101 things Irish mammys and daddys say..

Duck Soup

In our house, we had a variation on the "Do you know who died?" line.

Ma (or Da): Do you know who died?

Me: No, who?

Ma: Niall Butterley.

Me: Sorry Ma, don't remember him.

Ma: You do, you do. [unspoken thought at back of my head: no Ma, I really, really don't...] He was married to a Corbett from Rush - you know the Corbetts? The Grandda Corbett was caught nicking coal just after the war and did six months in the 'Joy. Anyhow, Niall Butterley married Maureen Corbett - she was the second eldest I think - and they had that young wan with the lazy eye and the ginger hair. He used to work in the dairy in Laytown until he got laid off, so Maureen got a job with the hosiery factory which didn't pay well, but she never wanted for nylon surgical supports a day in her life. That Niall Butterley. You do remember him.

Me: [still no idea who Niall Butterley is, but admitting defeat and slowly losing will to live] Yeah ma, I remember him.

Ma: Well he's dead.

Thoie

If the wind changes you'll be stuck like that.

Your hand will stick up in the grave, young lady.

Tell me now, if everyone else went and jumped off the bridge, would you have to go too?

ItAintMeBabe

"Come here and fix that hair/change that jumper/wash your face....YOU'RE LIKE NO ONE'S CHILD!!"

Ilyana

'You can pierce whatever you want, but not when you're under my roof'

KoolKid

My house my rules.
Do as I say not as I do.

Precious flower

'It's a great day for drying'
'Go to blaze's'
'Giving me the scour'
Various conversations of her contemplating whether to put the clothes out on the line.
'If I put the clothes out now it'll surely rain'
'As x used to say'
'Go play in the traffic'
'You've had a tough day have you créatúr?
'What's the bread situation'
'You might do 'x' for me' - nothing to do with might......:pac:
Listening carefully to the death notices on the radio to check if she knows anyone who has died.
There are loads more that I just can't think of at the moment!:pac:

Aenaes

"He can't be dead, I only saw him last week!"

deiseaj

"get away from that thing (computer) it'll make you sick"
"ahhh.... people can't actually catch computer virus's mam"...
"how do you know that???"

"too much of that (computer/beer/mobile phone) will blow your brains"

"its true, I heard it on Billy McCarthy / Joe Duffy"

"its true, I heard it in town....no I don't know who from, it doesn't matter" (random strangers never tell you lies like........)

(after listening to the deaths on the radio) " I suppose I better get up and do a bit since I wasn't on it today"

(sees you doing something she doesn't understand or has no interest in) "sure you're not doing anything there you could do ..... for me"

(looking for a discount on something) "she's just an orphan I found somewhere,and me a poor widow woman"

"I don't know anything about that, there was none of that in our time.. that's a new fangled invention" (covers everything from lesbians to remote controls)

"are you wearing a coat?" (do I look like I'm wearing a... oh Jesus,never mind....."

GAAman

deiseaj wrote: »

(after listening to the deaths on the radio) " I suppose I better get up and do a bit since I wasn't on it today"

Thanked purely for that one

tayto lover

My father used to say "You can't be got into bed at night and can't be got out of it in the mornings".

GAAman

Aenaes wrote: »

"He can't be dead, I only saw him last week!"

Doubly funny when said person has been hit by a car or something (Not that they got hit but the disbelief in their death)

Valentina

If I've to get up to you, you'll be sorry :eek:

The Wooden Spoon

Where did we get you from?

Guess who died.

Turn on/off the Big Light.

Naid23

Valentina wrote: »

If I've to get up to you, you'll be sorry :eek:

The Wooden Spoon

Where did we get you from?

Guess who died.

Turn on/off the Big Light.

the Big Light.. haha my parents still say that.

bazza1

"You are adopted" :eek:

vicwatson

Get off that wall, it'll fall down on top of ya.

Cushie Butterfield

''You have my heart broken''

''You'll drive me to an early grave''

''Get me the wooden spoon''

''If your friend x told you to jump into a fire would you do THAT? Of course you wouldn't. Now get out of my sight''

''You're not too old for a clip around the ear you know''

''When I was your age..''

''What do you mean you have no homework to do, I've a good mind to ring that school myself & find out.''

''Do they teach you nothing at that school?''

''Turn off that telly before the bloody thing explodes.''

''Things are going to change around here, so help me God''

''There's nothing good out after midnight, be home here by half eleven''

''For as long as you live under my roof you'll obey my rules''

davehey79

if i find out your're telling lies it'll be the last one ya ever tell !! sinister to say the least
and quit giving out about the hand me downs you'lll grow into them !

r3nu4l

Said to me and my brother on a daily basis...

So long as you're living under my roof you'll do what I say and there'll be no complaining!

I'll cut the legs from under you!

Don't make me come up those stairs!

If I have to go up to ya...!

Put away your bags, coats, shoes, toys, runners...

I told you what would happen if ye did that didn't I? Ye deserve it, I don't care if you've hurt yourself...<five seconds later>...come here and I'll kiss it better.

mathepac

The Da, RIP - "If you're going drinking with that lad in Cork/Galway/Belfast after the match make sure you come home first! D'ya here me now, I'm warning ya!".

The_Morrigan

One of the best lines I've heard in a long time, came from my Uncle to his pregnant daughter...

"I don't care how long you stay out till young lady, but my grandchild is to be home before midnight"

blatherskite

"You're dead meat"

TheIrishGrover

Do yer own feckin' research fer yer next feckin' book of Oirish Sayings.......... ya little gob****e ya

Celly Smunt

"THAT'S IT! GET INTO BED NOW OR I'M CALLING THE GUARDS"

"THAT'S IT! GET INTO BED NOW OR I'M TELLING YOUR TEACHER IN THE MORNING"

"THAT'S IT! GET INTO BED NOW OR I'M CALLING THE ORPHANAGE"

"THAT'S IT! GET INTO BED NOW OR I'M GIVING THE DOG AWAY"

Ted_YNWA

You were a mistake :eek:

Celly Smunt

Ted_YNWA wrote: »

You were a mistake :eek:

i was a "nice suprise" as my mother would say.

Sir Pompous Righteousness

"Ah leave it out!"

allucinator

Wait til I get you home...

allucinator

God give me patience!
Don't do as I do, do as I say.
Ask your mother/father.

Hurmf

That'll learn ya

Naid23

Come here til i hit ya.;)
Eh no thanks haha