Inappropriate questions or comments

christmas2012

christmas2012 wrote: »

...Ill be honest in ireland every woman becomes mutton at 25 or over,thats just the rule :pac: now theres an inappropriate for ya! :pac:

So you admit it's inappropriate but say it anyway? Smiley faces don't make it ok.

You can keep your generalisations to yourself please.

Thanks

ladylost

Pomplamousse wrote: »

I've also had the whole "cheer up, it might never happen" crap thrown at me a few times, really need to come up with a cutting response in case it happens again:D

This totally wrecks my head too.. I'm having a great night and some muppet will come up and say that so now I just throw them a dirty look and reply it just has! Then I say something like I suppose you thought that's original too and turn my back on them :mad:
I really don't understand how any guy can think it's acceptable to come up and say that...I doubt anyone has ever pulled with that ignorant comment anyway... I'm not a normally smiley person but can't change my face at this stage!!!

it happened to me before from a friend

"ah is it that bad" he said, on seeing my sad face
"yes, my dog died last night"
which was true, i was quite upset

that was the end of that...
any other time i think i might be tempted to start yelling AM I HERE TO F'IN AMUSE YOU?!?!?

LegacyUser

I was refereed to a dermatologist because I developed terrible skin problems when I was pregnant with my second girl.


I was met by the junior trainee doctor who was a power hungry cow and was sitting there ordering nurses in the 40's around the place.She gave me a prescription and off I went.


As I was pregnant they wanted to keep an eye on things so I was called back 2 months later (heavily pregnant) and she said in a room full of doctors and nurses "Oh, I see you are still proceeding with the pregnancy." There was never any suggestion I was not going to have the baby. To this day I am raging I didn't complain.


I am in my early 30's and married but look younger. I think she just took one look at me and thought I was a teenage girl. What was worse was we were probably the same age.

Birdster

I was out one night with work, my friends work in a different department to me so I didn't know this guy that worked with them.

It was the start of the night (nobody was drunk yet!!) he turned to me and asked 'are they real?' eyeing up my boobs while simultaneously lunging and grappling my left boob before I knew what was happening. Well when the 15seconds of shock had passed I slapped him so hard he'd marks on his face Cheeky f*cker!!!

barleybooley

I worked in a pub for years so I got my fair share of comments. Most of the clientele were the most decent people, even at four in the morning but there were those that would make your skin crawl anyway, drunk or not. There was one man that thought it was okay to run his hand along my backside one night and make comments about my breasts to his mates. Thankfully, my boss isn't a moron and ate them for it as did one of the guys that worked there :P There was another who used just sit at the bar and stare and kept trying to get my number from my boss and trying to walk me home, very creepy indeed.

Not inappropriate as such but some of the guys on my course last year were really dismissive of a lot of things I'd say, stuff I knew I was right about and they'd just keep making fun of me, it really got me down because I knew I was right but they'd just gang up on me and then wonder why I got thick with them.

Dolbert

ladylost wrote: »

This totally wrecks my head too.. I'm having a great night and some muppet will come up and say that so now I just throw them a dirty look and reply it just has! Then I say something like I suppose you thought that's original too and turn my back on them :mad:
I really don't understand how any guy can think it's acceptable to come up and say that...I doubt anyone has ever pulled with that ignorant comment anyway... I'm not a normally smiley person but can't change my face at this stage!!!

Ahem

A gem from some drunken arsehole:
'I'm gonna call you Dolly...like Dolly Parton, but without the tits.'
I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that I was probably around a D-cup at the time, or that it was his attempt at chatting me up :rolleyes:

julyjane

I've heard of many people being asked this, after having a new baby that's not their first "are you finished now?" with a smile. Or someone announcing a 3rd or subsequent pregnancy and getting "oh I thought you were finished" or "did you get caught again" FFS mind your own business!

hattoncracker

I'm quite petite, like just under 5 foot, and don't really wear heels too often due to knee problems. I also have big boobs.

"God, you're so small, hattoncracker!"
"Are those real?" *GRAB* :eek:
"Jesus, hattoncracker, your younger sister is engaged! When will I be buying the hat for you?" (I'm 2f**kin5!)

My OH was married when he was very young, like, 19, and they split up a year later. So if it's my mother's catholic friends I have no problem saying "well, my OH's divorced so I'll be converting to a different religion when we get married." You could cut the silence with a knife when I use that one.

The best one ever, and I really have to laugh at this one: I work in retail and a little old man came in one day and wanted to know how to do something with a product that he'd bought from our store so I sat down and went through it with him. He looked at my namebadge, and said 'what's your name.. oh! hattoncracker! What's the other one called?'

x Purple Pawprints x

sambuka41 wrote: »

I have been asked a good few times "are you small enough to be technically considered a midget" :eek::eek: How do you respond to that?? I usually reply with "well if I am then so is Kylie because we are the same height" (4ft 11"):p

I've been asked the exact same things. And I'm the same height as you.

eviltwin wrote: »

Another thing that annoys me is other people who think because I have only had the one boyfriend that I must be secretly regretful that I haven't had lots of sexual partners.

I've gotten this too. :rolleyes:

sambuka41

Jane_LS_88 wrote: »

I've been asked the exact same things. And I'm the same height as you.

One guy actually went on to say that I should claim disability for it, that surely I could get benifits for being a midget :eek:

Yeah. People often ask me weird question/comments. They don't really bother me though. Usually I just laugh.

I've had many creepy comments from customers in the bar I work in but at this stage just ignore them/don't care.


Not at all inappropriate but I ALWAYS get asked what part of Poland/Eastern Europe/The World I'm from. All the time. At work, on nights out, in taxis. People never believe I'm Irish Especially customers at work. I guess the majority of hotel workers in this country do seem to be Eastern European. And then when I tell people I'm Irish they ask what county I'm from because I don't have a Kerry accent :rolleyes:

Ilyana

Lia_lia wrote: »

Not at all inappropriate but I ALWAYS get asked what part of Poland/Eastern Europe/The World I'm from. All the time. At work, on nights out, in taxis. People never believe I'm Irish Especially customers at work. I guess the majority of hotel workers in this country do seem to be Eastern European. And then when I tell people I'm Irish they ask what county I'm from because I don't have a Kerry accent :rolleyes:

I often get this, I'm pretty sallow with dark hair and eyes, so people sometimes can't place my nationality until I speak - even then I don't speak like I'm from the midlands.

One elderly lady asked me if I was Irish, to which I replied 'Yes', and she just said 'Good! :eek:
Another man said it was lovely to be served by an Irish person for a change :rolleyes:
Half of my family isn't Irish, but even if I was 100% Irish I'd still find comments like that quite offensive.

Another time, an older man asked me why I'd pierced my nose, as I'd 'ruined' my 'beautiful face' - talk about a back-handed compliment! :pac:

analucija

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

A woman in work a few years ago (some dozy tw&t on a 'back to work scheme') asked my sister when she was due. I will never forget how upset she was. I'd still like to track that woman down and break her ankles at times.

Stupid cow.

hehehehe

I was asked three times over Christmas when I'm due. First it was an old man in a pub who didn't know me (after my bf earlier that day said that we look like a walrus and a ball of jelly). The other two comments were made by a girl who works for my parents and by my cousin and I see them every six months or so. We went to my home country and I was about half a stone heavier than the last time they saw me. I wasn't insulted but that was a clear sign to go on a diet, especially when even my father commented on my weight.

The funny thing is I was back about month ago, sporting nice bump and the girl that asked me over Christmas was the only one who did not dare to comment this time. My cousin just said "thank god, I was thinking you are getting really fat" after I told him that this time I am pregnant. I was couple of pounds lighter than the previous time, so you really can't win. Btw I was (am) size 12 through all of this.

jaja321

I once went from really long hair to pretty short hair - it was quite a dramatic change, but I loved it. Got lots of 'what did you do that to your hair for?? :eek:' ..

bronte

This isn't really a question or comment so to speak, but a family member qualified for one of those disability parking permits several years ago (had back surgery and can have trouble with mobility) I've noticed that when you park in one of the spots (and display the permit) people stare at the person to see what their disability is. It's so rude!!
If you don't have a really obvious looking reason for needing the permit, people seem to stare accusingly as if you shouldn't be parking there .
Totally obnoxious!

bronte

bronte wrote: »

This isn't really a question or comment so to speak, but a family member qualified for one of those disability parking permits several years ago (had back surgery and can have trouble with mobility) I've noticed that when you park in one of the spots (and display the permit) people stare at the person to see what their disability is. It's so rude!!
If you don't have a really obvious looking reason for needing the permit, people seem to stare accusingly as if you shouldn't be parking there .
Totally obnoxious!

I think this might be slightly explained by people getting angry at people misusing them
I hope...

caprilicious

jaja321 wrote: »

I once went from really long hair to pretty short hair - it was quite a dramatic change, but I loved it. Got lots of 'what did you do that to your hair for?? :eek:' ..

I've had that before. Or the "you're hair was *SO* much nicer long", ye may as well say I look a wreck now! thanks it'll only take 2 years before it grows back :rolleyes:

I had a guy I was on a date ask me at the end of the night "When did you have sex last? I bet it was recently" :eek: WTF?!
First & last date

Lisha

georgos wrote: »

I was met by the junior trainee doctor who was a power hungry cow and was sitting there ordering nurses in the 40's around the place.She gave me a prescription and off I went
As I was pregnant they wanted to keep an eye on things so I was called back 2 months later (heavily pregnant) and she said in a room full of doctors and nurses "Oh, I see you are still proceeding with the pregnancy." There was never any suggestion I was not going to have the baby. To this day I am raging I didn't complain.
I am in my early 30's and married but look younger. I think she just took one look at me and thought I was a teenage girl. What was worse was we were probably the same age.

THat really was bad comment, scary that a doctors's brain could be so turned off:eek:

Da Shins Kelly

Gauge wrote: »

I get the "cheer up love" type comments a lot, but it sometimes extends further to guys (it's always guys) straight up telling me I'm cold, icey, grumpy-looking, etc. Very harsh comments that come out of nowhere! Or they walk right up and tell me to "smile".

It seems to be a very, very common thing that women experience and I find it unforgivably rude. There are few things that annoy me more than when I'm having a good time on a night out and some randomer has to take the time to inform me that I don't actually look like I'm having a good time. Thanks so much for pointing out that my natural facial expression isn't a blatantly happy one. Now I'm going to find it hard not to be self conscious about it for the rest of the night.

As for telling me to smile? Not going to happen. Funnily enough, strangers walking up to me and attempting to dictate what my facial expression should be out of nowhere isn't likely to get a smile out of me.

I've been getting these comments for years now and I still never quite know how to respond when it happens. I just can't understand how so many people don't realise how rude it is to remark on a stranger's face like that.

I've actually gotten this a lot more since arriving in the US. I don't know why, maybe it's because they have a constant need to be overtly pleasant all the time (in shops and restaurants and such, the customer service is extremely enthusiastic, fake smiles included). One incident which sticks out was when I was walking down the street with cousins and some guy standing outside a bar said, 'it wouldn't hurt to smile'. I just stopped and said 'it wouldn't hurt to mind your own business'. He just looked at me blankly and turned away. I don't know what makes people think they should stop and say something like that to someone. First of all, just because someone isn't smiling ecstatically it doesn't mean they're not enjoying themselves. Not everyone has a smile on their face every second of the day. Secondly, what if you said that to someone who was genuinely upset about something? Thirdly, stop telling strangers what to do or passing comment on them or their appearance. And being drunk doesn't excuse it.

bronte

bluewolf wrote: »

I think this might be slightly explained by people getting angry at people misusing them
I hope...

You're quite right Blue. It's just many people have difficulties that aren't plainly obvious and I would have expected that others with disability permits would be sensitive to this. Clearly not!

hollyday

So many of the comments here are hilarious and would make you wonder about some people :rolleyes:

I was born in November so I was nearly 5 when I started school. When I was about 10 or 11 my babysitter (who was about 17) told my mom that I would be too old to go to college when I was finished school as I'd be going on 19. I think back on that now (BA in hand!) and think WTF!!!!!!!!!!!

I also always get that 'Smile will ya' from strangers, so annoying!

Scarinae

^ What? I was 19 starting college because my birthday is in August, I don't see what the problem with that is? Sure, there were a lot of 17/18 year olds but it doesn't really matter how old you are once you get to that age.

helimachoptor

Most inapproriate comment by a guy.. "what type of cancer did you have?" I was 22 and bald as a new born:D

Most inappropriate comment by a girl "you'd need to earn €XXX for me to go out with you" :eek:

Kimia

helimachoptor wrote: »

Most inapproriate comment by a guy.. "what type of cancer did you have?" I was 22 and bald as a new born:D

Most inappropriate comment by a girl "you'd need to earn €XXX for me to go out with you" :eek:

You should have responded 'and you need to be a nice person for me to go out with you' :pac:

Women like that give all of us a bad name!

And as for the other guy :mad:

homemadecider

I have had several encounters with people who asked if the curtains matched the drapes as I'm a redhead. I offered to pull down my pants and show them a few times and that shut them up!

SusieBlue

"Its for the best" , "You must be so relieved", "You'll have more babies when your older" and "This is God's way of telling you your not ready".

All from various people when I miscarried at 22 weeks pregnant last year, just because the baby wasn't planned.

Some people were born tactless.

caprilicious

Sorry for your loss WhiteRoses, what horrible insensitive comments

Acacia

Since I've gained weight, it's usually been utterly stupid questions or comments around that, ranging from patronising "You should be happy with your body- you're a curvy, 'real' woman" to the downright insulting "So when are you going to lose a few pounds?"

I've also had stpuid questions/remarks about the music I listen to (metal/rock)- "So, are you all like depressed when you go to those gigs?", or "Does everyone who listens to that music cut themselves?":rolleyes: Although, as moronic as these comments are, there not so much about me as the weight thing, so I don't take it as personally.

This thread affirms for me more than ever that some people are just total idiots.

Oh , also, how could I forgot... a certain guy in the group I hang out with, always, always has to comment on my boobs ( how nice they are and what he would like to do to them) whenever we're out and he's drunk. He says it to me in front of my boyfriend, in big groups of people, when we're alone and in front of his girlfriend (!) and never seems to be embarrassed by his behavior. I just try to block it out at this stage. But yeah, it's totally inappropriate.

ToxicPaddy

helimachoptor wrote: »

Most inappropriate comment by a girl "you'd need to earn €XXX for me to go out with you" :eek:

Had that before, my response, "sorry I'm not willing to take a paycut especially for a girl with a face like yours".. shut her up fairly quickly I tell ya!!

kerash

My aunt to my sister after she coloured her hair back to black from green (which was fab on her) 'Oh you look much better now, oh I didn't like that other colour, oh you're far better now, don't change that now'.
FFS she knew she loved the green hair, just keep it zipped. jeez.

Last time I was in the hairdresser I had a brown dye put in and the hairdresser says 'what colour was it before?' Me; 'Red' Her: 'Oh NEVER dye it red again, because you have a big red face and it looks bad'.
Well if I hadn't the hair dyed at that stage I'd have asked for the reddest colour she had, after that comment.

Ah_Yeah

I'm single, and my male manager said to me at lunch the other day (in front of everyone else in my team who are all married/in a relationship/expecting babies, and all females):

"Do you have any hobbies or do anything at weekends that would help you to meet a man? Other than smoking cigarettes, that is".

christmas2012

Re to the poster above i know that can sound a little insensitive but in his mind he probably thought he was helping i know :eek:

Ah_Yeah

christmas2012 wrote: »

Re to the poster above i know that can sound a little insensitive but in his mind he probably thought he was helping i know :eek:

Haha I know, the funny thing is we weren't even talking about relationships! :eek:

And I'm only 22

Giselle

I'm a small and slight build.

When I was about fifteen a shop assistant asked me if my mother was a boozer or smoker when she was expecting me:(

Blush_01

Honey-ec wrote: »

So many people asked me if I was getting my hair cut after I got married. I was like "Whuh?" Mentioned it to my hairdresser and she was like "Ah yeah, the Married Bob. Loads of women do it." Apparently cutting off your "scoring hair" is extremely common once you get married...

Sad, sad, sad. Like, is the act of marriage itself not symbolic enough? Women somehow feel the need to cut their hair to show their husbands that they no longer feel the need to appear attractive to other men? Or something?

Is there not an element of brides-to-be growing their hair so they have enough for a proper up-do in advance of the wedding, regardless of what their usual hairstyle or hair length would be? Perhaps that's where the haircut assumption comes from in part too. (Just sayin'...)

boomkatalog

People are so tactless! :eek:

I've been asked if I have an eating disorder by my brothers friends in school, am I anaemic (I get asked that a LOT, I'm just pale!!!), I dye my hair a lot and every time I've dyed it a new colour every tom dick and harry feels the need to tell me which colours 'washed me out' and which were nicer and more normal :rolleyes: did I ask? No!

My best friend told me about a week ago that when she gets married, she'll want me to be a bridesmaid. But I'm not invited to the wedding if I don't wear tan. Wtf!?? I never wear tan, I have no intention of doing it to please anyone else either!

I find some of my female friends ask me very personal questions, and while I'm a fairly open person, I don't think they're the kind of questions you should ask someone: how much money you make, bra size, was asked recently if I had whitened my teeth. Is nothing private anymore?

Dolbert

boomkatalog wrote: »

My best friend told me about a week ago that when she gets married, she'll want me to be a bridesmaid. But I'm not invited to the wedding if I don't wear tan. Wtf!?? I never wear tan, I have no intention of doing it to please anyone else either!

What the actual fúck

boomkatalog

I think the issue with the tan is her own issue, her father said to her recently that she looked a disgrace in that orange muck and why couldn't she look more natural like that friend of hers.

Think he hit a nerve, and that's why she said it. Only thing I can think of because it reeks of crazy!

candy-gal1

Dolorous wrote: »

What the actual fúck

+1 there

I got asked the same thing when I was bridesmaid earlier this year, but i stood my ground and said " look, i hate fake tan, brown makeup or anything like it, it looks terrible on me and since my Debs i promised myself i would never do it again, Il wear and do my hair however you want but FFS no fake tan!"
Got out of that one so and tbh i felt great in myself on the day, i never ever understand the obsession some/a lot of girls have with smearing brown muck all over themselves to avoid looking "too white"
Ive never seen so far in my life someone who looks better with tan than not tbh.

boomkatalog

I don't have a problem with tan, when its done tastefully, but very few people seem to understand that I'm happy being pale . I'm finally old enough to appreciate my unique traits, why is it so hard to understand that a young woman might actually be comfortable in her own skin? :rolleyes:

x Purple Pawprints x

Dear God the amount of responses to this thread is shocking but it's unbelieveable how stupid people can be! :eek:

ashes79

The tan comment reminded me of another, my sis told me when she gets married she expects me to go on a diet til I'm a size 8. I was a 12 at the time. She doesn't want me to look weird(!?) in the photos.

Gunslinger92

I've been asked where I'm from, it went like something like "Where are you from, it's just.. your accent... urgh"

I have not spoken to that cow since.

I've been asked something very, very personal about my sex life, granted it was a drunk fella who is a friend of my boyfriend and I... but still :eek:

Syndic

My height always gets commented on, usually by men shorter than me!

Being told my height is "intimidating" is pretty standard and I'm used to it but recently a guy comes up to me on a night out and said "You're stunning but before I start to chat you up can you just say a few words to reassure me you're not a drag queen!":eek:

I wasn't too offended but it just makes you realise how cheeky people can be!

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

Ilyana

ashes79 wrote: »

The tan comment reminded me of another, my sis told me when she gets married she expects me to go on a diet til I'm a size 8. I was a 12 at the time. She doesn't want me to look weird(!?) in the photos.

Dafuq?

It is beyond me how people think it's okay to make such remarks.

Eve_Dublin

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Spanish can be shockingly blunt a fair bit but one comment that really gets to me is, "Your Irish...does that mean you hate the English?" because of a) the frequency of it and b) what kind of crazy small talk question is that to ask a person you've just met and don't know from adam anyway? They're basically asking me straight out am I bigot. I can't imagine they'd ask other nationalities something similar....seems like a bit of a joke among some.

I also work in an office and every time I pass by reception, the guy shouts at me, "Long live Ireland! English out!!". Jesus Christ like....

Can't STAND that. I think they do it to show off that they know a bit of history but it just makes them look like braindead morons. As if every person in Ireland hates every person in England because of something that happened in the past. I just reply, "no I don't hate the English, as my mother is English and I was born in England so your anti-Brit sentiments are actually really insulting to me and a lot of the people I love." Usually shuts them up pretty quickly.

Tombi!

I'm a man and when I was about 19 I was at a house party. Now I was never one to start chatting up girls or anything really.
So I was there and a girl comes up to me and starts talking. Now I'm fine with this and we're talking and she goes to kiss me.
This is at about 1AM so we all had a bit to drink. I stopped her since I had no idea how drunk she was. She headed off and that was that. She starts talking to this other girl and the other girl has to carefully sit her down because the first girl (the one that i didn't kiss) was actually really drunk.

Her friend then came over (who seemed fairly sober) and demanded to know why I would turn down the chance to meet/shift this lovely lady. So I told her exactly why, I thought she was too drunk and didn't want to to touch her or anyone really when they're that drunk.

Shocked by this the nice fairly sober woman asked me (exact words): are you some kind of f**king fag**t that you don't want to meet some girl?

Then she stormed off. It took me a good 20 seconds to realize what just happened and I'm honestly bewildered to how she got that I could be gay because I didn't want to kiss a person that was barely standing.

That's not really the worse thing I've been told but I that story sort of fits in with the theme of the thread.

helimachoptor

Syndic wrote: »

My height always gets commented on, usually by men shorter than me!

Being told my height is "intimidating" is pretty standard and I'm used to it but recently a guy comes up to me on a night out and said "You're stunning but before I start to chat you up can you just say a few words to reassure me you're not a drag queen!":eek:

I wasn't too offended but it just makes you realise how cheeky people can be!

I was chatting to a friend about this, my OH is about 5'8,i'm 5'11 so with heels she's just slightly shorter than me.

However.. It wouldnt bother me at all if she was taller (in heels or not) I dont see the issue