Women enjoying a drink in the pub alone.

Miss Lockhart

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Well it all depends on what comments you'd consider man-hating and what you'd consider woman-hating. Your view is slightly biased.

Well, I pointed out what I considered misogynistic. Could you point out what you consider man-hating? That was what I asked.

Eve_Dublin

py2006 wrote: »

Wow, not sure what to make of that. Women are harassed.....by drunken men in pick up joints.

Women are not harassed by respectful men in respectful bars.

How do you know that?

Eve_Dublin

Madilynn Gentle Narcotic wrote: »

Off to bed now to snuggle up with the boyfriend.

But you hate men How could that be???

Daveysil15

To be fair they're as bad as each other. I do remember words like 'bitter' and 'twisted been thrown at VEN. So she gives as good as she gets, although I'm not sure who started it. Eve also said something to me about the 'price of milk' which was just stupid and condescending and had nothing to do with the post, but there you go.

Eve_Dublin

Daveysil15 wrote: »

To be fair they're as bad as each other. I do remember words like 'bitter' and 'twisted been thrown at VEN. So she gives as good as she gets, although I'm not sure who started it. Eve also said something to me about the 'price of milk' which was just stupid and condescending and had nothing to do with the post, but there you go.

Maybe you should have a read back to see who started it. Firstly, it was implied that I'm "easy" and it continued from there...read first to get your facts straight.

And my comment was a joke and not an example of man hating ffs :rolleyes:

VEN

Madilynn Gentle Narcotic wrote: »

Nobody needs to twist anything. It's as clear as day from your own posts what you think of women.

hey hey now what i think of some women which is true. they love attention, they love to reject, they love to have the power. you can think all you like. i don't lack the type of low self esteem and fear of how i look to the outside world when i walk out the door. so the women who tell us, we need confidence for them to like us, can't really talk, can they?

we just don't do fake.

2-3 feminists on here tonight, not bad.

PC CDROM

Its pretty much the whole mating ritual.

Fat= no
Ugly= no

I am ugly buggly so I come under no.

Daveysil15

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Maybe you should have a read back to see who started it. Firstly, it was implied that I'm "easy" and it continued from there...read first to get your facts straight.

And my comment was a joke and not an example of man hating ffs :rolleyes:

Well why bother replying to him then? And I never said your comment was man hating.

VEN

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

And my comment was a joke and not an example of man hating ffs :rolleyes:

no, you do have something against irish men, obviously. bad experience was it?

don't worry, your feminists buddies here with the 10 millions posts will help you.

VEN

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

But you hate men How could that be???

its a mind game thing, didn't work with me. she's snuggling up to her cat.

py2006

People, don't derail the thread. Women drinking alone, yea.....

Eve_Dublin

VEN wrote: »

no, you do have something against irish men, obviously. bad experience was it? .

Forever alone, eh? Oh well...

Eve_Dublin

py2006 wrote: »

People, don't derail the thread. Women drinking alone, yea.....

I think everything worthwhile that's going to be said has been said.

/thread

VEN

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Forever alone, eh? Oh well...

scraping the bone? ouch

Miss Lockhart

VEN wrote: »

course you would, cos i've eh a low post count. easy to pick on me, are you a bully?

I never look at anyone's post count. My own is hardly that high at less than one post per day!

VEN wrote: »

"bitter" "twisted" quite strong words to use towards someone who likes to hold their own and not give attention to women? oh should i crawl over them? or would i be a 'tosser' then?

men don't want manipulating, mentally hurtful type women in their lives. is that a bitter view???

Bitter and twisted has nothing to do with holding your own. You can do what you like with your attention. Nothing bitter with not wanting a maniplative woman.

What is bitter and twisted is your view that women are only interested in men for their bank balance, that all women love attention, that a foreign man is only with an Irish woman for a Visa, that all women love mind games.

VEN wrote: »

i think 'twisted' applies to you misandrist

Can you show where I've displayed my misandry?

Fizzlesque

py2006 wrote: »

People, don't derail the thread. Women drinking alone, yea.....

I think it's well and truly derailed at this stage

VEN

Miss Lockhart wrote: »

Bitter and twisted has nothing to do with holding your own. You can do what you like with your attention. Nothing bitter with not wanting a maniplative woman.

What is bitter and twisted is your view that women are only interested in men for their bank balance, that all women love attention, that a foreign man is only with an Irish woman for a Visa, that all women love mind games.



Can you show where I've displayed my misandry?

remove the 'all' there please, trying to manipulate my words are we? point proven

Varied

Miss Lockhart wrote: »

Can you show where I've displayed my misandry?

Earlier in the thread...

Miss Lockhart wrote: »

Then there are plenty of pathetic men around!

Miss Lockhart

VEN wrote: »

remove the 'all' there please, trying to manipulate my words are we? point proven

Well, I don't see you differentiating in the examples below.

Women love attention.

"Mind games, it thought that was how ye worked it"

VEN wrote: »

you're a dublin gal alright, "some fooked up thinking there pal..."

women love attention - fact. i choose not to give it, they can chase me, they can look at me, time to change my dear, equal opportunities and all that. nothing 'foooked up' about that, its called self control and loving it!

oh i thought he was argentinian, i bet you walk all over him, mentally too mind.

VEN wrote: »

oh you don't do mind games, it thought that was how ye worked it?

Miss Lockhart

Varied wrote: »

Earlier in the thread...

That was in response to somebody saying that a man would want to be pathetic to respond badly to a friendly rejection. As I had said, I have had that experience many times - so obviously there are men who fit that poster's description of "pathetic".

Nowhere did I suggest most or all men are pathetic. Just those who act as described.

VEN

VEN wrote: »

some love attention but i've learned not to give it

...

VEN

Miss Lockhart wrote: »

That was in response to somebody saying that a man would want to be pathetic to respond badly to a friendly rejection. As I had said, I have had that experience many times - so obviously there are men who fit that poster's description of "pathetic".

Nowhere did I suggest most or all men are pathetic. Just those who act as described.

the 'mosts' and the 'alls' make ALL the difference don't they?

pathetic is right

Tigger99

Anyways......

I'm female and I've sat in a bar by myself if Im on holidays alone or waiting for a friend etc.

On occasions I have had blokes approach me. It's a fine line, I didn't want to assume that they are chatting me up, they could just be shooting the breeze, but at the same time, at the time I had no interest in being chatted up if thats what they are doing (btw to suggest that if the bloke was attractive etc I'd suddenly want to be chatted up, well, eh, no it doesnt work like that).

Anyway I've alternated between saying very politely that I just want to sit by myself and listen to the band etc and getting told that I must be conceited becuase they weren't chatting me up (ok, never said you were) and shotting the breeze and having it turn into weird pickup lines resulting in me not feeling comfortable and having the leave the bar.

Now shock horror, I love men, especially Irish men, but shock horror number 2 Im a feminist* and I would love to be able to sit in a bar on my own without the assumption that I am there to be picked up.

I find a glass of wine can often taste better in a pub;), might find myself at a loose end before meeting someone or just want to have a drink and watch the world go by.

I have never gone to the pub by myself to score, in fact its the last situation I would want to score in as I'd be even more aware of my personal safety (no friend there to see who I left with etc)

*Dont think I made the link very clear here, it'd be nice to be treated the same as a bloke who is out for a pint of his own, looked at with mild curiousity but otherwise left alone

srm23

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

And my comment was a joke and not an example of man hating ffs :rolleyes:

i don't like foul-mouthed women, if i saw you alone in the bar i wouldn't approach you.

before 2am

Fizzlesque

Tigger99 wrote: »

Now shock horror, I love men, especially Irish men, but shock horror number 2 Im a feminist* and I would love to be able to sit in a bar on my own without the assumption that I am there to be picked up.

I find a glass of wine can often taste better in a pub;), might find myself at a loose end before meeting someone or just want to have a drink and watch the world go by.


*Dont think I made the link very clear here, it'd be nice to be treated the same as a bloke who is out for a pint of his own, looked at with mild curiousity but otherwise left alone

I'm glad you brought up 'especially loving Irish men', Tigger because I, too, especially love Irish men, and there have been a few times on this board when the Irish V Other Nationalities arguments start, and both genders, in the Irish corner, are shredded, I've been tempted to comment how great I think Irish men are. Obviously not the ones who can't find a good word to say about Irish women, but that's not all Irish men, thank goodness.

I've dated lots of different nationalities over the years and a few years ago I realised I preferred Irish men. In my experience [and I should add here, that I mostly meet kind and decent men, something I put down to having grown up with four fantastic brothers (and my dad, I was the only female in the house) who gave me a very positive template for what kind of men I should be looking for] Irish men are more fun, they make me laugh a lot, and aren't intimidated by the concept of treating a woman as an equal and underneath their blokey-jokey bluster, can be wonderfully sensitive and kind, as and when kind, sensitivity is needed.

Feeona

They're great craic , and extremely respectful towards women....any men I was fortunate enough to meet.

Irish men ftw!

Jogathon

I find that Irish men just are great fun - it's the same sense of humour, the local jokes, and the general respect for women as an intelligent equal.

But this thread was about women sitting in a pub by themselves....

Fizzlesque

Jogathon wrote: »

But this thread was about women sitting in a pub by themselves....

Yes, it was but then it got quite itchy scratchy and trundled downhill.....and then Tigger posted about Irish men being lovely and I thought it a wonderful way to untrundle the thread

Eve_Dublin

srm23 wrote: »

i don't like foul-mouthed women, if i saw you alone in the bar i wouldn't approach you.

before 2am

Jesus wept!

py2006

Nice of you to say about Irish men and I would have to say the same about most Irish women too.

Getting back to the original topic, I think suburban pubs might be the easier option for having a quiet drink on your own. Town is a different kettle of fish because you can't be too certain of the clientele.

Lux23

I often go for a drink or two on my own, you do get the odd look or you get some people who come over and make such a huge deal about it when you are on your own but I don't really care. Also if I am out at night and everyone else is too tired to stay out I will often end up staying out on my own, it doesn't bother me in the slightest if I am somewhere that I can dance. I know lots of people who would never do that though whether they be male or female, sure I know some who couldn't even go to the cinema on their own.

hatrickpatrick

Good God. :eek:

This thread is an absolutely astounding eye opener into just how f*cked up Irish social relations actually are. And I'm not singling out either gender there, ye're as bad as eachother.

Then I remember that Boards.ie is totally unrepresentative of most Irish men and women, and breath a heavy sigh of relief.

I don't really know who's to blame for the state of sex in Ireland. Some would say the Catholic church, some would say Irish history, idk. It's quite depressing when the extremes of it come out in threads like this.

OldNotWIse

News to me tbh. I would never have a problem with it.

Men that think a woman sitting alone is looking to be chatted up need to try hard to get over themselves.

Women who think that sitting alone will get them chatted up need to try even harder to get over themselves.

This is not 1950 and it is not Iran.

I had a pint and a fag in the pub by myself last week - because I had taken the car out by myself and needed to recover - needless to say someone else had to drive home

Lionel Messy

OldNotWIse wrote: »

News to me tbh. I would never have a problem with it.

Men that think a woman sitting alone is looking to be chatted up need to try hard to get over themselves.

Women who think that sitting alone will get them chatted up need to try even harder to get over themselves.

This is not 1950 and it is not Iran.

I had a pint and a fag in the pub by myself last week - because I had taken the car out by myself and needed to recover - needless to say someone else had to drive home

No wonder you didn't get chatted up if you were smoking in the pub.

OldNotWIse

xzanti wrote: »

I love to go for lunch by myself, get myself a magazine and munch away I'm a very independent person and I'm very comfortable with my own company..

But I draw the line at drinking alone in a bar... I'm sorry but if I saw a woman drinking alone in a bar I would judge her..

The words "do you come here often" spring to mind.

Judge her for what exactly?

OldNotWIse

Lionel Messy wrote: »

No wonder you didn't get chatted up if you were smoking in the pub.

You're one of the ones that was rejected, right?

christmas2012

Why judge her for being in a bar on her own,i think thats a little backward,she could be waiting for someone,or just enjoying her own company,its a free country people can do what they like within the barriers of law and reason..

VEN

Lionel Messy wrote: »

No wonder you didn't get chatted up if you were smoking in the pub.

perhaps wasn't looking to be chatted up.

was once at a house party, was only in the door 30 minutes when an irish girl followed me in to the toilet, closed and locked the door behind her and started to quiz me as to why i wasn't hitting on the mostly foreign girls there. all of this stuff started coming out of her, "you just need to be confident" "you should go out there and try" bizarre in that i had only arrived and i just told her, "i never said i was interested in any of these girls, i just got here, leave me alone"

i never met her before, then i thought maybe she was hoping i'd hit on her.

left me confused.

validusername1

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

Good God. :eek:

This thread is an absolutely astounding eye opener into just how f*cked up Irish social relations actually are. And I'm not singling out either gender there, ye're as bad as eachother.

Then I remember that Boards.ie is totally unrepresentative of most Irish men and women, and breath a heavy sigh of relief.

I don't really know who's to blame for the state of sex in Ireland. Some would say the Catholic church, some would say Irish history, idk. It's quite depressing when the extremes of it come out in threads like this.

Interested to know what you mean by this and what the 'state of sex in Ireland' actually is, in your opinion?

hatrickpatrick

validusername1 wrote: »

Interested to know what you mean by this and what the 'state of sex in Ireland' actually is, in your opinion?

The amount of apparent bitterness between the genders for a start.
The fact that being approached by a guy is automatically regarded as a horrible bad by many women, apparently.
The fact that guys seem to think a smile or a "hello" back signals an automatic shag later on.
The whole "boys on one side, girls on the other side" vibe we have going on in Ireland.

Maybe this is just me, but in other countries I find people are far more relaxed. We have a serious amount of repression in this country, which can probably still be traced back to pervasive social conservatism for generations.

Check this article out:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/moslive/article-457684/Rihanna-The-girls-gone-bad.html

Rihanna wrote:

"I?ve met loads of men like that in Britain. British men tend to be very forward, too, and I find that very attractive."
She gives me a saucy Babs Windsor wink ? and then suddenly deflates.
"But then I visited Dublin recently and didn?t get chatted up once! That was so disappointing. Not that there?s much I could have done about it. I?m so busy that I?ve got no time for a boyfriend right now."

Quote from Rihanna about her time in Ireland.

Now check these two out.
http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/independent-woman/love-sex/y-the-txtage-irishman-is-just-drving-me-crzy-2844075.html

Article by a woman lamenting the shyness of Irish guys.

http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/independent-woman/love-sex/hey-lottie-do-you-really-want-to-know-why-irish-men-drink-so-much-before-chatting-up-women-2840511.html

Response by a guy about why this is the case. This part in particular stands out:

As Lottie points out, in most European countries and especially in the US, it's quite acceptable for a guy to randomly approach a girl and ask her for her number and a date. It's a civilised, grown-up dating culture (and as such has no place in Catholic Ireland).

But you should try to do this in Dublin, Cork or Galway. Seriously, go up to a girl on the street or in a cafe and try to chat her up. You are as likely to spend the next hour talking to a guard as the lady in question.

A lot of women tend to assume that if you are a stranger showing an interest in them, you are some sort of escaped weirdo. It may be a sensible defence mechanism, but it does make life difficult for single guys.

A friend of mine was recently chatted up by a charming French man while out strolling in Dublin city centre and they later went on a date.

When I asked her how she would have reacted if an Irish guy had tried the same strategy, she basically said: "First, no Irish guy would EVER do that. And if he did, you would know right away that he was some sort of weirdo."

And there you have it -- random French guys are charming; random Irish guys are weirdos or losers.

This thread confirms a lot of it, I feel. The number of woman suggesting that being approached is a bad thing in itself, and on the flipside the number of guys with a sense of entitlement just for saying hi.

'tis rather depressing.

I never noticed this until I travelled a bit and discovered that this kind of awkwardness just melts away in other places.

py2006

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

Article by a woman lamenting the shyness of Irish guys.

http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/independent-woman/love-sex/hey-lottie-do-you-really-want-to-know-why-irish-men-drink-so-much-before-chatting-up-women-2840511.html

I have to say that article is appalling and does her no favours. Any man reading that would run a mile, Irish or otherwise.

There've been plenty of opportunities for men to ask me out but, one by one, they've proven that they're either (a) unable to get the words out or (b) couldn't be arsed unless women are falling over them.

Again, this is just my experience. I'm sure there are Irish men out there who know how to woo an Irish woman -- I just haven't met one yet.

The above quote says it all really. :rolleyes:

hatrickpatrick

py2006 wrote: »

I have to say that article is appalling and does her no favours. Any man reading that would run a mile, Irish or otherwise.




The above quote says it all really. :rolleyes:

IMO there's both men and women in it. We just have some serious hangups and repressions in this country. All I have are theories about why that is.
As I said in another thread, I find the easiest way to chat up a girl without risking any of the above is to start an argument with her in the queue for the cloakroom. An accusation of trying to skip can lead to some surprisingly pleasant results.

MrMojoRisin

I know my sister often goes out for a drink on her own. Sometimes she says she doesn't even order alcohol - maybe a Coke or a hot chocolate. The pubs she goes to aren't the manic, booze-guzzling places that blare out music though. She says she goes to the cinema by herself as well. I'd say she just enjoys her own company.

She's young and, objectively speaking, attractive, but I've never heard any mention of any bloke attempting to chat her up, or chat her up successfully. Never.

Then again, I know she tends to draw herself into herself quite a bit when she's around people she doesn't know. She wouldn't be very extroverted or attention-seeking. Another thing is that fellas might be intimidated by her because she's probably above-average looks-wise.

Anyway, I don't see anything 'wrong' with, or strange about, a woman going out for a drink on her own, or anything else. If I saw a woman I found attractive sitting on her own in a pub (this would be after a few drinks though ), I might consider approaching her if she looked 'open' to interaction (I suppose her body language would be a giveaway). If she looked 'closed off' and had that 'I'm taken' air about her, then I'd leave her alone.

But, yeah, I think it's normal for a woman to go out for a drink on her own. It shows she's independent and secure enough in herself to do that. At the end of the day, it's just a person going out for some 'me time'.

py2006

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

IMO there's both men and women in it. We just have some serious hangups and repressions in this country. All I have are theories about why that is.
As I said in another thread, I find the easiest way to chat up a girl without risking any of the above is to start an argument with her in the queue for the cloakroom. An accusation of trying to skip can lead to some surprisingly pleasant results.

Hahaha and risk getting beaten up by her skangery boyfriend no thanks.

xzanti

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Judge her for what exactly?

I'm talking about women dolled up to the nines, sitting up at the bar on their OWN, out for the night?.. I'm sorry it just smacks of desperation..

Of course if it was lunchtime and she was on a laptop or reading or something, or, as I said, in an Airport passing an hour or 2, that's different.

py2006

xzanti wrote: »

I'm talking about women dolled up to the nines, sitting up at the bar on their OWN, out for the night?.. I'm sorry it just smacks of desperation..

Of course if it was lunchtime and she was on a laptop or reading or something, or, as I said, in an Airport passing an hour or 2, that's different.

Could she not be waiting the late arrival of her friends/boyfriend?

Daveysil15

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

As I said in another thread, I find the easiest way to chat up a girl without risking any of the above is to start an argument with her in the queue for the cloakroom. An accusation of trying to skip can lead to some surprisingly pleasant results.

Ha something like that happened to me once, except it was her starting an argument with me. We ended up hitting it off in the end though.

xzanti

py2006 wrote: »

Could she not be waiting the late arrival of her friends/boyfriend?

Yeah, I think after a certain length of time of her sitting there it would become clear if that was the case...

Daveysil15

xzanti wrote: »

I'm talking about women dolled up to the nines, sitting up at the bar on their OWN, out for the night?.. I'm sorry it just smacks of desperation.

I don't see anything wrong with that. Maybe her friends were busy and she fancied a night out. I wouldn't judge someone for been out on their own. What about a guy going to a club alone to meet people? Does that smack of desperation too? It's that sort of mentality that makes it difficult to meet people in this country.

eviltwin

xzanti wrote: »

I'm talking about women dolled up to the nines, sitting up at the bar on their OWN, out for the night?.. I'm sorry it just smacks of desperation..

Of course if it was lunchtime and she was on a laptop or reading or something, or, as I said, in an Airport passing an hour or 2, that's different.

Oh god I have often being that woman :eek: I will go into town to meet friends and if I am the first one there I'll go in get a seat and order a drink. Why would I bother wait outside? I'm pretty shocked to think that men would think I'm some kind of sad singleton just praying some man will take pity on me and talk to me