A dog/animal lovers dilemma

IrishHomer

Sorry for this i know similar threads were on here before but i would love some peoples opinions/advice once again.

Some of you may recall here i lost a very much loved male black labrador in March 2011, and last Friday i also lost my much loved 3yr old male German Shepherd due to him getting jealous of family members getting close to me and him attacking my son and causing him serious injuries.

No words can tell you the hurt and the pain of having to euthenaise your best freind, i will never get over the pain and trauma this whole event. My son is on the mend and he might be getting his scars uncovered tonight he had over 22 stitches in his upper face.

so bottom line is that i adore dogs and all birds and animals for all of my 42 yrs on this earth.

Even now with no dog i find myself looking closely with envy at any dogs i see being walked. I hink the pain and the hassle of your pet dog passing away i sso great that i dont want this stress anymore or at least for the foreseeable future. Although if i was living on my own with no kids i would get myself at least two German Shepherds and possibly a whole gang of dogs.

Has any other dog lovers out there been in similar circumstances and if so please share your experiences and advice.

planetX

I know you've been through hell, and no-one wants to kick you when you're down..... but PLEASE do not even think about another dog, even in the dreamy way you wrote in your post, until you understand exactly what went wrong with the last one. You may be a fan of a certain breed, but sometimes it just isn't the right one for you. Get a kitten;)

IrishHomer

I have two cats they are no comparison to dogs.

planetX

IrishHomer wrote: »

I have two cats they are no comparison to dogs.

Independence is a good thing...
How about volunteering at a rescue somewhere down the line? You could get your doggie fix doing that.

Ann22

I don't see why you can't plan for another dog. Why don't you volunteer in a local rescue group? You can keep an eye out for a good family breed. That way you'll know your much loved German Shepherd didn't die in vain...you'll be giving a lonely unloved dog a home. Most dogs make great family pets. if you're fond of a more butch type dog a Staffie is great with people -not so good with other dogs so you'll have to be careful letting him off the lead.

RubyGirl

You may want a dog but what about your son, will he have a fear of dog's? where have you told him the other dog is gone? what will your partner say to another dog coming into the house.

I would go with volunteering for the moment.

Tranceypoo

You definitely need to give yourself time to grieve, it could take a long time, it could take a shorter time, there's no guarantees.

When my dog died very suddenly just over 5 years ago now, I was so heartbroken that it was a while until I even felt like I could be around other dogs, when I did, I started volunteering at the local spca and it didn't take me long to fall in love and bring a dog home forever, but I really had to wait until I was ready so please give yourself and your family the time to grieve/adjust etc.

fatmammycat

Without wishing to offend IH, I would forgo getting another dog for a spell, and I might give serious thought to ever getting a GSD again. Having read your original post- not just the one regarding your son- your dog's displays were clearly signposting a disaster waiting to happen and now the unfortunate animal is dead and your son maimed.
Some dogs are not suitable for certain personalities. It is not a reflection on you as a dog owner by any stretch of the imagination, but certainly the behaviour (your dog was exhibiting) was a clear indication – at least to me– that it was insecure and a potentially dangerous animal: yet nothing was done to address the manifest problem.
I own an RB dog and understand the huge loss you are enduring; but you have other responsibilites at this time, mainly to your children. I would think very carefully about them and their safety before you go down the route of another dog. Should you get another dog I would ask you to consider basic training and involve the whole family in the raising, upkeep and mental wellbeing of said animal so that the attachment the animal forms is to the family unit as a whole, and not just to one individual- no matter how flattering that might seem at the time.
Best to you and yours.

orchidsrpretty

He says it in the op, the dog was shot by a farmer.

Magenta

OP, I would agree with the other posters.
You need to sit down and have a long hard think about the responsibilities owning a dog entails.

Responsibility to the dog to provide it with love and care, responsibility to everyone to make sure the dog is properly trained and not a danger to itself, your family or others/others animals- going by that link where 2 of your dogs were shot for worrying sheep, that is the 3rd time you have lost a dog because of its actions on another living being.

I hope that this time you will listen to what is good advice.

IrishHomer

Magenta wrote: »

OP, I would agree with the other posters.
You need to sit down and have a long hard think about the responsibilities owning a dog entails.

Responsibility to the dog to provide it with love and care, responsibility to everyone to make sure the dog is properly trained and not a danger to itself, your family or others/others animals- going by that link where 2 of your dogs were shot for worrying sheep, that is the 3rd time you have lost a dog because of its actions on another living being.

I hope that this time you will listen to what is good advice.

I know I was a pretty ood responsible dog owner.

The pair of dogs that were shot back in 1997 were really my partners dogs and her responsibility back then and not mine.

It's funny I spent over €600 on a nice big dog run and I was such a softy I hardly put the dog into it.

Was tough last night out cutting the grass. So many memories and signs from him around the garden.

sambuka41

IrishHomer wrote: »

Was tough last night out cutting the grass. So many memories and signs from him around the garden.

This is why you shouldn't be making any decisions at this time, you are still grieving. Let the dust settle, give it a couple of months and see how you and your family feel about it then.

If you AND your family decide to get another dog, source the training before you get the dog, so that you are ready to start on the right footing. Take this time to save so that if this situation occurs again you can afford to have a real consultation with a behaviourist, not a phone call. Personally if I were your partner I would insist that all that be in place before even thinking of looking at another dog.

Go to a rescue and speak with the staff, stress the need for a dog that will suit a family, you'll have a better chance getting a dog that you can manage from a rescue than buying yourself.

And speak with your son, this may not be something he wants, I'd imagine it was traumatizing experience for him, let him decide when he is ready to trust another dog, if you bring a dog into the house before your son is ready you are asking for trouble. The dog will sense that your son is nervous or anxious, in turn this will make the dog anxious

marijame

What happened to the German pointer you rescued? The one who was worrying your 3 cats?

IrishHomer

marijame wrote: »

What happened to the German pointer you rescued? The one who was worrying your 3 cats?

He was not officially or regaly my dog, I just gave him a helping hand including vet work that cost over €150 that just shows how much I think of dogs, he vanished hi like to think he went back to where he came from, very rough morning today I went out for short walk local sports field had to do u turn melds going there again too many memories.

cocker5

How many dogs have you actually had OP?

Its just seems a little strange ......the dogs that were shot.... the german pointer... the german shepard etc... you've had so many dogs and they have all gone away in one way or another and not from old age etc

honestly I would volunteer or something I know you love dogs but you dont seem to have a good track record (Im sorry if this sounds harsh I dont mean to be).

With regard to your last dog, I believe the incident which lead to his death could have possibly been avoided if you have of taken proper action when you looked for advice months ago regarding the dogs behaviour and your son tormenting the dog etc.... so please dont get another dog until you look at what went wrong with the last one.

IrishHomer

In 42 years I have seen 7 dogs in my home but not all technically my responsibility some owned by other members of the family.

1st 2 were mine died old age and and from distemper (heartbreaking)

Next one was mine and my mother minded him when I went away to work, he bolted onto road one ay to confront neighbours dog got killed by speeding car cost 2k to pay for car damage.

Next pair of dogs were my partners they got shot by neighbour cause they went onto his land.

Next Labrador died old age that was heartbreaking.

Next came the stray dog that I helped a farmer may have shot him not totally sure he wasn't legally mine but I did feed him and care for him for two months.

And finally the recent German Shepherd that was jealous of family members and twice attacked my son from jealousy. For months I tried to get me son to give the dog some, attention etc and to avoid provoking the dog but mostly my pleas with son were ignored he would just laugh with amusement.

My son was actuall jealous of the dog also he regularly complained I thought more of the dog than of him. Now that the dog is gone I am appreciating my son more.

cocker5

My son was actuall jealous of the dog also he regularly complained I thought more of the dog than of him. Now that the dog is gone I am appreciating my son more.

firstly you should appreciate your son more.... he is your son afterall...

And finally the recent German Shepherd that was jealous of family members and twice attacked my son from jealousy. For months I tried to get me son to give the dog some, attention etc and to avoid provoking the dog but mostly my pleas with son were ignored he would just laugh with amusement.

secondly you should also teach your son some manners on how to treat animals... as the situation may possibly been avoided.. maybe you should take a firmer hand with him... as from your quote he had no respect for the dog (which has now lost his life) and no respect for you.

Im glad your son is ok and didnt deserve to be hurt or attacked by your dog... but due to the behaviour of your son and your inability to control him or your dog, resulted in your son being hurt and your dog losing his life.

Please read your quote again above and it will show you all of the reasons for not getting another dog.

IrishHomer

The word respect was probably the wrong word to use. My son has respect he is just human and he is individual, I can't programme my son to be a total animal lover like me.

cocker5

IrishHomer wrote: »

The word respect was probably the wrong word to use. My son has respect he is just human and he is individual, I can't programme my son to be a total animal lover like me.

Yes he is an individual... and no he doesnt have to love animals, to each their own and all that

BUT he should have respect for you, you being his father, and if you tell him to stop tormenting a dog the he should stop and learn this behaviour is not acceptable and that if you torment a dog long enough it will react (which is what happened in this case and now your dog has suffered because of it and so has your son)

so he should learn and have respect for your wishes, you are his parent and in the mean time learn respect for animals and how to treat them.

He doenst have to love them but respect them and their feelings etc. :cool:

OhLongJohnson

Wow, all this "it wasnt my responsibility" and dropping how much you've spent on the animals directly or indirectly...why?!

Animals in YOUR home are YOUR responsibility, regardless of who "owns" the animal. That goes for dogs, cats, reptiles etc. If an animal isn't being treated right or is behaving incorrectly in YOUR home, it is YOUR responsibility to sort it out. You can't just dump off responsibility on others when it suits when you are meant to be in control of the home you've made for yourself and anything you accept into it, human or animal.

To be honest, this entire thing reads like insecure, improperly trained dogs being kept in a house where kids are taunting them, frightening them and antagonising them regularly and relentlessly and where those responsible for them, including those kids, are not giving them the life, training and leadership that they require to be healthy and happy.

I'll be honest and say I don't think it's appropriate for you to home another dog there. If you truly love dogs, volunteer at a shelter and interact with them there but your household, where they are expected to live, is absolutely inappropriate for a dog.

Although, I fear that any advice you're given here will just be ignored, as your last one before the attack of your child was, and you'll soon be reporting of another dog entrusted to your care disappearing, dying or another incident and how much you spent on it.

cocker5

OhLongJohnson wrote: »

Wow, all this "it wasnt my responsibility" and dropping how much you've spent on the animals directly or indirectly...why?!

Animals in YOUR home are YOUR responsibility, regardless of who "owns" the animal. That goes for dogs, cats, reptiles etc. If an animal isn't being treated right or is behaving incorrectly in YOUR home, it is YOUR responsibility to sort it out. You can't just dump off responsibility on others when it suits when you are meant to be in control of the home you've made for yourself and anything you accept into it, human or animal.

To be honest, this entire thing reads like insecure, improperly trained dogs being kept in a house where kids are taunting them, frightening them and antagonising them regularly and relentlessly and where those responsible for them, including those kids, are not giving them the life, training and leadership that they require to be healthy and happy.

I'll be honest and say I don't think it's appropriate for you to home another dog there. If you truly love dogs, volunteer at a shelter and interact with them there but your household, where they are expected to live, is absolutely inappropriate for a dog.

Although, I fear that any advice your given here will just be ignored, as your last one before the attack of your child was, and you'll soon be reporting of another dog entrusted to your care disappearing, dying or another incident and how much you spent on it.

couldnt have said it any better

tipseymcT

I think some of the replies are a bit harsh on the op, I think he has been very unfortunate with dogs but not irresponsible.
You will know yourself when the time is right to get another dog,just give yourself time to get over the loss of your german shepherd.
About 16 years ago our two terriers were stolen,we were all very upset by it.It was 5 months before we could face into getting another dog.

OhLongJohnson

Sometimes you have to be "cruel" to be kind. The poster in question has had 7 dogs under his care only 3 of which died of old age. The sheer amount of "mystery" surrounding the disappearance or deaths or the other 4 in itself is alarming, let alone the number of animals it had happened to in itself.

Not everyone is suitable to owning a dog and to be honest, it appears that in this case there is an entire house full of people not suited to dog ownership.

The same poster recently posted about the dog needing a dominating alpha male leader highlighting an absolutely huge fundamental error in itself. It is throwing a poor, confused and frightened dog or pup, as they will be when being rehomed, in with one person who wants to dominate or alpha roll dogs and kids who want to taunt, antagonise or disrespect them, what do you expect to happen? An insecure wreck of a dog that then has to handle things actively trying to piss it off.

That is absolutely not fair on any animal.

You're essentially sentencing some poor dog to a life of fear and torment, all so someone can greedily satisfy their "love" for animals.

This is all without breaching the subject of the posters perception in their own child's eyes, someone who they believed loved the dog more than themselves and whose dog has now attacked them violently, leaving permanent physical and metal scars, and the effect bringing a dog into a house where it's very clear only one person wants it would have.

star-pants

Guys if we could please stop speculation on previous dogs in the OP's life. Yes it's partially relevant but it's completely unfair to make assumptions or interrogate the OP.
No need to reply to this post, thank you.

Mo60

OP I have been watching this thread and to say I am puzzled is an understatement.

At the moment I have 5 dogs and previously have had 6 dogs that all lived to enjoy old age. To lose one dog at a young age is unfortunate but to lose the amount you have, by whichever means, does not make a good owner.

Some people should not own dogs - full stop.

**Vai**

If I was you OP, after all your bad luck, I'd be getting a robot dog for the time being.

No one on here knows what happened exactly with your GSD but obviously something went wrong for your son to be attacked like that. You need to know what that was and how to fix it before even thinking about another dog.

ISDW

I'm sorry, I have kept my fingers off the keys, but can't anymore.

If you loved that dog as much as your flowery sentiment on here purports, then you wouldn't have had a vet come and collect it and have it killed, frightened and alone. You would have taken the dog to the vet and been with it while it died. Wow, how upsetting for you to walk somewhere that you exercised the dog. Poor dog, doesn't seem to matter to you how upsetting it was for him to go off with a stranger and be killed. You ignored excellent advice, and are now blaming your son for his actions, which led to the attack. Do you ever take any responsiblity for anything you do?

Mods, red, yellow card, whatever, this has been infuriating me since he first posted about the dog attacking his son and I just can't take anymore of his nonsense about how much he loves animals.

iguana

I'm sorry OP, I don't like to kick someone when they are down and anyone would be down after the week you have just had but you are coming across as frightfully immature. The way you talk about love is like a child. Love isn't just about good feelings, at times all love is about responsibility, perseverance and hard, hard work. That goes for both your love of dogs and your love of your sons.

When you first started having problems with the dog and your sons, you needed to take control of the situation. Not in some half-cocked dominate the dog type of way but in a real way that wouldn't have been easy and would have taken perseverance and hard work but would also most likely have prevented last weeks events. And you needed to take that control not only of your dog's behaviour but of your sons' behaviour too. They were tormenting the animal for fun and you allowed it to continue. What sort of love is that? It was confusing and upsetting for the dog and was dangerous for all three of them. How could you have let that continue for months and shrug off the responsibility for it? Real love would have meant nipping that in the bud and making sure the dog was secure in his surroundings not periodically tormented.

And if your son was saying you loved the dog more than him, that was because he felt that way due to how you acted. Why did it take your son being attacked and the dog having to die to make you appreciate your son more? Your son should always have known he was your priority and not left to torment the dog out of jealousy and for attention.

I love my dogs, they are my boys and the only way my love for them will ever change is if it grows. But they aren't in competition with my baby and if I ever find that either my dogs or the kid starts to feel as if they are, I know that will be my fault for how I conduct myself around them. If it happens I will take responsibility for correcting that feeling no matter how much a pain in the ass that might be to me at the time and I will do that because I love them all so much and that's what love means.

You should not be contemplating getting a dog any time soon. Right now you should be focussing on your sons and your partner. And when those relationships are in a better place, then think about volunteering with a dog shelter and learning about proper dog ownership. And lastly, if/when the time comes for you to get another dog you need to have a long think about the breed. I don't think shepherd dogs suit you and your family. You seem too flattered by the 'one man and his dog' type relationship that often springs up between herding dogs and one of the humans in the family. You need a dog who's innate temperament is more laid back and more easily suited to belonging to the whole family. Also look at lower energy breeds that won't take up as much of your time for walks and exercise, so you can spend more time with your sons. A dog that your sons can manage to control is also preferable, so that they can start to take some responsibility for dog walks if they develop more of interest in the dog which is possible if it's the family dog as opposed to just yours.

IrishHomer

Thanks for the advice wow I thought I was always a good dog owner every dog I had got a brilliant life full of attention from me. Lots of walks, attention 24/7 etc. Never realised there was so many upper class perfect dog people out there I never see them where I live.

Just to be clear once again the three previous dogs that died premature were not my dogs they were my new partners kids at the time we met. And also some smartarse stated I got the vet to collect my dog! Not true not sure why you thought that was the case, baffled.

Magenta

IrishHomer wrote: »

Thanks for the advice wow I thought I was always a good dog owner every dog I had got a brilliant life full of attention from me. Lots of walks, attention 24/7 etc. Never realised there was so many upper class perfect dog people out there I never see them where I live.

See, again being childish. You've gotten buckets of good advice and you're effectively sticking your fingers in your ears and singing LA LA LA.

IrishHomer wrote:

And also some smartarse stated I got the vet to collect my dog! Not true not sure why you thought that was the case, baffled.

I think this is where the confusion comes from.

IrishHomer wrote:

I am located in Offaly. The vet is booked to take him away in one hour not sure how I will cope this dog is my shadow he is besotted with me and me of him

Although you later posted that you left the dog behind you in the surgery so not sure what exactly happened.

ShaShaBear

Having a dog is not just about love and affection OP, there needs to be responsibility, firmness and education of manners - exactly like with a child. If you dont discipline them, things can go wrong and it seems the problem from your other posts is you display love and affection for your family and dog, but not responsibility, firmness or any sort of discipline.

You should have NEVER let your son provoke the dog, he should have been disciplined. And you should NEVER have let the dog exert any threatening behaviour over your son, he should have been disciplined.

You took the dog to the vet, I remember. But you still abandoned him in the end.