Baby and Dog

Long Road 8378

Hi All

I had our first baby 5 months ago and we have a fab 4 year old Lab/Staffie X. The dog was very spoiled and we were worried we had made a rod for our own backs but it has been going great. I have more questions than anything.

The dog would NEVER take our food or even his treats off of a table. He has never been given permission to do so. However, he helps himself to baby's food whenever my back is turned. Despite being strongly reprimanded he still does it. Does he put himself on a par with baby or is he attention seeking?

This brings me to my second point. When you are in the middle of doing something with baby like bathing him or changing him, the dog wants to go outside. Even if he was only outside 10 mins beforehand. Now, I'm not daft and I feel that he is attention seeking but I am still afraid that he may be genuine and would hate to put him in a position where he is bursting for the toilet. I know, soppy me. If I try and curb this behaviour by making him wait, will he get jealous and take it out on baby?

Lastly, we are really enjoying the interaction between baby and dog. Baby is now looking for him and roars laughing at his antics. The dog is all tail-wagging and sniffing when baby responds to him. The dog is very gentle with him. However, baby puts his hands out to the dog and I often let the dog lick his hands (washing after of course) as baby roars laughing and the dog wags his tail like mad. Am I giving the dog the wrong signals here?

We would never get rid of the dog so we are desperate to make this work properly.

Thanks for any advice.

Dinky22

It was lovely to read your post and to know that you would "never get rid of your dog". I remember a number of years ago I had a dog that I totally spoiled. I was nervous bringing my baby home from the hospital in case my dog would be jealous. But I involved my dog with everything to do with my baby. "Lucy" my dog was never put in second place. She slept on my bed for the first 6 weeks while my baby was in the crib beside my bed. She was involved in the night feeds and came everywhere with us. Lucy became like a second mother to my baby and they bonded beautifully. I expect your dog may feel jealous - just like a child would feel when a new baby arrives. The important thing is to involve your dog with your baby. I hope they will grow up together having a beautiful relationship.

Long Road 8378

Thanks Dinky!
It was lovely to read your post. We too had dog and baby in our room and 'evicted' them both together to their own rooms to avoid hard feelings. It's so important to make your dog a part of the action when it comes to a new baby. Can't believe the amount of people who get rid of a dog because of baby. Just can't understand it. A lil dog will ALWAYS be your best friend, so why wouldn't you want your precious lil one to have the same relationship with your family furball. Thanks for your post!

Long Road 8378

Dinky, just added a photo of the two on Post Your Pet Pic. Was too cute!

TooManyDogs

Long Road 8378 wrote: »

The dog would NEVER take our food or even his treats off of a table. He has never been given permission to do so. However, he helps himself to baby's food whenever my back is turned. Despite being strongly reprimanded he still does it. Does he put himself on a par with baby or is he attention seeking?

I would reckon he has a little lack of respect for the baby if he will freely steal the baby's food but not your own. I would suggest removing him from the area you're feeding the baby so he learns what distance you expect him to be when you feed your baby. Pick a distance you're happy with and re-inforce your 'stay' command. My dogs aren't allowed in the kitchen when we're eating, particularily when I caught 1 sneaking under the table and climbing up the highchair.

Long Road 8378 wrote: »

This brings me to my second point. When you are in the middle of doing something with baby like bathing him or changing him, the dog wants to go outside. Even if he was only outside 10 mins beforehand. Now, I'm not daft and I feel that he is attention seeking but I am still afraid that he may be genuine and would hate to put him in a position where he is bursting for the toilet. I know, soppy me. If I try and curb this behaviour by making him wait, will he get jealous and take it out on baby?

That sounds like plain attention seeking behaviour. If you're able to plan things like a bath then let him out for 20 mins before you put the baby in the bath and then you know he's not bursting for a wee. Have a toy like a stuffed kong ready to give him, send him to bed and tell him to stay. Very quickly he'll learn that when the baby gets a bath he gets quiet time with a tasty treat and not be seeking your attention. Similar with changing the baby, keep a little bag of dog treats in your change bag, and ask him to sit/lie down when you're changing the baby and you can reward him with a treat, so he'll get attention without you having your attention divided.

Long Road 8378 wrote: »

Lastly, we are really enjoying the interaction between baby and dog. Baby is now looking for him and roars laughing at his antics. The dog is all tail-wagging and sniffing when baby responds to him. The dog is very gentle with him. However, baby puts his hands out to the dog and I often let the dog lick his hands (washing after of course) as baby roars laughing and the dog wags his tail like mad. Am I giving the dog the wrong signals here?

I was very strict with my baby and dogs, and the dogs got no where near the baby until she was about 9 months old and started crawling, and here's why. (Now bearing in mind that I have 6 dogs) I needed to make sure that my dogs were very very aware on an instinctive level that the baby was mine and not there's, that they had nothing to do with her whatsoever. The reason I was so strict is that too often dogs are given fairly free access to the new baby for fear the dog might become jealous, or cos it's so cute, or the dog is just so good with the baby. Problems from this can arise because quite a few dogs will feel that it's their job to mind their baby. It doesn't sound like a bad thing does it? Except that there's different species languages going on here, so a baby will never ever recognise the signals a dog is giving out when it sees behaviour it's not happy with. Now bear in mind that it's not necessarily things like toy/food guarding the dog might be warning the baby off, it could be things that the dog perceves to be a danger to the baby. So you have a dog warning a baby, who doesn't understand, so the dog ups the warning signal until you have a dog that snaps or bites the baby. Normally these problems don't arise until the baby is crawling, after having months and months of the dog minding the baby without any apparent problems. As the baby gets older the dog will become less and less tolerant of things the baby does, no more than we become less tolerant of rude behaviours as the child gets older. So again it's back to the dog correcting the baby. Equally when the baby starts really getting around they'll make straight for the dog, particularily if they're used to the dog being their playmate. Babies and toddlers have no concept of their strenght, and have no empathy until they're about 4 or something so they don't understand the concept of hurting the dog, again which can result in the dog correcting the baby if they feel too comfortable with the baby. I spend half my day telling my 2 half year old to be gentle.

So contact with your dog is something (to my mind) that should be strictly controlled. I know I sound really strict, but I've come across too many situations of a dog biting a child and the owners saying "I really don't understand it, she was so good with the baby, she used to sleep under the cot and mind her"

What I would do is re-inforce your dog's 'stay', 'sit' and 'leave it' commands, buy a kong to keep him amused during bath time, and put treats in the change bag.

Long Road 8378

Hi Toomanydogs

Thanks so much for your reply. As I read it, it made more and more sense. I will have to admit that I may have been rather foolish in letting them get so close, no matter how cute it is. We have been careful, but not careful enough.

Definitely will start putting your advice into action. The dog will just have to keep his distance at mealtimes and from baby in general. As you mentioned that a baby does not know it's own strength, I remembered baby grabbing the dog's collar tonight, Misty didn't realise he did it but had baby been strong enough he would have caught Misty's attention and it may have ended in a warning from the dog. I can see why you keep your dogs at a safe distance away from bubs. The treats are a very good idea, I never thought of that.

It's so easy to get caught up in the whole 'cute' thing. Thanks again.

TooManyDogs

Its one of those thing that I do err on the side of caution but it hasn't harmed my little girls relationship with them, she simply adores them, wants to brush them, hold their lead, help feed them, share her toys with them (which has resulted in eaten crayons and rainbow poo!) She's even started coming agility training with me and loves it. She's being raised by me and hubby but they're her buddies. It removes a lot of stress off the dogs knowing that I'll handle any problem she has and they don't need worry about it. Basically if anyone needs to bite the baby I'll do it myself

Your dog will be your baby's best friend but best it be done as safely as possible

dodderangler

It's great that they get on great but don't ever leave the two alone together no matter what it doesn't take much for a dog to snap even if you think you know the dog inside and out
I have a Akita and tho he has always been fine around my little girl since she was born she is now running around like a lunatic and is directly at eye level with him and that's we're it gets dangerous so I never take my eye off of him
Same applys here don't put all trust in any dog as they can snap so easily

Yolana G

Great post - and excellent to hear your not gonna give up your dog!! When I was pregnant with my first child, Dean, I used a book called Tell Your Dog You're Pregnant: An essential guide for dog owners who are expecting a baby. It was really helpful and came with a CD of sounds. Olive (my fur child!) took some time to get used to the sounds but the book helped on how to do it. I think the website is www.babyandpet.com. Maybe that will help someone else!

Long Road 8378

Guys, thanks a million for all the replies and all of the advice. Thanks for taking the time.

Hubby and I sat down and discussed our new ground rules for Misty and he is to keep a nice distance from bubs. Soon after I wrote the post, bubs was in his bouncer and called Misty over, hubby and I were busy and caught this at the last minute so by the time we arrived on scene, bubs had grabbed poor oul Misty by the whiskers and thought it was hilarious. Misty never batted an eyelid and waited for bubs to be 'unhooked' from him but we could see very plainly how we could accidently put poor Misty in an awkward position. We wouldn't want to do that to him, so the rules have been set in stone.

And, as if he already knew, Misty has totally lost interest in bubs despite bubs constantly waving and yelling for his attention. A relief on our part but we will keep the rules in place all the same. He did however, unexpectedly walk over and throw bubs a piece of his beloved rawhide chew, which was kindly returned to sender by me.

Thanks again.

TooManyDogs

Sounds like you're setting your family up for the best possible friendship, 1 kid and his dog Fair play to you both.

Love Misty throwing your baby some rawhide, mine used to give my little girl their toys and now they have her fairly well trained to throw a ball! Sounds like you're on the right road and that everyone is going to get the very best out of life

Long Road 8378

Hey TooManyDogs

Thanks for your reply, we are a bit more confident now and happy with the new rules. Your daughter and your dogs sound like they have a fab relationship and I'd say you get a real laugh out of them interacting. Many Kodak moments I'm sure! Just out of interest... you mention your daughter and the dogs giving her their ball.

We alway assumed that bubs would never be allowed to touch Misty's toys as they were Misty's and Misty's only. This was backed up by the fact that since bubs arrived on scene, Misty has taken to tucking his ball under his 'armpit' when lying down, it would seem as if he didn't want bubs to take it. Now, bubs is too young for any of that craic, he still can't hold a frozen teething ring never mind a ball but could we eventually let bubs near his toys?

TooManyDogs

I'd say you could let baby near Misty's toys in time depending on how Misty is with his toys. Because of the fact I have 6 dogs I can't afford for anyone to have a 'favourite' toy so as far as the dogs are concerned all the toys belong to me, so there are no resource guarding issues. If Misty has any favourite toys I'd start working on any guarding issues if there are any. Also if he has any ball obsession it can mean that he can accidently grab baby while trying to snatch ball so again if there's any of that behaviour I'd work on it now, get his 'drop' command up to scratch. My girl was about 18 months before she was mobile and able to properly pick up and throw a balll for the dogs. Before that I had a different problem, the dogs knew that they weren't allowed to touch baby's toys, and while she was very small I kept taking the dogs toys off baby cos she was licking them, she'd cry, and the dogs would keep bringing her more of their toys as they weren't allowed to pick up hers I had some rules like because the dogs have had balls for years I didn't allow baby to have any toy balls for a good while, then there was the rule that balls indoors belong to baby and balls outside belong to the dogs, gradually that's been relaxed as baby has gotten older and more able. One of the dogs I homeboard is ball obsessive so I don't let baby throw the ball for her because she snatches.

At the moment it's better to keep to keep the toys seperate as your baby is so small, and immune system isn't properly developed.