hurt and confused over muslim belief

bazza1234

hi i'm barbara. i have a lovely muslim boyfriend who i love very much. i am from ireland and he is from india. we have been together for many months now and we have both fallen madly in love. he regularly tells me that he wants to marry me and have children with me. we are very close and intimate with each other. i never had a problem with his religion but one thing really bothers me. i see how dedicated he is, he prays all the time and he does good deeds but i found out the reward in heaven is that all men will get many beautiful virgin women, more beautiful than any woman on earth. this part hurt me and made me feel betrayed and jealous. if a man loves a woman on earth, why would he want these virgin women?

The hur, virginal "companions, with beautiful, big and lustrous eyes" (Koran 56:22), are mentioned four times in the Koran (44:54, 52:20, 55:72, and 56:22)

They will be fair ones with lovely intense eyes like guarded pearls; A reward for the good deeds of their past life.” (56:17-24)
“We have created mates for them and made them virgins, matched in age, for the companions of the right hand.” (56:35-38)

“They will be chaste, restraining their eyes in modesty, never touched by man or Jinn."(55:56)

surely if a man truly fell in love and loved a woman he would not wish to have these virgin women....
i know that he believes completely in islam so am i just here to pass his time until he gets these BETTER women in heaven? i feel hurt to say the least....

whydoc

Question:

What happens in paradise, with a couple who have been married. I have heard that the wife will be with her husband, but that the husband will in addition to her, have 70 women (hoors) at his service.
This to me does not seem like a fair concept for the women, to share their husbands in this way.

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

The believer must submit to the rulings and decrees of Allaah. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“The only saying of the faithful believers, when they are called to Allaah (His Words, the Qur’aan) and His Messenger, to judge between them, is that they say: ‘We hear and we obey.’ And such are the successful (who will live forever in Paradise)”

[al-Noor 24:51]

If the believer is confused about anything in the rulings of Allaah, and he does not know what it means or what the reason behind it is, then he must say as those who are firmly grounded in knowledge say:

“We believe in it; the whole of it (clear and unclear Verses) are from our Lord”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:7 – interpretation of the meaning]

It is not permissible for the believer to say that one of the rulings of Allaah is not fair; exalted be Allaah far above that. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And your Lord is not at all unjust to (His) slaves”

[Fussilat 41:46]

There is no rule that is better than the rule of Allaah. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Is not Allaah the Best of judges?”

[al-Teen 95:8]

“Do they then seek the judgement of (the days of) Ignorance? And who is better in judgement than Allaah for a people who have firm Faith?” [al-Maa’idah 5:50]

Secondly:

In this question there are two mistakes and a misunderstanding. The first mistake is where the questioner says that in Paradise a man will have seventy hoor ‘iyn. What is proven in the saheeh Sunnah is that the martyr (shaheed) will have seventy-two hoor ‘iyn. The least of the people of Paradise will have two wives, and some will have more than that.

It was narrated that al-Miqdaam ibn Ma’di Yakrib said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The martyr has six blessings with Allaah: he will be forgiven from the first drop of blood shed; he will be shown his place in Paradise; he will be protected from the torment of the grave; he will be safe from the greater terror; a crown of dignity will be placed on his head, one ruby of which is better than this world and everything in it; he will be married to seventy-two wives from al-hoor al-‘iyn; and he will intercede for seventy of his relatives.”

Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1663; Ibn Maajah, 2799; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

And more than that has been narrated. Abu Na’eem narrated in Sifat al-Jannah from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A man will go to one hundred virgins in one day – i.e., in Paradise.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 367.

It was narrated from Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The lowest of the people of Paradise in status will be a man whose face Allaah will turn away from the Fire towards Paradise, and make a shady tree appear before him. … Then he will enter his house and his two wives from among al-hoor al-‘iyn will enter after him. They will say: ‘Praise be to Allah Who has created you for us and us for you.’ And he will say: ‘No one has been given the like of that which I have been given.’” Narrated by Muslim, 188.

Al-Haafiz said:

The apparent meaning is that the least that will be given to each of them will be two wives.

Thirdly:

The second mistake is the questioner’s saying that al-hoor al-‘iyn will serve the man. This is not correct, rather the ones who will serve the people of Paradise will be boys of everlasting youth. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And round about them will (serve) boys of everlasting youth. If you see them, you would think them scattered pearls”

[al-Insaan 76:19]

Al-hoor al-‘iyn will be wives of the men in Paradise, in addition to their wives from among the people of this world. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“So (it will be). And We shall marry them to Hoor (fair females) with wide lovely eyes”

[al-Dukhaan 44:54]

“They will recline (with ease) on thrones arranged in ranks. And We shall marry them to Hoor (fair females) with wide lovely eyes”

[al-Toor 52:20]

Fourthly:

The misunderstanding is when the questioner says: “This to me does not seem like a fair concept for the women, to share their husbands in this way.”

Fairness or justice is to be found in the rulings of sharee’ah, not in what a person thinks who does not know sharee’ah and its rulings, let alone the reasons behind them.

The sister who is asking this question thinks that the jealousy in her heart, and what it leads to of depression and sorrow will remain with her in Paradise, but this is not correct, and this is why there is this misunderstanding in her question.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And We shall remove from their breasts any (mutual) hatred or sense of injury (which they had, if at all, in the life of this world); rivers flowing under them, and they will say: ‘All the praises and thanks be to Allaah, Who has guided us to this, and never could we have found guidance, were it not that Allaah had guided us! Indeed, the Messengers of our Lord did come with the truth.’ And it will be cried out to them: ‘This is the Paradise which you have inherited for what you used to do’”

[al-A’raaf 7:43]

There is nothing but joy and happiness in Paradise; there is no room for hatred and rancour in the hearts of the people of Paradise. Al-hoor al-‘iyn are something which Allaah has created to honour the people of Paradise and to increase their delight. Moreover a man will be given the strength of one hundred men for intercourse, so the large number will not have any effect on a woman, and her feelings towards her co-wives and her husband’s concubines will not be like her feelings in this world.

It was narrated that Zayd ibn Arqam said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to me: “A man in Paradise will be given the strength of one hundred men in eating, drinking, desire and intercourse.” A Jewish man said: “The one who eats and drinks will need to relieve himself.” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to him, “The way in which one of them will relieve himself will be by means of sweat which will come out through his pores, and thus the food in his stomach will be digested.”

“Do they then seek the judgement of (the days of) Ignorance? And who is better in judgement than Allaah for a people who have firm Faith?”

[al-Maa’idah 5:50 – interpretation of the meaning]

Narrated by Ahmad, 18827; classed as saheeh by Ibn Hibbaan, 16/443; and by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1627.

It was narrated from Anas that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The believer in Paradise will be given such-and-such strength for intercourse.” It was said, “O Messenger of Allaah, will he really be able to do that?” He said, “He will be given the strength of a hundred (men).”
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2536; classed as saheeh by Ibn Hibbaan, 16/413; and by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 8106.

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A

and her feelings towards her co-wives and her husband’s concubines will not be like her feelings in this world.

It'll be brainwashed out of her so?

“He will be given the strength of a hundred (men).”

I don't think it's his aptitude for intercourse that's the problem here :rolleyes:
what a bizarre answer they gave


all the women here seem to think that they'll be more beautiful than any of the houri anyway so it doesn't matter
http://www.ummah.com/forum/archive/index.php/t-324577.html

KamiKazi

Is anyone actually surprised that Islam favours men?

There

KamiKazi wrote: »

Is anyone actually surprised that Islam favours men?

Ironically more women convert to Islam though.
Must not be as bad as people make it out or maybe they take the time to do a bit more research on the matter.

LH Pathe

well.. what I, recall from my time in Tehran was my unle mo is as pussywhipped as my step-pa. Think ah witnessed more henpeckin than a coup of kenkuckys finest

sad preoccupied religion trolls. It's all crud

irishconvert

KamiKazi wrote: »

Is anyone actually surprised that Islam favours men?

Is anyone surprised that you won't be posting in this forum again?

Zombrex

bazza1234 wrote: »

hi i'm barbara. i have a lovely muslim boyfriend who i love very much. i am from ireland and he is from india. we have been together for many months now and we have both fallen madly in love. he regularly tells me that he wants to marry me and have children with me. we are very close and intimate with each other. i never had a problem with his religion but one thing really bothers me. i see how dedicated he is, he prays all the time and he does good deeds but i found out the reward in heaven is that all men will get many beautiful virgin women, more beautiful than any woman on earth. this part hurt me and made me feel betrayed and jealous. if a man loves a woman on earth, why would he want these virgin women?

The hur, virginal "companions, with beautiful, big and lustrous eyes" (Koran 56:22), are mentioned four times in the Koran (44:54, 52:20, 55:72, and 56:22)

They will be fair ones with lovely intense eyes like guarded pearls; A reward for the good deeds of their past life.” (56:17-24)
“We have created mates for them and made them virgins, matched in age, for the companions of the right hand.” (56:35-38)

“They will be chaste, restraining their eyes in modesty, never touched by man or Jinn."(55:56)

surely if a man truly fell in love and loved a woman he would not wish to have these virgin women....
i know that he believes completely in islam so am i just here to pass his time until he gets these BETTER women in heaven? i feel hurt to say the least....

Are you upset because you think he actually will get these better women, or that you think he believes he will and is looking forward to it?

Firstly, as an atheist I'm pretty sure he ain't getting those women. If you are not a Muslim you believe he isn't either. So I won't worry that he will actually get these women.

Secondly, I doubt that the promise of virgins in heaven is what makes your man a Muslim. I would say he is a Muslim by birth, ie he was raised to believe. Of course he excepts the whole religion, but I would seriously doubt he spends his days thinking "Man can't wait for those virgins".

And if you think he should reject his religion I can think of better reasons to reject Islam than these particular passages (which I won't get into on the Islamic forum).

So I think you are worrying about nothing. I'm assuming we both believe he ain't really getting these women nor would I imagine he spends much time, if any, thinking about them.

Carlos the Jackal

Why are you upset? you'll get the equivalent. The Qur'an does not specify a gender which means they can be male or female. They are simply servants.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Houri#Description

MrPudding

irishconvert wrote: »

Is anyone surprised that you won't be posting in this forum again?

Yes. Me. Overreact much?

MrP

irishconvert

KamiKazi wrote: »

Is anyone actually surprised that Islam favours men?

4 previous bans from Islam, countless bans from other forum. The guy is just a troll.

MrPudding

irishconvert wrote: »

4 previous bans from Islam, countless bans from other forum. The guy is just a troll.

So you ban based on history rather than the actual incident itself? I will read your response after my expected ban is lifted.

MrP

Frank Grimes

MrPudding wrote: »

So you ban based on history rather than the actual incident itself? I will read your response after my expected ban is lifted.

MrP

The guy only ever seemed to post in here to troll, I'm surprised he wasn't banned sooner.

Coeurdepirate

If you think that's bad, Allah forbid you don't have children with him that turn out to be gay!

oldfart

forget about the next life, what if he decides to take another wife in this one?
what will your kids be called, seamus, aoife, or mohamed? Will you be naming them after your relatives? Will you have a say in those matters at all?
what if your daughter wants to lead a normal life and runs off with a 'non - muslim' have you heard of honour killings?
do you have to convert and wear a head scarf, hiijab?
You will always be second to the religion, why does he not convert for you?
And yes, he will be unfaithful to you many times over in heavan, and everytime he thinks about heavan with many beautiful women...

Dr Turk Turkelton

I imagine Heaven to be like Las Vegas so what happens in Heaven...(stays in Heaven).

Frank Grimes

oldfart wrote: »

what if your daughter wants to lead a normal life and runs off with a 'non - muslim' have you heard of honour killings?

Leaving aside the overall ignorance in your post; do you actually think that (a) a Muslim girl/woman cannot lead a "normal" life without running away with a non-Muslim and (b) that she would be automatically killed for doing so.

eyescreamcone

Cuchulainn1. wrote: »

I imagine Heaven to be like Las Vegas so what happens in Heaven...(stays in Heaven).

Unless you're Prince Harry?

oldfart

Frank Grimes wrote: »

Leaving aside the overall ignorance in your post; do you actually think that (a) a Muslim girl/woman cannot lead a "normal" life without running away with a non-Muslim and (b) that she would be automatically killed for doing so.

You CANNOT deny that this actually happens - that is ignorance!!!!

It happened in the UK not so long ago

oldfart

oldfart wrote: »

forget about the next life, what if he decides to take another wife in this one?
what will your kids be called, seamus, aoife, or mohamed? Will you be naming them after your relatives? Will you have a say in those matters at all?
what if your daughter wants to lead a normal life and runs off with a 'non - muslim' have you heard of honour killings?
do you have to convert and wear a head scarf, hiijab?
You will always be second to the religion, why does he not convert for you?
And yes, he will be unfaithful to you many times over in heavan, and everytime he thinks about heavan with many beautiful women...

Received a warning for this? Threat of being banned...
note to self, criticizing islamic traditions because you consider them to be wrong and unfair is 'not allowed'

I do not agree with these things, am I not allowed to voice my opinion on it Irish Convert ? I have not attacked anyone, I am not telling lies either....

I only wish to hear from the lady who posted this thread

Frank Grimes

oldfart wrote: »

You CANNOT deny that this actually happens - that is ignorance!!!!

It happened in the UK not so long ago

Where did I deny it happens? It's not restricted to Muslims either, even in the UK. And you didn't address my first question.

Son Of A Vidic

KamiKazi wrote: »

Is anyone actually surprised that Islam favours men?

You must have missed the memo on Catholicism.

tehoau

irishconvert wrote: »

Is anyone surprised that you won't be posting in this forum again?

MOD EDIT: Video removed.


A typical Islamic reaction by an obviously fanatic convert...

Your post is reported...by any boards standard you -irishconvert -should be banned....please GTF out of our country go east and take a seat in the dark ages.

oldfart

I wont bother posting about anything to do with Islam again - waste of time, it is all too touchy, one sided, abhorrent towards any criticism or alternative views... you dont need to look far for an example.

from one irish woman to another....think long and hard about your decision, that is all I am saying.

Here is some food for thought.

http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=2267&CATE=10

http://www.irishcentral.com/news/Irish-mother-rescues-kidnapped-daughter-from-Syria-132377483.html

As not to appear bias in any way, this is written by a very clear speaking muslim man, http://www.onislam.net/english/ask-the-scholar/family/marital-relationships/175519-a-muslim-woman-married-to-a-non-muslim-is-she-still-considered-a-muslim.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honor_killing

My personal opinion is,... if I am allowed to have an opinion...

why any sane woman would willingly enter into Islam is beyond me.
Not for love or money, but maybe love is blind for some.

Good luck... whatever your choice is - I do not mean you any disrespect - I simply feel Islam is disrespectful to women.

irishconvert

tehoau wrote: »

A typical Islamic reaction by an obviously fanatic convert...

Your post is reported...by any boards standard you -irishconvert -should be banned....please GTF out of our country go east and take a seat in the dark ages.

And you can take a trip out of this forum. Bye.