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Co-workers and communication

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  • 20-07-2012 1:41pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi there,

    Long story short, I've been working in a medium size company (~40 employees) for the last 2 years. In my department, it was the full time team of 3 - supervisor and 2 under her (I was one of them).

    I've excelled during my time here and have gotten lots of praise from managers/the CEO etc. I'm outgoing and have no problem doing any tasks asked of me. I should say at this point that even my own partner berates me for making myself so indispensable to the company but I love my job and am always happy to do anything asked of me, it's no hassle.

    About 6 months ago, the team supervisor went on maternity leave and her replacement had worked here previously and came back to cover.

    We didn't immediately click despite my best efforts and there was a lot of isolation and b1tching between the MLC (maternity leave) and the other team member towards me. A manager even pulled me up on it and asked me if he was just observing incorrectly or if I was in fact being isolated and left out.

    I pulled both the MLC and my other team member up on it and said look, we're all adults at the end of the day and I'm not asking to be your best friend but I'm not being treated like a child because you don't like me and can we all just work together and achieve our departmental goals together.

    However, we went out for a company dinner the other night and a member of staff from a different department sat down beside me after dinner and said "Oh my god, how did you cope with all the b1tching about you today?". Supposedly when I was congratulated for going the extra mile a few weeks ago, the MLC, their "buddies" and my other team member said "For God's sake, she's not all that!" and proceeded to b1tch about me at the lunch table for an hour afterwards - some of it quite personal and about my looks and mocking my family situation (it's well known in my workplace that both of my parents are very ill).

    Later on in the day, I overheard a conversation take place between them again about me, this time calling me "desperate for attention" and saying that I "must not have a life" because I'm so dedicated to my job. This hurt me quite a bit as a lot of the work I do makes the department as a whole look good, not me.

    I know I should just put what they've said to one side and look out for myself but I'm really struggling as I work so hard and get no thanks from my fellow colleagues at all. Being b1tched about constantly is having a major impact on my work as I feel like I shouldnt be doing my best because it's leading to so much negative feedback.

    Has anyone got any advice on how to deal with this and what I should do? I'm talking about grown adults aged 27 and 29 carrying on like this and it's really beyond what I need after 15 years of bullying in school.


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    #2
    krd
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,455 ✭✭✭krd


    allworkedup wrote: »
    Has anyone got any advice on how to deal with this and what I should do? I'm talking about grown adults aged 27 and 29 carrying on like this and it's really beyond what I need after 15 years of bullying in school.

    You're working with scumbags. It's as simple as this. People bully at school to get "ahead" and some people never grow up.

    It's not really the same everywhere. Some places you'll have it, others you won't. And it's really depressing to work with these people - not just because of the bullying, but knowing that they're scum.

    Take notes, and go to your human resources - you can make a formal complaint. The bullies may be running a campaign to drive you out of your job, or they might just be doing it for pleasure. If you're good at your job, they may be worried that you're showing them up, and they want to get rid of you.

    Some people are really awful. I'd hate to be inside their heads.


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    #3
    okiss
    Registered Users Posts: 698 ✭✭✭okiss


    Keep making notes of ever thing that happens with a date, time and who was involved.
    I would go to hr and make a formal complaint.
    I would explain to hr that you have tried to make thing better with these people but they have not made any improvements to the way they are treating you.
    Tell hr also what the member of the other department told you about these people as they need to get as much information as possible to deal with this.
    Why should you leave this job to suit these people when you are dealing with a lot in your personal life.


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    #4
    looksee
    Registered Users Posts: 28,519 ✭✭✭✭looksee


    Everything the others have said, but also you seem to have a manager on your side, could you not go back to him/her and say, 'you said you noticed my team trying to alienate me, I thought I could deal with it but it has not worked and I need some help' or words to that effect.


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    #5
    Irish_Elect_Eng
    Registered Users Posts: 1,260 ✭✭✭Irish_Elect_Eng


    Very good advice from the previous poster. Any manager aware of a bullying/harassment situation has a duty of care to the employee even if they are not a direct report. By working with the support of this manager rather than going it alone you can make resolving this situation easier on yourself. Go to the manager, refer to your previous conversation and ask for their guidance / support in resolving the situation.

    Best of Luck.


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