Should men get paternity leave?

Unavailable for Comment

Eoin wrote: »

I doubt it. There's no paid maternity leave in Irish employment law; just the right to take the leave.

I always thought that was it. Guess not so! Anyway thanks.

Eoin

Unavailable for Comment wrote: »

I always thought that was it. Guess not so! Anyway thanks.

There's a flat rate maternity benefit from the social welfare. Some companies pay the difference between that benefit and the salary, but I think that's becoming more rare these days.

Lyra Fangs

Eoin wrote: »

I doubt it. There's no paid maternity leave in Irish employment law; just the right to take the leave.



I find your wording a little strange, while I agree with the overall point. In most cases, the parents do split the duties - but the father has to go into work as well. I don't know any new fathers who go home and put their feet up for the evening.

I don't mean to suggest that working fathers come home and do nothing, I mean some do but most either help out with child care or give their spouse an hour or two off. I just think that the first few months of parenthood can be the hardest when you're just getting used to things and developing a routine. It would be better if both parents were available so they could give their child the best care possible.

Eoin

Fair enough. I tend to get annoyed when people think that the father has the easy number by "getting to go to work instead", but that's not what you were saying.

Unavailable for Comment

Eoin wrote: »

There's a flat rate maternity benefit from the social welfare. Some companies pay the difference between that benefit and the salary, but I think that's becoming more rare these days.

Are you legally obliged to take all of the time though? 26 weeks on a percentage of your salary is probably untenable for many.

Lyra Fangs

If anything I think the father has it harder. Looking after a child is undoubtedly hard work but I can only imagine how horrible it must be to have to get up every morning, leave your child to go to work then by the time you do get home they may have been put to bed so you don't get to spend any time with them.

I know of fathers who barely have a relationship with their child because they work such long hours that they get to see them for only a measly handful of hours a week, how can you bond under such conditions??

Eoin

Unavailable for Comment wrote: »

Are you legally obliged to take all of the time though? 26 weeks on a percentage of your salary is probably untenable for many.

No, you only have to take 6 of those weeks. 2 before due date, and 4 after. But full time child care isn't cheap either, so it's not as if you're saving a huge amount by going back to work early.

OldNotWIse

Bad Panda wrote: »

I'm shocked a feminist group hasn't wailed about this yet. I mean, after all, all they want is equality. :rolleyes:

If it was men getting 26 weeks and women getting 24 they would have protested

Precious flower

Of course I don't see why the government doesn't see the importance of a father bonding with his new born baby. It would ease the burden for the mother too and would give them both time to adjust to the change.

homeOwner

RoboRat wrote: »

She is as busy as I am, she is working to the Gina Ford routine and she has to keep him awake which is a struggle all day. Unfortunately that is all happening when I am away at work so when I get in I look after the other things. Its crap in the short term but when the baby is sleeping the full night by 3 months its well worth it.

We are both very fair with each other and I get a lie in on Sunday and she gets it on Saturday.

The GF routine works really well for some people but I am pretty sure it does not advocate keeping a small baby awake all day. I don't know how old your baby is, but if you are following GF it should sleep for a few hours during the day, one sleep mid morning and another early afternoon, depending on age.

Your wife should be able to sleep herself or at least have a lie down when the baby is asleep, or if she is so inclined, use that time to make the dinner at least a few days a week to give you a break.

Having been through that routine recently with twins, both parents sharing tasks equally is really important to everyone's sanity.

We used to share the feeds, my husband would do the 11pm feed (I went to bed at 9pm) and I did the 2:30am feed while he slept and he was up to do the 6am feed while I showered and then took over while he went to work. I made the dinner and did laundry/cleaned while the twins had 1 of their naps and had a lie down for the other nap.

A few alterations to your routine might work wonders for you.
Good luck with it, its tough but it gets better!
Totally agree with you on the parental leave issue.

RoboRat

The GF routine works really well for some people but I am pretty sure it does not advocate keeping a small baby awake all day. I don't know how old your baby is, but if you are following GF it should sleep for a few hours during the day, one sleep mid morning and another early afternoon, depending on age.

Your wife should be able to sleep herself or at least have a lie down when the baby is asleep, or if she is so inclined, use that time to make the dinner at least a few days a week to give you a break.

Having been through that routine recently with twins, both parents sharing tasks equally is really important to everyone's sanity.

We used to share the feeds, my husband would do the 11pm feed (I went to bed at 9pm) and I did the 2:30am feed while he slept and he was up to do the 6am feed while I showered and then took over while he went to work. I made the dinner and did laundry/cleaned while the twins had 1 of their naps and had a lie down for the other nap.

A few alterations to your routine might work wonders for you.
Good luck with it, its tough but it gets better!
Totally agree with you on the parental leave issue.

He is on weeks 6-8 so he is only allowed 3.5 hours sleep during the day - unfortunately he would like to sleep a lot more so she has to keep him awake which is a big task. During the time he is asleep she gets a shower, gets breakfast/lunch does the washing etc and other preparation.

In fairness I really want to take him when I get home and spend a bit of time with him, its not that I am being burdened with a bigger workload. The only time she gets to sit down is from when I get home until after dinner - about 1 and a half hours and she has definitely earned it.

There is light at the end of the tunnel, he is sleeping 5 and a half hours straight for the last 3 days so we are hoping to stop with the 3am feed :-)

AudreyHepburn

Of course the Father should be allowed parental leave....the child is his as well as hers and he should not have to miss out on those first few precious months just because he didn't physically have the baby.

I really hate this attitude that some of my fellow ladies have that because your man does not physically have the child he has less rights and less of an opinion than you do. It's childish and selfish imo.

It takes two to make the baby.

Snowie

Yes men should get leave just like women it's an utterly sexist work related topic that should be addressed !

JoeyW

RoboRat wrote: »

Im a new father (7 weeks old) and I hate the fact that I didn't get any paternity leave. I took 2 weeks as the wife had a section and needed me, but they were my holidays and now I have SFA holidays left and I am absolutely knackered and need a break.

I am up at 6.20 in the morn to commute, get home at 6, take the baby off the missus and look after him (bath him), put him down about 7.30 ,then go down and make the dinner. Eat dinner, clean up and do whatever needs to be done. Then I have to do the feed at 11, usually getting to bed about 12 back up at 3am to change him and up at 6.20 for work.

I am doing everything that I can to help and I miss not being there for my son as he is always in better form when I am there. The missus is breast feeding and she finds it incredibly difficult as he is always moaning and mooching because he can smell the milk and associates her with food! When I am minding him he is in great form and much happier.

I think the government need to look at Sweden and Norway as they seem to have a much better society in general and I am sure the fact that parents get to properly bond with their children has a lot to do with that.

I want one of you!!
I am also breastfeeding and am a mother of two, youngest is 12 weeks, oldest is 2.5 years and I do all the nightfeeds and all the work because OH is working and too tired when he gets home!!
Your wife is a very lucky gal

Madam_X

Of course. Having a new baby and having to work full-time in the early stages must be extremely tough, not to mind all those hours they miss with the new baby. It'd be great for the mother too, not having to manage alone all day.

boobar

Jackobyte wrote: »

Lads, hear me out.. it's not our fault we were born males and can't carry a child.
The least benefits we should get is a few weeks off to be with babies when they are born and get paid for it. Like, am I the only one who finds it unfair that just becoz women donated an egg and minded a child in their stomach for a few months gives them the excuse to leave the kitchen and have a few weeks off while we still have to work and fend for our family.

Why can't men have this right too of a few weeks off work? Shur we helped get the women pregnant... we donated our sperm??? We're as tired as they are and need the few weeks off. You don't know how tiring it gets listening to women moaning about "going into labour". More tiring than labour itself, I'd say.

I demand paternity leave for all males who donate sperm to baby making.

You're dead right. I think women are quite good at identifying areas where they aren't being treated equally.

But paternity leave in Ireland is an area that seriously needs to be addressed. Fathers need time as well to bond with children.

I think the traditional view of the father as a person who didn't take part in the child rearing duties is outdated. THis leave should be shared between both parents in my view.

SmilingLurker

Luckily enough my company gives as a matter of course 5 days paid paternity leave (in the Republic). It was great as my wife needed to stay in hospital for five days, but they are a good employer anyway. But yes, I think everyone should get some paternity leave.

This can be expensive and difficult for smaller companies, which is why in these tight times it may not be practical.

If you have a large employer, and you have been in employment for over a year you could use unpaid parental leave http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/employment/employment_rights_and_conditions/leave_and_holidays/parental_leave.html

There are T&Cs - it is there to take care of the child in circumstances. Also I would suggest unpaid leave - most employers are OK with this - if you can afford it. Good luck.

Almaviva

Nah.
Women shouldnt either. Have them take a day or two annual leave for the birth. Or schedule it for a weekend.