The 'Catholic house decoration' game

jill_valentine

robindch wrote: »

Any chance a few scans/photos of the book in general might make their way here?

I'd been trying to think of a delicate way to request exactly that, I really want to read this.

FinnLizzy

ninja900 wrote: »

-Irish-published 1960s sex manual with official Catholic Church seal of approval (I'm not joking, holy logo next to the contents page.) This was on a very high shelf. The only sex manual in the world that doesn't mention contraception. Or blow jobs. Or anything but straight, non-inverted missionary...

Please! We need an entire thread dedicated to this! Make it your business to find and scan that book.

Hotblack Desiato

robindch wrote: »

Any chance a few scans/photos of the book in general might make their way here?

Sorry, no idea what happened to it, but it's not there any more.
It was called 'Life Cycle' and written by some Irish ob/gyn fella.
Seemed fairly and squarely aimed at nervous brides-to-be wondering what was going to happen to them.
The only illustrations would have been of the inter cert biology type (e.g. cross section of a vagina, rather than a pic of the outside, lest anyone got excited by that... etc.)
The tone of it was like 'this is what happens, this is how you get pregnant' rather than the Joy of Sex or anything. Still, it was better than sheer ignorance I suppose.



Edit: I still can't believe I'm discussing, on the internet, with complete strangers, a book about sex bought 45 years ago by.. my mother :eek:

recedite

ninja900 wrote: »

-Dead twig on top of one picture in the living room. Only one though. Used to think that disposing of the old one in fire was cool (we didn't have an open fire ) the magic only lasted 12 months in these things apparently
...

What's the story with the twig? I've never heard of that one. Sounds more like a pagan thing.

Hotblack Desiato

^ the twig was discussed earlier, 'palm' or in reality some random non-deciduous twig which was blessed on Palm Sunday. You'd put up the new one and destroy the old one in fire, don't know why the bin wouldn't do...

Interesting that you mention paganism though.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christianity_and_paganism#Pagan_influences_on_Christianity

The Pagan vernal equinox celebration was 'christianized' and then referred to as the Annunciation to the Blessed Virgin Mary or Annunciation of the Lord and celebrated as the Feast of the Annunciation. ... Summer solstice was a tradition for many pagans. This pagan holiday, was basically brought in and given a name change, and in Christianity was then associated with the nativity of John the Baptist, which now is observed on the same day, June 24, in the Catholic, Orthodox and some Protestant churches. It is six months before Christmas because Luke 1:26 and Luke 1.36 imply that John the Baptist was born six months earlier than Jesus, although the Bible does not say at which time of the year this happened.

And of course, that midwinter festival around for thousands of years which some people think non-Christians shouldn't celebrate. Next time you hear one complain about the 'true meaning of Christmas being lost' just laugh in their ignorant face.

recedite

ninja900 wrote: »

^ the twig was discussed earlier, 'palm' or in reality some random non-deciduous twig which was blessed on Palm Sunday. You'd put up the new one and destroy the old one in fire, don't know why the bin wouldn't do...

Oh yeah, the Leylandii branch; I think it was only supposed to be an Easter thing though. Maybe extra-holy people were reluctant to let go of it until they got a new one, the following year.

kylith

You stick they above pictures, these days it seems to be just the Sacred Heart ones, but when I was a kid my Nan had them over ever picture in the house, and they protect the house from fire, or something. Even as a kid I didn't see the logic of filling your house with kindling in order to ward off fire.

kerash

Picture of Jesus: 10 points (+5 if it has a red light under it)YES
Padre Pio car sticker: 20 ponts YES
Rosery Beads: 10 points (keep in mind, some auld ones like to drape everything in them like it's going out of fashion) YES
If your house ever hosted a station: 100 points (I only found out what it was recently from my OH, basically the preist and other parishioners come to your house and have mass, very culchie thing) YES

Sacred Heart with light in the kitchen, no longer there! We had a Padre Pio in one car. And I remember Rosary beads in the drawer plus getting some on/for my communion day.
We had a station once.
145 points!

Bonus points:
I can add miraculous medals to this and bottles of holy water from lourdes, several St. Brigids crosses, Palm, church 'money' envelopes, calender with holy pictures and the holy days marked in, confirmation picture with the bishop, mother was the priest's house keeper for a short time, have a baptism candle.

And I thought we weren't that religious when I was growing up before this quiz :pac:
(In my house we have some rosery beads that we found from the previous people, hung them up in 'safety corner' beside the fire extinguisher and fire blanket, just in case

Wereghost

pontia wrote: »

for people who seem to believe in nothing you spend a lot of time giving out/abusing taking the piss out of catholics,strange you dont do same to muslims,you afraid there might be a backlash ?

Muslims only kill you; Catholics consign you to Hell.

By the way, isn't atheism about not believing in nothing?

lazygal

Do you get points for having attended and/or hosted The Stations? My mum's parents hosted The Stations and the priest refused to eat with anyone else and demanded his own table in a different room to eat in. Sure its what Jesus would have wanted.

recedite

kerash wrote: »

church 'money' envelopes,

Minus 10 points for keeping them instead of handing them in stuffed with cash :pac:

Squ

I was in McCarthys' in Rathdrum looking for a new strimmer when "Mrs Doyle" comes in, priest in toe. She had a new looking Sthil Strimmer she was looking to trade in as it was too heavy for her in the large parochial garden.

I offered €10 more than the trade in price.. And I got a blessing thrown in, not bad.

robindch

lazygal wrote: »

My mum's parents hosted The Stations and the priest refused to eat with anyone else and demanded his own table in a different room to eat in.

If the shower who showed up in my parents' house for some religious shindig years ago are anything to go by, I'd say your priest was a wise man indeed.

tommy2bad

So far.....340 points. I'm claiming an extra 100 for the 2 scapulars we didn't wear.
440.
Still have a lot of stuff around mostly icons tho. Cant beat catholic tat for decor better than the cheap prints from woodies anyway. That stuff just makes your house look like a b'n'b or as if it's being held on to till the property slump is over.

Ellis Dee

When we bought our house here in Laois way back in the 1980s, the widow who sold it to us left a "Sacred Heart" picture, complete with a red electric bulb with a cross inside. We thought it was kind of cute in an absurd kind of way and it stayed there no matter what way we decorated for many years until an elderly aunt asked us for it. Not unmindful of the possibility of featuring in her will, I gave it to her.;);)

But my (Finnish) wife's greatest find was in a cupboard, where it had probably been for decades: a atatue of the Virgin Mary in a deep glass-fronted frame, with a satin lining around the statue.

However, the colours have faded over time, except the brilliant red of her rather pouting lips. Her once blue robe is now just a hint of azure and her skin is as white as Morticia Addams's. In fact, she looks like a whore.:D:D

eyescreamcone

We had a full size Jesus statue (when I was eight years old) that we put in the window for a few days every Corpus Christi weekend.
Plus we had yellow and white bunting which was draped from the upstairs window down to the garden for the same event.

Must be worth a few points.


I definitely lose points for not writing Christmas, but Merry Xmas on cards(except to my mother).

To really wind people up SAY "Merry Xmas (sometimes I even use Xbox!) and a Happy Boxing Day (instead of St.Stephens Day)".

How many points do I get/lose for that???

tommy2bad

eyescreamcone wrote: »

We had a full size Jesus statue (when I was eight years old) that we put in the window for a few days every Corpus Christi weekend.
Plus we had yellow and white bunting which was draped from the upstairs window down to the garden for the same event.

Must be worth a few points.


I definitely lose points for not writing Christmas, but Merry Xmas on cards(except to my mother).

To really wind people up SAY "Merry Xmas (sometimes I even use Xbox!) and a Happy Boxing Day (instead of St.Stephens Day)".

How many points do I get/lose for that???

LOL and the parade of little brides down the village, suppose it justified the cost of the communion dress that it got a second outing.
Sorry no points lost or gained for xmass, it's a Christian shorthand dating back as far as St Bede.
Boxing day OTOH is just wrong

Sarky

I have a little statue of Cthulhu on my mantlepiece, is that worth negative points? And how much for a Batman figurine?

gozunda

Heres the motherload for those getting all nostalgic....


http://www.veritasbooksonline.com/religious-accessories/statues.html


available on line - how much to maximise your points?

For those that miss these ...

Hotblack Desiato

Ahh, Veritas. Thought I'd have a look there to see how the Catholic sex manual, 21st century style, is getting on...

Your Sexual Self, Pathway to Authentic Intimacy - no review blurb but doesn't sound too promising. Probably lots of empty pages except for one with "GET MARRIED" written on it.

Questions & Answers on Sex & Marriage

For many people the Catholic Church holds outdated and impractical views when it comes to sex, marriage and contraception. Dr Charlie ODonnell answers 24 of the most common questions put to him by couples at marriage preparation classes.

Would almost be tempted to go to the shop just to find out what the 24 questions are...


Discernment of Vocations with regard to Persons with Homosexual Tendencies in view of their admission to Seminary and Holy Orders Ah yes the old "Homosexuality = Paedophilia, to prevent the latter just keep out the former" :rolleyes:

Dades

ninja900 wrote: »

Ahh, Veritas. Thought I'd have a look there to see how the Catholic sex manual, 21st century style, is getting on...

Your Sexual Self, Pathway to Authentic Intimacy - no review blurb but doesn't sound too promising. Probably lots of empty pages except for one with "GET MARRIED" written on it.

Seems the two who wrote this are a priest and a nun who live together!

Unsurprisingly they seem to be regarded as *rogue* in certain quarters.

Banbh

Dr Charlie is one of a nasty group of doctors in London who use their profession to prevent patients getting the most modern treatment in the interest of "staying true to Christ".

Here's his advice for doctors on how to avoid prescribing the morning-after pill. http://cmq.org.uk/CMQ/2011/3-avoid-morning-after-pill.html

Hotblack Desiato

Dades wrote: »

Seems the two who wrote this are a priest and a nun who live together!

*tries hard to put aside years of Catholic school indoctrination and see priests and nuns as real people*

*fails dismally as never met a nun who didn't look at least 80 on a good day*

*then considers will Veritas be ordered to shut down by Rome over this*

*head explodes*


Edit: so I actually clicked on the blog for the priest and nun who live together. First thing I see...

Try to enter the narrow way...

...I'll bet he does

recedite

http://ferderheagle.blogspot.ie/

Ferder says the relationship is celibate

All that "authentic intimacy" was purely for research purposes. Including the "trying to enter the narrow way".
The path to literary greatness is cruel and tortuous

Choochtown

gawker wrote: »

Oddest/freakiest moment of my life occurred at a friends house party. His mother is fairly religious and as I was taking a pee I noticed a statue of Mary staring right back at me from atop the toilet. It made me feel guilty about going toilet - how Catholic...

Just reminded me of that brilliant "Curb Your Enthusiasm" episode where Larry (his new medication is causing him to drink and pee a lot) is peeing beside the Jesus picture.

Anyone interested will find it with a You Tube search: "pissing on Jesus"

Now just to keep this post on topic, surely where the relic is positioned should have some weighting on the points system? Personally I think a bathroom relic should score double.

jill_valentine

bathroom relic

Ew.

greenbicycle

Cant believe it took half the thread to mention the ol marriage cert yoke from the pope! Pride of place in the sitting room.

How many points do y get for my wee little glow in the dark mary statue that looked just like a mini version of the blue hat holy water bottles..... When you held the wee statue up to a light for a minute and then turned off the lights the mary had a fierce holy glow off her for a bit.......

plein de force

People gave my mother gifts of those tacky pictures with the red lights under them but she smiled politely and then put them in the shed for fear of them catching fire as they don't look very well put together and because they're tacky looking, plus my father is anti-religion.

my mother does have a small cross on the mantlepiece, some small statues but that's all dad will allow her, almost had a conniption when she wanted to put up a holy water font. if it wasn't for him im afraid i'd be into the 100s with the points

McChubbin

Let's see...

Couple of bottles of holy water, including one I brough back from Lourdes when I was coerced into a pilgrimage.

Ceramic plate with a morose looking Jesus and "Bless this home and all who dwell in it" (or something to that effect) over the bathroom door.

There's a very dark, old painting of Jesus (about A3 sized) in my mother's bedroom. It's a family heirloom so I can't ask her to get rid of it.

Two sets of rosary beads bought when I visited the Vatican City during a whislte stop tour of Rome.

...What did I win?

eyescreamcone

Anybody still wearing those brown "scapula" things??

Please excuse the spelling as it's based on cork accent

Solair

Thinking back on our house, we scored a big NUL POINTS - Zero - 0

eyescreamcone

Solair wrote: »

Thinking back on our house, we scored a big NUL POINTS - Zero - 0

Must be Prods so

Solair

eyescreamcone wrote: »

Must be Prods so

Nah, just good old-fashioned atheists (and nominally catholic if anyone asked any awkward questions in the olden days!)

Back in the 80s, our next-door neighbour (one of those creepy awl-wans who got thrown out of the convent for being too annoying) tried to kidnap us & bring us to a convent to have us baptised!

That's how hostile suburban Dublin was to non-Catholics / non-protestants back in the recent past.

She used to do things like give us crucifixes and cribs!

Oink

[off topic]

Doctor DooM wrote: »

Way to go, MammyDoom!

Had a laugh trying to imagine her avatar: Apocalyptic, in a comforting, motherly fashion.

[/off topic]

robindch

eyescreamcone wrote: »

Anybody still wearing those brown "scapula" things?? Please excuse the spelling as it's based on cork accent

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scapular

Skrynesaver

eyescreamcone wrote: »

Anybody still wearing those brown "scapula" things??

Please excuse the spelling as it's based on cork accent

Ah the brown scapular, I haven't seen one of them for quite a while, comes with a built in iron clad guarantee that the Virgin Mary will deliver those who wear the scapular piously from Purgatory on the first Saturday after their death.

So max 1 week of torture before you get to rejoice in the presence of the lord.

That's a bit mad Ted.

TPD

No points from my parents house when I was growing up, but my grandmothers house would have been a top scorer back in the day. Numerous pictures of Jesus, one with a red light in the shape of a cross. The Mary shrine was inside but facing out a window, so I kinda called that 'outside' for the bonus points. Multiple holy water fonts in use, at every entrance to the building. Rosary beads in every room. A couple of pictures of old JPII, one of princess Diana (?), Padre Pio car sticker and a keychain on the car keys.

There were definitely masses held there, not sure if they were stations though - don't know if that's a Donegal thing.

Subpopulus

I'm either on 15 points or 115, since I can't remember whether we hosted stations or not. I seem to remember the local priest saying to my mother, 'wouldn't it be grand now if the stations were held in the house and ye being there for almost 10 years now?' or something to that effect.

I remember the stations in the neighbors houses, it was all a fairly old-fashioned affair. After the mass was over, all the men went out into the parlour to drink bottled Guinness and smoke with the priest while talking about important political and sporting matters while all the women and children were in the sitting room eating mikados and supping on sherry. Can't remember what the women were talking about, probably discussing ways to keep the husband off of you at night.

Eileen: I gives him a good dig in the ribs when he comes after me and he knows then to stay away from me Maura.
Maura: Ara, I wish I was as bowld as you are, I wouldn't have all of these little feckers around me. Ah would ya look at what he's done now! Spilled TK red lemonade all over the carpet! For the love of God could ya not hold onto it?

Ah, the joys of a rural upbringing.

Hotblack Desiato

Solair wrote: »

Back in the 80s, our next-door neighbour (one of those creepy awl-wans who got thrown out of the convent for being too annoying) tried to kidnap us & bring us to a convent to have us baptised!

Back in the 80s in suburban Dublin, one of our neighbours baptised her heathen grandchild in her kitchen sink...

haulagebasher

I'm on about 120. Her are another few gems that I remember the folks getting on the annual Knock roadtrip: Brown scapulars. I had a friend in college who's mother wouldn't let him leave home withou wearing one, he was 23-24 FFS!!!. Then there's the "Miraculous Medals" - little tiny Mary medallions. What else, oh there was a time when you could get Knock water in small gallons too. As for rosary beads, do you also remember the glow in the dark ones? Someone mentioned the oversize cork/conker beads - do ye remember the huge oversize glow in the dark ones too?

recedite

Skrynesaver wrote: »

Ah the brown scapular, I haven't seen one of them for quite a while, comes with a built in iron clad guarantee that the Virgin Mary will deliver those who wear the scapular piously from Purgatory on the first Saturday after their death.

So max 1 week of torture before you get to rejoice in the presence of the lord.

Only if you refrained from sex at least once in your life (easy enough I suppose) and ate fish on a Wednesday and Saturday (tricky one; Friday fish apparently is only for losers). It's very important to check the small print for these things.

A scapular promise historically known as the Sabbatine privilege, was associated with an apocryphal Papal Bull allegedly by Pope John XXII. It states that through her special intercession, on the Saturday following their death, Mary will personally liberate and deliver the souls of devotees out of Purgatory. The Vatican has denied the validity of this document since 1613 and forbade the Carmelites to preach the Sabbatine privilege, an admonition which they did not always adhere to.At the same time however the Church gave the Carmelites permission to preach that Mary's merits and intercession would help those "who have departed this life in charity, have worn in life the scapular, have ever observed chastity, have recited the Little Hours of the Blessed Virgin, or, if they cannot read, have observed the fast days of the Church, and have abstained from flesh meat on Wednesdays and Saturdays."

Wiki

Thumpette

Brilliant thread, brings back so many happy memories!

I score about 180, possibly more but I cant remember ever having the stations.

Also, the thumpette clan had a fierce devotion to Padro Pio so there was a lot of previously unmentioned medals, plates with the good man himself, massive photos complete with the bleedy hands and at least 2 or 3 statues.

I'm not sure if it counts for this, as I'm not sure it referred specifically to the catholic god, but there was also a massive framed poem about a dude walking on a beach and there being only one set of footprints and yer man was pissed off that god wasn't walking beside him. Was all ok in the end though, god came back and told him 'sure wasn't I carrying you ya eejit!' Yer man felt like a tool then!

When myself and my husband bought a new apartment about 5 years ago (yip the dreaded 2007!) we got no fewer than 4 holy water fonts! Quick trip to the charity shop sorted that though!

(Our child of prague had the head knocked off and glued back on- must have been shoddy workmanship- or a sign!)

gozunda

Was there a general name for religious items associated with a particular saint?

Not relics (that's actual bits of as far as I remember). I am trying to remember the collective noun - any thoughts?

Sarky

"Tat"?

gozunda

Sarky wrote: »

"Tat"?

I believe that has already been established. However this refers to the traditional term used by advocates of this stuff....

Jimoslimos

gozunda wrote: »

Was there a general name for religious items associated with a particular saint?

Not relics (that's actual bits of as far as I remember). I am trying to remember the collective noun - any thoughts?

Icon or artifact perhaps?

indioblack

Was going to post in a similar cynical mocking vein - until it occurred to me that most of my relatives in Ireland were/are equally dismissive of the church until they needed someone burying or baptised or married.

Squ

indioblack wrote: »

Was going to post in a similar cynical mocking vein - until it occurred to me that most of my relatives in Ireland were/are equally dismissive of the church until they needed someone burying or baptised or married.

And then what happened?

indioblack

Squ wrote: »

And then what happened?

Ouch. OK, walked into that one.

pasoprince

Ok so it's not necessarily a household relic but still pretty impressive. My nana bought me a pen in Lourdes (obviously) and if you hold it upside-down and then turn it the right way up, Our Lady descends into the grotto...that has to be worth some points?
And, miraculously, the pen still works even though its about 15 years old. Freaky.