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HIV Dating

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  • 05-07-2012 5:16pm
    #1
    RoySheehan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22 ✭


    What are people's attitudes to dating/hooking up with a person who is HIV positive?
    Tagged:


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    #2
    1ZRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    It would really depend on the guy. If it was a hook up, I would really be cautious, ill at ease and probably wouldn't go through with it. Although if I dated the guy and got to know and trust him, I could accept it and be more careful.

    It's not exactly a red flag for me buts it's not ideal either.


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    #3
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,062 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    RoySheehan wrote: »
    What are people's attitudes to dating/hooking up with a person who is HIV positive?

    I think if the person is open and honest from the start and once necessary precautions are taken it would be fine

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #4
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,062 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    I agree Pedant I think the arguments that you make are judgemental and ignorant and also incredibly insulting and stigmatising.

    You seem to think that all HIV positive people were druggies who slept around and are druggies who sleep around.

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #5
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,062 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Pedant wrote: »
    Didn't suggest they were druggies (though many are) just stupid, careless and did sleep around. I honestly don't care if what I said was insulting. Truth hurts. There should be a stigma over HIV, it ought to be isolated and contained for the good of society as a whole.

    Society as a whole includes HIV positive people. It's fine if you want to treat HIV positive people as less than human, shove them into a leper colony and assume from your moral highground that you could never make a mistake, that you are never careless or stupid and that you are a superior being that society should worship. Just don't expect me to agree with such disgustingly inhumane attitudes. And don't expect that anyone with HIV would ever want you as a friend.

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #6
    floggg
    Registered Users Posts: 5,820 ✭✭✭floggg


    Pedant wrote: »
    mango salsa wrote: »
    I agree Pedant I think the arguments that you make are judgemental and ignorant and also incredibly insulting and stigmatising.

    You seem to think that all HIV positive people were druggies who slept around and are druggies who sleep around.

    Didn't suggest they were druggies (though many are) just stupid, careless and did sleep around. I honestly don't care if what I said was insulting. Truth hurts. There should be a stigma over HIV, it ought to be isolated and contained for the good of society as a whole.

    That's not truth, it's ignorance. It's disrespectful. It's hurtful. It's I'll informed. It's judgmental.

    Your posts also show a complete lack of compassion and an amazing level of selfishness.

    Personally I don't know how I'd respond to the situation but if I felt I had a connection with somebody I'd like to think I'd try to give them a chance. Plenty of people are in LTR's with HIV+ people without getting infected. It might complicate things but you make sacrifices in all kinds of relationships.

    Would also say outright no to somebody with a disability or with otherwise challenging circumstances?

    Some people get HIV from bad decisions. Some people are unlucky. Some people take all the right precautions but unfortunately there is no absolutely safe form of sex (whether it's NSA or after dating or within a LTR). A good, intelligent person can make one decision in the heat of the moment that they will live to regret.

    You're clearly unrepentant and assured of your own righteousness so this post isn't for you Pedant. It's for anybody else reading this who might be HIV+ reading that bile you spewed so they know that not everybody is so ill informed and judgmental.

    And moral stain? Get off your high horse. It's not for you, great. It's not for many of us. But who are you to judge in such damning terms. Plenty of people would say they same about you just for being gay. you want tolerance for your sexuality and relationships? Show the same to other peoples sex lives and keep your nose out of theirs.


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    #7
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,062 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Pedant wrote: »
    Now I'm not suggesting we treat them as "less human", not at all.

    Actually you are. Suggestions of stigmatisation and isolation and quarantine are perfect examples of treating people as less than human.

    Pedant wrote: »
    There should be a stigma over HIV, it ought to be isolated and contained for the good of society as a whole.
    Pedant wrote: »
    Do you know what they do in hospitals when someone has a contagious virus? They quarantine them. Should we stop quaranting people because somehow we don't want to treat them as "less human"? Is quarantining someone really disgusting and inhumane?

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #8
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,062 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Pedant wrote: »
    In fact, it could be an opportunity for the person there are more ways to fulfill their life than through sex.

    More nonsense from the judgemental moral high ground. Who ever said that HIV positive people only think their lives are fulfilled through sex.

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #9
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,062 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Pedant wrote: »
    Okay, so maybe you think disallowing HIV+ people working in hospitals or with blood products is inhumane too?

    If you promote having HIV as being alright and not as bad as people say it is, then that'll just encourage because to act careless and think that having HIV doesn't really matter.

    Again, I really don't care if I've insulted anyone or hurt their feelings. "Aww, you got HIV after having bareback sex in a bathhouse, aww pure you!". Rubbish.

    Not bothering to reply to such nasty vile judgementalism anymore.

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #10
    baby and crumble
    Registered Users Posts: 8,512 ✭✭✭baby and crumble


    First of all can everyone just calm down?

    Secondly, pedant, the language and tone you have been using in this thread is overly aggressive, and uncalled for. Please treat all posters with the respect they deserve.


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    #11
    Nebit
    Closed Accounts Posts: 310 ✭✭Nebit


    if the mods don't mind and im aware this will likely be dismissed but I would just like to bring something to the table.

    My friend was born with HIV and I have seen him for 20 odd years be tormented by people who say these horrible things. Again its one group of people that brings the entire group down .. it's like saying all priests are paedophiles, they're not! simple as.

    Also before it's said the mother shouldn't have slept around, taken drugs, had children etc... she was a victim of rape and that child ultimately too.


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    #12
    Pedant
    Closed Accounts Posts: 919 ✭✭✭Pedant


    Nebit wrote: »
    if the mods don't mind and im aware this will likely be dismissed but I would just like to bring something to the table.

    My friend was born with HIV and I have seen him for 20 odd years be tormented by people who say these horrible things. Again its one group of people that brings the entire group down .. it's like saying all priests are paedophiles, they're not! simple as.

    Also before it's said the mother shouldn't have slept around, taken drugs, had children etc... she was a victim of rape and that child ultimately too.

    Mods can attest to the fact that before I deleted all my posts on this thread in my first post I was referring specifically to people who contracted HIV via unprotected sex, etc.. and specifically mentioned that I wasn't referring to children who have the virus or people who were raped. Mods can attest to this. I was aiming my attacks at those who have unprotected sex, lead promiscuous unhealthy lifestyles and drug abuse, not the other cases. I apologise if it came across that way.


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    #13
    ancapailldorcha
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 38,462 CMod ✭✭✭✭ancapailldorcha


    The Cochrane collaboration estimate that condoms have an 80% chance of preventing transmission if used properly. As far as I know, antiretrovirals can prevent contraction of infection if taken immediately after exposure. I still don't think I could date or hook up with someone with the virus.

    We sat again for an hour and a half discussing maps and figures and always getting back to that most damnable creation of the perverted ingenuity of man - the County of Tyrone.

    H. H. Asquith



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    #14
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,062 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Pedant wrote: »
    Mods can attest to the fact that before I deleted all my posts on this thread in my first post I was referring specifically to people who contracted HIV via unprotected sex, etc.. and specifically mentioned that I wasn't referring to children who have the virus or people who were raped. Mods can attest to this.

    Attested to.

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #15
    Nebit
    Closed Accounts Posts: 310 ✭✭Nebit


    Pedant wrote: »
    Mods can attest to the fact that before I deleted all my posts on this thread in my first post I was referring specifically to people who contracted HIV via unprotected sex, etc.. and specifically mentioned that I wasn't referring to children who have the virus or people who were raped. Mods can attest to this. I was aiming my attacks at those who have unprotected sex, lead a promiscuous unhealthy lifestyles and drug abuse, not the other cases. I apologise if it came across that way.

    Ok I apologise so.


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    #16
    Pedant
    Closed Accounts Posts: 919 ✭✭✭Pedant


    Nebit wrote: »
    Ok I apologise so.

    There's no need. It's my fault for deleting my earlier posts. It's me who should be apologising.


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    #17
    libnation
    Registered Users Posts: 92 ✭✭libnation


    HIV in a partner is not much to be worried about at all. I'd gladly date anyone HIV positive! I'd hate to think people with HIV are hiding away in fear of rejection because of it!

    At the same time, whilst some people's attitudes towards HIV is not favourable, it is just an attitude people have due to misconceptions!


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    #18
    MicraBoy
    Registered Users Posts: 916 ✭✭✭MicraBoy


    Pedant wrote: »
    Mods can attest to the fact that before I deleted all my posts on this thread in my first post I was referring specifically to people who contracted HIV via unprotected sex, etc.. and specifically mentioned that I wasn't referring to children who have the virus or people who were raped. Mods can attest to this. I was aiming my attacks at those who have unprotected sex, lead promiscuous unhealthy lifestyles and drug abuse, not the other cases. I apologise if it came across that way.

    Good AIDS vs Bad AIDS

    I find your selective compassion nauseating and hypocritical.


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    #19
    Conor30
    Registered Users Posts: 522 ✭✭✭Conor30


    I would never judge someone just because they were HIV +. I would also have no problem being with a guy and having a relationship with him even if he is HIV +. I have never yet (knowingly anyway). Any of us could become HIV + so no one should be complacent or judgmental of others. Indeed, quite a few HIV + people don't even know they are so.


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    #20
    Pedant
    Closed Accounts Posts: 919 ✭✭✭Pedant


    Sorry about the language I've used on this thread so far. I'm after reading back on the thread and I realize what a prick I was.

    I'm kind of a hypochondriac when it comes to STIs, especially HIV, but I'm not going to use that as an excuse. I overreacted. I'm not usually that judgmental in relation to a lot of things.

    Sorry if I offended anyone, though invariably I have.


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    #21
    floggg
    Registered Users Posts: 5,820 ✭✭✭floggg


    Fair play. Respect anybody who admits they erred.

    On an aside tho, I hate when people say I'm sorry if I offended anybody. I know its just a turn of phrase, but your either sorry or not. It shouldn't be conditional on whether the other person took offense. That's kinda putting it back on time for being overly sensitive. If you said something wrong, it's wrong regardless of whether or not anybody gets upset.

    That's not really aimed at you, but it pisses me off when I see that sort of apology in the press.


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