Do you read in the bathroom?

Roadend

Aglomerado wrote: »

I have a copy of Stephen Pile's book of Heroic Failures in the guest jax. Very handy short snippets for reading while pushing brown. Magazine rack in bathroom with the supplements from the Sunday papers. Nothing like Dr Ozzy in the Sunday Times Magazine when crimping off a length.

heh heh heh, piles

Jester252

Sometimes I go to the bathroom to read in peace

desertcircus

The only place I don't read is on my bike. It's not possible to read and cycle the way it is to read and walk.

Setun

hairyprincess wrote: »

Yep I read, and I've often replied to threads while moving my bowels :pac:

It's probably the only occasion that some threads are worth responding to :pac:

Aglomerado

Roadend wrote: »

heh heh heh, piles

Oh yeah! That never registered with me! Hee hee.

(I am not afflicted!)

frag420

It started of with reading the back of shampoo bottles, showergel bottles etc as a kid. Then it was the mothers mags in my early teens so essentialy I learned about sex in the problem pages in the back of my mothers mags when on the crapper. It progressed to mens mags in late teens/early twenties. Mid twenties it was newspapers and now its smartphones.

I cant crap without having something to read much like I cant crap without having piss too.

the groutch

No, but I do "squat & surf"

getz

i call it multi tasking

Irish Guitarist

If I think I'm going to be a long time in there I bring a magazine with me. I have ulcerative colitis which was very bad years ago and meant I had to spent ages in the bathroom with stomach cramps. I was on the toilet so much that if I hadn't brought something to read I would have went mad just staring at the bathroom walls. It's not so bad now so I usually don't read anything.

Carter P Fly

I'm mad posh, I have a dedicated kindle in my throne room. Whispersync is awesome.

Ben D Bus

I'll read on the throne if there's noone to talk to.

nua domhan

tan11ie wrote: »

Is that you Nua?
http://images.inmagine.com/img/Rubberball/rbv007/rbv0070026.jpg

A bit less asian but yeah!

scdublin

I don't understand how someone could have enough time to be reading papers/magazines when on the toilet...if it's taking you that long to go, you might have a bowel problem!

Fentdog84

I tend to daydream when sitting on the throne. Couldnt read when doing the business, just isnt possible its like trying to **** and read the paper at the same time.

mauzo

I never sit on the toilet longer than 20 seconds. Its either coming or its not like!
My dad does be in the toilet for over an hour sometimes, brings in his kindle....
Why not just leave and come back if its taking that long?

Nothingbetter2d

syndeyfife wrote: »

I never sit on the toilet longer than 20 seconds. Its either coming or its not like!
My dad does be in the toilet for over an hour sometimes, brings in his kindle....
Why not just leave and come back if its taking that long?

im a bit like you on that one syndeyfife... i go when its almost turtleheading... drop the load and wipe then flush.

none of this hogging the bathroom for an hour.

ceegee

scdublin wrote: »

I don't understand how someone could have enough time to be reading papers/magazines when on the toilet...if it's taking you that long to go, you might have a bowel problem!

The same could be said for women who spend an hour in the bath, they could be washed in a few minutes. We spend that long in there because its relaxing, not because of any health problems

csi vegas

My OH reads in the bathroom. It sickens me. He doesn't even continue on with the same book - he randomly selects a new read daily, sneaks them off the shelf and past me on his way in, then I discover there's a whole fúcking library in there and the bookshelf is half empty.

All those perfectly good, in top condition reads. Now contaminated with invisible fúcking splatter :mad:

Mr Benevolent

I have 500 books on my smartphone. I read everywhere except while having sex. Hell, I'mm reading 'Kevin Kilroy Was Here' while writing this.

Lawrence1895

Crossword puzzles or Sudoku are great fun, too

Jammy Donut

NOT my story, but thought it might give ye a laugh or 2.....

I confess to feeling selfconscious when last night's
lamb dhansak, chana massala, keema naan and
Cobra is struggling its way out and making a lot of
fuss while it does, especially when the traps to either
side are occupied by chaps who seem to be able to
lay one down with barely a splash, but for true
embarrassment, you need a hotel room on your first
night away with a new cutie.
So lots of charming conversation and civilised
behaviour and attention to personal hygiene and
nipping outside to fart have paid off, and several
months in it's time for a romantic weekend away. The
hotel room is in a dead trendy boutique place, and the
wall between bedroom and bathroom is frosted glass.
All other bathroom walls are tiled for maximum
reverb. The door is also glass, and does not seal in
any way - half-inch gaps all round. So you are
effectively in the same room as the bed, which is
where you leave your amour, curled up and warm
("hurry back", she murmurs) on the morning after a
nice moroccan meal with plenty of chickpeas, spiced
lamb, felafel and so on, plus a couple of bottles of
rough red, and whisky to finish. You pace with
measured tread to the echo chamber, then hunker
down to answer the insistent call from the lower
colon.
To begin with, it sounded like a duck being strangled
half-underwater, then as if thirty clowns wearing
oversize rubber shoes were having a sprinting race
over a massive bowl of jelly, then as I desperately
applied restrictive pressure, it faded into an
anguished squeak like a deflating balloon, then as my
muscle control gave out, a series of small escaping
explosions escalated into a titanic rasp that echoed
for several seconds.
Having done the paperwork, brushed everywhere in
the bowl, including the underside of the seat (how in
the name of gravity could that have happened?),
washed hands, and assumed as nonchalant an
expression as I could muster, I strolled back in to find
her sitting up, covers drawn protectively up under her
chin, eyes like a lemur, asking whether I was ok, and
did I need medical attention?
Kind of killed the mood, rather.

Kintarō Hattori

supernova84 wrote: »

I can't get my head around how a person could read a book or magazine while making a deposit or draining the lizard. Do you read in the bathroom?

All the time. It relaxes me so the experience is as rewarding as possible.

Snowie

I play fruit ninja....

scdublin

ceegee wrote: »

The same could be said for women who spend an hour in the bath, they could be washed in a few minutes. We spend that long in there because its relaxing, not because of any health problems

Hmm...so you're saying that men could be "finished" using the toilet within a few minutes of going into the bathroom, but choose to stay sitting on the toilet to read? I don't think that's as appealing to most people as a bath would be lol. In saying that, I'm not a bath person either at all either.

Kev.OC

I usually use my time on the throne to check the BBC news app on the phone. It's a convenient way of multi-tasking to keep myself up to speed on world affairs.

FanadMan

tempura wrote: »

Yep , I do and I have the entire collection of these

http://bathroomreader.com/books-2/

You can learn things on the loo.

Have them too - love em. And have so many books in the bathroom, I'm thinking of putting up a shelf in there just to store them

I Heart Internet

Of course I read in the bathroom.

I'm baffled that others don't (OP).

ShadowHearth

My weapon of choice - boards.ie on smartphone. I found myself always grabbing a phone when I need to go for poop!

scdublin

^I'm quite surprised at how many people do, and then choose to stay in there and read when they've actually finished doing their number 1/number 2. I'd much prefer to go to the sofa or bed and read. Maybe it's just me but I also find it unhygienic.

lookitsme

scdublin wrote: »

^I'm quite surprised at how many people do, and then choose to stay in there and read when they've actually finished doing their number 1/number 2. I'd much prefer to go to the sofa or bed and read. Maybe it's just me but I also find it unhygienic.

unhygienic schmienic

Mickey Lover

Reading on the jacks is just not my idea of fun - I get in, do the job and get out pronto. Why would you want to sit in the stink of your own shyte to read ? All those particles floating around - nah too germy for me

scdublin

lookitsme wrote: »

unhygienic schmienic

You wipe yourself after you go to the toilet, then touch the newspaper....you flush the toilet and the particles land on the newspaper...the newspaper goes around the house with those germs on it...yes, very unhygienic in my opinion.

kfallon

I had a quick read of the shower gel bottle this morn, apparently with shower gel you're not supposed to 'rinse & repeat'.....that's where I've been going wrong all these years :pac:

Bad Panda

No!

I never got that.

I want to go in, do what I have to get and get out in 5 mins or so.

Anyone that needs to spend longer (and by longer I mean such a length of time that would necessitate bringING reading material) should see a doctor imo!

Stab*City

Always

I use my iPad when i'm excreting.

Nothingbetter2d

RVP 11 wrote: »

I use my iPad when i'm excreting.

do you have an app for that?

ipoo perhaps?

Nothingbetter2d

Nothingbetter2d wrote: »

do you have an app for that?

ipoo perhaps?

The one that measures how long you poo for in your lifetime?
These forums are a great source of (****e) reading.:D

Nothingbetter2d

RVP 11 wrote: »

The one that measures how long you poo for in your lifetime?
These forums are a great source of (****e) reading.:D

tbh there is a lot of sh!te apps for ipad/iphone too

Nothingbetter2d

Nothingbetter2d wrote: »

tbh there is a lot of sh!te apps for ipad/iphone too

True!
There was one called iFart2.0, you could upload your own sounds and other people rated them etc.
There was some awful sounds on that app, used to have me in stitches whilst ****ting.:pac:

CruelCoin

It amazes me that people take so long to take a dump that they have time to read.

I feel the urge, i sit on loo, vacate and i'm out again. 5 mins max.

If it's taking you 30 mins, then eat more fooking fibre....

CruelCoin

CruelCoin wrote: »

It amazes me that people take so long to take a dump that they have time to read.

I feel the urge, i sit on loo, vacate and i'm out again. 5 mins max.

If it's taking you 30 mins, then eat more fooking fibre....

Some people bang the mrs in 5 mins too.:pac:

Nothingbetter2d

RVP 11 wrote: »

Some people bang the mrs in 5 mins too.:pac:

are you one of those people?

MrReynholm

nua domhan wrote: »

I sometimes sit with the laptop so long i get pins and needles in my legs.

I thought I was the only one :O

There are people who give and receive blumpkins, so while they exist, I shall not judge people who read on the John.

Nothingbetter2d

Nothingbetter2d wrote: »

are you one of those people?

I'm not married and 5 mins wouldn't be even enough to squeeze me in.:p

MrReynholm

People who brag about their cock size or their performance in bed on the internet are most often these guys http://i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/003/619/Untitled-1.jpg

Or those who end up sitting on a chair opposite this guy http://www.washingtonpost.com/rf/image_296w/WashingtonPost/Content/Blogs/celebritology/StandingArt/hansen2.jpg?uuid=1lkJfKMuEeCEfDuKiwY_ag

MrReynholm

MrReynholm wrote: »

People who brag about their cock size or their performance in bed on the internet are most often these guys http://i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/003/619/Untitled-1.jpg

Or those who end up sitting on a chair opposite this guy http://www.washingtonpost.com/rf/image_296w/WashingtonPost/Content/Blogs/celebritology/StandingArt/hansen2.jpg?uuid=1lkJfKMuEeCEfDuKiwY_ag

^^^^^
I have a bigger dick than you, both in soul & physique..:pac:

Cee-Jay-Cee

I have a fear of toilets and so do not sit on the seat but hover over it while straining to dump my load and so reading isn't exactly possible.

MrReynholm

CJC999 wrote: »

I have a fear of toilets and so do not sit on the seat but hover over it while straining to dump my load and so reading isn't exactly possible.

Your work/computer desk and your kitchen most likely have more germs on them than your typical toilet seat.

So yeah, better start hover typing or keeping the anti-bacterial soap nearby.

MrReynholm

RVP 11 wrote: »

^^^^^
I have a bigger dick than you, both in soul & physique..:pac:

"...he types, while shouting up from the basement to his elderly mother to bring him a sandwich and a fresh box of kleenex"