On the Dole-A Deal Breaker

A_Sober_Paddy

Hey all,

Just looking for a women's perspective on this. If you met a man on a night out and ye got on well and had a great night together, exchange numbers, go back to his or whatever...

So you've decided that you like this man and you'd really like to met him again, so ye arrange to meet up and have a date, over the course of this date it comes to light that his unemployed and on the dole.

The minute you hear his on the dole/not working...Are you not interested in him any more? Is it unattractive to you that his not working?

I'm just very curious to see what ye think?

Ickle Magoo

Re-opened and moved to AH @ OP's request

Fluorescence

No, loads of people are in this position right now. If he was on the dole with no intention of finding work then yes, it'd be a turn-off. If he's been laid off and is doing everything in his power to find a job then what business of it is mine?

PizzamanIRL

Shouldn't judge until you find out why/how long they're on the dole. Did they just get cut from work or are they just lazy on the dole the last 3 years?

Duggy747

I wouldn't get with a girl if she had an opinion looking down on those on the dole.

Would be different if the person was a career-doler and hadn't looked for work in over 3,000 years.

FatherLen

yeah because AH needs more dole threads.

chin_grin

"Gotta have a j.o.b, if you wanna be with me...."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XecTPWJu0wk

westendgirlie

At this present moment in time, a single woman would be narrowing her choices greatly if she only wanted a fella that was working.

A d1ck is a d1ck in my opinion. Having a job won't change that.

Hardonraging

westendgirlie wrote: »

At this present moment in time, a single woman would be narrowing her choices greatly if she only wanted a fella that was working.

A d1ck is a d1ck in my opinion. Having a job won't change that.

Flash the cash... guaranteed a ride out of it, them dole chick's love it when you make it rain !!

shopaholic01

You would have to be very shallow to think like that, unless as other poster have said he views being on the dole as a career.


So many people are unemployed now, it must be demoralising enough without having girls knock you back over it.

Meauldsegosha

I know some people will think I'm very shallow but someone who is long termed unemployed and is not actively seeking employment or retraining would be a turn off for me.

Dravokivich

I'm just gonna say yes, because this thread has come up a lot lately.

Hopefully that'll make it go away.

shopaholic01

Hardonraging wrote: »

Flash the cash... guaranteed a ride out of it, them dole chick's love it when you make it rain !!

Every cloud eh?

Hardonraging

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Every cloud eh?

Gotta be on the ball(s)

But seriously, no if i met and a girl and she was on the dole i'd not pass any remarks, in fact now that i think about it, i have date's a woman who was on and off the dole .. still is, but she's out there, working a bit when she can get jobs..

Merkin

Of course it wouldn't be a deal breaker. I would want to know WHY he was on the dole though. There's a big difference between someone who is out of work because they simply have been unlucky in finding a job and someone who spends the day scratching their arse, knocking back the Dutch Gold inanyways and watching Jeremy Kyle for kicks.

4zn76tysfajdxp

Merkin wrote: »

someone who spends the day scratching their arse, knocking back the Dutch Gold inanyways and watching Jeremy Kyle for kicks.

Livin' the dream...

*sighs*

Hardonraging

Merkin wrote: »

Of course it wouldn't be a deal breaker. I would want to know WHY he was on the dole though. There's a big difference between someone who is out of work because they simply have been unlucky in finding a job and someone who spends the day scratching their arse, knocking back the Dutch Gold inanyways and watching Jeremy Kyle for kicks.

In fairness you cant really beat a bit of JK tho ...

Lollipops23

Nope, my OH had to sign on shortly after we got together (in the very early stages of the relationship) and it didn't affect my views of him. Of course, he was avidly looking for a job the whole time, so that probably helped my perception of him. He's much more career-orientated than me too.

Merkin

Hardonraging wrote: »

In fairness you cant really beat a bit of JK tho ...

:eek: It makes me beat my breast, wail and bemoan the demise of civilization as we know it to be fair. I feel safer with Judge Judy.

Shenshen

A_Sober_Paddy wrote: »

Hey all,

Just looking for a women's perspective on this. If you met a man on a night out and ye got on well and had a great night together, exchange numbers, go back to his or whatever...

So you've decided that you like this man and you'd really like to met him again, so ye arrange to meet up and have a date, over the course of this date it comes to light that his unemployed and on the dole.

The minute you hear his on the dole/not working...Are you not interested in him any more? Is it unattractive to you that his not working?

I'm just very curious to see what ye think?

I would need a bit more information there... if he was on the dole because he recently lost his job and is looking for a new one, I wouldn't have a problem with that at all.

If it transpired that he had been on the dole for 4 years now, and has no plans on going back to work, that would be a deal breaker.

It really bothers me when people look down on me for being on the Dole. Though, having said that, it's a good litmus test; anyone that is quick as to judge someone for something like that really doesn't deserve my time.

LETHAL LADY

But how can he afford a night out if he is on the dole? What did they talk about on the first date? So many questions.

ash23

Like the others, if there is a good reason (redundancy etc) then it wouldn't bother me and I have dated people before who were unemployed.

If they are making a career out of being unemployed or if they live at home with mammy and always have, I would run screaming from the building.

Pedant

Didn't we have a thread very similar to this only one or two weeks ago?

Maybe it's just Déjà vu on my part.

notsobusy

I voted No but it would depend on the circumstances, like if he was genuinely looking for work I wouldn't have a problem but if he wasn't actively looking then yes I would have a problem with continuing a relationship!

westendgirlie

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

But how can he afford a night out if he is on the dole? What did they talk about on the first date? So many questions.

It was all pillow talk m'lady!

shopaholic01

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

But how can he afford a night out if he is on the dole? What did they talk about on the first date? So many questions.

Well maybe you could pay?

As for conversation, if I went on a date and all he spoke about was work I would leave fairly quickly. Work is a means to an end - it's purpose should be to finance your life as opposed to being the purpose of your life.

boomkatalog

The dole in itself is not a turn off, its all about circumstances. If someones goal in life is to drink, live at the back of their mams house and draw the dole forever to pay for cans and weed then yeah, that's a turn off, but that's not everyone on the dole! And while I believe in each to their own, that's not what I'd want in a partner.

Father Damo

Whateva happened to just fallin in love wit a nigga wit a bus pass! :pac:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iiU2omjqg9A

A_Sober_Paddy

Let me introduce to characters:

Character A:
Dole: Yes
Seeking Work: Yes, (but not willing to take a sh!t job, looking for a job that won't be soul destroying)
Spends Spare Time: Exercising, Very occasional drinking.

Character B:
Dole: Yes
Seeking Work: Yes, any job will do.
Spends Spare Time: Rarely Exercises & Drinks at least once a week.

Are both these characters turn off's or just one or the other?

LETHAL LADY

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Well maybe you could pay?

As for conversation, if I went on a date and all he spoke about was work I would leave fairly quickly. Work is a means to an end - it's purpose should be to finance your life as opposed to being the purpose of your life.

Thanks for the advice, I must forget to remember that the next time.;)

westendgirlie

A_Sober_Paddy wrote: »

Let me introduce to characters:

Character A:
Dole: Yes
Seeking Work: Yes, (but not willing to take a sh!t job, looking for a job that won't be soul destroying)
Spends Spare Time: Exercising, Very occasional drinking.

Character B:
Dole: Yes
Seeking Work: Yes, any job will do.
Spends Spare Time: Rarely Exercises & Drinks at least once a week.

Are both these characters turn off's or just one or the other?

Which one's the well endowed one?

A_Sober_Paddy

westendgirlie wrote: »

Which one's the well endowed one?

There both the exact same aside for the listed facts

westendgirlie

I'll take em both then Paddy

Hardonraging

Merkin wrote: »

:eek: It makes me beat my breast, wail and bemoan the demise of civilization as we know it to be fair. I feel safer with Judge Judy.

Both are equally painfull .. some might say they are on during the day to encourage those to get a job :eek:

Nothingbetter2d

Hardonraging wrote: »

Flash the gash for cash... guaranteed a ride out of it, them dole chick's love it when you make it rain !!

fyp buddy

Jaxxy

A_Sober_Paddy wrote: »

Let me introduce to characters:

Character A:
Dole: Yes
Seeking Work: Yes, (but not willing to take a sh!t job, looking for a job that won't be soul destroying)
Spends Spare Time: Exercising, Very occasional drinking.

Character B:
Dole: Yes
Seeking Work: Yes, any job will do.
Spends Spare Time: Rarely Exercises & Drinks at least once a week.

Are both these characters turn off's or just one or the other?

Neither of those characters would turn me off personally. I do believe there are more important things to look for in a prospective partner though.

I Heart Internet

Being on the dole is nothing to be embarrassed about.

Being on the dole and not having a clear plan of action and doing everything in your power to get off the dole is embarrassing.

Once you're trying your best she'd know you're a good egg who just happens to be unemployed right now. If she's a good egg she'll be cool with that.

Novella

It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me unless he was perfectly content to sit around all day doing nothing and had no intention of looking for work. I find lack of ambition and motivation unattractive.

Madam_X

A_Sober_Paddy wrote: »

Let me introduce to characters:

Character A:
Dole: Yes
Seeking Work: Yes, (but not willing to take a sh!t job, looking for a job that won't be soul destroying)
Spends Spare Time: Exercising, Very occasional drinking.

Character B:
Dole: Yes
Seeking Work: Yes, any job will do.
Spends Spare Time: Rarely Exercises & Drinks at least once a week.

Are both these characters turn off's or just one or the other?

Hmmm, why the automatic default to the negative in both questions? Neither would be a turnoff if I liked each individual. But that's just me.

A_Sober_Paddy

Onixx wrote: »

Hmmm, why the automatic default to the negative in both questions? Neither would be a turnoff if I liked each individual. But that's just me.

automatic default to the negative?

cocoshovel

Pfft, women only thinking about money!

old hippy

If you won't entertain the idea of seeing someone because they are unemployed, that's a bit shallow. IMHO.

toexpress

I started this post as a no I wouldn't date someone on the dole and listed out my reasons and justifications until I read it over ... was stupid, so yes I would, there would be one condition. That he is making every effort to get off the dole and support himself, in other words I wouldn't date someone who wanted to be on the dole

christmas2012

a deal breaker for me would be is he an asshole or not?

A_Sober_Paddy

So far it looks like quite a few ladies find unemployed a turn off, shallow shallow shallow ladies

Phill Ewinn

A_Sober_Paddy wrote: »

So far it looks like quite a few ladies find unemployed a turn off, shallow shallow shallow ladies

I could change that. I go deep b*tches.

shopaholic01

A_Sober_Paddy wrote: »

So far it looks like quite a few ladies find unemployed a turn off, shallow shallow shallow ladies

And even more are saying they wouldn't.

A_Sober_Paddy

shopaholic01 wrote: »

And even more are saying they wouldn't.

Poll:
Yes(its a turn off):26
No(its not a turn off):38

The No side is higher I know but thought there'd be a bigger margin of difference

Fizzlesque

A_Sober_Paddy wrote: »

So far it looks like quite a few ladies find unemployed a turn off, shallow shallow shallow ladies

A bit unfair to say 'shallow, shallow, shallow ladies' considering most have said they'd find someone with no interest in ever working a turn off, not being on the dole, per se.

How would you feel about a woman who had no intention of ever working? Would you accuse her of being.....wait now, till I try and remember how the worn out clichés about women only being after a man's money tend to go.

Or would you just admire her free-spirited, don't care about money, nature?

shopaholic01

A_Sober_Paddy wrote: »

Poll:
Yes(its a turn off):26
No(its not a turn off):38

The No side is higher I know but thought there'd be a bigger margin of difference

Given the number of anti social welfare threads I thought the yes side would be significant higher, so it's a refreshing change.