'I Wouldnt ride her into battle', 'Her face looks like a bag of bent euros'

Smidge

I'd eat a scabby babies arse through a chair

I'd eat a nun's arse through a convent gate

spacecookie555

An aul butter face, pronounced but-her-face, she has everything but the face.

If I dont see ya through the week i'll be seeing ya through the window!

sparks24

she has a fanny like a horses mouth crossing the line at Cheltenham

theteal

Half the town has been with her, sure she has a gash like a wizards sleeve!

Lima Golf

About someone wearing too much tan and make up:
She looks like a varnished clown.

hatrickpatrick

"You've a face like a pair of tits."
"Well at least that's one pair between us!"

--Father Ted

KKkitty

He's so ugly even his network operator wouldn't go down on him.
She's so fat her marquee was the wedding dress.
You're as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike.

policarp

Samich wrote: »

This is an original thread.

Boards is just one big circle.

Your round. . .

Seaneh

"I wouldn't get up on her to get over a wall!"

"Ride her? I wouldn't ****ing mug her!"

"She's a face like a burst slipper!"

Royal Irish

He is so unlucky if it was raining fanny's he'd get hit with a cock.

policarp

Seaneh wrote: »

"I wouldn't get up on her to get over a wall!"

"Ride her? I wouldn't ****ing mug her!"

"She's a face like a burst slipper!"

She mustn't be your type so. . .

marwelie

He's so slow that in a two horse race he'd come third

You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was
only one life jacket.... I'd miss you and think of you often.

mikemac1

Our corner forward is so scrawny he'd need to run around the shower a few times just to get wet - your nine stone nothing corner forward.

marcsignal

You're as useless as Anne Franks drum kit....

Jesus Wept

A face like yesterday's porridge.

ManofStraw

I left her with a face like a painters radio

policarp

LiamSevenfold wrote: »

Share your funnyest expressions / Insults.. Me and the mates wanna good laugh

Liam your skin has only six folds you skinny ******. . .

Rango555

alan1990 wrote: »

She's seen more japs eye than an japanese optician

She has what you would call a wonder butt.... her clothes come off and you wonder where it went.

ColeTrain

She's a whore, you'd be as well sticking yer cock out the window and shagging the night.

later12

Years after I first heard it, I still think the term "cum dumpster" is the most concise, vulgar & delicious of all insults.

policarp

Next year I won't be able to ride her into battle.
Cause she's decommissioned . . .

Mance Rayder

He has teeth like the ten commandments.

toastedpickles

Her arse is as wide as a Leitrim hurlers shot

mikemac1

Oompa-Loompa - girl plastered in so much fake tan her new skin colour is orange

And if you never heard of Oompa-Loompa, well what were you doing on Christmas Day during your childhood!

BillyMitchel

I'm sweating like a blind lesbian in a fish mongers

sjoyce87

"Head on ya like a boiled sh¡te"

bob the bob

Regarding buck teeth:
"he could eat an Apple through a letter box"

deisebibo

He'd get up on the screech of a tyre.

He has a face, looks like it went on fire and someone put it out with a shovel.

frag420

Daz wouldn't shift her

Des Kelly wouldn't lay her

She wouldn't get a kick in a stampede

She's got a face that could make an onion cry

She's had more hands up her than Bosco

Everyone has a right to be ugly, but she abuses the privilege

mikemac1

He's so desperate he'd ride the crack on a dinner plate/ the crack in the footpath

He smells worse then a calf with scour

Face on her like a badger and she's just as vicious

Kev_2012

I wouldn't hop a brick off her.

She had a face like a busted Crunchie.

He'd get up on a cold morning.

She'd suck a snooker ball through a length of Wavin.

ShagNastii

I swear he was conceived through anal sex. There is no way being that much of an asshole is natural.

chughes

She's so fat, ridin' her would be like throwing a sausage up O'Connell Street.

Keephercountry

Im so hungry id ate a nuns arse through a convent gate

She had a a set a teeth on er shed ate an apple through a tennis racket/letterbox

She had a face only her mother could love

Im as sick as a small plane to lourdes!!

I seen better legs hangin outa a snackbox

She had more teeth than a ferrari gearbox!!

Hed get up on a scuttery hen that lad!!!

Haha

GiftofGab

A face on her that would stop on invasion (when angry)

mikemac1

I'm so hungry I'd eat a scabby Ethiopian - haven't heard that one since the early nineties.

Keephercountry

She had a head on er shed turn back a tinkers funeral!! Haha

Keephercountry

Shes had more cock that hot dinners!!

Shed take mickey outa boilin water

frag420

She was so ugly that when she threw a boomerang it didnt return!!

mikemac1

Give her a good ridin like Charlie Swan

Lads I was like Stephen Roche last night, just ridin for hours

Keephercountry

Shed suck the chrome off a ball hitch!!

Vicxas

Id eat 3 miles of her ****e to get to her arse!

She got a shockin beatin' of the ugly stick

I woudnt ride you into battle

She could suck a golf ball through a garden hose..


To name a few!

Tazium

If I'd a bag full of willies, I wouldn't give her one.

CiaranMcDCFC

She would eat cock off a conveyor belt!

Cee-Jay-Cee

He/she is that miserable that if he/she dropped 10c it would hit them on the back if the head as they bent down to pick it up.

As stupid as mud.

Ah god love him he went to school on a special bus, he missed it most days and was hit by it several times too.

Macers

She's seen more helmets than Hitler.

_pure_mule_

shes nice from far but far from nice!

7ofBrian

She's a face like a bucket of smashed crabs!

Crooked Jack

Ya couldnt love him in you breast fed him

And that's the craic she said, with one leg up on the dashboard and nothing on but the radio

I also like the terms Flesh Lettuce, Meat Curtains and Axe Wound

PogMoThoin

She's got a fanny like a torn wellie