What's the protocol about taking a dump in someone else's house?

castletownman

In bed with a young wan. You feel the bowel movements. Do you a) hit the jacks while running the risk of encountering very noisy plumbing, therefore waking up the whole house or b) hold it in while running the risk of stinking out the bed and/or ****eing yourself?

One of life's great conundrums!

massdebater

Do it on her chest.

OakeyDokey

Go to the f*cking toilet man!

later12

Your choices are:

(a) go "brush your teeth" and do an extremely rapid poo; light a match and don't disclose a thing.

(b) go home, poo, and sleep alone!

FanadMan

Take a dump like a man, clean the toilet bowl and spray the bathroom with any smelly cans that are in there - mind you, not as easy to hide if you drink Guinness :pac:

castletownman

later12 wrote: »

Your choices are:

(a) go "brush your teeth" and do an extremely rapid poo; light a match and don't disclose a thing.

(b) go home, poo, and sleep alone!

Flaw in that advice. If I was in her house, whose toothbrush would I be using? Another conundrum!

Mr. Rager

I just don't get how you can be ridin' someone, holding in a turd and asking AH all at the same time OP. She might throw you out if you don't get off the laptop and get on her instead.

castletownman

Mr. Rager wrote: »

I just don't get how you can be ridin' someone, holding in a turd and asking AH all at the same time OP. She might throw you out if you don't get off the laptop and get on her instead.

Woah woah woah! Not saying this is happening now! Actually happened a couple of nights ago. Just looking for future advice! And by way of information I went for option b) although I accused her of doing it so either way it didn't work.

Spread

If you manufacture them nice and tapered ......... why not do it into a french letter, tie a knot in the end, put it in her smalls drawer and Hasta la Vista.
Just thought I'd say that before this is locked

Cookie_Monster

use the cistern, hides the evidence but leaves a nice surprise for later on

the groutch

Leave
Do poo at Paul's
Return

flowerchild

I am intrigued as to how you can be intimate enough to have sex with her but not intimate enough to use her bathroom?

Surely everyone goes to the toilet? As I say to my boys, everyone does it - there's nothing to be ashamed about. Isn't that what you believe as an adult?

Jesus Wept

Thread needs Flutt.

castletownman

flowerchild wrote: »

I am intrigued as to how you can be intimate enough to have sex with her but not intimate enough to use her bathroom?

Surely everyone goes to the toilet? As I say to my boys, everyone does it - there's nothing to be ashamed about. Isn't that what you believe as an adult?

In fairness, when the mickey is talking all other bodily parts take a back seat. It's afterwards when you realise your brewing a big one that I'm referring to

xsiborg

clearly you missed out on the film "trainspotting".

for future reference OP, your sphincter muscle relaxes when you come, so if you actually do take the risk of constipating yourself, it wont do much good when you come.

stoneill

Leave the bathroom door open while taking the loudest noisiest grunting shít ever, use her laundry to wipe your hole and then set fire to a small hand towel.
Guaranteed to get the best ride ever after that.

Spread

stoneill wrote: »

Leave the bathroom door open while taking the loudest noisiest grunting shít ever, use her laundry to wipe your hole and then set fire to a small hand towel.
Guaranteed to get the best ride ever after that.

Northside or Southside?

castletownman

xsiborg wrote: »

clearly you missed out on the film "trainspotting".

for future reference OP, your sphincter muscle relaxes when you come, so if you actually do take the risk of constipating yourself, it wont do much good when you come.

So basically your advice is to leave as messy a bedsheet as possible?!!

xsiborg

castletownman wrote: »

xsiborg wrote: »

clearly you missed out on the film "trainspotting".

for future reference OP, your sphincter muscle relaxes when you come, so if you actually do take the risk of constipating yourself, it wont do much good when you come.

So basically your advice is to leave as messy a bedsheet as possible?!!

well if you insist on using her bed like a lavatory, go the whole hog and give her a golden shower while you're at it!

common sense man- get out of the bed and go use the lavatory like a normal person above the age of two!

Captain Darling

castletownman wrote: »

In bed with a young wan. !

:eek: Shall we call you Father Castletownman?

holystungun9

At the moment of orgasm just push it out. There's a very high chance that she will be into that kind of thing.

Mr.Crinklewood

Just make sure that you go back into the correct bedroom.

Use the red towel under the stairs the one for pubic hairs

Use the red towel under the stairs the one for pubic hairs

Skuxx

Is it just me or can you tell when an OP has less than
~200 posts by their thread titles when you see them on the home screen!!

padd b1975

If its brown, flush it down.

If its yellow, let it mellow.

Northern Monkey

Give her a dirty sanchez

danniemcq

the groutch wrote: »

Leave
Do poo at Paul's
Return

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

ARGH

god dammit now that f*cking ad is stuck in my head

Skuxx

Northern Monkey wrote: »

Give her a dirty sanchez

Or a Cleveland Steamer!