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Wednesday Funnies

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  • 20-06-2012 11:45am
    #1
    MonkieSocks
    Registered Users Posts: 8,300 ✭✭✭


    Went to the doctors today and said to him, “do you treat alcoholics?"

    He said, “of course we do."

    I said, “great, get your coat on I’m fookin skint!"

    ____________________________________

    Apparently, even though sperm is proven to be good for the complexion,

    According to my wife it still doesn't give me the right to shout "OLAY" as I come all over her face.
    ____________________________________


    A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said,' If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess.' He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

    The frog spoke up again and said,' If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero' The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

    The frog spoke up again and said,' If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week.' The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

    The frog then cried out,' If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want.' Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

    Finally, the frog asked,' What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?'

    The man said,' Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool.'

    =(:-) Me? I know who I am. I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude (-:)=



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