What's the worst lie you ever told?

lazygal

I spun a few yarns when I was a nipper. One of the biggest whoppers was that I had a serious illness. One of the teachers in school got wind of my illness and decided to have a non uniform day for a charity connected to that illness to show support for me. Still ashamed of this to this day! But no one died and a charity got money so not all bad.

Gordon

I told the world I didn't exist.

Vicar in a tutu

That I wasnt aiming that stone at my friend when I was 7.. I so was:mad:

shuridunno

On my wedding day I said I Do, I meant I don't, now I'm stuck with him.

AnonoBoy

Used to have a horse in the early 80's.

One night I came home from the pub, a bit locked and starving. Now I was living out in the wilds of Kildare at the time so I couldn't exactly pop down the chipper for a burger.

I tried to resist temptation but eventually the hunger got the better of me, I went out to the stables and that night I had horse burgers.

Of course I needed the insurance money so I told the Gardai that the IRA kidnapped him. I'm pretty sure I got away with it.

Steven81

Your arse doesnt look big

puzzle factory

my friend and i liked the same girl, so i told him the last fella she was with, she held him down and made him pull her tampon out with his teeth, worked a treat, he completely lost interest in her. ive heard it back from numerous people since so not all good i guess.

Degag

"That was amazing for me too..."

akura

At work they think I have a Child. It's amazing for getting the days off that I want.:D

My name is URL

I blamed the absence of my homework in 1st year one day on the death of an elderly relative. Though at the end of class I 'fessed up.. couldn't take the guilt.

admiralofthefleet

my swimmers dont swim

1ZRed

My name is URL wrote: »

I blamed the absence of my homework in 1st year one day on the death of an elderly relative. Though at the end of class I 'fessed up.. couldn't take the guilt.

Weak willed!
The amount of dead/sick relatives I've racked up over the years... I was verging on becoming an orphan!

Ah the good old days of school:D

hondasam

lazygal wrote: »

I spun a few yarns when I was a nipper. One of the biggest whoppers was that I had a serious illness. One of the teachers in school got wind of my illness and decided to have a non uniform day for a charity connected to that illness to show support for me. Still ashamed of this to this day! But no one died and a charity got money so not all bad.

Did you tell the truth in the end?

shuridunno

On a more serious note,

I lied to my father in law on a continual basis when he was sick, as his family and doctors advised against him knowing the truth about his diagnosis.

I was his carer, so took him everywhere and to any appointments.


He was diagnosed with cancer last march 2011 and left us in July '11, none the wiser.

Worse lies I've ever told in those months.....''you'll be grand'', said them right up to the day he died.

Two guys in a bar decide to see who could tell the biggest lie.

First guy says "I swam up the Niagara falls"

Without missing a beat the second guy says......"I saw you "

Archeron

As a kid on a bus to skerries, I filled the brim of the man in fronts hat with popcorn. He sneezed before I got off and popcorn went everywhere. I said I was sorry, but I wasnt cause it was a really stupid hat.

smash

I had to go to confession in school and had zero interest, so I told the priest that I tried to drown my cousin but he survived and was left brain dead and I told everyone that he slipped but I couldn't save him on time. The poor git didn't know what to say to me.

maddragon

Don't worry love. I've had the snip.

AnonoBoy

shuridunno wrote: »

On a more serious note,

I lied to my father in law on a continual basis when he was sick, as his family and doctors advised against him knowing the truth about his diagnosis.

I was his carer, so took him everywhere and to any appointments.


He was diagnosed with cancer last march 2011 and left us in July '11, none the wiser.

Worse lies I've ever told in those months.....''you'll be grand'', said them right up to the day he died.

Surely the man was given the dignity of being allowed say goodbye to his family at the end?

shuridunno

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Surely the man was given the dignity of being allowed say goodbye to his family at the end?

Yeah of course, what would make you think otherwise. All his family were there.

He died peacefully with all of us around him. There were reasons he couldn't be told. But I don't need to get into that here. He knew he was terminal, but had no real grasp of what it meant. Come to think of it, neither did we, denial is a great thing in times like that.

hondasam

shuridunno wrote: »

On a more serious note,

I lied to my father in law on a continual basis when he was sick, as his family and doctors advised against him knowing the truth about his diagnosis.

I was his carer, so took him everywhere and to any appointments.


He was diagnosed with cancer last march 2011 and left us in July '11, none the wiser.

Worse lies I've ever told in those months.....''you'll be grand'', said them right up to the day he died.

I dunno what I would do in this situation, I would hate to lie but I would also hate to have to tell someone they are dying.
I also think everyone has the right to know but I understand why it's better not to know sometimes.
I hope I'm never in this situation.

ilovesleep

I suppose everybody has lied at some stage and little white lies would be ok. It's only when lies are used to deceive someone it becomes immorral and dangerous. Like for example a partner going out to cheat on his/her other half and keeping it up. Or two people dating and one leading the other up a path with a future in it when in fact all he/she wants is sex, and then legging it at the first sign of some sort of a commitment.

Lies are god damn hurtful and leads to a form of paranoia. You're told something but due to the others actions or lack of them and general behaviour, your head is telling you something different and nothing makes sense.

Vicar in a tutu

My name is URL wrote: »

I blamed the absence of my homework in 1st year one day on the death of an elderly relative. Though at the end of class I 'fessed up.. couldn't take the guilt.

I've done this! and also used to pretend I was late for class as I was helping an old lady home with her shopping:)

I think my teachers just nodded and smiled and thought to themselves '' She's very simple''

AnonoBoy

shuridunno wrote: »

Yeah of course, what would make you think otherwise.

This bit made me think he was never told he was dying.

Worse lies I've ever told in those months.....''you'll be grand'', said them right up to the day he died.

shuridunno wrote: »

There were reasons he couldn't be told

I can't think of a reason on the day he was going to die that he wouldn't be told. What's the worst that could happen at that stage?

shuridunno

AnonoBoy wrote: »

This bit made me think he was never told he was dying.





I can't think of a reason on the day he was going to die that he wouldn't be told. What's the worst that could happen at that stage?

Ah jeez, can we just leave it at that, I told a lie of..'you'll be grand' to a man who did not have all his mental faculties, approved by his family and medical team.

He saw all his family, right up till the day he died. I'd have to write way too long a post to explain it all, and also don't want to hijack this thread.

Make a thread on the moral dilemma of such a situation if you will, I was just doing a post in reply to the OP.

Can we just leave it at that, sorry I said anything, I feel sick now, forgot I was in AH for a minute.

Regards.

Can you get back to the funny one liner answers now.

cartell_best

shuridunno wrote: »

On a more serious note,

I lied to my father in law on a continual basis when he was sick, as his family and doctors advised against him knowing the truth about his diagnosis.

I was his carer, so took him everywhere and to any appointments.


He was diagnosed with cancer last march 2011 and left us in July '11, none the wiser.

Worse lies I've ever told in those months.....''you'll be grand'', said them right up to the day he died.

You allowed that gentleman to pass away, with him knowing that with you as his carer and so close to him, more or less told him that everything would be all right. You were right, he is grand. He doesn't feel pain any more and I commend you!

AnonoBoy

shuridunno wrote: »

Can we just leave it at that, sorry I said anything, I feel sick now, forgot I was in AH for a minute.

Can you get back to the funny one liner answers now.

Jaysus - you'd be jumping down my throat if I'd made a crack about it, which I clearly didn't. I was merely asking the question. All you had to say in your first post was that he did not have his mental faculties and that would have explained it.

You can't bitch and moan about people asking you about something which would have been terrible to do if the man was compos mentis if you didn't tell us that he wasn't.

merengueca

shuridunno wrote: »

Yeah of course, what would make you think otherwise. All his family were there.

He died peacefully with all of us around him. There were reasons he couldn't be told. But I don't need to get into that here. He knew he was terminal, but had no real grasp of what it meant. Come to think of it, neither did we, denial is a great thing in times like that.

Without knowing all the facts I think the clear thing is that you did what was best in the individual circumstance you were in for a person you clearly cared for.
Normal rules are suspended in a time like that and people/families can only do what works in their circumstance. I don't think it is fair that peple are alluding to the fact Shuridunno witheld the information... maybe they did, but we dont know all the facts as to why that could have been right for them.

(Sorry for going off topic)

shuridunno

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Jaysus - you'd be jumping down my throat if I'd made a crack about it. I was merely asking the question. All you had to say in your first post was that he did not have his mental faculties and that would have explained it.

You can't bitch and moan about people asking you about something which would have been terrible to do if the man was compos mentis.

Apologies, I didn't word it very well. I guess i'm touchier than I thought about it:o

clarbar

back in the day , me and my friend decided to cheat in the pre-junior cert tests o we both got those invisable ink pens and re-wrote the sceal in irish for our test , thought we had gotten away with it few days later we are both called up infront of the class asking if we had anything to say about our sceal's ,so my friend cunning bastard said she learned it off by heart I got caught , how I got caught was everyone elses paper in the test was white, you know the one given out with the exam mine was bright fu*king yellow!! I denyed it to the ground I cheated while my classmates laughed . the teacher has hated me since I left

I was supposed to play a match with a load of mates, but i wasn't arsed!
They were ****e anyway, so i told them me granny died.:o

Jester252

The dog ate my homework

Cork boy 55

I claimed to invent the question mark

super_furry

I love you too.

Immaculate Pasta

I count 11 relatives who have supposedly died explaining my absence from missing lessons/school/tutorials over the course of my academic career :cool:

Father Damo

I lied to Frostie and told him I didnt want any stupid bleedin tea.

fakearms123

This is a very interesting thread

Boombastic

Father Damo wrote: »

I lied to Frostie and told him I didnt want any stupid bleedin tea.

And you were smoking and blamed Dougal:mad:

Father Damo

Boombastic wrote: »

And you were smoking and blamed Dougal:mad:

Never mind smoking crack with him :pac:

blackwhite

"Drink this, it's supposed to be fizzing"