Massive issue with childminder

carolinespring

Moonbeam wrote: »

Is she registered with childminding Ireland?
She needs to be she registered for that amount of kids,is she insured?
I would report her to the she and social services.

No Childminder can have 8 pre school kids. She can have 3 before she has to inform the HSE, once she takes on the 4th she would have to be notified to the HSE and can mind no more that 5 pre school children and out of that no more than 2 can be under 15 months and she would need to have insurance, First Aid, Child protection training at the very least.

OP said in the opening post that she is not insured nor has she any training. The childminder is a joke and one that give good Childminders a bad name.

I personally think anyone minding children, even 1 child should be notified to the HSE.

So this childminder is flounting the law and with noregard for the safety and welfare of the children in her care.

In the OP "unhappy out" the childminder today had 8 children under 4 years, 5 school age children and 3 of her own. Thats 16 children to 1 adult.... Nuts. No one person can look after that many kids.

At a minimun of 8,000 a month for zero care, I hope she is closed down and fined at the very least. Infact I really hope the full weight of the law comes down on her.

Thinking of you OP.

Final Approach

Adults have a responsibility to take care of children and to protect their welfare very simply as they cannot take care of themselves. You are aware of a group of children not being cared for or supervised properly, and are also aware of one of them having had a potentially serious accident, very possibly due to the negligence of a so called childminder. You therefore absolutely did the right thing. You are putting the welfare of the children she is minding ahead of protecting her questionable services. Anybody that thinks any different should ask themselves if they would feel the same if that boy had pulled a kettle of boiling water on top of himself due to being unsupervised, instead of just cutting himself?

Secondly, It is my opinion that your husband has been hugely unsupportive, and would suggest that you have a serious conversation with him on what his responsibilities are and his priorities should be as the father your children, not to mention your husband.

edellc

Op they are your kids your responsibility and if you are not happy about the childcare they are receiving then move them, if your husband doesnt like this, tough...he has his priorities all wrong and if he wont stand up for his kids then you have to

As for the sister and mother in law, so what if there is a nuclear fall out, let them get their knickers in a twist, its not your problem and let them moan to your hubby and if and when he says anything just tell him in a calm manner that you are doing this for the safety and welfare of your children, if he cant see that then its him with the problem, but dont argue state the fact and let him give himself a heart attack with the stress, you know you are doing the right thing

As for reporting the sister, I would have done the same thing with no regrets, if she is doing what she is doing illegally, putting kids at risk and using their parents to fill her shopping list then it needs to be addressed and if as you said you constantly meet hostilities when anything is said then you really had no choice but to do what you did, do not feel guilty in anyway.

Get your kids into the childcare you want to and smile and nod if the hubby looses it but do it anyway if he doesnt like it, he knows where the door is.

Sounds harsh yes I know but believe me I have been through something similar with the in laws and you need to stand firm, you kids cant stick up for themselves that is their parents job and if one is not doing that then you need to take charge.

Big Bag of Chips

You did the right thing by reporting her, but I think your reason behind it was cowardly. Is she still minding your children?

You reported her in the hope she would be shut down, and then that would solve your problem of removing the children from her care without upsetting the in-laws.

What if she doesn't get shut down? What if conditions are put on her, and once she abides with them she is allowed to continue, and wants to keep your kids on... What then?

Where our kids are involved we need to learn to stand up for them. We need to be confident in our choices and not allow family or anyone else to sway us from what we believe is best for our children. Somethings of course can be compromised... Somethings can't.

Edit: And you're right, you're doing her weekly shopping.

cbyrd

Would you hand the keys of your car to someone you know would not treat it right?? These are your children, the most precious people in your life.. I don't know how you have not just told her what to do with herself. I'd be more concerned as to why your husband will not stand up for his children... after all one has already landed in hospital.. what would it take before he puts them first?
I'd just move them and say nothing.. first to complain should get it with both barrels. You have no loyalty to this woman.. you're not married to her !:(
I'd also be asking her for her insurance details for the injury your son got.. after all if you are paying her she is liable..

I really want to use stronger language but i feel i'd be banned :eek:

LegacyUser

You were placed in a difficult situation.
So were your children.
You were in a 'tight corner'.
I suggest you delete this thread as
you may have put enough detail here
to be found out.
Good luck and take care.

analucija

Your SIL didn't pay much attention to the laws before, so I'm not sure that HSE visit will change anything for you. She will lose some or all of the children and will be maybe even more eager to keep minding "family members".

You did the right thing but I very much doubt you solved your own problem. Somehow you will have to assert your will and send the children to another minder. If that means falling out with your husband's relatives then so be it.

Ellsbells

Obviously the childminder is acting inappropriately but what sticks out for me here is your willingness to allow this to happen and continue. No one on the planet would convince me to put my children into a child minding situation I was unhappy with. Why did you not stand up to them? Why did your husband not back you up?

You have really put the cat amongst the pidgeons now by reporting her and I cant see how this wont backfire on you

LegacyUser

OP here.

Thank you for all your replies. I collected my children on Friday to find my Mother in Law in the house with no sign of Sister in law. I was told she "had" to pop out bit no more information was offered. I needless to say did not ask. I was shaking leaving.

I had made a few calls on friday to find out about the availability in my area and am going to see a few places this week. I did own up and tell my husband that I did report his sister. He was stunned but quite calm about it all. Of course he does not want his family to find out and that is ok with me. He is also worried about the fall out of it all on his sister but ws not at all mad with me. I was sure we would hve had the mother of all rows over it. I told him that the kids had to be moved and while he didnt find it urgent as I do, he agreed and will come with me to see new places.

Anyway, this morning I get a call from my sister in law to say that she has hurt her back and won't be able to take any kids for a couple of weeks at the very least as her back is really bad, also that she was thinking of giving up childminding but would let me know for sure in a few weeks. I said we would have to look for someone to look after the kids as I do not have the holidays to take the time of work nor does my husband. She said that was fine.

I finished the call and burst into tears. Thankfully we can now move forward. My husband heard this afternoon from his brother that his sister had the pre school inspector on friday and that she had to shut to sort out the mess and reduce the number of kids, get insurance and make the place safe. Nothing of this was said to me during the phone call with my sister in law, nor did my mother in law say anything when she alled today to either my husband or me.

To all who could not understand why I let her mind my children. Well, I felt under pressure to, my husband didnt want to cause trouble within the family. I was wrong to go along with it and my husband is a kind of guy who never stood up to his family as he never wanted the drama that went with it. He is a good father and husband, but again needs to stand up for himself more with regard to his family. Hopefully now it won't be a issue as we won't see much of them. I will be sorry always for allowing her to mind my girls.

To address those who said wht I did was sly, well, to hell with that. I felt I had my back to the wall and needed to do something so I did what I felt I had to, maybe it was not the best way to go about but the more I think about it I feel I did the right thing for my children and all the other children who where in her care. The place was awful and not suitable for children so that needs/needed to be addressed.
If she didn't pay her tax then that is her issue and not mine. It was only when someone added it up her that I can see how much she was making for a really shoddy service and yet not a penny was spend to make the service good for our kids. I am boiling with temper thinking about it. She always played the poor mouth. So no I am not sorry and glad it turned out ok for me. Just sorry I waited until a little boy was hurt to report her. My 3.5 year old was so excited when I told her she was not going back to her aunt tomorrow as she had hurt her back. She knows she and her sister will have have a new minder.

So thanks guys.

highly1111

I'm delighted things have worked out for you OP. I think you were right to tell your husband aswell. It would have being hard to contain. So sorry to read your story in the first place. I won't dwell but completely agree with the majority of other posters. Having 2 children myself I can only imagine your worry. As for the tax evasion - I really do hope she's penalised.

I wish you and your family all the best.

Lisha

Op ive been folllowing this thread, im delighted yourself and your husband are now on the same page. its great that you have been so open and honest andthat its ok between you both.
MY husband has an interesting family to say the least. He often takes the path of least resistance on things rather than have hassle. He has had to cut contact completely with some as he knows that is the only way they wont badly affect our lives. So I can totally understand why ye were caught in an impossible situation. But im delighted you can now move onwards and upwards.
the fact that she and the mother in law did not tell you just shows that she knows she was wrong on so many levels.
Best of luck Op

Scarlet42

thats great news OP .. well done and fair play to you!!

JoeyJJ

Well done, so glad I am extremely happy with the creche I drop my two daughters to every day, couldn't imagine issues like this, families can be trouble with issues like this, sounds like she knows she was taking the piss and prob suspects you might have blown the whistle.

LittleBook

Unhappy out wrote: »

this morning I get a call from my sister in law to say that she has hurt her back and won't be able to take any kids for a couple of weeks at the very least as her back is really bad, also that she was thinking of giving up childminding but would let me know for sure in a few weeks.

Unhappy out wrote: »

My husband heard this afternoon from his brother that his sister had the pre school inspector on friday and that she had to shut to sort out the mess and reduce the number of kids, get insurance and make the place safe.

Ha! The lying wench! :pac:

And fair play to the HSE getting someone out there on the same day as the complaint, hopefully she'll be getting a visit from Revenue soon enough.

notsobusy

Delighted this has worked out for you.

I would have done the same thing to be honest although I think I would have stood up to OH sooner and just taken the kids out but I can understand why he didn't want to rock the boat either. Glad he has taken everything on board. Obviously your reaction and actions made him realise that you were serious about everything.

I'm self employed too and I make sure I have everything in order too and it really annoys me when people who don't stick to the rules seem to get away with it all the time!

Sleepy

As the others have said, glad this worked out for you.

And on behalf of the taxpayers of Ireland, thanks. I'm sick of people who earn far more than me (and seemingly in this case aren't qualified or fit to do what they're being paid for) not paying their taxes.

Tim Robbins

Sounds like HELL.

Answer - don't live near in - laws!

IF sister in law is so bad at minding kids, why do 8 other parents let their kids stay there?

Tim Robbins

Just re-read thread.

No matter how right you were or wrong you were, I think you should ask for this thread to be deleted.

Hotblack Desiato

Oh FFS. If people can't discuss real issues of importance to them, for fear of the panty wetting internet police then what is the point of boards at all - shut it all down except AH :rolleyes:

GarIT

It might be a good idea to close this thread or delete it if possible, the OP is resolved and we dont want the in-laws seeing it.

Hotblack Desiato

Screw the in-laws, they won't get anything they don't deserve, and no names are named.

There is way too much tolerance in this country to wrongdoing.

Hotblack Desiato

Deleting the thread would imply the OP was wrong to post what they posted.

It would deny others in a similar situation in future to see this thread and its outcome (perhaps painful for the OPs in-laws precious feelings, but definitely beneficial to the children concerned) and won't encourage them to do the right thing, which is to protect the welfare of children above the feelings of adults.

Whatever about locking it (and I don't see a reason to lock it), deleting the thread would be flat out wrong.

GarIT

ninja900 wrote: »

Deleting the thread would imply the OP was wrong to post what they posted.

It would deny others in a similar situation in future to see this thread and its outcome (perhaps painful for the OPs in-laws precious feelings, but definitely beneficial to the children concerned) and won't encourage them to do the right thing, which is to protect the welfare of children above the feelings of adults.

Whatever about locking it (and I don't see a reason to lock it), deleting the thread would be flat out wrong.

Perhaps you are right, my only thought that it might save some hardship for the OP that would be caused if the OP's in-laws read this.

Anyone in the situation would obviously know who it was.

The idea of locking it was to make it fade away with the other locked threads.

Hotblack Desiato

If a mod feels the thread has run its course then locking it is fine, but deleting it would be another thing.

Irish people have a great desire to be seen to be 'nice' but often this leads to not rockign the boat at all costs, saying one thing to people's faces and doing or saying another behind their backs. However where children are concerned there's no room for pussyfooting about, imho.

Some straight talking at the get-go would've prevented this whole unfortunate situation and would have ultimately led to less hassle with the in-laws. However if the outcome is the shutdown of a creche that was potentially harmful to kids, then it's a good thing, even if some adults who should've known better have their egos hurt.

carolinespring

OP, I hope you found childcare that you and your children will be happy with. Your opening post was a very shocking read and I am so glad you have got your kids away from that hell hole. Delighted that your husband is now on board with what is best for your children.

The fact that your Mother in law and sister in law would not let on that the pre school inspector was around shows that they had something to hide.

January

We won't be locking or deleting the thread unless the OP comes back and asks us to. It's not up for debate so stop posting about it.

doubletrouble?

O.P i'm glad there was a happy ending.
in life we tend stand up to our partners quicker than we do to our own families. at the start your husband thought he was doing the right thing and was i suppose was fearful to a degree from the backlash from his family. but it took him alot more courage to standby you and make a right stand in the end.from the time we grow up we are taught never to answer back especially to our elders (parents).it's natural that the last people we want to hurt apart from our children are our parents , that goes for both husbands and wifes sides of families. we will be the same when we try to teach our kids right from wrong. when it comes to in laws i think most of us can relate to this thread in some degree no matter how small.