Does age really matter ?

ash23

nadey wrote: »

its only if their sexual it is and as long as he treats her right and their happy thats all that matters as i said that the same age my boyfriend met me and we are still together now

If it's not sexual then they are just friends. OP has indicated they are not. Any sexual activity with a minor is illegal. And even if OP is being virtuous and not engaging in any sexual activity at all with this girl, mud sticks.

nadey

the op said he didn't want to discuss the sexual situation but as he said he really likes her and they can wait till she's 17 if things go well for them

i think you are all over reacting its not as if he's 40 going out with a 16year old, 5 years isn't a big deal. sure my dad is 13 years older than my mam. i think most of the ppl commenting are probably jealous of the op cos they more than likely are lonely guys with not much success with the ladies

in most countries the legal age is 16 anyways,i dont know why this country is different

ash23

Well, this is where we live. So that's the law as it stands. Agreeing with it or not, it's still the law.

I can assure you I am not jealous of the OP lol. I am a woman, a mother actually. And I am familiar with a good few 16 year olds. And 21 year olds. And the divide is massive. You can't equate an age gap of 13 years in adults with an age gap which means one is an adult and one is a minor.

KamiKazeKitten

Ophereagain wrote: »

Putting age aside, unfortunately I can't controll my feelings or how I feel about a person, While I know in my head that the age is an issuie , I also really like this girl.
I really don't see the girl as a child, in my eyes - Yes she is young but to me you are no longer a child when you reach your teens.

Look OP, I was 16 not so long ago, and I can tell you when we were 16 we thought we knew it all. Course, I'm 19 now, and still think I know it all. :P

But back then we were worried about what subjects to pick for the Leaving, and getting other peoples IDs for nights out, and mitching off school....it's like a different world, and I'm saying that as someone who only left it a year ago.

She might look all grown up, but I guarantee you she's not. And as for not being a child when you hit your teens - she's in a grey area. It's not like you suddenly wake up one day and BOOM! Insta adult. If I tarted up my little sister, would she be fair game too? Like most young teens she can look a lot older with makeup and all the rest of it on. Painted babies.

Ophereagain wrote: »

I think the whole sex thing is a private matter, I'd rather not share or dicuss that matter, but I'm fully aware that the legal age of consent is 17.

My job is the least of my worries, tbh I really don't see how it is any of their business.

Please think seriously about what you're doing. Please. Because she more than likely won't, not in the way that you would anyway. You say you can't control your feelings but tbh I think you've got a responsibility to.

Your job won't be happy, apart from her being a minor she's a client of theirs, not to mention what her family would do. Are you just planning to have a secret girlfriend then or something?

Honey-ec wrote: »

Eh? I was in 6th year at 16.

And that's nice for you, but most people I know turned 16 in Fourth Year, maybe 5th year at a push if not even earlier, so I'm just going to assume she's probably in around that year. Maybe this girl is in an older year, but either way it's still a dangerous situation for him to be in, legally she's a child!

BunShopVoyeur

Honey-ec wrote: »

dubbbbe wrote: »

she's still at the age where she hasn't even started studying for her leaving cert.

Rocket19 wrote: »

I'm the OP's age, and I think it's totally wrong. If one of my guy mates got with a 16 year old, I'd think he was a complete creep! She's in, what? Transition year?

Eh? I was in 6th year at 16.

AhInFairness wrote: »

And what exactly do you mean by "everything"?


If you're going to give someone advice on this matter Honey-ec, it might help to actually have an idea of the law surrounding the issue..

By "everything" I mean a non-sexual relationship. Is that really such a difficult concept to grasp?

You don't know what you're talking about. Maybe ease up on the advice if your guessing or don't understand the law.

Taltos

BunShopVoyeur - welcome to PI/RI.
Suggest you read the charter again before posting - otherwise posts such as above will earn you mod action.

If you have an issue with a post report it. Opinions are welcome here but you have to argue the post. Dismissing someone else's opinion in such a manner is just not on.
For example from our charter:

Reply to threads in a civil and well phrased manner, remember being a Personal Issues board the contents of some threads may be very close to people's hearts.

Petty differences with other boards members will not be tolerated.

Any advice given should be mature, constructive and non-abusive. Opinions are welcome. Ridicule and nastiness are not.

most of all, if you have nothing relevant to add to the topic, please refrain from posting anything at all.

Motley Crue

Ophereagain wrote: »

I think the whole sex thing is a private matter, I'd rather not share or dicuss that matter, but I'm fully aware that the legal age of consent is 17.

You see you should have kept your mouth shut here, because to me, this indicates that you've already had sex with this girl and you just don't want to admit you've committed a crime on this thread.

I don't know what the hell is wrong with most men in general that they can't just find someone their own age to "play with"

As for your issues OP, I think it's wrong, and I think you should remove yourself from the situation before anything goes further. I think she is too young and I think she needs time to grow up herself. As well as that, your in a position of power, and as many other people have stated here you've indirectly abused your job and asked this girl out - gone out with her twice - and are now considering a further relationship with her.

I went out with a 16 year old girl once, when I was 17. Leave it there, at that age, let the girl mature.

afkasurfjunkie

i remember when i was 16/17 and i saw girls in my year going out with older fellas. i always thought they were so cool. they were the girls who were looked up to because they were mature for their age (physically) and older guys were interested in them.

looking at it from my age now (late 20s) and i can see why these guys my age now go out with younger girls. basically they are the immature ones and women their own age wont even look at them.
they probably never went to college/dont have a great job/steady income and they lap up the attention they get from a younger girlfriend. plus theres less pressure on their side. a teenage girlfriend is usually not looking to save up for a mortgage for a house/marriage/baby. they are happy with going to the cinema/local pub on a saturday night and will put up with it if he decides to go on the lash with the lads instead. and because they look up to the older guy they are more 'likely to oblige' so that he doesnt leave her.

and for every poster here who met their other half and are still together regardless of an age gap, there are plenty more who regret it, or who ended up with a child way earlier than they intended because they got into a serious, physical relationship with an older guy.

StillWaters

nadey wrote: »

i think you are all over reacting its not as if he's 40 going out with a 16year old, 5 years isn't a big deal. sure my dad is 13 years older than my mam. i think most of the ppl commenting are probably jealous of the op cos they more than likely are lonely guys with not much success with the ladies

Im assuming you are very young Nadey, but that is a very irresponsible thing to write. To say that people who speak against illegal 'relationships' with children / young teenagers are jealous is wrong.

I think we are a mixed bunch here on boards, but I'm not a lonely guy, I'm a middle aged mother.

nadey

StillWaters wrote: »

Im assuming you are very young Nadey, but that is a very irresponsible thing to write. To say that people who speak against illegal 'relationships' with children / young teenagers are jealous is wrong.

I think we are a mixed bunch here on boards, but I'm not a lonely guy, I'm a middle aged mother.

I'm 21 and i wonder is she was 17 would it be ok then because it wouldn't be illegal then???

most other countries in the world the age is 16

as i said its not as if he's 40, 5 years no big deal

Taltos

nadey - welcome to PI.
Can I please ask you to review our charter before you post again.
Keep posts on topic to the OP. Off thread discussions are frowned upon and can result in mod action up to and including bans.

Thanks
Taltos

skooterblue2

nadey wrote: »

I'm 21 and i wonder is she was 17 would it be ok then because it wouldn't be illegal then???

most other countries in the world the age is 16

as i said its not as if he's 40, 5 years no big deal

Hi Nadey,
Guy with gf in early 30's. If she was 17 then it would be fine it is about the law of the land. if you blur the lines who is to say what is right and wrong. I believe in Spain it is 14 and it is not legislated for in Romania. Before legislation children were married off to older men. The Law is there to protect minors from these people and lines have to be drawn. Until the law is changed by the government it is as it stands.

Taltos

Closing the thread at this point.

OP - please take note of nearly 5 pages of people giving you the same message.


skooterblue2 - please review our charter before posting to PI/RI again, your last post ignored a mod warning and if it had not prompted me to close this thread I would be issuing you a ban right now.

Taltos