Anti-women threads in AH

efb

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

Ah jaysus....

yes?

Tombi!

Sea Filly wrote: »

Dudess?

Nope, just had a look back at your MANY previous posts on the subject. (God bless the search facility) You put WAY too much effort into "proving" why Irish women are so much more unattractive than other nationalities. It's kinda odd, TBH. Why would you put so much consideration into it?

Oh, and going by your logic, I guess Irish men are swampdonkeys too?

Well given that he has a grudge against Dudess and he doesn't like Irish women, she must have said no to him.

efb wrote: »

yes?

I think it was the fact she (hopefully) isn't on the boards and doesn't know the OP's account.

But in either case you have a cracking point. I've been lurking since about 5 years or longer :P

hondasam

efb wrote: »

did you not think it was offensive to the OP's housemate, or does that matter?

What are the chances the story was true?
Do you think it was true or just the OP out to have a laugh not realising how offensive it might be to women or to people in general?

Scioch

Your Text Here wrote: »

Yeah, I get what you're saying about the personal experiences behind the posts. However, I'm not "upset" about what these people are saying though - I don't think any of the women and men posting in here who are against these threads are actually personally affected by these insults. They're annoying and unfair, not upsetting.

I'd understand that and I have no issue with anyone airing that view, but realistically I dont think anything can or should be done. Someone will always be annoyed about something and think it unfair. There's a big difference between being insulted and feeling insulted. In this case I think its just the latter and as such its just another one for the "what annoys you about boards" thread.

Daveysil15

PrincessLola wrote: »

But NO ONE ever posts such a thing. Because men's appearances have never been held to the same scrutiny as women's.

That's ridiculous. Men's appearance does get put under scrutiny too. There's just as much pressure on men to look good and they do get judged on their looks.

PrincessLola wrote: »

I wasn't calling all the men neckbeards, I was calling the misogynistic ones neckbeards.

Why bother calling anyone neckbeards? You're only adding fuel to the fire.

Fr_Dougal

efb wrote: »

yes?

No matter what you post, someone; somewhere will take offence to it. Who honestly gives a crap about that dudes flatmate?! Chances are she doesn't even exist as is the case with many of the interesting stories in AH.

I honestly think people need to chill the fcuk out, if someone posts something misogynistic or misandric then report the post or call them out on thread. Banning all discussion on subjects or dictating what people can say or think is retarded. It's a discussion forum after all. A while ago there were a couple of posters that had issues with women but I think they've either moved on or been pushed on.

What next? Ban people criticising the church? Pubs that charge too much? People that don't like skinny jeans?

Owen_S

If you think this place is anti-women, you have a very sheltered internet experience, most high-traffic forums are far worse than this.

Tombi!

Daveysil15 wrote: »

That's ridiculous. Men's appearance does get put under scrutiny too. There's just as much pressure on men to look good and they do get judged on their looks.

I actually think guys have it a tad worse. I mean women are usually accepted of all sizes (unless they're really dangerously fat and man are the same) but while women are able to spalsh on makeup and stuff, men are usually portrayed as the ideal muscle man.

A woman can still be considered gorgeous if she's a bit chubby or even fat. A man on the other hand is pretty much expected to look like arnie during his Terminator days or at least that would be the image put out there. Not to mention the macho culture is very much alive.

I'm not fond of the idea that I'm expected to fight some guy for calling a girl fat that I'm dating. But hey, that's how the media portrays us.

Scioch

efb wrote: »

did you not think it was offensive to the OP's housemate, or does that matter?

Yeah I suppose it was offensive to the OP's housemate and it wouldnt be particularly nice for her to hear it. But you get that daily here about a lot of people. And its just the OP's opinion, rather crudely put.

Outlawing stuff because it may be offensive to people outside boards would be one hell of a job.

Seren_

PrincessLola wrote: »

Some of us have had to deal with insults like this in real life from abusive family members.
Your experience isn't the same as mine or anyone elses.

I'm sorry about that. I didn't word that bit right, obviously I know that not everyone will have the same reaction to me.

Abdul Abulbul Amir wrote: »

I don't know about the first two points, but on the third: are you so sure? I don't think you realise how much more difficult dating/scoring is for guys than for girls. Women, even fairly unattractive women, will in my experience not go single for very long. I've known many guys to go for long stretches single, and not voluntarily either. It's only worse for unattractive men, or smaller men.

Now that's fine and all, women are entitled to make whatever choices they want with guys, but to say there's no pressure regarding looks on men is incorrect. And I'd argue that it actually leads to worse outcomes in men.

I really don't agree with you here. What you're saying is a huge generalisation - how is it so much easier for a women to get a man/woman than a man? I could use examples of the experiences of some people to totally flip your hypothesis on its head, but it's not relevant. Why does that make any difference to how people treat those of other genders?

Madam_X

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Men's appearance does get put under scrutiny too.

It does indeed.

There's just as much pressure on men to look good

There really, really isn't.

and they do get judged on their looks.

They do indeed.

Raekwon

Sea Filly wrote: »

Dudess?

Nope, just had a look back at your MANY previous posts on the subject. (God bless the search facility) You put WWWWAAAAAY too much effort into "proving" why Irish women are so much more unattractive than other nationalities. It's kinda odd, TBH. Why would you put so much consideration into it?

Oh, and going by your logic, I guess Irish men are swampdonkeys too?

Are you stalking me? That's not creepy at all in fact I'm actually quite flattered.

Yes, as a nation (that's both male & female in case you need further clarification) we don't compare well to other nations where looks are concerned. I thought that was pretty much common knowledge at this stage?

By the way I wouldn't go as far as calling people names on a public forum, that just reeks of immaturity.

Tombi!

Onixx wrote: »

It does indeed.

There really, really isn't.

They do indeed.

But it can be more dangerous. Think about it.
Women have what... to just splash on make up and most guys are happy. (which in fairness it is true). I'm not going to meet you and a few months later say "hey, you were 12 stone when we met but get down to 10 stone or I'll dump you".

Men are still bombarded the idiotic notions of "fight for x" and it gets to the point when you wonder "I'm fighitng because it's expected". And it takes two people. So it's not exactly a "see you, I'm not fighting you" kinda thing.

I suppose it's somewhat (thankfully) rare but it still happens.

Sea Filly

Raekwon wrote: »

Are you stalking me? That's not creepy at all in fact I'm actually quite flattered.

Well, accusing one poster of being another is fairly creepy. I just did a quick search out of curiosity as your post had a strange doggedness to it. If you're putting that much effort in, perhaps you should a PhD thesis on the subject.

Raekwon wrote: »

.Yes, as a nation (that's both male & female in case you need further clarification) we don't compare well to other nations where looks are concerned. I thought that was pretty much common knowledge at this stage?

How can a preference or opinion be "common knowledge"?

Tombi!

Raekwon wrote: »

Are you stalking me? That's not creepy at all in fact I'm actually quite flattered.

And yet you assume the poster is Dudess.
I don't know how that evil stalker could dare look through your posts!
But you were perfectly inline by thinking they're Dudess on a new account.

Unregistered.

dark crystal wrote: »

...I don't feel the need to come on here and slate all Irish men because of it...

Give it a try. Horses for courses and all that.

Daveysil15

Onixx wrote: »

It does indeed.

There really, really isn't.

They do indeed.

Well 2 out of 3 aint bad.

Duggys Housemate

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

efb wrote: »

yes?

No matter what you post, someone; somewhere will take offence to it. Who honestly gives a crap about that dudes flatmate?! Chances are she doesn't even exist as is the case with many of the interesting stories in AH.

I honestly think people need to chill the fcuk out, if someone posts something misogynistic or misandric then report the post or call them out on thread. Banning all discussion on subjects or dictating what people can say or think is retarded. It's a discussion forum after all. A while ago there were a couple of posters that had issues with women but I think they've either moved on or been pushed on.

What next? Ban people criticising the church? Pubs that charge too much? People that don't like skinny jeans?

By calling for a report to mods it is you, not the offended parties who are curtailing debate, both there and here. I say - in AH, at least - let people post potentially misogynistic crap, and let women be allowed to point out that it is misogynistic.

Sea Filly

Brutal Deluxe wrote: »

And yet you assume the poster is Dudess.
I don't know how that evil stalker could dare look through your posts!
But you were perfectly inline by thinking they're Dudess on a new account.

Yeah, I joined in April, and through that magical search facility, I discovered that Dudess left in June. So apparently my new and old accounts overlapped by two months! :pac:

Abdul Abulbul Amir

Your Text Here wrote: »

I really don't agree with you here. What you're saying is a huge generalisation - how is it so much easier for a women to get a man/woman than a man? I could use examples of the experiences of some people to totally flip your hypothesis on its head, but it's not relevant. Why does that make any difference to how people treat those of other genders?

Do people around here specialise in taking things out of context? Go back you'll see why I raise it, the whole thing is an aside.

It is difficult to get numbers on, but I'm pretty sure it's true. That's anecdotal but... actually maybe google can help there...

No, nothing, all I can find is marriage statistics, that doesn't mean much these days. But on how do I think it's easier for women - men are less selective.

Duggys Housemate

The hysteria towards women comes from the dance floor. In clubs women are approached by men far more than men by women, which means all approaches to women are suspected of sexual undertones, which allows women to be curt with men - in a way which wouldn't be acceptable in other situations like a dinner or house party, mostly. This curtness is inevitable, a woman in a club would be hated as a tease if she talked for 2 hours to someone and then just pissed off. Best to nip it in the bud.

So men who are frequently rejected build up a irrational dislike of the opposite sex :who is that orange, fat, woman to reject moi!

The OP's post had a link to a thread exactly on that subject. The other link she linked to was standard old school male mysogony and I will believe it normal when a woman posts a thread about her unattractive male housemate shagging a girl a week, and what to do - and gets tons of thanks. In that case the woman would be told to mind her own "frigid" business, fairly swiftly.

Raekwon

Sea Filly wrote: »

Well, accusing one poster of being another is fairly creepy. I just did a quick search out of curiosity as your post had a strange doggedness to it. If you're putting that much effort in, perhaps you should a PhD thesis on the subject.

It was obviously done in jest as you're clearly not even in the same league as Dudess. Believe it or not I actually had alot of respect for her as she was more then capable of arguing her points fairly and without the need to resort to being petty and condensing......well most of the time

billybudd

People are very sensitive now a days.

You really have to take with a pinch of salt what anyone says on the internet, do you feel OP that this happens when your in work? out socially? out shopping etc? are you subject to men and their hatful ways? if you are then of course there is a problem but in the realms of the internet men as well as women can get all their anger and spite out without being judged face to face.

Men love women and women love men but in truth we drive each bonkers:sometimes.

Micky Dolenz

MOD

The speculation of who posters were or are end here.

If you have a problem with a post or poster, report it.

Fair warning.

VEN

Abdul Abulbul Amir wrote: »

I don't know about the first two points, but on the third: are you so sure? I don't think you realise how much more difficult dating/scoring is for guys than for girls. Women, even fairly unattractive women, will in my experience not go single for very long. I've known many guys to go for long stretches single, and not voluntarily either. It's only worse for unattractive men, or smaller men.

Now that's fine and all, women are entitled to make whatever choices they want with guys, but to say there's no pressure regarding looks on men is incorrect. And I'd argue that it actually leads to worse outcomes in men.

sorry girls but i'd have to agree here. the worse outcomes are well, i can't say here. another time, another forum area for that perhaps.
is the fear of rejection so bad that you just can't ask a fella out?
most fellas have to deal with that every day/weekend whatever

The King of Moo

10 pages and you haven't solved all the gender issues in modern Ireland?
I am disappoint.

Some thoughts on the anti-women threads on AH:

Boys and young men often hang around largely in all-male groups and some of them develop an "us-against-them" attitude towards women due to not spending a great deal of time with them.

This leads them to seeing going out and looking for a roide as an attempted conquest, and seeing not getting sex as a failure. If they don't get "their hole," as it were, some blame the women as being "stuck up," while others project their own worries about their own inadequacies onto women and blame them.
Alcohol doesn't help in this. The vast majority of men approaching women in nightclubs are drunk, and thus almost guaranteed to be less charming than they think they are while under the influence.
But for some of these men it's easier to blame women for not finding their drunk selves attractive, rather than reflecting on their own behaviour or attitudes.

Also important is the fact that we remember negative experiences more than positive or neutral ones, and tell more people about them. Some people aren't aware of this and therefore think that the minority of Irish women who are b*tches are representative of all of them, rather than merely being representative of a small number of women in some isolated instances.

It should be pointed out that it's only a minority of Irish men who are like this. I'd even suggest that it's only a minority of male AH users who are like this (not that we're all necessarily studs with women: I have my own range of behavioural issues *farts loudly while listening to MP3 player* that turn women off, but sexism isn't generally among them).
As has already been pointed out, the disproportionate number of anti-woman threads are started by the same few people who have serious problems with women, or a serious lack of experience in dealing with them outside of nightclubs.

Most Irish men are fairly well-adjusted and average to daycent looking. Like Irish women really.

Finally, and most crucially, referring to a period as "the monthlies" makes one sound like a Vicar in a sleepy English village.

Mrs. Fothergill: "Is your wife not joining us for tea Vicar?"
Vicar: "Not today Mrs. Fothergill, I'm afraid she's got the monthlies!!"
Mrs. Fothergill: "Oh my!!" *chuckles*

blacklilly

sorry girls but i'd have to agree here. the worse outcomes are well, i can't say here. another time, another forum area for that perhaps.
is the fear of rejection so bad that you just can't ask a fella out?
most fellas have to deal with that every day/weekend whatever[/Quote]

No one likes rejection, I would be very shy when it comes to chatting up guys whereas the majority of my friends have no problem doing it. Its not that I've ever been rejected but just find it difficult putting myself out there. It's probably the reason I'm single.
If a guy chatted me up and I didn't find him attractive I'd never ever be rude to him. I see lots of women being blatantly rude to some guys, including some of my friends and it really annoys me!

omgitsthelazor

It's a pretty much accepted internet culture that anyone who isn't a young white male in a first world country be mocked. It's ironic and isn't something to take seriously.

Piste

It's not something we should have to put up with either.

Dyr

Are'nt these class of threads usually moved to feedback fairly lively

Scioch

Bambi wrote: »

Are'nt these class of threads usually moved to feedback fairly lively

Better to have at it here and hash it out then take whatever comes of it to feedback once it all calms down some.

I'd imagine the mods will be discussing this in private anyway.

Varied

Ok so, maybe a rule on sexism or gender bashing as a whole should be established & enforced in AH?

Scioch

The King of Moo wrote: »

As has already been pointed out, the disproportionate number of anti-woman threads are started by the same few people who have serious problems with women, or a serious lack of experience in dealing with them outside of nightclubs.

And also come in waves as one will lead to another, once something gets "popular" in AH it tends to spawn a lot of similar type threads. This week it was "Irish women" next week we may be treated to a half dozen threads on Social Welfare/Religion/drugs who knows. And those threads are not popular because its a widely held view they just draw a lot of discussion.

But when it comes in waves like that a small number of posters can make it seem like a much more popular view than it actually is.

KeithM89_old

I think it humorous that certain people who have been here mere weeks are trying to change AH. Im not going to walk into your house and tell you to change the carpets.

Catari Jaguar

EdanHewittt wrote: »

Maybe the lads should stop the keyboard warrior syndrome and have a guys night in eating Sultana and Chocolate Digestives

These exist?? Want! Where I can haz finds them?

Sauve

KeithM89 wrote: »

I think it humorous that certain people who have been here mere weeks are trying to change AH. Im not going to walk into your house and tell you to change the carpets.

That's a fair point but surely sexism is wrong regardless?
I'm well aware that AH is a very jokey place and in the vast majority of cases the jokes are taken as just that but the impression I'm getting is that it's starting to get to be a bit much and wear people down.

Tombi!

I wouldn't call "hey can we maybe not make sweep generalizations about one gender" changing AH. But each to their own. I don't get the analogy with carpets and sexism rules but again I've only been lurking several years so I imagine there's a reason it's stuck here.

Unless there was somethign else I missed?

Sir Gallagher

The lads in AH that give out about Irish women meanwhile praising Polish, Latvian, Russian birds etc. always give me a chuckle. Likewise with the "you should have knocked the fat bitch out" types. Clearly 99% of them haven't had a sniff of a woman in 2 years.

KeithM89_old

Sauve wrote: »

That's a fair point but surely sexism is wrong regardless?
I'm well aware that AH is a very jokey place and in the vast majority of cases the jokes are taken as just that but the impression I'm getting is that it's starting to get to be a bit much and wear people down.

I agree that certain posts highlighted may have gone a bit far but a lot of them are fine or just 'humorous' one liners. Theres always going to be people who dont 'get' AH and thats fine but we shouldnt/wont have to change to suit them.

hondasam

Sauve wrote: »

That's a fair point but surely sexism is wrong regardless?
I'm well aware that AH is a very jokey place and in the vast majority of cases the jokes are taken as just that but the impression I'm getting is that it's starting to get to be a bit much and wear people down.

I come into AH scan the threads. post in the wants I want to and ignore the rest.
Posters should pick and choose the threads that make them happy rather than those that make them angry.

Tombi!

KeithM89 wrote: »

I agree that certain posts highlighted may have gone a bit far but a lot of them are fine or just humorous one liners. Theres always going to be people who dont 'get' AH and thats fine but we shouldnt/wont have to change to suit them.

Eh I suppose it's staying with the old "if you don't like it f**k off" that we al know and love?

VEN

Sauve wrote: »

it's starting to get to be a bit much and wear people down.

and the carpets don't forget. a lot of traffic coming into AH, mass inward migration. i hope they can handle us all. why are so many men coming into AH. we're all ****ed.

KeithM89_old

Brutal Deluxe wrote: »

Eh I suppose it's staying with the old "if you don't like it f**k off" that we al know and love?

Ah no, im not allowed to tell anyone to f**k off

Sauve

KeithM89 wrote: »

I agree that certain posts highlighted may have gone a bit far but a lot of them are fine or just 'humorous' one liners. Theres always going to be people who dont 'get' AH and thats fine but we shouldnt/wont have to change to suit them.

Ah yeah, agreed.
I generally don't get bothered by it, but I can see why a lot do. I wouldn't be in favour of any more rules though, there are enough of them as it is. If the trolls/spastics got less attention (I know I attack them as much as anybody) they'd be more inclined to vanish.

Easier said than done though.

Tombi!

KeithM89 wrote: »

Ah no, im not allowed to tell anyone to f**k off

Oh wait then.
*does his best impression of Keith*
ALL YOU PRÍCKS F**K OFF!

There we go, I did it for you

And don't worry, I did say it F-bleep-k

Dyr

Varied wrote: »

Ok so, maybe a rule on sexism or gender bashing as a whole should be established & enforced in AH?

We should probably be careful of the whole blasphemy laws and lay off on the charlie church bashing. Maybe the doleites too. Not too mention the asylum seekers, heaven forbid the European court could get involved otherwise


Tell ya what, let's just have a sticky with a list of protected groups that are not to be given stick.

I seem to remember the similar campaign being waged by certain parties in the old beer guts forum, worked out well in the end there. :pac:

Lyaiera

To be honest I avoided this thread until a few pages ago (Although I might have posted in it while drunk.) I knew it would annoy me, so why would I come in here (I came in here now because all my friends bailed on me and I'm tipsy.)

There's going to be complete morons who act like complete morons all over the internet. In the real world we're generally fortunate enough that we don't have to engage with them or just have to shrug off their rebukes and ignore them. But somehow when they're posting in After Hours you have to address their ignorance? The one time I let these morons' opinions get to me I suffered as a result (e-suffered, not real life suffered) so I decided I wouldn't let them annoy me. If you're not laughing at them when you're responding to them then you're not being good enough to yourself. If it's a genuine case where you see someone is genuinely confused or mislead about the "state of play" in the real world, then address them. But don't think you're going to make a difference addressing the obvious neanderthals who genuinely only like to fling ****.

You're not going to change their mind. So like I said, if you see a post and someone looks like they're actually just confused or mislead about something, then talk to them. Don't talk to the complete morons. I couldn't give a feck about them. Nothing I can do will change their opinion. I like to think that I can be nice to someone, and that niceness will be reflected back on me. But there's a base level of understanding that needs to occur between me and that person before I even think of engaging them. If you think someone doesn't have the capability of being swayed in argument, or being lead to the right way of thinking, then don't bother. Spend your time with people who even though they disagree, might be willing to engage.

And that goes for the same guys who dismiss all feminism as feminazis. Yes. There absolutely are feminazis out there, but please don't use them to dismiss me. I wouldn't dismiss you because of some of the bigots that I could conceivably put in the same corner as you.

Wibbs

Brutal Deluxe wrote: »

Oh wait then.
*does his best impression of Keith*
ALL YOU PRÍCKS F**K OFF!

There we go, I did it for you

And don't worry, I did say it F-bleep-k

Can I hire you BD? I have paypal if that helps. Play it right and you could have queue of mods and users getting in line for your services. Nice little earner, don't tell the revenue.

g'em

KeithM89 wrote: »

I agree that certain posts highlighted may have gone a bit far but a lot of them are fine or just 'humorous' one liners. Theres always going to be people who dont 'get' AH and thats fine but we shouldnt/wont have to change to suit them.

Humorous to whom? Ott sexist posts should be treated the same way that racist, xenophobic or whatever have you posts are. Anything else is head - in-the-sand.

Scioch

Brutal Deluxe wrote: »

Oh wait then.
*does his best impression of Keith*
ALL YOU PRÍCKS F**K OFF!

There we go, I did it for you

And don't worry, I did say it F-bleep-k

Reported for impersonating a mod.