Mens Rights Thread

Pawwed Rig

The Corinthian wrote: »

Raising awareness is good, but it can suffer a backlash too if badly done. Groups like Fathers4Justice have probably done themselves more harm as good with some of their more militant stunts.

I dunno about Fathers4Justice but Yes militant stunts, I think, will turn people off immediately although I can only imagine the desperation some of those guys feel.

The Corinthian wrote: »

Also there's a lot more to being media-savvy; building up relationships with the press and politicians and the ability to churn out copy that can easily be cut-n-pasted into editorials is even more important in many respects.

Exactly

At a new years eve party the other night I we got onto the topic of car insurance where women's policies have been increased as they cannot discriminate based on gender anymore (or some such reason). From there we got onto other issues that we have discussed in these few threads here at length. Most of the people listening commented that they had never even considered the issue. Such is the case with men's issues. Once the issues can be brought to the fore most would not be against them. But if a movement just labelled itself as anti Feminist they are immediately engaging themselves in a battle that realistically cannot be one given the current national thinking and media.

The Corinthian wrote: »

Spokesperson - you'd get picked up on that straight away.

:pac: I did think of that when I wrote spokesman but the anti PC side of me wouldn't allow myself to write spokesperson......... which is why I'd be no good on TV:D

The Corinthian

py2006 wrote: »

I get what you are saying here, but I presume if it a mens rights group the spokesperson will most likely be a man.

Nope, because then it would divide things on gender lines - remember women do have a stake in men's rights too, although this has been drowned out by mainstream Feminism's propaganda machine.

Father's rights, for example, are ultimately the key by which women may finally remove such remaining forms of discrimination that are as a result of the burden / privilege of child care still being seen as "a woman's job".

And lest we forget, men are their brothers, fathers, partners, husbands and sons - what mother wants her child to grow up a second class citizen?

So spokesperson is a far better idea.

iptba

General point, not relating to last few messages:
From what I've picked up from Twitter, many atheists are annoyed by Atheism Plus, which I've seen described as feminists who don't believe in God and other similar ways to describe to say it's mainly about feminism, which many atheists don't buy into, although perhaps have not thought much about, or talked "publicly" e.g. on the internet much, before. I imagine some could even possibly be persuaded to get interested in men's rights with a bit of proding.

Woodward

iptba wrote: »

General point, not relating to last few messages:
From what I've picked up from Twitter, many atheists are annoyed by Atheism Plus, which I've seen described as feminists who don't believe in God and other similar ways to describe to say it's mainly about feminism, which many atheists don't buy into, although perhaps have not thought much about, or talked "publicly" e.g. on the internet much, before. I imagine some could even possibly be persuaded to get interested in men's rights with a bit of proding.

I can see that happening already. Check out thunderfoot's latest video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKKQdJR7F_I

He uses the term professional victim in the video which is a term used widely in the MRM which I havent heard much anywhere else which would suggest his reading into anti feminism has overlapped with MRM material. I wouldnt be surprised if he starts bringing MR issues up

The Black Oil

Ever listen to Woman's Hour on BBC Radio 4? I can't really think of a male equivalent, maybe there are some podcasts, though.

Anyway, they had some interesting discussions on mothers in law yesterday and a few other stories you wouldn't normally notice. Apart from that, before Christmas, there was a short debate about abortion on the Today programme. The female guest, Suzanne Moore, got a bit aggravated 'here I am discussing this issue with two men', or words to that effect. It'll be said that she was emotional, and I don't mean in a 'oh, typical woman being emotional/irrational' way, but I didn't view it that way at all - my issue was that she came across as rigid.

ETA, it was actually Ocotber ish. Here's Moore's write up on it, and the clip.

iptba

The Black Oil wrote: »

Ever listen to Woman's Hour on BBC Radio 4? I can't really think of a male equivalent, maybe there are some podcasts, though.

Anyway, they had some interesting discussions on mothers in law yesterday and a few other stories you wouldn't normally notice. Apart from that, before Christmas, there was a short debate about abortion on the Today programme. The female guest, Suzanne Moore, got a bit aggravated 'here I am discussing this issue with two men', or words to that effect. It'll be said that she was emotional, and I don't mean in a 'oh, typical woman being emotional/irrational' way, but I didn't view it that way at all - my issue was that she came across as rigid.

ETA, it was actually Ocotber ish. Here's Moore's write up on it, and the clip.

Thanks.
When she says: "here I am discussing this issue with two men", she is including the male interviewer.

I tend to be sceptical of many feminists calling for gender balance: they can seem to be quite happy when there are women-only meetings, women-only committees, women-only departments e.g. some gender studies departments and the like, and so don't seem see gender balance as supremely necessary; it seems much more an effort to get more influence.

iptba

Blog about paternity fraud in case anyone is interested:
http://milkmanschild.wordpress.com/

iptba

I've just read some pieces on this story (from 2006) and it sounds interesting.

Norah Vincent has lived as a man. She didn't undergo a sex change or radical hormone treatments. She simply went undercover. In an extraordinary feat of acting, disguise and guts, Vincent lived among men -- as a man -- for 18 months to see what life was like on the other side of the gender divide.

"This wasn't just a stunt. This was about learning. This is a human project. It was about finding something out about the human creature. ... And I learned it the best possible way because I went through it," Vincent told "20/20's" JuJu Chang.

continues at: http://abcnews.go.com/2020/Entertainment/story?id=1526982

She describes different ways about how it is hard to be a man.

Book is at:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Self-made-Man-My-Year-Disguised/dp/1843545047

with lots and lots of reviews at:
http://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Womans-Journey-Manhood/dp/0670034665

Unfortunately I rarely read books but perhaps might be of interest to others.

iptba

Saturday's Irish Independent:
"Lorraine Courtney: Raising girls is hard, but it's boys who really need our help now"
http://www.independent.ie/opinion/analysis/lorraine-courtney-raising-girls-is-hard-but-its-boys-who-really-need-our-help-now-3357396.html

(Not sure her point is really to make a competition out of it.)

iptba

iptba wrote: »

Saturday's Irish Independent:
"Lorraine Courtney: Raising girls is hard, but it's boys who really need our help now"
http://www.independent.ie/opinion/analysis/lorraine-courtney-raising-girls-is-hard-but-its-boys-who-really-need-our-help-now-3357396.html

(Not sure her point is really to make a competition out of it.)

Letter in reply:
"We teach boys to repress emotion. Of course they're in crisis"
http://www.independent.ie/opinion/letters/we-teach-boys-to-repress-emotion-of-course-theyre-in-crisis-3358328.html

Morag

http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/education/latest-news/boys-close-the-college-gender-gap-3358339.html

BOYS have closed the gender gap on college entry, with as many males as females now going on to third level.

Pawwed Rig

Morag wrote: »

http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/education/latest-news/boys-close-the-college-gender-gap-3358339.html

BOYS have closed the gender gap on college entry, with as many males as females now going on to third level.

A nice headline but not entirely accurate if the full article is read.

I guess this is due to the lack of availability of jobs in the more 'traditional male roles' rather than any great leaps forward in second level and primary education.

iptba

This is how young people are going to be educated on gender issues. As I recall, nearly all NWCI money is grant money (i.e. from the government)

http://www.nwci.ie/yfactor/

What is it about?
The Y-Factor Project is a new NWCI initiative set up to empower and support young women and young men to become leaders for women's equality. By working together with young people this project will:
• Identify the key issues that affect young women in Ireland
• Work with young women and men to develop their own solutions to their concerns
• Ensure the voices of young women are included and heard within the National Women's Council
• Promote the voices and priorities of young women in social and public discourse

How will this be done?
The Y-Factor Project will work in a variety of ways to build the knowledge and analysis of young people about women's equality and to support their participation in the project.
• We will work with schools, youth groups, young feminist groups and organisations to develop and deliver programmes that will enable learning, discussion, sharing and analysis.
• New social media platforms such as Facebook and Twitter will provide space for young people to engage with each other and with the NWCI.
• Events and activities will be organised to build the profile and widen the participation of young people in the project.

James Jones

Following the introduction of gender quotas for election candidates from political parties, we now have the call for gender quotas in the civil service HERE

Also, a letter from the the Co-ordinator, Y Factor Project, can be read HERE.

iptba

James Jones wrote: »

Following the introduction of gender quotas for election candidates from political parties, we now have the call for gender quotas in the civil service HERE

Also, a letter from the the Co-ordinator, Y Factor Project, can be read HERE.

First link didn't work for me. I think this is the link you meant: http://www.independent.ie/national-news/civil-service-needs-gender-quota-3367821.html

People can comment under either of them, if they are so inclined.

I have heard talk over the years of all women shortlists sometimes being used within the Civil Service (I think I recall at least one female politician mentioning using them in her department) - anyone able to confirm they have been used?

iptba

iptba wrote: »

Saturday's Irish Independent:
"Lorraine Courtney: Raising girls is hard, but it's boys who really need our help now"
http://www.independent.ie/opinion/analysis/lorraine-courtney-raising-girls-is-hard-but-its-boys-who-really-need-our-help-now-3357396.html

(Not sure her point is really to make a competition out of it.)

One person has written to me to recommend this book:

"Real Boys; Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood" by William Pollack. It was published in 1998 in the US.

I rarely read books, fact or fiction, these days so thought I'd throw it out to others who might be interested in the suggestion.

iptba

Men's Movement gets mentioned in this.

http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2013/01/new_study_says_heterosexual_men_are_more_depressed_than_gay_men_it_s_time.html

Straight Men Should Come Out of the Closet
Like gay men, they will be happier.

By Nathaniel Frank|Posted Thursday, Jan. 31, 2013, at 4:19 PM ET

Research shows that LGBT people, especially those living in the closet, face disproportionate stresses, including higher risk of anxiety and depression. But a study published this week in Psychosomatic Medicine uncovered something surprising: Heterosexual men had higher levels of depression than gay and bisexual men. Less surprising but still important: Lesbians, gays, and bisexuals who are open about their sexuality had less stress than those who conceal it.

etc.

iptba

From Canada:

UBC* gives all female tenure-stream faculty a 2 per cent raise

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/education/ubc-gives-all-female-tenure-stream-faculty-a-2-per-cent-raise/article8150659/

*University of British Columbia

James Jones

Great article in the Sindo at[URL="[B][U]http://www.independent.ie/opinion/analysis/eilis-ohanlon-its-high-time-we-gave-pc-brigade-the-finger-3375643.html[/U][/B]"] http://www.independent.ie/opinion/analysis/eilis-ohanlon-its-high-time-we-gave-pc-brigade-the-finger-3375643.html[/URL]

Female values of sincerity and supportiveness are the only ones now deemed acceptable, and men are made to feel like insensitive brutes if they don't adopt the same touchy-feely, group-hugging, let's-talk-it-all-out approach to dark matters. It's just not how men are, but there's so much of what they are which is now deemed off limits.

Even police and soldiers, who have a tradition of using black humour to manage stressful situations, are urged to bite their tongues for fear of giving offence.

Playboy

Anyone following the Chris Huhne scandal in the UK? Basically he has an affair so wife decides to nail him to the wall by revealing he got her to take penalty points on her license for his offence. Huhne guilty of peverting the course of justice... career down the toilet and potentail 1 year jail term (although maximum penalty is unlimited).

Wife is also being prosecuted for peverting the course of justice but is claiming marital coercion. Cant help but think that excuse would not wash if the shoe were on the other foot.. in fact I dont even think a man can claim marital coercion as a defence. She is also highlighting that he 'forced' her to have an abortion a number of years ago when she was in her 40's. I'm not sure what relevance that has apart from trying to tarnish his character so the court will accept her marital coercion defence.

Now Huhne may get everything he deserves as he made some very poor choices but the poorest choice he made was in marrying the wrong woman. Seemingly she feels that an appropriate response to your husband cheating (and father of your 5 children who provides for the family) is to destroy his career and get him put in jail. Really hope the jury doesnt buy her coercion defence and puts her away with him.

D'Agger

Playboy wrote: »

Really hope the jury doesnt buy her coercion defence and puts her away with him.

You seem worried about the children losing their father and provider yet your answer is to put both parents away?

Whilst it's a difficult case where they're both culpable of wrongdoing - that's not the answer in my eyes.

The Corinthian

D'Agger wrote: »

You seem worried about the children losing their father and provider yet your answer is to put both parents away?

I don't think that is what he was highligting, TBH.

Whilst it's a difficult case where they're both culpable of wrongdoing - that's not the answer in my eyes.

Unfortunately, it is. When people break laws, they must be responsible for the consiquences. If hiding behind a child to avoid those consiquences is an acceptable defence, then what you end up with is effective impunity to break the law.

This regretibly is already the case with the breaches of court orders. Breaches, by fathers, of maintiance orders will eventually (and with some judges, quickly) end in a custodial sentences, yet breaches, by mothers, of access orders will almost never result in anything more than harsh words from a judge, leaving the mother free to breach the order again in the full knowledge that nothing will happen to her - for the sake of the child(ren).

Also ask yourself, if perverting the course of justice is an acceptable crime to overlook, for the sake of the child(ren), what crime would you draw the line at exactly? Theft? GBH? Murder?

As to the defence of marital coercion, this (along with temporary insanity as a result of marital abuse) is indeed a defence that is appears to work very much on gender lines. Sure, wasn't Lorena Bobbitt pushed to it?

iptba

D'Agger wrote: »

You seem worried about the children losing their father and provider yet your answer is to put both parents away?

Whilst it's a difficult case where they're both culpable of wrongdoing - that's not the answer in my eyes.

I don't see why they can't separate out prison sentences in cases like this (I don't know if Mrs Huhne deserves to go to jail - I mean if she did deserve it). I remember in Ireland a few years there was a surgeon who with his wife acted fraudulently (I think they faked a breast cancer diagnosis?). He got I think four years in prison, she got a lighter prison sentence but it was all suspended because there had to be somebody to look after the children.

jaffacakesyum

http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/02/08/16890167-betrayed-male-rape-victims-slam-oscar-nominated-filmmakers-over-focus-on-women

Playboy

D'Agger wrote: »

You seem worried about the children losing their father and provider yet your answer is to put both parents away?

Whilst it's a difficult case where they're both culpable of wrongdoing - that's not the answer in my eyes.

I hope that they both get a fair trial and that sentences are applied in accordance with the crime commited. I dont think it's fair or just that the person who highlighted the crime to the police and was involved in perputating it is someone exempt from any wrong doing because she avails of a defence which is both biased and discriminatory.

It is a sad situation where the kids are concerned but the mother should be accountable for her actions since she was the one who instigated the criminal proceedings in the first place. She obviously put the welfare of her family below her personal agenda with her husband and that should be taken into account at sentencing.

D'Agger

Playboy wrote: »

I hope that they both get a fair trial and that sentences are applied in accordance with the crime commited. I dont think it's fair or just that the person who highlighted the crime to the police and was involved in perputating it is someone exempt from any wrong doing because she avails of a defence which is both biased and discriminatory.

It is a sad situation where the kids are concerned but the mother should be accountable for her actions since she was the one who instigated the criminal proceedings in the first place. She obviously put the welfare of her family below her personal agenda with her husband and that should be taken into account at sentencing.

I would doubt either would face jail time although I'm not exactly a legal eagle! - it would be hard to justify one getting jail time and the other not - both parties were culpable, I would imagine a judge would see that.

Also due to the press this has gotten and the nature of the couple splitting etc. it's hard for any judge to give a fair assessment - I'd imagine the easy thing to do would be to fine both parties heavily, meaning the children are impacted as little as possible and the couple are left both licking their wounds financially - should make the divorce proceedings interesting to say the least.

That's just my take on it - I'm open to other possible scenarios should somebody else have an idea as per how this would be dealt with.

Playboy

D'Agger wrote: »

I would doubt either would face jail time although I'm not exactly a legal eagle! - it would be hard to justify one getting jail time and the other not - both parties were culpable, I would imagine a judge would see that.

Also due to the press this has gotten and the nature of the couple splitting etc. it's hard for any judge to give a fair assessment - I'd imagine the easy thing to do would be to fine both parties heavily, meaning the children are impacted as little as possible and the couple are left both licking their wounds financially - should make the divorce proceedings interesting to say the least.

That's just my take on it - I'm open to other possible scenarios should somebody else have an idea as per how this would be dealt with.

From whats being reported over here it is expected that Huhne will recieve a custodial sentence. It remains to be see whether his wife will 'get off' but it wouldnt surprise me given that the jury is made up of 8 women and four men. The transcripts of the trial are truly shocking and given the content of emails and telephone conversations she has been involved in then there is no way she should be getting off. If she does indeed 'get off' then hopefully it can be used to bring some greater awareness to the general public about discrimination against men in the law. I know it has sparked a previously non existent interest in these types of issues among male collegaues, friends and acquaintances of mine.

Pawwed Rig

I would say a custodial sentence would be harsh as in the pantheon of crimes I would think this is on the same level as not paying your property tax here. But given who he is they may decide to make an example of him. I cannot see the wife doing any prison time though as is will most likely be seen that she was already 'punished' in getting the penalty points in the first place. It does look like a pure case of revenge which I don't think the courts should be seen to encourage.
I don't think having kids should be anything to do with it though. Does that mean single parents can essentially do what they want?

GalwayGuy2

http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013...focus-on-women

"You can't really address the problem of military sexual trauma until you include the 56 percent of the victims — the men — and they are being ignored right now," Lewis said.

I honestly thought men raped in the military would be a lot less:O

I'm not going to quote large sections from that report, but the director's (Dick?) explanation seems a little odd.

Zombrex

GalwayGuy2 wrote: »

I honestly thought men raped in the military would be a lot less:O

I'm not going to quote large sections from that report, but the director's (Dick?) explanation seems a little odd.

I sympathize with the men for not having the issue of male rape more to the front, but the criticism of the film makers is a little unfair. Having watched the movie it is clear the the film makers latched on to the story of a particular set of women because they were starting a campaign group and discussing the subject in front of the Congress. The movie gave little air time to a whole host of women who weren't part of this group, along with the men.

You could say that focusing on this particular group of women was unfair to both the men and the other women in terms of air time, but frankly it is such a huge subject that expecting on movie to balance everyone's story is rather unrealistic. Minorities were largely under represented as well by the focus on this particular groups of women. In my opinion they gave enough time to the men they interviewed to make clear that military rape effects men as well as women, a point hammered home by the end sequence of photographs that contained many many male faces.

jaffacakesyum

Zombrex wrote: »

I sympathize with the men for not having the issue of male rape more to the front, but the criticism of the film makers is a little unfair. Having watched the movie it is clear the the film makers latched on to the story of a particular set of women because they were starting a campaign group and discussing the subject in front of the Congress. The movie gave little air time to a whole host of women who weren't part of this group, along with the men.

You could say that focusing on this particular group of women was unfair to both the men and the other women in terms of air time, but frankly it is such a huge subject that expecting on movie to balance everyone's story is rather unrealistic. In my opinion they gave enough time to the men they interviewed to make clear that military rape effects men as well as women, a point hammered home by the end sequence of photographs that contained many many male faces.

Yeah that's completely fair enough. I haven't seen the film nor know much about it, I just thought it was sad that these men felt ignored.

It would be great if a movie did come out about male rape in the military in general. If it got a good cast in it, it might raise a bit more awareness.

iptba

If somebody wanted an angle to talk about sexism against men, one could write a letter to the Irish Examiner, referencing this article in Monday's paper:

'Y’ is sexism rampant here?
http://www.irishexaminer.com/lifestyle/y-is-sexism-rampant-here-222227.html

One wouldn't necessarily have to criticise the Y-factor, just mention sexism against men also exists.

iptba

Good to see:

Valentine's Campaign Targets Male Domestic Violence Victims

Cambridgeshire Police are taking action to help men who are victims of domestic violence to overcome two of the key barriers that prevent men getting help:
http://helpingmenblog.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/valentines-campaign-targets-male.html

GalwayGuy2

Interesting article, from an admittedly long time ago, about something called the Boy Problem.

In a nutshell, the boy problem is that less young men are reading as there aren't any many, emphasis on the many, real strong male protagonists to relate to in the Young Adult scene. Although, some people think it's a lack of empathy in young men and they can't read a book with a female protagonist (Kind of half agree and half don't agree with that)

Personally, I like reading books from a female perspective, but I do remember skipping the YA for the adult, but when I read YA books I remember slightly cringing at the one dimensional nature of the male characters.

Perhaps not discrimination, but it's quite interesting, and it kind of does tie in to the rather double edged blade of gender stereotyping.

Anybody know if the YA scene has changed in recent years?

PS: Bit of a disclaimer, but I found that article by Google search, and, while thinking it's a good one, I have no idea what other views that Author has. Just in case she turns out to be a mega misogynist.:P

iptba

Playboy wrote: »

From whats being reported over here it is expected that Huhne will recieve a custodial sentence. It remains to be see whether his wife will 'get off' but it wouldnt surprise me given that the jury is made up of 8 women and four men. The transcripts of the trial are truly shocking and given the content of emails and telephone conversations she has been involved in then there is no way she should be getting off. If she does indeed 'get off' then hopefully it can be used to bring some greater awareness to the general public about discrimination against men in the law. I know it has sparked a previously non existent interest in these types of issues among male collegaues, friends and acquaintances of mine.

Thanks for the posts on this. I'm no lawyer and hadn't heard of the marital coercion defence only applying to women before (and I sometimes frequent MRA forums). There are two letters in today's Sunday Times complaining about it.

Playboy

iptba wrote: »

Thanks for the posts on this. I'm no lawyer and hadn't heard of the marital coercion defence only applying to women before (and I sometimes frequent MRA forums). There are two letters in today's Sunday Times complaining about it.

Jury has been discharged due to their failure to even reach a majority verdict. Can't quite believe that the jury bought her story even though there was a wealth of phonecall and email evidence indicating that she has instigated all the proceedings against Huhne as revenge for cheating on her. It's probably due to the majority of women on the jury who sympathise with her even in the face of facts and evidence and decide to side with her on the basis of an outdated and discriminatory defence of marital coercion. Now we face the expense of a retrial which no doubt she will win.

blue note

iptba wrote: »

If somebody wanted an angle to talk about sexism against men, one could write a letter to the Irish Examiner, referencing this article in Monday's paper:

One wouldn't necessarily have to criticise the Y-factor, just mention sexism against men also exists.

A fair bit of nonsense in that article. A girl is called "young lady" in a bank. I get called "young man" quite often. The dry cleaner calls me "young fella" and two women in the office call the men "chicken".

Sexism exits, but tackling things like half of what that article talks about diverts attention from real sexism.

iptba

blue note wrote: »

A fair bit of nonsense in that article. A girl is called "young lady" in a bank. I get called "young man" quite often. The dry cleaner calls me "young fella" and two women in the office call the men "chicken".

Sexism exits, but tackling things like half of what that article talks about diverts attention from real sexism.

It's frustrating that educators (lecturers, etc.) and even researchers can't look at such issues and see whether there are comparable statements made about men. I'd much prefer people did their job and looked at things more objectively rather feeling I need to highlight things about men's lives to try to bring balance to discussions.

iptba

Woman had sex with unconscious man, resulting in birth of a child: man held liable for child support
http://www.cotwa.info/2013/02/woman-had-sex-with-unconscious-man.html

py2006

Interesting article here on domestic violence. As usual only women are victims and only men are the aggressors!

Nearly half either disagreed or did not know if going through a female partner's private electronic messages counted as domestic violence.
Just over half either disagreed or did not know whether a partner making all the monetary decisions was domestic violence.

While snooping on texts etc is a bit dodgy, according to the article they are suggesting that it is a violent act on a MANS part!

The Corinthian

py2006 wrote: »

While snooping on texts etc is a bit dodgy, according to the article they are suggesting that it is a violent act on a MANS part!

While I personally think that snooping on a partner's texts or emails demonstrates a serious betrayal and breach of trust, it is difficult to define it as violence with a straight face.

Nonetheless, what most disturbs me of that article, as you suggest, is that these actions are portrayed as violence only when perpetrated by a man, even if they believed it works both ways (which I'll admit I doubt) it is incredibly misandrist to portray such a skewed and false image of domestic violence.

I'm actually surprised that such articles are not brought up on incitement to hatred charges at this stage - or maybe not, after all, that would require doing something other than posting to an Internet bulletin board.

GalwayGuy2

Interesting article here on domestic violence. As usual only women are victims and only men are the aggressors!

While snooping on texts etc is a bit dodgy, according to the article they are suggesting that it is a violent act on a MANS part!

If you want me to be perfectly honest, studies like those actually belittle domestic violence. Yes, going through someone's texts and being overly jealous can be signs of emotional abuse, and are inherently dodgy, but it doesn't always constitute "domestic violence". It actually belittles the emotional trauma that domestic violence actually causes.

And now whenever I see one in four women will suffer domestic abuse, I will immediately be suspicious it has one of the headings of reading someone's texts.

James Jones

The Corinthian wrote: »

While I personally think that snooping on a partner's texts or emails demonstrates a serious betrayal and breach of trust, it is difficult to define it as violence with a straight face.

GalwayGuy2 wrote: »

Yes, going through someone's texts and being overly jealous can be signs of emotional abuse, and are inherently dodgy, but it doesn't always constitute "domestic violence".

Unfortunately, what is referred to in the article is "Domestic violence" and not just violence. In Ireland, the Domestic Violence Act 1996 is

"AN ACT TO MAKE PROVISION FOR THE PROTECTION OF A SPOUSE AND ANY CHILDREN OR OTHER DEPENDENT PERSONS, AND OF PERSONS IN OTHER DOMESTIC RELATIONSHIPS, WHOSE SAFETY OR WELFARE REQUIRES IT BECAUSE OF THE CONDUCT OF ANOTHER PERSON IN THE DOMESTIC RELATIONSHIP CONCERNED"

The definition in Section 1.-(1) of “welfare” includes the physical and psychological welfare of the person in question.
Snooping through text can affect a persons psychological welfare.

Pawwed Rig

Merely disagreeing with your partner will soon be domestic violence judging by that article. I agree that is really trivialises the issue when reading texts is considered abuse. I wonder is it part of a more militant strategy. If it is I can see it backfiring big time.

limklad

James Jones wrote: »

Unfortunately, what is referred to in the article is "Domestic violence" and not just violence. In Ireland, the Domestic Violence Act 1996 is

The definition in Section 1.-(1) of “welfare” includes the physical and psychological welfare of the person in question.
Snooping through text can affect a persons psychological welfare.

If that the case, I am a victim of domestic violence by ex girlfriends. I have suffered emotional and verbal abuse because they suspect that I as cheating on them when I was not. I dump them because of the false allegations. I refuse their attempts to make up. My experience is once they into false allegations they will never stop. One ex girlfriend friend broke my phone when my ex said I was texting my other girlfriend. I was texting my aunt at the time arranging to meet up with her when she is back in the country. I keep my texts short and sweet and my aunt always sign off with XXX. My aunt and I are close. I always put my full names rather than Aunt or Uncles on my contacts. One ex girlfriend sent a text message using my phone to break up with my cousin when I agree with my cousin to fix her computer. The ex girlfriend though I was having an affair with her. Me and that cousin are least likely to have a sexual affair especially when she is a lesbian.

They also abuse me when I refuse sex with them when I do not trust them. According to feminism groups that is domestic violence on my part even though I am the one been abused. Women nowadays are far more violence.

Playboy

limklad wrote: »

One ex girlfriend sent a text message using my phone to break up with my cousin when I agree with my cousin to fix her computer. The ex girlfriend though I was having an affair with her. Me and that cousin are least likely to have a sexual affair especially when she is a lesbian.

They also abuse me when I refuse sex with them when I do not trust them. According to feminism groups that is domestic violence on my part even though I am the one been abused. Women nowadays are far more violence.

Let me get this straight! You ex GF texts your cousin from your phone pretending to be you because your ex thought your cousin was a girl you were seeing and not in fact your lesbian cousin?

limklad

Playboy wrote: »

Let me get this straight! You ex GF texts your cousin from your phone pretending to be you because your ex thought your cousin was a girl you were seeing and not in fact your lesbian cousin?

Yes. We were only seeing each other within 1 week. I dump her there and then.
My cousin text, "I need you again, it is broken again"
I replied " I call over tomorrow evening" I knew she was referring to her computer. I left my phone down and went to the toilet. when I came back she had a smirk on her face and I received a text message back from my cousin "What the fcuk?" I read the sent message in case I sent screwed up message which sometimes I do with predictive text. I saw the message that was sent while I was in the toilet. It read in txt spk I translate in to proper text "I no longer want to screw you b*tch, we're finished. I have a new girlfriend! she is great :-)" I never write in text speak. I looked over to her and and asked her why she sent this text message since she was the only one in the house. She replied with anger "YOU ARE GOING OUT WITH ME! DONT EVER CHEAT ON ME AGAIN" I pick up my coat and walk to the door and calmly said before closing the front door. "No I am not, we are finished. Do not ever contact me again"

I have an app to block her persistent abusive text messages and calls. There is an app that can redirect certain phones call to another phone numbers. I was thinking about redirecting her calls to the Gardai, I though wisely, she might get an idea and make false abuse claims against me. So my Phone app will answer the phone call without ringing and immediately hang up. All text messages can be sent to another folder or immediately deleted. I left the text messages in another folder for evidence if needed for the gardai along with my abusive mother and father texts. The app I now use is Extreme Call blocker gather evidence of unwanted contacts and it brings relief to my life and it hidden on the phone from normal users and no accidental deletion of evidence. So no more calls and texts to disturb me in the middle of the day or night.

I never mentioned that my cousin lesbianism is a secret from the rest of the family. I discovered it by accident, I never told anyone and she later ask me why I never said to rest of the family. She was in a panic and was always private. I said that between you and them. I knew it was not widely known and easily figured out that she want it kept quite after discovering. We became closer after that as she trust me with her personal life and issues. Quite frankly it is a waste of my time to blare out to the world if someone is gay or lesbian to tell the world. As long as people are not abusing each other I never consider myself involved or to judge and I never be as bad as people who rat other people out.

Playboy

limklad wrote: »

Yes. We were only seeing each other within 1 week. I dump her there and then.
My cousin text, "I need you again, it is broken again"
I replied " I call over tomorrow evening" I knew she was referring to her computer. I left my phone down and went to the toilet. when I came back she had a smirk on her face and I received a text message back from my cousin "What the fcuk?" I read the sent message in case I sent screwed up message which sometimes I do with predictive text. I saw the message that was sent while I was in the toilet. It read in txt spk I translate in to proper text "I no longer want to screw you b*tch, we're finished. I have a new girlfriend! she is great :-)" I never write in text speak. I looked over to her and and asked her why she sent this text message since she was the only one in the house. She replied with anger "YOU ARE GOING OUT WITH ME! DONT EVER CHEAT ON ME AGAIN" I pick up my coat and walk to the door and calmly said before closing the front door. "No I am not, we are finished. Do not ever contact me again"

I have an app to block her persistent abusive text messages and calls. There is an app that can redirect certain phones call to another phone numbers. I was thinking about redirecting her calls to the Gardai, I though wisely, she might get an idea and make false abuse claims against me. So my Phone app will answer the phone call without ringing and immediately hang up. All text messages can be sent to another folder or immediately deleted. I left the text messages in another folder for evidence if needed for the gardai along with my abusive mother and father texts. The app I now use is Extreme Call blocker gather evidence of unwanted contacts and it brings relief to my life and it hidden on the phone from normal users and no accidental deletion of evidence. So no more calls and texts to disturb me in the middle of the day or night.

I never mentioned that my cousin lesbianism is a secret from the rest of the family. I discovered it by accident, I never told anyone and she later ask me why I never said to rest of the family. She was in a panic and was always private. I said that between you and them. I knew it was not widely known and easily figured out that she want it kept quite after discovering. We became closer after that as she trust me with her personal life and issues. Quite frankly it is a waste of my time to blare out to the world if someone is gay or lesbian to tell the world. As long as people are not abusing each other I never consider myself involved or to judge and I never be as bad as people who rat other people out.

You have a very 'interesting' personal life Limklad! A little bit OT but fascinating!

The Corinthian

limklad, TBH I think you're simply the victim of a psycho-ex scenario. Both genders are subject to that danger, although if it ever did result in assault or injury the chances of a female perpetrator getting off more lightly or away with it completely, and a male one, are significantly higher.

James Jones

Playboy wrote: »

Jury has been discharged due to their failure to even reach a majority verdict.
...
Now we face the expense of a retrial which no doubt she will win.

Quite surprised to read she was found guilty:
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2013/0307/breaking48.html