How to get rid of a body?

Tombi!

I have years of experience from playing the "Hitman" games.

Here's what you do: hide the body in a container, any container.

People never open them.

I think I'm living proof that video games make people murder people and hide the bodies in containers.

Blazer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HAQ3pNHwj4

charlemont

Alright Larry, What's the craic...

Donnielighto

Chop it up, boil the flesh off the bones in a moderatley large cooking pot (to save time, you could you a smaller one but thats slower). Dump the cooked flesh anywhere out of the way (make sure body parts arent readily identifieable. Grind the bones and put the dust wherever you want.

Mr.Crinklewood

MadYaker wrote: »

Whats the best way to do it. This is best way i think. First, be smart from the very beginning. Pulverize all teeth, burn off fingerprints, and disfigure the face. Forcing a DNA test to establish identity (if it ever comes to that) might introduce the legal/forensic hurdle that saves your ass down the line. An unidentifiable body can, in a pinch, be dressed in thrift store clothes and dropped in a bad part of town where the police are less likely to question it. I don’t reommend that disposal method, I’m just saying an easily identifiable body is an even bigger threat than the opposite.

Assuming you have it inside a house where you can work on it a bit, the first thing you want to do is drain it of fluids. This will make it easier to cut up, and slow decomposition a little bit. The best way to do this quick and dirty is to perforate the body with a pointed knife, and then perform CPR on it. Cut the fronts of the thighs deep, diagonally, to slit the femoral arteries. Then pump the chest. The valves in the heart will still work when dead, and the springback of the ribcage can put apply a fair amount of suction to the artria. Do this in a tub. Plug the drain, and mingle lots of bleach with the bodily fluids before unplugging the drain to empty the tub. This should help control the stench of death, which would otherwise reek from your gutter gratings. Do everything you can to control odors. Plug in an ionizer, burn candles, leave bowls of baking soda everywhere. Ventilate the room in the middle of the night, but otherwise keep it closed. Keep the body under a plastic sheet while it’s in the tub.

If you want to bury, I recommend seperating the body into several parts, and burying them seperately. For one thing, it’s easier to dig a deep enough hole for a head than for an entire body. this reduces your chances of being discovered while you are actually outside and digging the grave.
That is the one thing you can’t do inside the doors of your house, and represents a vulnerable moment you want to keep brief, under 2 hours. Do it between 3 and 5 am. It’s also less likely for someone to call the police if their dog digs up some chunk of meat, than if they dig up an enitre body. They may assume it’s an animal carcass disfigured by decomposition, and leave it alone or dispose of it. It’s also more likely that the dog will consume all of it before anyone knows the difference. A whole skeleton is another story. You can cut a body into 6 pieces faster than you think. It’s not much different than boning a chicken, but it takes more work, a big knife, and time. A hammer will be useful for pulverizing joints or driving the knife deep where it doesn’t want to go. Anyway it’s wise to crush as much of the skeleton as you can along the way. It will aid in making the body less identifiable for what it is as it decomposes.

Don’t return to the same site 6 times for 6 burials.You’ll attract suspicion from anyone nearby, and you’ll wind up placing the body parts close enough together to be found by any serious investigation. Put them in plastic bags with lots of bleach, and store in a freezer until you have enough time to bury them all.

Depending on what tools you have available, you may find that you’re get really good at deconstructing the body. You might prefer to slowly sprinkle it down a drain without leaving your house. This avoids the long-term risk of discovery associated with burial, and the overwhelming supply of bacteria in a sewer accellerates deconomposition, whil e providing a convenient cover smell.

Truly grinding down a body takes a lot more work, and you run the risk of fouling your plumbing and calling in a plumber. So don’t try it unless you know how to clear bones and meat out of a drainpipe. A good food processor can be useful. But don’t over-use it, or power drills or saws. They’re noisy and they attract attention. And forget the kitchen sink. It’s better if you actually remove one of the toilets in your house from its base, which will give you direct access to one of the largest sewer pipes that enters your house. Follow any disposals with lots of bleach and then run the water for 5 or 10 minutes on top of that. And plug that pipe when you’re not using it, to prevent any sewer gasses from backing up into your house. Usually, a U-trap inside the toilet does that for you.

Drop me a PM.

El Guapo!

Just bring it out and party with it like "Weekend at Bernies".
Nobody ever gets suspicious.

bbam

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Jaysus. Why over complicate it. No matter where you live in the country you'll never be more then an hour to the country side. Farmers slurry pit and a few heavy weights. Job done.

No good as it would be found when slurry is spread which is at least yearly. Now if you did grind it up or iiquify a body it would be a good disposal method.

bbam

Locomotion wrote: »

You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.

And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig ****, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

I'd go with the pig theory. We have three and with the exception of onions and citrus fruit they consume everything like a big black hole. I'd say if a large boar was starved for a few days they would be unstoppable
I've seen them crunching up stones so a bit of bone should be no bother.

Cork24

MadYaker wrote: »

Whats the best way to do it. This is best way i think. First, be smart from the very beginning. Pulverize all teeth, burn off fingerprints, and disfigure the face. Forcing a DNA test to establish identity (if it ever comes to that) might introduce the legal/forensic hurdle that saves your ass down the line. An unidentifiable body can, in a pinch, be dressed in thrift store clothes and dropped in a bad part of town where the police are less likely to question it. I don’t reommend that disposal method, I’m just saying an easily identifiable body is an even bigger threat than the opposite.

Assuming you have it inside a house where you can work on it a bit, the first thing you want to do is drain it of fluids. This will make it easier to cut up, and slow decomposition a little bit. The best way to do this quick and dirty is to perforate the body with a pointed knife, and then perform CPR on it. Cut the fronts of the thighs deep, diagonally, to slit the femoral arteries. Then pump the chest. The valves in the heart will still work when dead, and the springback of the ribcage can put apply a fair amount of suction to the artria. Do this in a tub. Plug the drain, and mingle lots of bleach with the bodily fluids before unplugging the drain to empty the tub. This should help control the stench of death, which would otherwise reek from your gutter gratings. Do everything you can to control odors. Plug in an ionizer, burn candles, leave bowls of baking soda everywhere. Ventilate the room in the middle of the night, but otherwise keep it closed. Keep the body under a plastic sheet while it’s in the tub.

If you want to bury, I recommend seperating the body into several parts, and burying them seperately. For one thing, it’s easier to dig a deep enough hole for a head than for an entire body. this reduces your chances of being discovered while you are actually outside and digging the grave.
That is the one thing you can’t do inside the doors of your house, and represents a vulnerable moment you want to keep brief, under 2 hours. Do it between 3 and 5 am. It’s also less likely for someone to call the police if their dog digs up some chunk of meat, than if they dig up an enitre body. They may assume it’s an animal carcass disfigured by decomposition, and leave it alone or dispose of it. It’s also more likely that the dog will consume all of it before anyone knows the difference. A whole skeleton is another story. You can cut a body into 6 pieces faster than you think. It’s not much different than boning a chicken, but it takes more work, a big knife, and time. A hammer will be useful for pulverizing joints or driving the knife deep where it doesn’t want to go. Anyway it’s wise to crush as much of the skeleton as you can along the way. It will aid in making the body less identifiable for what it is as it decomposes.

Don’t return to the same site 6 times for 6 burials.You’ll attract suspicion from anyone nearby, and you’ll wind up placing the body parts close enough together to be found by any serious investigation. Put them in plastic bags with lots of bleach, and store in a freezer until you have enough time to bury them all.

Depending on what tools you have available, you may find that you’re get really good at deconstructing the body. You might prefer to slowly sprinkle it down a drain without leaving your house. This avoids the long-term risk of discovery associated with burial, and the overwhelming supply of bacteria in a sewer accellerates deconomposition, whil e providing a convenient cover smell.

Truly grinding down a body takes a lot more work, and you run the risk of fouling your plumbing and calling in a plumber. So don’t try it unless you know how to clear bones and meat out of a drainpipe. A good food processor can be useful. But don’t over-use it, or power drills or saws. They’re noisy and they attract attention. And forget the kitchen sink. It’s better if you actually remove one of the toilets in your house from its base, which will give you direct access to one of the largest sewer pipes that enters your house. Follow any disposals with lots of bleach and then run the water for 5 or 10 minutes on top of that. And plug that pipe when you’re not using it, to prevent any sewer gasses from backing up into your house. Usually, a U-trap inside the toilet does that for you.

Why Not just empty the body of their Blood dump that into the River ?

Cut the Teeth out, and Burn the Body, and then dump it some where

Festy

Just kill them and let somone else clean up the mess.It worked for Pat Bateman.

Look daddy it's an internet whore.

cynder

It takes a mouse 30mins to desolve in acid, would take a human 2. Or more days,

It's either that or blend them up and feed um to the pigs...

Incineration is another option.

Dumped far out at sea another.



Best option dont ever get into a situation where you need to get rid of a body...

Pottler

Richard Kuklinski. That is all.:)

Capt'n Midnight

Put it in a parcel and send it to yourself with UPS.

Chances are you'll ever see it again.

Fratton Fred

Join the RaN forum and ask an expert?

gara

Vinegar -gets rid of everything apparently

Ted_YNWA

The one thing about acid baths that confuses me, is how come the acid doesnt dissolve the bath ??

overanalysing the situation ?

Glico Man

Ted_YNWA wrote: »

The one thing about acid baths that confuses me, is how come the acid doesnt dissolve the bath ??

overanalysing the situation ?

Its made from a certain type of material. Polyethylenene or something like that. Hydrofluoric acid attacks the silicon oxide in most types of glass. It also dissolves many metals (not nickel or its alloys, gold, platinum, or silver), and most plastics. But fluorocarbons (teflon for example) are resistant to hydrofluoric acid.

LoYL

Step 1: go on the net and ask.
Step 2: Oh.

Capt'n Midnight

Lime, bury it covered in lime.

Samich

Human body exhibition, make a few bob on it too.

tdv123

Pulp Fiction.

Marvin clean up job. Now thats how you get rid of a body.

Reamer Fanny

Your a fick suck

Rothko

I don't know but I'm gonna stay away from Galway for a while.

woodoo

Murderer

Capt'n Midnight

tdv123 wrote: »

Pulp Fiction.

Marvin clean up job. Now thats how you get rid of a body.

You need Victor "The Cleaner"

EoghanIRL

Duggy747 wrote: »

Put the body in a wheelie bin, fill with Hydrochloric acid, wait a few days, and then pour your victim down the drain.

Or you could put the body in a barrel, fill with cement, let it dry, and then bury it deep underground.

Or just eat the damn body, plenty of sandwiches out of it.

Wait wouldnt concentrated hcl damage the wheely bin causing a hole to form?

rubadubduba

http://www.cliffsofmoher.ie/

TheBegotten

cynder wrote: »

It takes a mouse 30mins to desolve in acid

How on earth do you know that? Besides, surely the best way is to knock them out with pills, sneak into their house at night and inject air into their arteries? No need to dispose of the body, just hide the puncture mark and leave few/no traces? All off the top of my head now...

Capt'n Midnight

Formaldehyde. Let it soak overnight. Wear gloves.

Glico Man

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Formaldehyde. Let it soak overnight. Wear gloves.

A mixture of sodium hydroxide (lye) with water can be used to liquefy dead animals such as farm animals (with obvious extensions to victims of crime). The carcass is reduced to a brownish sludge, leaving only brittle bones. Lye is used to remove clogs in drains so it could have been poured into a bathtub and rinsed away, plus it is much more readily available than hydrofluoric acid.

But errr, wear a mask.

Capt'n Midnight

aaronh007 wrote: »

A mixture of sodium hydroxide (lye) with water can be used to liquefy dead animals such as farm animals (with obvious extensions to victims of crime). The carcass is reduced to a brownish sludge, leaving only brittle bones. Lye is used to remove clogs in drains so it could have been poured into a bathtub and rinsed away, plus it is much more readily available than hydrofluoric acid.

But errr, wear a mask.

I don't believe you

you're lying

Glico Man

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

I don't believe you

you're lying

Don't wear a mask then

Capt'n Midnight

Buy a couple of trays of beer and have a barbecue.

After a few they won't notice the pork is stringy.

MajorMax

In my opinion the best way to dispose of a body is as follows.

1. Remove the teeth & fingertips.

2. Read the death notices in your local paper, find the details on an upcoming burial.

3. visit the graveyard the night before, dig the hole 3-4 feet deeper.

4.Insert sanitized corpse cover with lime and about 2 foot of soil.

5. Discreetly dispose of teeth and fingertips down various and multiple sewer drains in a large city

biko

Ok, everyone reporting this thread.
The OP was an old copypasta from back in the day that is still posted on various internet forums for some morbid reason. It's even been posted on boards before.