Recent Visitors!

CodyJarrett

How do you good people feel about your recent visitors? Do you welcome their meanderings or are you wondering were they were up to no good. I'm more of the latter camp than the former myself, has to be said. Now while I have only had a small number stop by, it still sparks my curiosity as to what they were up to.

Okay, yes I do have a photo of three naked chicks on my profile (what of it) but how would they know that before visiting the page, eh? You see, up there for thinking, down there for dancing.

So what's with 'em all then?

Had I said something that got their backs up and now they have clicked on my name as they began their search of my posts for contradictory comments that I may well have made on other threads and then link to them, thereby making a damn fool of me?? Or were they in fact a moderator, checking me out, making sure I'm not one of those folks on their 'most wanted' list? (there is extra coke and hookers for mods that can get certain scalps that have eluded them over time).

If I'm honest (and I generally am - apart from that one time in Tesco where I selected Bananas instead of Peaches on the automatic teller) what I am most suspicious about is the visitors that, because they are 'invisible', just raise your number of recent visitors and nothing else, leaving no remaining evidence that they were ever there.

Basically 'licensed stalking' is being partaken of here and I for one want it brought to a swift conclusion. I recently posted in the Rock and Metal forum for example and my visits went up by 9!! Now, taking into account averages, statistical leaning and proximity ratios: there is a good chance that one of that nine was a hot rocker chick, in black scags, wet for me and because she was set to 'invisible' - I can't hunt track her down, manipulate her into thinking I am worthy of accepting me as one of her Boardsie friends (after having thanked all her posts for three weeks of course, I'm no amateur) and so must imagine what that would be like as I fap my self to sleep instead.

So in colclusion, I would like to see a ban on the 'invisibility' mode thing, so people with no lives like me, can take maximum pleasure from the 'recent visitors' feature.

Course, in saying all that - they could just be accidental clicks, in which case: apologies, I have misspoke.

However, whether I have or I haven't -what do you all make of your 'recent visitors' and their hanging about on your profile? What do you think motivates them? Do you think they are just nosing to check out your conversations (assuming you aren't all private and only let your 'friends' see that stuff (damn I hate that!) If it's a member of the opposite sex, do you think they want you, in the biblical way? If it's a mod, do you think they just want you to know you are being watched and so leaving their emboldened name there, will leave you in no doubt of that? Or, if it's one of your adversaries, do you shout at your laptop: "What bro, you want some, yeah - bring it!"

tl;dr

I just seen a woman alone in a pub reading and when I politely asked her about the book, she bit me!

hidinginthebush

I think you're supposed to get a tetanus shot if someone bites you

girl2

You're only using this post as a way of getting people to look at your page!

I was wondering what the hell you were on about there for a minute. Well I won't be fooled

CodyJarrett

girl2 wrote: »

You're only using this post as a way of getting people to look at your page!

I was wondering what the hell you were on about there for a minute. Well I won't be fooled

Ah go on. I'll look at yours if you look at mine.

Mr Benevolent

Recent visitors? Is that a euphemism for your most recent STI? Or maybe a period?

FunkZ

Dear OP,

It's mainly just me pressing F5 on your profile to make you feel popular.

How you doin'?

hairyprincess

whiplashed wrote: »

Basically 'licensed stalking' is being partaken of here and I for one want it brought to a swift conclusion. I recently posted in the Rock and Metal forum for example and my visits went up by 9!! Now, taking into account averages, statistical leaning and proximity ratios: there is a good chance that one of that nine was a hot rocker chick, in black scags, wet for me and because she was set to 'invisible' - I can't hunt track her down, manipulate her into thinking I am worthy of accepting me as one of her Boardsie friends (after having thanked all her posts for three weeks of course, I'm no amateur) and so must imagine what that would be like as I fap my self to sleep instead.

Myself is one word. I have nothing else. I need to lie down now :eek:

eth0

The only recent visitors I get are mods banning me

hondasam

I really enjoyed reading that post OP well done for time and effort. I use invisible mode all the time, do I check out people's pages, no, did I check yours no but I might, you will never know.

flutterflye

I've never wanted to look at someone's profile - don't know why anyone would at all tbh - profile's are kinda boring!
But I've clicked into loads by accident, trying to click the 'Go to first new post' button.
So if it says I've looked at your profile, sorry, but I'm not actually stalking you.

Gummy Panda

Why visit their page when I can visit their home?

3ndahalfof6

yill be grand once ye ate your cornflakes

BorneTobyWilde

When in boards ,,, if i want to open new page i click username to open NEW page,, then click home to get to google home page,
Its not to visit a profile

Mr.Crinklewood

Don't think I have ever read more than one paragraph of a first post in a thread.

CodyJarrett

hairyprincess wrote: »

Myself is one word. I have nothing else. I need to lie down now :eek:

I'm afraid, my Immac deficient princess, that your grammar Nazi skills have been wasted on me it would seem, as self is in fact the name that I have bestowed upon my penis. Many ex-girlfriends gave rise to it with their parting angry comments you see (usually screamed as they slammed my imported Canadian oak hall door). Comments such as: "All you care about is your self!" and so, as my penis is all I care about, self became his moniker. (small S, to capitalise would be preposterous).

Shryke

Three first three lines of the OP bored me so much i'm getting off the internet now. Well done.

hairyprincess

whiplashed wrote: »

I'm afraid, my Immac deficient princess, that your grammar Nazi skills have been wasted on me it would seem, as self is in fact the name that I have bestowed upon my penis. Many ex-girlfriends gave rise to it with their parting angry comments you see (usually screamed as they slammed my imported Canadian oak hall door). Comments such as: "All you care about is your self!" and so, as my penis is all I care about, self became his moniker. (small S, to capitalise would be preposterous).

That's the nicest thing anyone has even said to me *wipes tear*

I hope you and your little self have a gay old time together

hondasam

Shryke wrote: »

Three first three lines of the OP bored me so much i'm getting off the internet now. Well done.

I thought it was a good read, well written and I definitely had to read it all. What did you think was wrong with it?

Cee-Jay-Cee

I fell asleep at paragraph two and slumped forward hitting my head on the edge of the table. I'm now in A&E so thanks for that...Not.

Oranage2

Use my phone a lot so sometimes I accidentally click on somebody's profile. Might also check out somebody if I liked a post of theirs to see what else they write or if somebody thanks an unusual post of mine might check them out too.

I often check out mods too to see who they banned and what type of retort they write, gives me a little kick that.

I usually get mods looking at my profile, I have a sneeky feeling they may make me soon.

Pushtrak

BorneTobyWilde wrote: »

When in boards ,,, if i want to open new page i click username to open NEW page,, then click home to get to google home page,
Its not to visit a profile

CTRL + T.

The King of Moo

I recognise a few of my last ten visitors, and have posted in the same threads as some of them, but I have no idea who the rest are and why they're visiting my profile. They probably go to write abusive visitor messages, then decide I'm not worth the effort. Or, they want to read more of my amazing posts.

TeddyTedson

It's all good.

I do get a little worried though when I see 3 mods have been there. Never a good sign. Luckily that hasn't happened for a while now that I'm a good bear:)

Fizzlesque

I often accidentally click on someone's name - usually when I'm using my iPod and haven't stretched the screen wide enough when wanting to click on a thread or move on a page but it happens on the laptop sometimes too.

I don't even look at my own page usually because there's nothing there - I don't do anything with it - but I did today after reading this thread and discovered there's a synopsis of all your threads, posts and thanks.

I learn a little more every day.

up for anything

whiplashed wrote: »

Many ex-girlfriends gave rise to it with their parting angry comments

I should think that their parting angry comments would render your self flaccid rather than giving rise to it.

Lollers

Fizzlesque wrote: »

I don't even look at my own page usually because there's nothing there - I don't do anything with it - but I did today after reading this thread and discovered there's a synopsis of all your threads, posts and thanks.

I learn a little more every day.

I actually clicked your profile after that great piece you wrote about tea in the morning sunshine. I wanted to see if you were a writer of some kind. Alas, my snooping proved futile.

mattjack

Wasn't there a famous whore a few years ago called Madam Whiplash ?

Fizzlesque

Lollers wrote: »

I actually clicked your profile after that great piece you wrote about tea in the morning sunshine. I wanted to see if you were a writer of some kind. Alas, my snooping proved futile.

Ah, Lollers...how wonderful to know my tea in the morning sunshine piece inspired you to find out if I was a writer of some kind. I am a writer of some kind --- unfortunately it's the highly undisciplined kind

You may not know it, but the encouragement I get from posts such as yours above, and a few others who have said similar, and a PM here and there, mean a lot to me. I've recently done a bit of an internet search for a writer's group and one in particular has caught my eye, so I'm working on getting my act together to go along one evening to see if it helps me get some much needed structure and discipline (and, hopefully, a few topic ideas) to schoosh me further along my journey from internet waffle merchant to substantial and hard-working wordsmith

Lollers

Fizzlesque wrote: »

You may not know it, but the encouragement I get from posts such as yours above, and a few others who have said similar, and a PM here and there, mean a lot to me. I've recently done a bit of an internet search for a writer's group and one in particular has caught my eye, so I'm working on getting my act together to go along one evening to see if it helps me get some much needed structure and discipline (and, hopefully, a few topic ideas) to schoosh me further along my journey from internet waffle merchant to substantial and hard-working wordsmith

Fantastic! Best of luck, not that you'll need it

I only just checked my recent visitors there, just out of curiousity. Interesting.

Ficheall

Deleted User wrote: »

I only just checked my recent visitors there, just out of curiousity. Interesting.

IT'S A TRAP!

Archeron

Thread needs more corn circles.