Personal Experiences with Stuttering

Faux

Hello everyone!

Firstly, I'll start off by saying I'm thrilled to find that there's a dedicated forum for stuttering/stammering! I've been browsing boards.ie for a while now - always out of boredom - and haven't found a reason to make an account of my own until now. Do forgive me if a thread like this already exists, but I did have a little look and couldn't find one on the first few pages.

So, how do you stutter? What triggers it? Have you found your own ways to get around the stutter or the word-block? I would be very interested to hear your stories, tips and stutter triumphs!

To start things off I'll share a little about myself and my own experience of having a stutter.

I think my stuttering started when I was about 12, I don't remember it affecting me at all before that. Perhaps it was there and I never noticed it or cared, but I specifically remember having problems reading the word 'the' aloud. This, of course, is slightly problematic when you're 12 and every other word in your English book is 'the', lol. I'd have some trouble getting the word out, and my mouth would be 'in position' to say the word until I eventually spat it out. I don't recall having many problems with it again until I was about 16 or 17, at which point it started to bother and depress me. It has been a constant thing since then, and while I don't totally blame it for any of my social shortcomings, I think it's a big contributor.

So, I realise now that word-blocking is without a doubt my biggest problem. I can feel when the block will come so I frantically look for another word to bypass it and get over it, which doesn't always work. People often think I'm deep in thought or have little to say when I'm trying to get the word out or search for another. In this respect it definitely doesn't make free-flowing conversation easy at all. It makes it difficult to join in on group conversations, and it throws my comedic timing out the window, as by the time I can finally get the bloody word out the moment has passed and my great comeback is irrelevant. I find that there's so much I'd like to say, but at times I simply can't. It feels like I physically can't.

Like most things, when I dwell on my stutter or over-think it it's 10 times worse, but when I forget about it or don't give it much thought it's not as bad at all. I don't stutter when I talk to myself, nor do I word-block (don't worry I don't talk to myself that much) and I certainly don't stutter in my thoughts.

I know this forum isn't as fast-paced as others, but if you have a story or some tips to share, please do post. It's always nice to know that we're not in this alone and many others have faced the same problems we do and have even gotten over them.

Thanks

jigital

You write really nice. Hope you'll write more.

Faux

jigital wrote: »

You write really nice. Hope you'll write more.

Thanks Jig! Very nice of you. If only I could speak half decently too. :rolleyes:

lying eyes

i stammered my way through school and my adult life not all the time but if i got nervouse or answering the phone or had to say my name publicly certain words or situations made it worse anyway a cousin died recently and i was asked to do a reading at the funeral im proud to say i did a fantastic job.i have two daughters who i read too every night this has been great training for me without my knowledge a bit like the karete kid waxing the cars

steamengine

Faux - Word blocking can be overcome. Practise saying just 'eh' as in ED (name). Then say 'the' and note where your tongue has to be to pronounce 'the'. Now say 'eh' again continuously and move your tongue consciously to that position to make the sound. The same can be repeated for any sound.

Apologies for the brevity, your story is the same as mine and countless other people, and it can be sorted. Instead of rushing to get words out, pause, take your time. When the pressure situations arise make sure you are exhaling before you speak also. Sometimes, it's the initial 'eh' sound that can be the problem. If so be patient, take a deep breadth, slowly exhale, try to say it and wait for the sound to happen.

Faux

Lying Eyes,

Great to hear you did well on the reading! Something like that can do wonders for your speaking confidence. And likewise with reading to your kids at night, every little bit of practise helps. Karate kid watch out. :cool:


Hi Steamengine,

Thanks for the tips. It's definitely easier said than done as I'm sure you'll appreciate if you've had the same problems as I do, but nevertheless I will try what you said. I was thinking of seeing a speech therapist during the summer but I'm not sure what kind of advice they can really offer me at this stage. I stutter/block far less around my parents and good friend so I'm afraid they'll put it down to a speech confidence issue, which I'm quite sure it's not. I know after stuttering/blocking a lot it does knock your confidence, and I know feeling relaxed and not anxiously thinking about blocking will lessen the number of blocks or at least the severity of them.. so I need to have a think about that. Thanks again for the reply.

steamengine

Faux wrote: »

Hi Steamengine,

Thanks for the tips. It's definitely easier said than done as I'm sure you'll appreciate if you've had the same problems as I do, but nevertheless I will try what you said. I was thinking of seeing a speech therapist during the summer but I'm not sure what kind of advice they can really offer me at this stage. I stutter/block far less around my parents and good friend so I'm afraid they'll put it down to a speech confidence issue, which I'm quite sure it's not. I know after stuttering/blocking a lot it does knock your confidence, and I know feeling relaxed and not anxiously thinking about blocking will lessen the number of blocks or at least the severity of them.. so I need to have a think about that. Thanks again for the reply.

Yes, it does take effort and I did have the same problems as you. Your original post is my story too, by and large. I found unblocking was the key to reverse the process. I still have the tendency to stammer on certain words, but I can swiftly unblock, so in effect the stammer is gone.

I had a problem the other day with 'bat'. I found though the reason it wasn't happening was my mouth was 'stuck' open. The lips have to shut for the 'b' sound, so while saying 'eh' I popped them shut, and this way the 'b' sound has to happen.

To look at this another way, I also converted 'bat' to two syllables - 'ebb' 'at' - pushing the troublesome 'b' to the end of the first syllable. The listener will hear it as 'eh' 'bat'.

Try this for yourself just as an exercise. Drone the 'eh' sound and pop your lips -open - shut - open - shut.

If you have difficulty with vowel sounds, just be patient and wait for the sound to happen rather than force the sound out. Take a deep breath and slowly exhale via the mouth, as you wait for the vocal chords to start sounding.

I agree it does knock your confidence ok., but acknowledging you need to do something about it is an important first step. If you feel a speech therapist can help, go for it. Relaxation and keeping your mind otherwise occupied is important too as you say. Good luck and feel free at anytime to ask more specific questions if you wish.

sallywin

Another tip is, if you can, do some humming/singing in the run-up to what you want to say, be it an interview, speech, or just one question. It relaxes the offending reflexes.

s08t

Thanks steamengine for the tips. May come in very useful to me as all I get is blocks.
As a 28 yr old female, I have a stammer. I dont know much girls with a stammer and the very few I do know dont want to talk about it just sweep it under the carpet instead. Its improving. I find when I am tired and (cranky) its worse than when im positive and happy. I try not let it hold me back or bother me. Sometimes I find myself pushing out the words too much until I cant make no sound. So taking my time helps for me.

Well done with the reading Lying Eyes. That was a great and positive thing to do.

steamengine

s08t wrote: »

Thanks steamengine for the tips. May come in very useful to me as all I get is blocks.
As a 28 yr old female, I have a stammer. I dont know much girls with a stammer and the very few I do know dont want to talk about it just sweep it under the carpet instead. Its improving. I find when I am tired and (cranky) its worse than when im positive and happy. I try not let it hold me back or bother me. Sometimes I find myself pushing out the words too much until I cant make no sound. So taking my time helps for me.

Well done with the reading Lying Eyes. That was a great and positive thing to do.

Good to hear it's improving. I found that once I started to make gains in overcoming the blocks, confidence started to return as well. Initially it was a case of taking my worst word and dealing with it like I have described above. One of the first things to be rectified was breathing. In the struggle to force out words, I had often completely exhaled, which of course only made the situation worse. Taking your time is important as you say. A deep breath first and slowly go for the required sound - don't force - wait for things to happen. If it doesn't - no bother - try again, that's how I did it. Incidentally, I was in my mid-thirties as I remember it. I got fed up with having this monkey on my back and just persevered until I got the results I wanted.

As Lying Eyes has mentioned, reading aloud to others, or even alone is a very useful exercise. I must confess to have been lazy regarding this one, however I did practise on my troublesome words that way.

Faux

I've been pretty busy for the last month or so, I'm so sorry for abandoning the thread!

@SteamEngine, the 'eh' trick is definitely a life saver, I use it a lot when a question is sprung on me and it helps me bounce onto my actual answer. Thanks again for the tips, and you're right, sometimes it's best to take a deep breath and try again. Staying on the problem word doesn't seem to help at all, it's best to recompose yourself and start again. <- Easier said than done of course, but something I try to keep in mind now.

@S08t - I didn't mention it in my first post, but I'm a 20 year old female, and I've never met another female with the same problems as myself either. I've come to the conclusion that they're all hiding under rocks or they just don't exist! :P

My stutter can be worse when I'm feeling not so confident or put into an uncomfortable situation with people I don't know or like, so I can definitely relate to what you go through. Great to hear that it's improving though!

Karen23

I'm a 34 and obviously female (username) , and I've stammered all my life. My mam's sister and my dad's brother stammer but my dad's brother has Down Syndrome and I think that s part of the reason why he stammers.

Well done lying eyes , you should be very proud of yourself. It reminded me of a funny story when my aunt was asked to do a reading at a funeral and she said no I couldnt , sure I cant even talk and for a joke I said ah go on , sure if you get stuck I'll help you and she said would you stop , by the time me and you were finished he'd be buried and all.

We dont mind laughing at ourselves but I get so down sometimes and just hate having a stammer and often wonder why me. I've often woke in the morning and thought ok new day , I wont be a stammerer today. If only it were that easy :rolleyes:

whiskeyman

Ive a very similar experience as yourself Faux.
The word blocking I experienced got to a level where I'd avoid social situations like answering a phone (where I had to say my name), ordering food, introducing myself and others. I would often get v depressed over it.
However, over the past couple of years I've tried to just face it and do as many things that I'd usually put off. I've gained in confidence and I believe it's really improving.
I still have it, but it's nowhere as bad as my lowest point.
I've accepted it a lot more and it definitely doesn't play on my mind as much. Looking back, it's scary the impact it had on my life when it was bad.

s08t

FAUX: I was thinking of seeing a speech therapist during the summer but I'm not sure what kind of advice they can really offer me at this stage. I stutter/block far less around my parents and good friend so I'm afraid they'll put it down to a speech confidence issue, which I'm quite sure it's not. I know after stuttering/blocking a lot it does knock your confidence, and I know feeling relaxed and not anxiously thinking about blocking will lessen the number of blocks or at least the severity of them.. so I need to have a think about that. Thanks again for the reply. .

Glad to know ur a female. My experience with speech therapists. I went to a speech therapist last year, at first I wasnt sure whether to go or not but then I thought well what harm will it do. I seen three speech therapists over 6 mnths(reason why three? one had to leave, then the other was transferred somewhere else. I was so surprised as speech therapists, not one had knowledge or the experience of working with adult stammerers. They didnt know where to start, it was like I was teaching them more than they thought me. I think looking back now you (the stammerer) are the only person who can help yourself as you know what happens when you communicate in different situations e.g. with friends, family, strangers, shops, phone etc as you are the communicator not them.

I can really see where you are coming from faux. I was reading your reply and thought yep thats me, yep thats exactly the same what happens to me. I can really relate to you. Ye it sure knocks ur confidence and I think in my position when I think too much about the stammer and blocks, my stammer is worse than when I dont think about it. To help with this,(This may seem silly) but what helps me is, I try and think of what I am saying and talking about instead of the stammer and that then enables me to change my thinking off the stammer. This also helps me not to hide my stammer when talking.