Are you happy or sad you live in the era of bullsh!t?

ThinkAboutIt

Gone are the days where you say you're just "ok" at something or "can do the job" it's all amazing this, fantastic that, best worker ever. Got to be hugely ambitious not just "working for money" being hugely ambitious to "work for more money"

I just read a job spec for a leaflet job, which read 'must have leaflet distribution experience.' A debt collecter these days is called a "Financial Reporting Agent."

Are you sad that you have to use all these buzz words to get a job rather than tell the truth saying that you're a good worker but 'not the most amazing business man/woman in the world' which can never be proven anyway.

It's all a load of bullsh!t :pac:

Pushtrak

Thread of bullsh!t.

lifelongnoob

Recruitment Consultants guys are some of the lowest form of pond scum sales people you can find. they always use crappy buzzwords to try and make the fake jobs they advertise sound good so you send in a c.v. that they keep on their servers with your details on it that they sell on to marketing people so u get more spam, and junkmail sent to you.

Jester252

nobody will go for them jobs if the truth was told

DavyD_83

Does sometimes (very often) seem like the guy who is furthest up his own hole will get the job

LincolnsBeard

Better than living in the era where you were automatically factory fodder if you were from a working class family.

mikom

LincolnsBeard wrote: »

Better than living in the era where you were automatically factory fodder if you were from a working class family.

You're right, they have interns for that kinda job now..........

aidan24326

'Must have leaflet distribution experience'. How could you even write that in a job spec with a straight face?

It makes me wonder though, what happened to the days of simply being a good honest worker who shows up on time and gets the job done? In reality that's still what's needed and what most companies want for the majority of positions, unless it's something very skilled or highly specialised.

Most of the buzzwords in job specs actually have little relevance to the actual job but yet you have to sit in front of some HR/Recruitment gobsh1te and trot out a load of guff that sits well with whatever silly checklist they're using. When it's the hiring manager who will make the decision anyway (and who may or may not buy into that stuff - hopefully not).

charlemont

lifelongnoob wrote: »

Recruitment Consultants guys are some of the lowest form of pond scum sales people you can find. they always use crappy buzzwords to try and make the fake jobs they advertise sound good so you send in a c.v. that they keep on their servers with your details on it that they sell on to marketing people so u get more spam, and junkmail sent to you.

Leeches and middlemen is all they are, Parasites.

krudler

Toilet attendant required, must have toiletry distribution experience, 5 years minimum, micro management and multitasking essential. 13 stage interview required.

christmas2012

job titles can be absolute bull**** yeah,and the way they expect you to waffle on is bull****

Tombi!

Ah sure you just go through the retarded and outdated education system, go to college, get told "fúck off to another country and get experience and then come home and work".

It's a great life.

Sleepy

It's because the girls in HR are the ones that weren't pretty or connected enough to get jobs in PR or marketing.

They're usually the ones that failed accounting or economics in the first year of their business degree because figuring out earnings before interest, taxation and profit was too difficult to work out if the question deviated in any way from the ones they'd done in class.

I share a degree with many of these morons and hated them during my time in college. They were the reason the B.Comm spend 3 years covering a year's worth of material in scant or little detail and with next to zero critical analysis of any of the concepts or ideologies on the courses. They're the proof that not everyone is suited to university level education and thirty years ago would simply have done secretarial courses or gotten jobs in the local factory.

(I realise I've written the post as if all those I'm speaking of are female, they're not in the slightest, plenty of guys out there who are just as guilty of all the above, HR just tends to be more dominantly female).

Micky Dolenz

I'd have rather lived in era of the dinosaur. That'd be well cool.

Sea Filly

lifelongnoob wrote: »

Recruitment Consultants guys are some of the lowest form of pond scum sales people you can find. they always use crappy buzzwords to try and make the fake jobs they advertise sound good so you send in a c.v. that they keep on their servers with your details on it that they sell on to marketing people so u get more spam, and junkmail sent to you.

+ 1

One slime once said to me in our first meeting "Don't prostitute yourself around to other agencies".

Call me uptight, but I don't want someone saying that to me 10 minutes after we've met! :eek:

aidan24326

Sea Filly wrote: »

+ 1

One slime once said to me in our first meeting "Don't prostitute yourself around to other agencies".

Call me uptight, but I don't want someone saying that to me 10 minutes after we've met! :eek:

The wording was a bit inappropriate alright! Not to mention the fact that it's none of his business what other agencies you do or don't deal with.

Gurgle

Sea Filly wrote: »

One slime once said to me in our first meeting "Don't prostitute yourself around to other agencies".

... I'm your only pimp, bitch!

lifelongnoob

the good news is that most employer's are starting to cop on to how crap Recruitment agencies are... the sad bit is now they just get free interns to do the work

Stiffler2

It's not too bad OP, you just have to amend your cv to reflect the marketplace.


currently I'm a nasa engineer with moon experience

kart

Asking experience in the kind of jobs that need absolutely no experience at all is ridiculous. I am working in a job where experience was needed, yet we are getting full training and the length of it is same for experienced and non-experienced as every company uses different systems. So it really is just a bull**** to ask for experience when it is clearly not needed.

Or to ask for really long experience in things that would do as well with less. Lately i heard ad in radio saying, deli assistant needed, 3-5 years experience. I have worked in supermarkets and shops before and occasionally had do do that part as well. there is nothing in there that a person with 3 years experience would do better than a one with 2 month experience.

Its all down to ur will to work.
Same with leaflet distribution. Anyone with will can do it. Nothing to do with experience. These things really are bull****.

Or door-to-door jobs that advertise asking for experience in it. The hell.

token101

Asking for experience is just like asking for someone that will stick out the job for more than 5 minutes and won't just quit the first morning. 'Lower' skilled jobs attract such a volume of applications that experience is way of vetting totally speculative applications.

And recruitment agencies are growing, employers are copping on that hiring can be a lot of hassle and paying someone else to do it is a lot less of a headache.

Gurgle

Stiffler2 wrote: »

currently I'm a nasa engineer with moon experience

Stiffler2?, Yes I clearly recall going on several trips to the moon with him. Perfect choice Mr Branson.

(Always have someone to back up your story)

Biggins

ThinkAboutIt wrote: »

...I just read a job spec for a leaflet job, which read 'must have leaflet distribution experience.' A debt collecter these days is called a "Financial Reporting Agent."

Are you sad that you have to use all these buzz words to get a job rather than tell the truth saying that you're a good worker but 'not the most amazing business man/woman in the world' which can never be proven anyway.

It's all a load of bullsh!t :pac:

Try applying for an 'Optical Cleansing Assistant'.

(a window-cleaner)

Tell them you have loads of ladders!

JustAddWater

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

I'd have rather lived in era of the dinosaur. That'd be well cool.

Previous experience with flux capacitor distribution essential

Micky Dolenz

Biggins wrote: »

Try applying for an 'Optical Cleansing Assistant'.

(a window-cleaner)

Tell them you have loads of ladders!

I hear the work is very up and down.

lifelongnoob

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

I hear the work is very up and down.

careful or you might end up rubbing them up the wrong way

forfuxsake

Antique Mirror Polisher - Now there's a job I could see myself doing.

Micky Dolenz

antique knob polisher- Prostitute who works at an old folks home :P

lifelongnoob

chicken sexer - must have keen eyesight and good knowledge of fowl genitalia, now i wonder if being a gynacologist is considered over qualified???

BillyMitchel

I applied for a bin man job once. The manager told me it was easy that no training would be provided that I'll pick it up as I go along..

Hercule Poirot

Spent 18 months unemployed after college, realised (through a friend) that I was being too honest. When asked to describe myself I would use phrases like"nothing spectacular, a decent, honest hard worker" - failed 9 interviews from phrases such as that one. When I started using "excellent analytical skills, great at organising duties, etc, etc." I felt like such a fraud but feck it, I've been working for three years now. Although I'm worried they might find me out soon!

ThinkAboutIt

Hercule Poirot wrote: »

Spent 18 months unemployed after college, realised (through a friend) that I was being too honest. When asked to describe myself I would use phrases like"nothing spectacular, a decent, honest hard worker" - failed 9 interviews from phrases such as that one. When I started using "excellent analytical skills, great at organising duties, etc, etc." I felt like such a fraud but feck it, I've been working for three years now. Although I'm worried they might find me out soon!

THAT'S MY POINT!! People can't be honest these days, the bloke who uses the fanciest word usually gets the job, and he may not deserve it over the 'honest' people.

Hercule Poirot

ThinkAboutIt wrote: »

THAT'S MY POINT!! People can't be honest these days, the bloke who uses the fanciest word usually gets the job, and he may not deserve it over the 'honest' people.

From a purely business perspective they want ambitious people, unlike myself, who want to run the place later on down the line, people who want to climb the ladder ASAP. Then they can set all these employees against each other and the winner is gennerally the one who is brazen enough and ballsy enough to get to the top.

P.S. Words like "synergy" make me weep at the society in which I live

DavyD_83

Hercule Poirot wrote: »

From a purely business perspective they want ambitious people, unlike myself, who want to run the place later on down the line, people who want to climb the ladder ASAP. Then they can set all these employees against each other and the winner is gennerally the one who is brazen enough and ballsy enough to get to the top.

P.S. Words like "synergy" make me weep at the society in which I live

We used to have a guy who's favourite word was 'Synergize', with an associated joining hand gesture.
What a tool!

Micky Dolenz

BillyMitchel wrote: »

I applied for a bin man job once. The manager told me it was easy that no training would be provided that I'll pick it up as I go along..

Thats rubbish.

seachto7

DavyD_83 wrote: »

We used to have a guy who's favourite word was 'Synergize', with an associated joining hand gesture.
What a tool!

worked for some people like that, who used "buzzwords" as if it changed folks opinions on them.....:mad::mad::mad: Detest! Speak plain English!!!

lifelongnoob

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Thats rubbish.

yet another re-cycled smart assed answer

ejmaztec

lifelongnoob wrote: »

yet another re-cycled smart assed answer

I refuse to take any notice of them.

starlit

Yes and no but happy enough to be in this era I guess.

Capt'n Midnight

Hercule Poirot wrote: »

From a purely business perspective they want ambitious people, unlike myself, who want to run the place later on down the line, people who want to climb the ladder ASAP. Then they can set all these employees against each other and the winner is gennerally the one who is brazen enough and ballsy enough to get to the top.

Why do they want to hire people who could replace them ?

How many places advertise for a 'self starter' for marketing or other roles where the skipping off to another company or setting up one with a list of customers they've built a relationship with is their most useful asset

the groutch

DavyD_83 wrote: »

Does sometimes (very often) seem like the guy who is furthest up his own the interviewer's hole will get the job

fyp

dd972

krudler wrote: »

Toilet attendant required, must have toiletry distribution experience, 5 years minimum, micro management and multitasking essential. 13 stage interview required.

Don't forget the personality questionnaire and two sets of internet based psychometric testing or the face to face interview ( if you get that far, where your're expected to give instant off the cuff responses to all mannet of outlandish questions), and the four week gap until you get an email stating other applicants were better matched for the role.

amacca

Stiffler2 wrote: »

It's not too bad OP, you just have to amend your cv to reflect the marketplace.


currently I'm a nasa engineer with moon experience

I'm a flasher.............

I also have lots of moon experience but cant get a job


what is a nude boy to do!

TheBegotten

This thread title sounds like a Green Day song...*Gets out writing pad*

bnt

aidan24326 wrote: »

It makes me wonder though, what happened to the days of simply being a good honest worker who shows up on time and gets the job done? In reality that's still what's needed and what most companies want for the majority of positions, unless it's something very skilled or highly specialised.

The way I see it, advertising a job today is a numbers game. Make the job spec too loose, you get too many applications. Sorting through all of those takes time, so you have to do something to reduce the number of applications. "Solution": add more requirements to the job spec.

I'm seeing job specs today that look like Christmas trees, with so many extra requirements added on that you have to wonder if they'll get any responses at all. This is where recruitment consultants should be putting their foot down, telling their clients that they're taking the piss, instead of just accepting what they're told. But no, it seems like the main function of recruitment consultants and HR departments today is to find reasons to keep people out of jobs they probably could do, if allowed just a little time required to adapt to specific systems or procedures used in that company. The myth of the "self-starter" is too strong these days.

risteard7

Yea and the stupid interview questions "where do yo see yourself in ten years" wtf? I want a job to earn a living i couldnt give a **** about the company. cut out the bullsh1t have i got the job yes or no

Micky Dolenz

risteard7 wrote: »

Yea and the stupid interview questions "where do yo see yourself in ten years" wtf? I want a job to earn a living i couldnt give a **** about the company. cut out the bullsh1t have i got the job yes or no

Erm, no. Thanks for coming in any way.

bnt

risteard7 wrote: »

Yea and the stupid interview questions "where do yo see yourself in ten years" wtf? I want a job to earn a living i couldnt give a **** about the company. cut out the bullsh1t have i got the job yes or no

I had a job interview yesterday, and thankfully that bloody question never came up. which might help to explain why I got the offer today. It could have been very different had I been inspired to answer as that question makes me want to: "in ten years time I'll be running this whole company from my private LearJet, and you'll be out on the street giving BJs for spare change so you can afford your next bottle of Buckfast".

starlit

From a job hunt point of view its a cac era. A lot of hype and as mentioned in the title.

A lot of second guessing really what interviewers and employers want.

Its hard to know there are some ads for jobs that are genuine but there are the few that aren't.

saintsaltynuts

Sandwich Artist in Subway always gave me a giggle.

Naomi00

Someone told me they saw an ad for a hotel dishwasher which needed at least 3 years experience. :rolleyes: