Worst Pickup Line You've ever heard/Way you've been hit on

Jesus Wept

lizt wrote: »

"You've got great child bearing hips!"


Didn't know if I should have been flattered or offended.

It's a compliment of course.
Are you strong on plow??

SusieBlue

Him, sitting next to me in the pub: Feel my jeans..Do they feel nice?

Me: Eh yeah, I suppose so.

Him: That's cause they're boyfriend material

Hardonraging

CTYIgirl wrote: »

Last Thursday, a random girl when I was out: "OH MY GOD YOUR BOOBS ARE AMAZING!" *squeeze* "LOOK HER BOOBS ARE AMAZING!" She must have gotten about ten people to stare at my boobs. I was wearing a high necked dress that didn't show any cleavage, mind!

;)

WhiteRoses wrote: »

Him, sitting next to me in the pub: Feel my jeans..Do they feel nice?

Me: Eh yeah, I suppose so.

Him: That's cause they're boyfriend material

That's a pretty week chat-up line in fairness

GalwayKiefer

A friend of mine was approached in a nightclub and asked "How are ya fixed for a ride?" She brushed off his slurred question/offer so he countered with "Are ya sure?"

Ms.M

"Jayzus, I usually think redheads are absolute MINGERS! But you're a cracker..."
And also, when I was quite keen "you don't really have the redhead look about you. I mean, with your face"

Do NOT slag my ginger brethern.
Bad move, sirs. Baaaaaaaaaad move. :mad:

clappyhappy

This happened about 15 yrs, 3 of us went to hotel for a few drinks. We were standing at the bar and there was a local Macra dance (young farmers). Anyway one farmer fairly drunk kept trying to chat up one of my friends, she repeatedly refused his "charm".after about an hour, and him a lot drunker came back over,band was on a break so place a bit quiter. He said to her "do you ate hay?", three times he repeated as we had no idea what he was saying, getting louder each time, getting lots of looks at this stage. My friend said "no I don't eat hay", he then replied, "well, you're the first f**king cow that I know that doesn't ate hay" then walked away. Speechless but also very funny!! )

Ms.M

"I'm like a rubex cube,
gets harder the more you play with it."

Ok, I've never actually got that one but surely will come in handy for someone.:pac:

smash

I like the Jimmy Carr one "Your dad must be a thief, because you look like a pikey."

W0bble5

I like "How do you like your eggs, scrambled or fertilized?"..... Never actually worked though!

Duggy747

Do you like cheese?

Because I'm an Easi-Single


Had a girl come up to me in a club asking me if I was at a Metallica concert. I was at one a few years before so I was thinking to myself "Shìt, did I do something to her at the concert and she tracked me down!?!".

It was her way of chatting me up, which was nice.....................until I found out she was 16 :eek:

samk1

a friend of mine used this gem before while dancing with a girl,

"you dont swet much for a fat bird" :eek::eek:

smash

samk1 wrote: »

a friend of mine used this gem before while dancing with a girl,

"you dont swet much for a fat bird" :eek::eek:

sure he did, that's an old one.

Google search... About 8,610,000 results

smash

samk1 wrote: »

a friend of mine used this gem before while dancing with a girl,

"you dont swet much for a fat bird" :eek::eek:

sure he did, that's an old one.

Google search... About 8,610,000 results

Snowie

smash wrote: »

I like the Jimmy Carr one "Your dad must be a thief, because you look like a pikey."

To which she returned lob it into me boss?

canonball5

I was away a few years ago and this girl from Blanch came up to me..

Her " you have a beard"
Me "Yep"
Her " I like blokes with beards, it tickles my fanny when they go down on me "
Me " Classy "

Hardonraging

canonball5 wrote: »

I was away a few years ago and this girl from Blanch came up to me..

Her " you have a beard"
Me "Yep"
Her " I like blokes with beards, it tickles my fanny when they go down on me "
Me " Classy "

Straight to the point tbh... cant fault a girl for that ....

blaze1

I've got some great fonts on my pc, they'll help you with your signwriting.

Me to my Mrs when we first met 11 years ago

Snowie

Hardonraging wrote: »

Straight to the point tbh... cant fault a girl for that ....

no you can it means she's a slut :pac:

canonball5

Hardonraging wrote: »

Straight to the point tbh... cant fault a girl for that ....

She was really hot too.. I miss her !

Sided

WhiteRoses wrote: »

Him, sitting next to me in the pub: Feel my jeans..Do they feel nice?

Me: Eh yeah, I suppose so.

Him: That's cause they're boyfriend material

HAHAHAHHAH. Best line I've heard, love it

Duggy747

Me: "Can I smell your fanny?"
Woman: "Wh......what!?! NO!!!"
Me: "Huh................must be your feet so."

shopaholic01

Your legs look great in that dress but they'd look better around my neck.

I didn't bother to find out if he was right.

When in copper face Jacks i find "hey" works really well.

Hardonraging

Snowie wrote: »

no you can it means she's a slut :pac:

Though you'd be chasing that snowie ...

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Your legs look great in that dress but they'd look better around my neck.

I didn't bother to find out if he was right.

Also a little surprised here....

shopaholic01

Deleted User wrote: »

When in copper face Jacks i find "hey" works really well.

In Copper's that's known as trying too hard:pac:

Nothingbetter2d

shopaholic01 wrote: »

In Copper's that's known as trying too hard:pac:

frequent there much?

shopaholic01

Hardonraging wrote: »

Also a little surprised here....

Can't spend all my time with my legs wrapped around someone's neck, you know :pac:.

Nothingbetter2d

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Can't spend all my time with my legs wrapped around someone's neck, you know :pac:.

yeah ya have to let men talk to your boobs once in a while

Hardonraging

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Can't spend all my time with my legs wrapped around someone's neck, you know :pac:.

Lol, a very fair point, although it does conjure a few inventive images in my mind

samk1

smash wrote: »

sure he did, that's an old one.

Google search... About 8,610,000 results

He did,and i doubt he got it from the internet! Same fella said while we were in ayia nappa a few years back having the craic with some Scandinavian birds, one of them said "do u Irish no wat the sun is ?? you havent got much of a tan" my witty friend replies " theres 2 things Irish no about the sun, 1. its up there and 2. Neil Armstrong landed on it ".

Jonah42

Lad: Want to come back to my place for some pizza and sex?
Girl: NO!!!
Lad: What????? You don't like pizza???

hefferboi

If you were a teardrop in my eye, I wouldn't cry for fear of losing you.

blue note

If I had written the alphabet, I'd have put U and I together.

If a girl doesn't go home with you after that she's not worth it.

I'm a virgin.

bellylint

Guy: You look like a bit of a spanner
Girl
Guy: Everytime I see you my nuts tighten

pablohoney87

Had a girl last night at the chilli peppers come up and say
Guess What?
ME: What?
Girl: I've no gag reflex
ME:..............AWESOME!;)

TPD

blue note wrote: »

If I had written the alphabet, I'd have put U and I together.

If a girl doesn't go home with you after that she's not worth it.

I'm a virgin.

And the response..

If I'd designed the keyboard I'd have put U and I further apart.

:P

Caribbean Cat

"Jaysus, you're a fine bit of machinery"
This was after he spent about half an hour looking me up and down in a not so subtle manner. I don't think he knew a lot about biology. Or machines.:D

skyhighflyer

"Hi, what's your name? - don't worry, I'm not hitting on you I'm just planning a **** later on and I like a name to put with the face"

Steven81

Is your father a terrorist?

Cos your a real bombshell!

eternal

Random guy on the street, ' I'd like a nice warm hole to slip into' while grabbing my boob.
Another: ' do you want to dance? No, suppose a blowjob is out of the question so?'.
Then we have ' do you have the time, cos I got the time to shove it up your fanny.'

Seriously think they are the worst so far.

eternal

Another one was a guy telling me he would consider riding me if I lost weight though he wouldn't be long knocking it off me. This is when I was a size eight.

Crooked Jack

I got slapped by a girl once for saying "let me clear you a place to sit" and then wiping my mouth.
On the other hand I stumbled up to an American girl one night and said something along the lines of "****in Hell, how do you get anything done. If i looked like you Id wake up in the morning, angle a mirror at the edge of the bed and spend the whole day masturbating." She laughed her head off and so commenced a five day ****-a-thon. To be fair, she may not have fully understood my accent.

housetypeb

A friend of mine was fond of using this chat up line.
"Do you sleep on your stomach?" He'd say,looking puzzled.
"No"was the usual answer.
"Well, do you mind if I sleep on it then?Seeing as you're not using it." Said with a big smile.

housetypeb

A friend of mine was fond of using this chat up line.
"Do you sleep on your stomach?" He'd say,looking puzzled.
"No"was the usual answer.
"Well, do you mind if I sleep on it then? Seeing as you're not using it" Said with a big smile.

Precious flower

'I want the one in the red.' :pac:

Stiffler2

Sorry, do you have the time ? Because I have the energy....


Also


I will offer you 4 camels...

ruthloss

"well, ya would'nt exactly win any gold medals yourself"!!!

This was said to me at a disco, many moons go.:(

PhlegmyMoses

Lionel Messy wrote: »

"Can i bum you for a smoke?"

I was asked this by a gay lad in work. I'm not sure what I was supposed to be getting out of the deal.

Nothingbetter2d

PhlegmyMoses wrote: »

I was asked this by a gay lad in work. I'm not sure what I was supposed to be getting out of the deal.

if he was a decent gay guy he'd have offered ya a reacharound while he was bumming you for a cigarette

clappyhappy

eternal wrote: »

Another one was a guy telling me he would consider riding me if I lost weight though he wouldn't be long knocking it off me. This is when I was a size eight.

Ouch, what a shower of w**kers you have had the pleasure of meeting. :eek: