Could you forgive your mother for doing this to you?

davet82

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/woman/4369509/I-gave-my-baby-90-per-cent-burns-years-on-she-has-forgiven-me.html

I dont think I could!


Graphic image of an injured/burned child in link

Spread

With enough reflection, you would.

Biggins

davet82 wrote: »

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/woman/4369509/I-gave-my-baby-90-per-cent-burns-years-on-she-has-forgiven-me.html

I dont think I could!

Short version for mobile users: Mother by accident started fire which burned her child.
Mother in great remorse due to heavy defacement/scaring of child.

Micky Dolenz

It was a terrible accident. It's not like her mother intentionally harmed her.

hondasam

It was an accident, she did not want to hurt her child so yes I probably would forgive her.

My name is URL

Holy crap.. a warning wouldn't have been unwelcome there!

theg81der

No

hondasam

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

It was a terrible accident. It's not like her mother intentionally harmed her.

Get out of my head, we are thinking the same thing.:pac:

davet82

Biggins wrote: »

Short version for mobile users: Mother accident started fire which burned her child.
Mother in great remorse due to heavy defacement/scaring of child.

Short version for mobile users: mother leaves a fag beside baby putting her to bed, lets her cry herself to sleep and eventually checks on her to find her with 90% burns abandons child afterwards

Leeg17

Yeah I would, it was a really unfortunate accident.

Irish Guitarist

It was an accident so yes.

aaronjumper

Jesus, that is terrible for mother and child. Why would you leave a lit cigarette down though?

Good that they're getting some semblance of a normal relationship together.

EDIT: Forgot to answer the question, yes I would, it was an accident.

walnut grove

Over time she will realise that her mam never woke up that morning thinking that she was going to roast her daughter stupidly with a cigarette. On the other hand, smoking around kids should accompany a prison sentence.

iguana

I might forgive her for causing the fire but the fact that she stayed away from me for so long afterwards would be much harder to get over. It's hard to work out why she stayed estranged for so long as the article skims around the details but if the child and the child's father weren't demanding she stay away, and she didn't seem to be in jail or obeying a court order, then it seems to have been her own decision. I can understand how much guilt she would have felt and how staying and being the child's mother would have been torture for her but she needed to accept that and be there for her daughter. Hiding from it was just cowardly.

davet82

My name is URL wrote: »

Holy crap.. a warning wouldn't have been unwelcome there!

apologies, the image is quite upsetting

frozenfrozen

A smoking mother of newborn child? Why would you quit for 9 months then go straight back on the fags?! I would forgive her but why was she smoking with the child anyways. Totally careless but it was an accident.

stovelid

davet82 wrote: »

I dont think I could!

I don't think I can forgive your mother for having you.

Diego Maradona

walnut grove wrote: »

Over time she will realise that her mam never woke up that morning thinking that she was going to roast her daughter stupidly with a cigarette. On the other hand, smoking around kids should accompany a prison sentence.

Good idea. And the death penalty for people drinking alcohol around kids too. :rolleyes:

TommyKnocker

I would like to think that I would.

It happened when the child was young, so she would probably not remember a time that she did not have this disfigurement. It was an unfortunate accident albeit with hoffific consequences for the child, but it was not done on purpose or maliciously. So I reckon that the mother has had a hard enough time living with and continuing to live the guilt of what has happened. No amount of grude holding is going to make a difference, it would only make the child bitter.

iguana

Another article makes it clear that the mother did abandon her daughter in the months following the fire. She says it was too hard to deal with so she cut all contact and moved away.

“She got on with it and I struggled, which says a lot about her. I just thought, ‘I cannot go back, I cannot see her like that’. If I was not there, I could not see her and if I could not see her, then the guilt might not be so bad.”

Now that I think is unforgivable. It wasn't accident to turn her back on her child and abscond from the responsibility of being there for her throughout her recovery.

http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/324125

starlit

That sort of thing would frighten the life out of me. Scary to think something like that would happen.

davet82

stovelid wrote: »

I don't think I can forgive your mother for having you.

Dad?

I can't see OP link as it's blocked at work, but if it was an accident, I guess so. But abandoning her for 10 years? No I think I would have a lot of trouble with that

Sleepy

I honestly think the guilt of doing that to any child, never mind my own would be too much for me to bear. It'd be the locked room with a bottle of whiskey and a revolver time I think.

We certainly left our daughter cry herself to sleep a few times when getting her used to her own room (though we'd have done the "go in every 5/10/15 minutes" method). Then again, I'd never smoke around a baby, try to keep out of the way of children when I'm smoking outdoors and as such, this would never have happened my daughter.

Could I forgive a parent who (a) did that to me and (b) abandoned me afterwards? No, I couldn't and tbh, had I been the father I suspect I'd still be in prison.

stovelid

davet82 wrote: »

Dad?

Carter P Fly

How can anyone who read the article say it was an Accident?

She Was smoking while putting a child to bed and then left the lit cig down, left the room and ignored the screams of her childs flesh burning.

Thats not an accident FFS thats criminal neglect.

cassid

You can't leave cigarettes in a room. Every night I check my boys room to make sure its ok, you never know what they find and hide during the day. You just don't take chances with children, they need you to protect them and keep them safe.


Does anybody remember the story of Melanie grimsley. Her mum popped into the shop and the car burst into flames killing her little sister and burning Melanie really badly. Despite horrific injuries, she has managed to make a "normal life for herself" , she has a book coming out with would be a great read, always very humbling to read an experience like this.

http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/woman/life/melanie-grimsleys-miracle-16083551.html

starbelgrade

I still don't forgive my mother for making me wear a horrible duffle coat to school when I was 8, so I definitely wouldn't forgive her for that.

IsMiseLisa

I don't think it's a question of the daughter forgiving the mother, but more a case of the mother forgiving herself.

It was an accident, sure, but could you look at your child knowing you were at fault for her horrific scarring? The teenager is quite badly scarred and bald. Every time the mother looks at her she's reminded of that one incredibly stupid mistake she made.

It's a horribly stupid situation and the mother needs to accept her guilt, try to move on, and build bridges with her daughter before their relationship is ruined forever.

TeddyTedson

Poor kid. I can't imagine what life must be like to have such bad burns like that.
Stories like this always makes me reflect on how easy I really have it.

d-gal

The image of her at 4 years old is heartbreaking. Ridiculously upsetting

Joey the lips

I think you would have to be a child to understand why you would forgive your mother for this... I imagine i would.

cloud493

Stupid bitch. 'I considered suicide for what I did to her' shouldn't have ****ing done it then.

Motorist

I would rather a bullet in my brain than go around with those horrific injuries.

SusieBlue

I'm not sure. I think I'd probably always be bitter because to be fair, the poor girls life is ruined.

At the same time I'd appreciate and respect the fact that it was an accident and that she was sorry, but I think it'd still be a really hard thing to get over.

That girl sounds like such a strong person.

hondasam

cloud493 wrote: »

Stupid bitch. 'I considered suicide for what I did to her' shouldn't have ****ing done it then.

She did not do it on purpose.

guppy

Sleepy wrote: »

We certainly left our daughter cry herself to sleep a few times when getting her used to her own room (though we'd have done the "go in every 5/10/15 minutes" method). Then again, I'd never smoke around a baby, try to keep out of the way of children when I'm smoking outdoors and as such, this would never have happened my daughter.

I did the same for a time, so I don't blame the mother for that. However, there is a HUGE difference between the cries of an infant who doesn't want a nap, and one suffering in agony. Anyone can tell the difference.

Would I forgive my mother, hard to say really, but given a child's desire to be loved by their parents, probably I would. As I grew older, I would probably develop a deep seated hatred of her for leaving me for what I consider incredibly selfish reasons though.

cloud493

hondasam wrote: »

She did not do it on purpose.

Bad times on her. Shouldn't smoke round a child, should have remembered when she left her cigarette. Hope the guilt never leaves her.

Jester252

The mother didn't do it on purpose. So I don't see why not

davet82

Jester252 wrote: »

The mother didn't do it on purpose. So I don't see why not

you dont see why not

i doubt it

Terrible!
Yes i would forgive an accident, the abandonment, not so much.