Can I Sue & Get Money?

Cruel Sun · 17-06-2012 12:47am #1

Today I was on a day out from the old folks home with a few of my comrades (I'm 94). I decided to go to the local music shop, to my horror when I got there all of our old favourite records such as Billie Holiday and Bo Diddley were nowhere to be seen.

On questioning a young punk with long hair, he told me that they were in the "Oldies" section. "The Oldies section, you hippie, what they doing there" I said to him. He then told me that I was making a scene and that I would have to leave. On refusing to leave he tried pushing me out the door.

Now, I've been to Vietnam and I've witnessed some ****, but being pushed out the door by a jazz loving hippie takes the biscuit.

I snapped. I punched him in the neck, leaving him in agony. An old war trick I picked up while being a captive of the Viet Cong army.

Then my comrades Bill and Curtis, who are 87 and 92 respectively started hitting him on the head with their tobacco pipes. Suddenly music started playing.

This was the music that was playing.

Suddenly everyone started dancing and singing in synchronization, before I new it the whole store had broke into song. All the over 75's in the store started doing the hokie pokie, it was amazing. A trip down memory lane to my old boogying days. I still haven't lost it.

The young hippie on recovering from my attack, got up and started shouting "No No, stop this music.....it's not as good as My Chemical Romance", I had had enough.

I kung foo chopped him in the face, he collapsed. We made a break for it dancing and singing to the beat of Bo Diddley all the way home.

Now to my question, can I sue this young hippie for being disrespectful to me, an old war veteran?