someone's skull in I dont think you'd say you decided it was the best option and you were prepared for the fall out. You'd say you wernt thinking, it all just happened.

Not every mistake has to be made to know that it would be bad.
Although I will grudgingly admit that I see what you are saying.

(I do get the feeling that neither of us will be backing down on this. It has become a stubborn battle of wills then! )

You probably aint wrong there.

Sitec

If anyone does that and there is kids involved on either side, they deserve a kick in the bollocks/growler.

Scioch

bluewolf wrote: »

No, it means they made a mistake and now the right thing to do is own up to it. Not owning up to doing something wrong like that and pretending the cover up is to protect them is what I think is nonsense. It's self-preservation.

Why is the right thing to do to own up ? And how is not owning up purely self preservation ? Why do you refuse to accept someone can want to protect their partner from something that would hurt them?

Now you're just making things up. You didn't get that from anything I said.

No I'm not making anything up, this is what ~I have got from your posts. But if I'm wrong kindly answer the questions above and we'll clear it all up.

You really think holding your hands up to someone you love and saying "look I made a mistake here" is "childish, simplistic and deluded"

No I think its childish, simplistic and deluded to expect people not to make mistakes. And if they do to dismiss any claims of caring for someone else because they made those mistakes. But perhaps I was wrong in taking that as your view. We'll find out with the answers to the above questions.

hondasam

bluewolf wrote: »

There's a world of difference between "we all make mistakes we're not perfect" and pontificating and moralising about how not telling is the right thing to do

What is there to be achieved by telling it will hurt and cause pain to your partner. If you can live with the guilt it's better to spare them the heartache.

Scanlas The 2nd

flutterflye wrote: »

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

IMO its selfish for one partner to withhold sex if they won't let the other have sex outside the relationship.

There are many physical, mental, emotional reasons which could lead to long periods without sex.
You can't just say it's selfish!
You have no idea why the woman didn't want sex - maybe she was raped, maybe she'd lost a baby, maybe she had some infection - who knows?!
God, people can be so ignorant!!

In those circumstances it isn't selfish. In normal circumstances it is as you are ruining another persons sex life.

SafeSurfer

spoofilyj wrote: »

IMO sex should be earned not paid for.(

You will find that sex is subtly "paid for" in many relationships. Whether it be the bouquet of flowers to the expensive diamonds to the trophy wife or trophy toyboy.

One's willingness to have sex with someone can be based on all types of motivations, from the romantic to the practical.

aaronjumper

SafeSurfer wrote: »

You will find that sex is subtly "paid for" in many relationships. Whether it be the bouquet of flowers to the expensive diamonds to the trophy wife or trophy toyboy.

One's willingness to have sex with someone can be based on all types of motivations, from the romantic to the practical.

I believe that some people refer to it as "The knobstacle course"

smash

smash wrote: »

Giving... Not receiving :P

Do you give reach arounds as well? :pac:

Samich

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Rule no. 1 of adultery - never take photos

Rule no. 2 of adultery - never take photos

What's rule no 3?

efb

Probably- it was weird once when he answered a call from his son...

strobe

bluewolf wrote: »

No, it means they made a mistake and now the right thing to do is own up to it. Not owning up to doing something wrong like that and pretending the cover up is to protect them is what I think is nonsense. It's self-preservation.

Someone could easily say that someone owning up despite the fact it would be devastating to their partner is for the perpetrator's own relief from guilt or out of the fear that it will get back to their partner either way and they are as such just acting selfishly. One could say that someone trying to say that they are owning up out of some kind of righteous and selfless moral principle or doing it for their partner rather than themselves is nonsense...

...but I wouldn't say that Blue, because that would be me having the arrogance to presume I could say with confidence what other peoples thoughts and feelings and motivations were and saying I thought everyone, everywhere, acted in a certain way in a certain situation for exactly the same reasons, the reasons I have personally inferred with fatalistic certainty, without any first hand (or even second hand) knowledge of these peoples thoughts or feelings or motivations or basically knowing anything whatsoever about them.

It'd be silly to say that so it would, silly and arrogant and irrational. So I won't say that. That... would be nonsense.

Hardonraging

SafeSurfer wrote: »

You will find that sex is subtly "paid for" in many relationships. Whether it be the bouquet of flowers to the expensive diamonds to the trophy wife or trophy toyboy.

One's willingness to have sex with someone can be based on all types of motivations, from the romantic to the practical.

I find paying in jizz works out the best for all tbh ...

shopaholic01

Samich wrote: »

What's rule no 3?

See post#42 on pg 3

prinz

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Long term monogamy is unnatural.

It's amazing how often this crops up. Put it this way if someone were to say 'homosexuality is unnatural' the post would be jumped all over blah blah... but apparently it's ok to call my sex life because I plan on being monogamous with my wife unnatural? Why is it ok to call what I do unnatural? The usual response when someone says homosexuality is unnatrual is to point out the many instances of homosexuality in the natural world so I'll just leave a few examples here..

There are many monogamous species in the natural world, various species of birds, fish, insects etc.

LordSmeg wrote: »

I personally see someone's happiness as more important than my own notion of the right and wrong thing. If I knew something that would cause someone great pain I wouldnt tell them if they didnt need to know.

I think I'll go rob a bank, my OH could do with a few quid, might make her happy... and I haven't seen anyone say people should be 'perfect' either despite numerous references to it.

Scanlas The 2nd

prinz wrote: »

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Long term monogamy is unnatural.

It's amazing how often this crops up. Put it this way if someone were to say 'homosexuality is unnatural' the post would be jumped all over blah blah... but apparently it's ok to call my sex life because I plan on being monogamous with my wife unnatural? Why is it ok to call what I do unnatural? The usual response when someone says homosexuality is unnatrual is to point out the many instances of homosexuality in the natural world so I'll just leave a few examples here..

There are many monogamous species in the natural world, various species of birds, fish, insects etc.

LordSmeg wrote: »

I personally see someone's happiness as more important than my own notion of the right and wrong thing. If I knew something that would cause someone great pain I wouldnt tell them if they didnt need to know.

I think I'll go rob a bank, my OH could do with a few quid, might make her happy... and I haven't seen anyone say people should be 'perfect' either despite numerous references to it.

If it were natural to the human species humans wouldn't have such a problem with it. We are naturally promiscuous for the most part, monogamy for most is like slamming a square peg into a round hole.

I honestly think without the freedom to pursue sex/relationships with others people wilt, they don't have the same zest for life.

Scioch

prinz wrote: »

I think I'll go rob a bank, my OH could do with a few quid, might make her happy... and I haven't seen anyone say people should be 'perfect' either despite numerous references to it.

Lazy argument and stupid analogy. Equating robbing a bank with not being honest ?

Are you 100% honest with your wife at all times ? When she asks how she looks you tell her fat and ugly when she looks fat and ugly? When she asks where your going on a Friday night you say to the pub to get away from her for a few hours ? Or do you actually compromise and make an effort not to tell the truth if its going to cause her some grief ?

I'd presume its the latter like most others in the world. So it shouldnt come as such a shock to hear someone propose that telling someone something that may shatter their entire life might not be the best idea.

And expecting people not to make mistakes is expecting them to be perfect.

prinz

LordSmeg wrote: »

Lazy argument and stupid analogy. Equating robbing a bank with not being honest?

No, just taking your 'right and wrong is irrelevant when it comes to making someone happy.' Why not robbing a bank? Why not taking €20 from the till at work you buy your partner flowers or something.

LordSmeg wrote: »

Are you 100% honest with your wife at all times ? When she asks how she looks you tell her fat and ugly when she looks fat and ugly?

Yes. Not that she looks fat and ugly because she doesn't, but if she asks me if a certain item of clothing suits her no matter how much she likes it I'll tell her honestly my opinion. I have honestly told her a lot of things, such as not liking a time she dyed her hair etc. It's actually something I picked up from her, She comes from a culture where honesty and directness is second nature so she'd be pretty píssed off if I lied to her. She asks for my opinion because she wants it, she doesn't ask me to tell her what I think she wants to hear.

LordSmeg wrote: »

When she asks where your going on a Friday night you say to the pub to get away from her for a few hours?

We've both said when we need time to ourselves. Don't see the need to hide it tbh? It's only healthy to get time apart.

LordSmeg wrote: »

I'd presume its the latter like most others in the world. So it shouldnt come as such a shock to hear someone propose that telling someone something that may shatter their entire life might not be the best idea.

It isn't the latter. We tell each other what we think...and we don't do stuff that we then have to hide from each other. Simples. Keeps things great. No drama, no Dawsons Creek-esque "relationship" issues.

LordSmeg wrote: »

And expecting people not to make mistakes is expecting them to be perfect.

Deciding to cheat on your partner is not a mistake. It's a deliberate action. Compounding that be deciding not to tell your partner to protect his/her delicate sensitivities is not a mistake either.

Scioch

prinz wrote: »

No, just taking your 'right and wrong is irrelevant when it comes to making someone happy.' Why not robbing a bank? Why not taking €20 from the till
at work you buy your partner flowers or something.

Where did I say right and wrong was irrelevant when it came to making someone happy ? I'm questioning what is right and what is wrong not ignoring it .I think you have completely misunderstood what I was saying. I said that not owning up to cheating doesnt have to be purely self preserving. It can be done to protect someone from something that would upset them greatly.

Yes. Not that she looks fat and ugly because she doesn't, but if she asks me if a certain item of clothing suits her no matter how much she likes it I'll tell her honestly my opinion. I have honestly told her a lot of things, such as not liking a time she dyed her hair etc. It's actually something I picked up from her, She comes from a culture where honesty and directness is second nature so she'd be pretty píssed off if I lied to her. She asks for my opinion because she wants it, she doesn't ask me to tell her what she wants to hear.

I find it hard to believe that you would be 100% honest in everything you say. Perhaps you havent encountered a situation where you had to protect her from the truth or something you felt would impact her a lot though so I wont question your honesty. We all do and think things we dont want anyone to know about so we have to compromise a lot in every day life. Its a much bigger issue for something like cheating where owning up may hugely affect someone. As a previous poster said perhaps owning up is putting your need to avoid guilt before the happiness of your partner. Its not just a case of do the right thing, be honest and your selfish and uncaring if you dont.

Deciding to cheat on your partner is not a mistake. It's a deliberate action. Compounding that be deciding not to tell your partner to protect his/her delicate sensitivities is not a mistake either.

Mistakes are deliberate actions later regretted. Your confusing mistake with accident. Deciding not to tell someone something may be seen as a mistake later but so can telling someone something which hurts them.

prinz

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

If it were natural to the human species humans wouldn't have such a problem with it. We are naturally promiscuous for the most part, monogamy for most is like slamming a square peg into a round hole..

I don't think the majority of people have any problem staying monogamous to the person they are in a relationship with.

prinz

LordSmeg wrote: »

Where did I say right and wrong was irrelevant when it came to making someone happy ?

More important..

LordSmeg wrote: »

I personally see someone's happiness as more important than my own notion of the right and wrong thing.

So you would choose to keep someone happy, rather than go with your own sense of right and wrong.

LordSmeg wrote: »

It can be done to protect someone from something that would upset them greatly..

But then you are back to square one and asking, why cheat on them in the first place if you knew it would upset them greatly? Exactly how long after cheating does concern for how upset they'd be kick-in? Drunkenly kissing someone on a once-off I can understand. Mind went walkies split second decision etc. Sleeping with someone can take dozens of mental choices and decisions. Saying that you never thought about how it would upset your partner is nonsense.

LordSmeg wrote: »

I find it hard to believe that you would be 100% honest in everything you say. Perhaps you havent encountered a situation where you had to protect her from the truth or something you felt would impact her a lot though so I wont question your honesty.

I haven't had to protect her from the truth because she's a grown woman mature enough to deal with the truth, not a porcelain doll. At the moment I can't think of anything I have lied about, or deliberately concealed from my OH.

LordSmeg wrote: »

Mistakes are deliberate actions later regretted.

Where does that defintion come from? I think that's the first time I've ever seen something being a mistake dependent on whether you regret them later or not. Where does it say anything about deliberate actions later regretted?

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/mistake

blacklilly

If you wanted to preserve someones happiness you wouldnt cheat on them in the first place. Don't try and cover up the deep seated selfishness of adultery as preserving someone else's happiness.
I have on many occasions had offers from married men, I never even considered any of these offers but no doubt these men did find a woman willing to oblige them.
If you are not happy in a relationship, work at it first or walk away and have as much sex as you want with other men/women!
adultery does not help keep marriages together and it is not just about sex. We humans are more complex than a fuking dog, are emotions have developed over thousands of years and we have the ability and need to hold deep emotional relationships with others.
Use your hand next time your horny or maybe it might be a good idea to have a discussion with your wife/husband about your needs

hondasam

blacklilly wrote: »

If you wanted to preserve someones happiness you wouldnt cheat on them in the first place. Don't try and cover up the deep seated selfishness of adultery as preserving someone else's happiness.
I have on many occasions had offers from married men, I never even considered any of these offers but no doubt these men did find a woman willing to oblige them.
If you are not happy in a relationship, work at it first or walk away and have as much sex as you want with other men/women!
adultery does not help keep marriages together and it is not just about sex. We humans are more complex than a fuking dog, are emotions have developed over thousands of years and we have the ability and need to hold deep emotional relationships with others.
Use your hand next time your horny or maybe it might be a good idea to have a discussion with your wife/husband about your needs

Cheating does not have to mean you are unhappy with your partner nor does it mean you are not having sex with your partner.
Most people resist temptation but human nature sometimes takes over and mistakes happen.
I don't think everyone who has cheated on one occasion was unhappy at home and telling your partner in these circumstances would be causing more hurt than is necessary.

Scioch

prinz wrote: »

More important..

What ?

So you would choose to keep someone happy, rather than go with your own sense of right and wrong.

No, I wouldnt upset someone to get something off my chest. I wouldnt want others to suffer so I can have a clear conscience. I'm not saying I dont act on my sense of right and wrong. I'm not even sure what I'd consider right and wrong in this scenario, being honest or protecting someone.

But then you are back to square one and asking, why cheat on them in the first place if you knew it would upset them greatly? Exactly how long after cheating does concern for how upset they'd be kick-in? Drunkenly kissing someone on a once-off I can understand. Mind went walkies split second decision etc. Sleeping with someone can take dozens of mental choices and decisions. Saying that you never thought about how it would upset your partner is nonsense.

No your not back to square one because we have already established it was a mistake. This is back to expecting people not to make mistakes. Would that life were that simple but it isnt. Mistakes happen and people have to deal with the consequences. This is dealing with the consequences of a mistake.

Where does that defintion come from? I think that's the first time I've ever seen something being a mistake dependent on whether you regret them later or not. Where does it say anything about deliberate actions later regretted?

http://www.thefreedic Dtionary.com/mistake

Dont see anything about deliberate actions cant be mistakes either.

Doing something you later regret doing is classed as a mistake. Defective Judgement would probably cover it if you wanted to get into it. You made a bad decision, you realised it was a bad decision later when you regretted doing it. If you didnt regret doing it you wouldnt see it as a mistake.

Cant believe you dragged me into that discussion because you confused mistake and accident.