Farting!

skinny90

ya always like your own brand

Ellis Dee

The wind of the stomach it comes from the heart
and ignorant people call it a fart.:)

"Better out than your eye", an old aunt of mine always used to say.;);)

I rarely let one rip in public. It's much more fun to squeeze out a silent but deadly one and look straight ahead, completely expressionless, as everyone else around wrinkles their nose and tries to figure out who has "cut their finger".:rolleyes::rolleyes:

Lifts in tall buildings are a great place for that.:D:D

Of course, that guy that supposedly farted in public in Dublin may only have been playing with a "Pooter":

MadYaker

blue note

I can be terrible for them to be honest. When drinking sometimes I just think "Ah sure it will be grand". And they're usually quiet to be fair, but they are foul! Some have been stomach churning.

Or if I'm sure it's going to be a silent and odourless one I'll just let it out. The only problem here is if I have earphones in I sometimes wonder have these actually been audible and I just think they're silent?

In front of the girlfriend I try to avoid it, but sometimes it just has to be done. The "I thought it was going to be silent" or "I didn't think it would smell" excuses really don't work.

Son Of A Vidic

vicwatson wrote: »

Women don't fart, they cough in their knickers

Rubbish, this is what I have to endure nearly everyday.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pe1SjJuUulo

Real Life

my friend can make himself fart whenever he wants. when we were in 6th year he used to make himself fart in one of the classes all the time, eventually the teacher got sick of it and kicked him out. he had no maths teacher for the last few months because of his farting.

Shane-KornSpace

I always fart in public. No shame. Why should I have any? If we weren't meant to fart, then we wouldnt do it at all.

castletownman

Years ago we had our first assembly of the year after coming back from summer holidays. Second year it could have been. Anyway, the whole year was gathered in the school's oratory and I was bursting for a fart but happened to unleash the viliest, loudest and longest one I ever did in public, right at a time when the whole room was silent (similar to the fart during the interview in Step Brothers). I rather nonchantly blamed it on my best friend who was sitting directly beside me.

He got the blame and a look of disguist from all the girls in the year for ages. It was hilarious.

Mickey Dazzler

You should count yourself lucky that he didn't pin you down, squat over your face and fart or worse still take a dump on you. Ive seen it happen.

BUBBLE WRAP

Mickey Dazzler wrote: »

You should count yourself lucky that he didn't pin you down, squat over your face and fart or worse still take a dump on you. Ive seen it happen.

Did you partake in these outrages shenanigans? :eek:

boobar

ElleEm wrote: »

I was standing in a shop earlier and some guy let the loudest fart, and didn't show any remorse for it. He wasn't one tiny bit embarrassed!! He could've held it in and done it out of ear (and nose!) shot of others.

I never fart in front of anyone, although my boyfriend says I let rip something fierce when I'm asleep

I just think farting is an unnecessary thing to share with others.
Do you fart in front of others? Whether it's strangers on the bus, or your partner?

A guy at work farted in front of me today and then said excuse me, that was weird.

Mickey Dazzler

BUBBLE WRAP wrote: »

Did you partake in these outrages shenanigans? :eek:

I was walking home from the boozer in the early hours when I was accosted by my cousin and his rowdy mates. They pinned me to the ground and the lad with the hairiest arse dropped his bags and straddled me. I was screaming and writhing in horror as he lowered himself down on my face. It ended up with my nose nestled in the checks of his arse when he farted to cheers of his friends.

I still wake up in the middle of the night in a pool of my own piss when I have nightmares about that night.

boobar

Mickey Dazzler wrote: »

You should count yourself lucky that he didn't pin you down, squat over your face and fart or worse still take a dump on you. Ive seen it happen.

In Oz

emul8ter25

boobar wrote: »

Mickey Dazzler wrote: »

You should count yourself lucky that he didn't pin you down, squat over your face and fart or worse still take a dump on you. Ive seen it happen.

In Oz

Reminds me of the time I slept on a mates couch. I woke up to see his ass right in my face, underwear on, and he let rip.

I waited until he fell asleep and returned the favor, only bare assed and I sat on his nose.

Aidric

Nothing wrong with letting one rip in open spaces, quite funny actually.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWgfkSoMHA0

Gummy Panda

Captain Darling wrote: »

Clean out your spanx honey. Sometimes a man has gotten to unload one primed in the chamber.

I was passing through Lucan the other day on the way into town on important company business. Felt like i was going to be caught short so headed into Courtneys to use the well appointed facilities in there.

Nodded to Magda, the cleaner, on the way in and headed straight to stall number one in the gents. Sat down, squeezed off a solid coil off the back board, thick and tubular, no follow through. Grade A bowel movement to be fair.

Mid squeeze, there was a commotion outside and i heard someone burst into stall number two which was followed by a series of farts that could be heard out in the lounge i'd wager. Fcuking fent off it would strip varnish.

I cleaned the towel holder and pulled up my kacks, gave Magda a two euro tip and directed her to the 'war zone' when i was on the way out...

Are you Flutt's love child, here to instruct us in the movement of the bowels?

Captain Darling

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Captain Darling wrote: »

Clean out your spanx honey. Sometimes a man has gotten to unload one primed in the chamber.

I was passing through Lucan the other day on the way into town on important company business. Felt like i was going to be caught short so headed into Courtneys to use the well appointed facilities in there.

Nodded to Magda, the cleaner, on the way in and headed straight to stall number one in the gents. Sat down, squeezed off a solid coil off the back board, thick and tubular, no follow through. Grade A bowel movement to be fair.

Mid squeeze, there was a commotion outside and i heard someone burst into stall number two which was followed by a series of farts that could be heard out in the lounge i'd wager. Fcuking fent off it would strip varnish.

I cleaned the towel holder and pulled up my kacks, gave Magda a two euro tip and directed her to the 'war zone' when i was on the way out...

Are you Flutt's love child, here to instruct us in the movement of the bowels?

More of a homage to the great man...