Useless projects you'd commission with £21tn

eth0

This ridiculous amount of money mentioned in the other thread got me to think what sort of money you could just throw at pet projects that will be of very little benefit to yourself, without any need for the investment to pay off.

I would want them to be of use to other people but throwing it all to the "charity industry" is very boring, most of the money gets soaked up by execs and people will be starving again shortly after anyway.

So i'll start off


1. I'd build a series of Nail houses. A prime site for a shopping centre comes up for sale surrounded by sky scrapers in the middle of a big city, I'd buy it and have one modest size house built on it, with a garden and a shed. They'd all be fully furnished with stuff you'd find in a traditional Irish house regardless of the country they're in. Then I'd rent them out for feck all money to people who happen to be stuck for a house once I'm convinced they won't make a mess of the place

2. In a place with a lot of Johovas I'd buy two houses in an open field and join them up with an underground tunnel. Just to scare the sh1t out of them when the same person answers the door to them in both places.

3. Set up a car factory to build oldschool cars that should never have gone out of production like the Talbot-Lago T-150 and DeLorean, wouldn't change them much except maybe a more efficient engine. Sell them for 20k each just to make sure their owners look after them.

4. Have someone stand outside every nightclub in the country at closing time handing out free joints and prostitute vouchers just to dispel any potential trouble

5. Build a free cable car between England and Ireland and also an underground tunnel but only people who have been on the cable car would be allowed to use the tunnel

6. Buy up a load of ghost estates, farm land and maybe a few small towns and make a national park out of it. Plant it full of forest and have a nice scenic windy road going through it with no speed limit.

Hande hoche!

Bronze statue of myself.

Diego Maradona

Bag of cans

mikemac1

Port tunnel converted to a white water rafting centre

Would be great craic

Piste

Buy a penthouse suite in a fancy hotel on several different continents, pay for people in long-distance relationships to fly and spend a night there together.

Or set up a fund that pays for the travel of individuals in long-distance relationships to visit their partners.


I'm not in a long-distance relationship myself, I just think it's a nice idea.

Wacker The Attacker

Diego Maradona wrote: »

Bag of cans

With Onion rings and a double decker

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

3000% pay increase for all politicians.

Wacker The Attacker

I'd pay a hooker $47121.28 to smear my bollocks with custard and punch my arse

admiralofthefleet

another luas line in south dublin into areas where nobody lives while people on the northside queue for hours for full buses.

BornToKill

eth0 wrote: »

4. Have someone stand outside every nightclub in the country at closing time handing out free joints and prostitute vouchers

You mean cash?

cocoshovel

Few gas chambers...............................if you know what I mean.

eth0

BornToKill wrote: »

You mean cash?

No vouchers that can only be redeemed by getting a roide off a participating prostitute. They'd have to show ID so they can be made non-transferrable

squod

Make another series of baywatch

Duggy747

Pumping money into a project that will make a left-handed mug or a water-proof kettle.

GaryIrv93

1. A few Skyscapers and more development projects around the country.

2. Invest a good bit more in every part of the Defence Forces. Bigger and more capable Army, Navy and Air Corps. I'd also contribute some cash towards the development of the F-35.

3. My favourite development: A fake mini city somwhere in Dublin solely for Airsofting, and another for Paintballing. Very cheap if not free entry, open all hours + access to everywhere inside it. I would also make it easily accessible from anywhere in Ireland - maybe build it near a railway. In it there'd be estates, towers, forts, high rises, streets, dark underground areas, no-mans-land areas with trenches, an airfield with retired and destroyed planes, helicopters, old army and burnt out vehicles, rivers... you name it. Also would have artifical smoke screens around the place to add realism. Then throw in a few hundred / thousand players, divide them into teams, let them do what they want or give objectives, scatter them around the place and it would be good to go. Think that'd be great fun and would attract worldwide attention and countless tourist players.

4. Fund an Irish Sea Tunnell to connect Ireland to GB.

5. More investment in renewable energy projects and funding of more oil and gas exploration in Irish coastal waters.

6. Some large car assembling plants, aircraft manufacturing and shipbuilding companies throughout Ireland.

Jesus Shaves

squod wrote: »

Make another series of baywatch

Make an Irish version and call it bogwatch

Scioch

Buy £20tn of gold, stick in a rocket and send it to mars. Sit back and watch people fall over themselves for years to get to it. Then laugh my ass off when they get there to find a rocket full of spuds.

pragmatic1

Buy every pub, club, and off license in the country and limit the choice of drinks to aftershock and bovril.

demakinz

Roof the country

FinnLizzy

I would buy a plot of land somewhere isolated in the Andes, and build a shop that sells model train sets, and other model train set based paraphernalia.

I would offer the job of managing the model train shop (basically, someone with a great enthusiasm for model trains, which I couldn't give a ****e about). They would be so thrilled that they could manage a model train shop on a salary of €1,000 a week.

I would have him manage this train shop (I'll be watching with CCTV) for 8 months, and give him food and a place to stay above the shop.

He will soon realise that there isn't a great demand for train sets in the mountainous regions of Chile. I'll watch him go demented with the loneliness, which he would only be slightly use to being a model train enthusiast.

And he can't skip work, because I'll be watching him, and he has to run the shop as if there were regular customers.

nice_very

a few naggins, be grand

djflawless

Simple.a gun.a really big ass gun.capable of tearin a small island somewhere in half with 1 shot...just for the craic like!

DB21

A statue/fountain of myself pissing on SWP headquarters :pac:

JupiterKid

Two ambitious space exploration missions:

1. Manned mission to Mars. Take the brightest, best and most creative humans from around the world and send them on a manned mission to land on the red planet. The astronauts would return to Earth as heroes and hopefully within 10 years of the first manned landing the first Mars colony can be begun.

2. Manned mission to the sun. Take the corrupt politicians, w(b)ankers, fraudsters and anyone else in the country that profited on others' toil during the property bubble era and send them on a one way voyage to the surface of the Sun.

southcentralts

€21 Tn...Don't the mods spend that every month on hookers and coke?

Bobby Baccala

Construct a death star. Aim it at Lee Evans' face, kill.

3ndahalfof6

wash the sky, all of it, even the night time one albeit you might not notice it got washed.

token101

Waterworld 2

AlmightyCushion

P4DDY2K11 wrote: »

Construct a death star. Aim it at Lee Evans' face, kill.

You won't be able to get through his protective layer of sweat before you run out of power.

Richard Hillman

I would regenerate a troublesome, run down area like Ballymun and give all these families larger homes for free and lots of public services and amenities to keep the youth out of trouble. Then i would increase the social welfare for these people to make them feel more part of society and to give them opportunities to educate themselves and to better their lives.

Then i would build loads of halting sites for travellers around the country to help give them a higher and healthier standard of living.

titan18

Buy a few soccer clubs, buy an NFL team, buy an NBA team and use the popularity of those teams to market the country to tourists and foreign companies.

Brian_Zeluz

Project make me Batman

sheesh

build our own rail gun use to protect irish fisheries

a tunnel to uk


apparently the tunnel to uk would cost about 100 billion (the amount of our bailout)

lend money on long term loans to spain italy and what was left to greece.

drink in the kudos as I get streets in Rome Madrid and Athens named after me.

buy a really nice boat. I mean really nice boat.

destabilize the the economies of india china and brazil (smug sh*tes)

rebuild bosnia hetrzagovina just so they can blow it up again.

Samich

E Voting

im invisible

Samich wrote: »

E Voting

tried that once, i marked them all number 1

buyer95

I'd do a Balotelli and head into town dressed up as santa handing 15 grand to each beggar/ poor person and blow the rest on buying the playboy mansion of old heffo

Rabies

eth0 wrote: »

This ridiculous amount of money mentioned in the other thread got me to think what sort of money you could just throw at pet projects that will be of very little benefit to yourself, without any need for the investment to pay off.

I would want them to be of use to other people but throwing it all to the "charity industry" is very boring, most of the money gets soaked up by execs and people will be starving again shortly after anyway.

So i'll start off

I'd give it to this guy and see what he does with it

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056707877

golden lane

a surfboard for everybody in the country.........then by and close down all the icecream shops....

Washington Irving

I'd probably buy a Mars bar, maybe a bottle of mineral if I'm feeling fancy

buyer95

golden lane wrote: »

a surfboard for everybody in the country.........then by and close down all the icecream shops....

Sure beats Haughey and his toothbrushes he sent us all back in the day
:rolleyes:

golden lane

buyer95 wrote: »

Sure beats Haughey and his toothbrushes he sent us all back in the day
:rolleyes:

i just get annoyed when i see people with a surfboard eating eating cream...
....

im invisible

Buy land on the moon, its the next big thing.

I was going to say colonise Mars, but i reckon start small, build a city on the Moon first.

Rothko

I'd get a suit made entirely of gold.

randylonghorn

Establish a foundation to fund good archaeological and historical research. Perhaps the conservation of particularly good old buildings too. Link them in with an education / experiential learning programme so that local schoolkids and adults could learn about the past of their own locality.

Establish Driver's Ed in every secondary school for TY and senior cycle.

Establish a network of small practice tracks for motorsports / drifting etc. around the country which would be located so as to be (a) as accessible as possible yet (b) as remote as possible from residential areas. Make them available at a very nominal fee / through some kind of club set-up provided participants undertake an advanced driving programme (available on site) within a specified time of joining.

Establish a National Museum of Greed and Corruption on Inis Mhic Uileáin. Encourage the Dáil to establish a "community service programme" for politicians, bankers, developers, etc., shown to have been instrumental in getting the country into the shítty state it's in. Pay the state a daily bounty for each inmate. Community service to consist of 6 hours per day in the stocks getting lambasted. Free boat-trips to be laid on from the mainland to ensure that there would be a constant supply of ordinary citizens with strong throwing arms.

I could do this all night ...

holystungun9

Commission a movie and give everybody in Ireland a part. Maybe a Father Ted type thing or something.

opinion guy

Something along these lines :pac:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYURxfaTdpY

keano_afc

I'd buy a tank of petrol Or, now that the price has come down a bit, two tanks of petrol.

YouTookMyName

Monorail for carrick-on-shannon.

keano_afc

YouTookMyName wrote: »

Monorail for carrick-on-shannon.

Is there a chance the track would bend?

Wossack

keano_afc wrote: »

Is there a chance the track would bend?

mono!

d'oh

Dale Parish

I'de make the worlds largest piece of iron and wrap a wire around it trillions of times to create a sick voltage.