Did I do the right thing?

x_Ellie_x

At around half five this morning I got woken up by a crying noise in the street. At first I thought the noise was a stray cat in heat. I opened my window, planning to scare the cat off, and realised the crying was coming from it was my neighbours toddler wandering around the road. The boy is aged between 1 and 2 and it wasn't the first time this happened. Twice before, once on my way home during the weekend and another time at about 7am in the morning, I previously found him wandering around the road in his pajamas with bare feet.

The child was in his pj's and his feet bare and all cut up and bleeding and he was soaking wet and freezing cold. It was raining at the time but the roads were wet but starting to dry off so I figured the boy must have out wandering around for hours. I took him into my house and wrapped a blanket around him. I was really pissed off at his mother! That's the 3rd time I found him like that. The first time I figured it might have been a once-off accident and took him home, the second time I stupidly gave her the benefit of the doubt because his mother did seem honestly shocked and upset the first time I returned him, but since then, I found out that another neighbour has also found him in the same state on her way to work in the mornings a couple of times. How much common sense does it take to realise if your toddler has a habit of waking up in the middle of the night, is able to reach the front door handle, open it and go walkabouts YOU SHOULD LOCK YOUR DAMN DOOR!!!

Instead of taking him home again I called the Garda this time. I figured this was the best thing to do and I was hoping they'd get social welfare involved. His mother seems really irresponable and I think it might be best if social welfare kept an eye on her. I told the Garda were his mother lived (about 5 or 6 houses down from mine) but I don't think the Garda took him home though. They drove off in the opposite direction. I'm starting to feel guilty now and wondering if I did the right thing now. I don't know if the Garda did eventually take him home. I've been keeping an eye on the house and his mother's car has been gone all day and the house seems empty. I don't know if she got her son back and I'm worried about him - he must be so scared. I didn't want the child to be taken off her, I just thought the Garda bringing him home for once might give her a good scare and make her more responable in future. I feel awful now. Did I do the right thing?

smash

Phone the Gardai for an update. I'd say you did the right thing though. People like that shouldn't be allowed have kids.

brummytom

Of course you did the right thing. You acted in the best interests of the child.

kildare.17hmr

Yes you did the right thing, dont feel guilty for it

JDxtra

Relax, you did the right thing. I would certainly have done the same thing.

You have reduced the risk of him getting run over by a car in your street in the near future.

Tombi!

You're wondering if you did the right thing when the child has been out a 3rd time and this time its feet were cut and it was barefoot?

Yeah, I'd say you did the right thing and a slap to the mother's face wouldn't have been out of order.

Look at it this way: the gardaí probably took it to the hospital because its feet were cut and whatnot, the mother more than likely wouldn't have done it.

At the very least the baby is going to be taken care of better than its mother would have done.

kfallon

She sounds like the kind of person who will be only too delghted to give the poor little kid up

danniemcq

nah you did the right thing, anyone that let this happen again and again doesn't seem to care that much.

Social should def get involved in that one.

Teangalad

Well done OP, that child will thank you for it in the long run....

gerrybbadd

100 per cent the right thing to do. Well done OP

Talib Fiasco

Hmmmm tricky situation. If it was me I'd probably call over to the house with him and explain the situation and maybe *politely* ask whats going on....but it's a little late for that. But in fairness you did the right thing. If it's happened a handful of times something definitely is up and for the sake of the kid you did the proper thing....it's still fairly risky if you get me by calling the Gardai on a mother....I know you probably won't mind much but if the mother finds out it's not gonna be a nice picture I'd imagine...

I wouldn't worry too much, although thats probably hard to do....you've done your best and it was probably the best thing to do...

kirving

Yeah, you were right. Once off - fair enough, but if it's the third time she really isn't looking after him properly.

I once sleepwalked (sleptwalked?!) as a kid and ended up outside my house with the alarm going off. Could hardly blame my parents for that one incident though, and I wasn't a toddler.

mikemac1

Well done OP

Later this week you may be contacted to give a statement

bucketybuck

I'm not the type that runs for government help for everything that happens in our lives, but to be honest, you did do the right thing.

Whats the old saying about foolishness? "Its doing the same again over and over and expecting different results". You gave the mother the benefit of the doubt twice now and nothing changed. Just returning the child again and again will eventually end up in something serious happening to that poor child.

Hopefully this will be a wakeup call for the mother. I doubt it though. What sort of mother needs to be told these types of things?

Gillo

He gardai must have felt there was sufficient risk to the child to warrant bringing him or her back to the station. While from the child's point of view getting taken away by strange men and not brought back to mammy is a scary thing, what you did was the right thing.

Some people really shouldn't be parents.

donalg1

Yes you definitely did the right thing so dont be worrying about it, In fairness you would probably have spent more time worrying about the child had you brought him home instead of phoning the Guards.

The mother of this child obviously doesnt worry about him so phoning the Guards was the best thing you could do.

Tombi!

bucketybuck wrote: »

"Its doing the same again over and over and expecting different results".

Einstein said it: Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results

Sorry for the off topic

Plazaman

This is the third time you found him, another couple of times that your neighbour found him and God knows who else may have found him another few times. Luckily the poor wee fella wasn't hit by a car or taken by a stranger or wandered into a river.

You done the right thing OP, his mother has no business even trying to defend her actions if she's happy to let him wander barefoot at all hours of the morning in the cold and wet.

BigEejit

You likely saved his life... think about it, rain, dark, just imagine someone driving home after a late shift at work and child runs out into road from between cars.

The mother is not fit to look after a child.

BigEejit

BigEejit wrote: »

You likely saved his life...

This sums it up really.

OP you absolutely did the right thing. A child was in danger for the third time (that you know of) because of his mothers actions, putting him straight back into danger would have been much much worse.

Someone mentioned he was probably brought to the hospital and that is ilkely to be the case. Don't beat yourself up, your decision was the right one.

scdublin

100% did the right thing! Check in with the gards if you can, I'm sure they could give you some kind of update....poor little thing

Beruthiel

x_Ellie_x wrote: »

I feel awful now. Did I do the right thing?

I don't understand why you feel awful. Potentially, you have saved that child's life.
Consider the amount of different things that could have happened to him while he was out wandering in the dark by himself.
If it had only happened once, that would be understandable. But, any responsible parent would have made sure that it didn't happen again by locking the door properly. How difficult is that to do?

The fact that she has allowed this to go on means that she is not all that concerned for her child. That is very troubling and in the long run, detrimental to the child.
For the childs sake, I truly hope SW gets properly involved.

x_Ellie_x

Thanks for your replies. I'm starting to feel some relief about what I did. I think you're right about the Garda taking him to the hosital instead of home, now that I think about it some of the cuts looked a little deep and he could have had stones in stuck in them.


Do you think the Garda would have given his mother my name when she asked what called the garda on her? His mother is a bit of a skanger and I'm worried she might throw a brick through my window or worst. I didn't think to ask the Garda that this morning because I was still half asleep and I wasn't think right.

Leftist

x_Ellie_x wrote: »

At around half five this morning I got woken up by a crying noise in the street. At first I thought the noise was a stray cat in heat. I opened my window, planning to scare the cat off, and realised the crying was coming from it was my neighbours toddler wandering around the road. The boy is aged between 1 and 2 and it wasn't the first time this happened. Twice before, once on my way home during the weekend and another time at about 7am in the morning, I previously found him wandering around the road in his pajamas with bare feet.

The child was in his pj's and his feet bare and all cut up and bleeding and he was soaking wet and freezing cold. It was raining at the time but the roads were wet but starting to dry off so I figured the boy must have out wandering around for hours. I took him into my house and wrapped a blanket around him. I was really pissed off at his mother! That's the 3rd time I found him like that. The first time I figured it might have been a once-off accident and took him home, the second time I stupidly gave her the benefit of the doubt because his mother did seem honestly shocked and upset the first time I returned him, but since then, I found out that another neighbour has also found him in the same state on her way to work in the mornings a couple of times. How much common sense does it take to realise if your toddler has a habit of waking up in the middle of the night, is able to reach the front door handle, open it and go walkabouts YOU SHOULD LOCK YOUR DAMN DOOR!!!

Instead of taking him home again I called the Garda this time. I figured this was the best thing to do and I was hoping they'd get social welfare involved. His mother seems really irresponable and I think it might be best if social welfare kept an eye on her. I told the Garda were his mother lived (about 5 or 6 houses down from mine) but I don't think the Garda took him home though. They drove off in the opposite direction. I'm starting to feel guilty now and wondering if I did the right thing now. I don't know if the Garda did eventually take him home. I've been keeping an eye on the house and his mother's car has been gone all day and the house seems empty. I don't know if she got her son back and I'm worried about him - he must be so scared. I didn't want the child to be taken off her, I just thought the Garda bringing him home for once might give her a good scare and make her more responable in future. I feel awful now. Did I do the right thing?

wow, really nice job, the family have problems with his sleep walking and you try to have him taken from his parents.

How dare you stick your nose into other people\s business like that. For the sake of some moral arrogance, HOW DARE YOU.

davet82

imagine you didnt call the guards and he was hit by a car tonight and died after wandering around by himself again, how guilty would you feel then?


You did him and his mother a favour, hopefully social services get to the bottom of her 'lax' parenting style and sort her out


Well done OP

tricky D

Leftist wrote: »

wow, really nice job, the family have problems with his sleep walking and you try to have him taken from his parents.

How dare you stick your nose into other people\s business like that. For the sake of some moral arrogance, HOW DARE YOU.

Nope, the OP exercised social responsibility and the parent in question neglected their parental responsibility, yet again.

westies4ever

Leftist wrote: »

wow, really nice job, the family have problems with his sleep walking and you try to have him taken from his parents.

How dare you stick your nose into other people\s business like that. For the sake of some moral arrogance, HOW DARE YOU.

How many times do you suggest the OP returns the child to his family after finding him in such a state? 5? 10?

Maybe next time the wrong person would've picked him up or he could have been knocked down.

I dont think OP was 'sticking their nose' in at all.

Sarah**

Leftist wrote: »

wow, really nice job, the family have problems with his sleep walking and you try to have him taken from his parents.

How dare you stick your nose into other people\s business like that. For the sake of some moral arrogance, HOW DARE YOU.

That's a bit harsh - OP has returned the child on two previous occasions and has given the parents the "heads up" that the child has managed to get out in the middle of the night on two occasions and they haven't made any attempt to resolve the situation.

OP - Seriously you did the right thing, where there is a child concerned you can never be too careful. The child would have needed medical attention regardless with his/her feet so you were right.

Tom Joad

Leftist wrote: »

wow, really nice job, the family have problems with his sleep walking and you try to have him taken from his parents.

How dare you stick your nose into other people\s business like that. For the sake of some moral arrogance, HOW DARE YOU.

Do you have a kid around that age?? I do and it doesn't bear thinking about what could have happened to the kid - they haven;t a clue at that age and its the third time. The OP deserves a medal imho - she saved a life - no drama no bull - straight up.

I admire people with strong opinions generally - but really you would sarcafice the life of a toddler for your views - thank **** I don't live beside you!!

ibarelycare

x_Ellie_x wrote: »

Thanks for your replies. I'm starting to feel some relief about what I did. I think you're right about the Garda taking him to the hosital instead of home, now that I think about it some of the cuts looked a little deep and he could have had stones in stuck in them.


Do you think the Garda would have given his mother my name when she asked what called the garda on her? His mother is a bit of a skanger and I'm worried she might throw a brick through my window or worst. I didn't think to ask the Garda that this morning because I was still half asleep and I wasn't think right.

I doubt the Garda would have given your name, but if you're concerned why don't you just give them a call and ask them? You can check up on the little boy as well

Tombi!

Leftist wrote: »

wow, really nice job, the family have problems with his sleep walking and you try to have him taken from his parents.

How dare you stick your nose into other people\s business like that. For the sake of some moral arrogance, HOW DARE YOU.

Considering the child was found at least five times (three by the OP and twice at least by a neighbour), she was doing the right thing.

Besides, when someone is helpless and is clearly suffering it becomes the business of people to help them, regardless of if it's a child or not.

And unless this is some kind of super baby, I'd wager it didn't happen to unlock the door all at 2 years old.

scdublin

x_Ellie_x wrote: »

Thanks for your replies. I'm starting to feel some relief about what I did. I think you're right about the Garda taking him to the hosital instead of home, now that I think about it some of the cuts looked a little deep and he could have had stones in stuck in them.


Do you think the Garda would have given his mother my name when she asked what called the garda on her? His mother is a bit of a skanger and I'm worried she might throw a brick through my window or worst. I didn't think to ask the Garda that this morning because I was still half asleep and I wasn't think right.

I would really hope that the gards wouldn't even think of giving out your name unless you'd specifically said that it was okay. Give them a ring now, ask for info on the poor kid, if he's still in hospital or back with the mother....and make it clear that you don't want her to know who called them.

celtictiger32

yes you did the right thing, once can happen to anybody twice maybe a little careless but several times as you mentioned is downright reckless and irresponsible. i have kids myself and dont get me wrong my youngest is like houdini (if anybody needs a locksmith, resonable rates:D), but if he was regularly walking the streets unnaccompanied i would expect nothing less. childrens welfare is the most important thing.

Plazaman

Leftist wrote: »

wow, really nice job, the family have problems with his sleep walking and you try to have him taken from his parents.

How dare you stick your nose into other people\s business like that. For the sake of some moral arrogance, HOW VERY DARE YOU.

FYP, your outrage lacked continuity and should escalate towards the end of statements not dissapate. "Double Dare You" would also have been acceptable

scdublin

Leftist wrote: »

wow, really nice job, the family have problems with his sleep walking and you try to have him taken from his parents.

How dare you stick your nose into other people\s business like that. For the sake of some moral arrogance, HOW DARE YOU.

Obviously only posted to get a reaction out of people.

mikemac1

A few falling for Leftist trolling I see

If the OP saved 100 lives this morning Leftist would still be here stirring up a reaction

Tombi!

Leftist wrote: »

ratting you out to the guards.

Well that explains everything and why I'm not bothering entertaining you.

Beruthiel

x_Ellie_x wrote: »

Do you think the Garda would have given his mother my name when she asked what called the garda on her?

Ring them and ask to have your name remain confidential.

ART6

Of course you did the right thing. You did the only thing any caring human being could possibly do. It's very possible that you actually saved that child's life and you have nothing to feel guilty about. If it had happened once and you had returned the child to it's mother and seen her (apparent) concern then maybe you would have dismissed it as an isolated issue that parents sometimes do face through a genuine mistake or inexperience. This was not, by the sounds of it, such a case, and it is why we have Gardai and social services. Well done!

Jason Todd

To be honest OP, you absolutely did the right thing. Here's why: myself and my girlfriend rented a house next door to an awful woman. She had a 4 year old boy who looked about 2 due to lack of nourishment. My girlfriend often gave him stuff to eat and if all the kids were going to the shop she'd give him a few pence to get jellies so he wouldn't feel left out. We knew she wasn't looking after him properly and often talked about calling social services but didn't feel it was our place to do anything.

Anyway, her bin service was cut off and she left her rubbish pile up in the back garden and the place was a tip. The birds, rats and flies were terrible, so we called the City Council. They came and warned her that she had 2 weeks to clean up or she'd be fined. Around this time we noticed what seemed to be social services calling up too. Good we thought, this might give her the kick up the arse she needs. After a male relation of hers (who was the only one who visited regularly)came and helped clean the place, she got a dog. Needless to say the dog sh!t everywhere and she never cleaned it up. She was warned again. The dog got knocked down one day and my girlfriend helped take the dog off the road but it died. My girlfriend then saw the house first-hand and said it was filthy. The dog was buried in the back garden :eek: Not long afterwards she got another dog and it too **** all over the place. Another time she came in and told us she needed a lift to the hospital, her son had the flu but had taken a turn. It looked like pneumonia. We often saw him in the back garden in the nip first thing in the morning and he had to be brought home by another neighbour who found him on the main road in his pj's early in the morning. We never called social services because we assumed the relevant people knew how bad the situation was. We moved away from the area over a year ago and only 2 weeks ago we found out that he has been taken away from her for good. It has also emerged he was suffering sexual abuse by his mothers 'male relation'. Awful, awful stuff, and my girlfriend is devastated she never acted on her gut feeling. You did the right thing OP. You have prevented things getting any worse hopefully.

( Sorry for the long post )

minidazzler

If the mother doesn't claim him in a year you own him.

Also, you did the right thing. I think they may have driven him to the station so that they can say a Neighbour instead of giving your name.

scdublin

Jason Todd wrote: »

To be honest OP, you absolutely did the right thing. Here's why: myself and my girlfriend rented a house next door to an awful woman. She had a 4 year old boy who looked about 2 due to lack of nourishment. My girlfriend often gave him stuff to eat and if all the kids were going to the shop she'd give him a few pence to get jellies so he wouldn't feel left out. We knew she wasn't looking after him properly and often talked about calling social services but didn't feel it was our place to do anything.

Anyway, her bin service was cut off and she left her rubbish pile up in the back garden and the place was a tip. The birds, rats and flies were terrible, so we called the City Council. They came and warned her that she had 2 weeks to clean up or she'd be fined. Around this time we noticed what seemed to be social services calling up too. Good we thought, this might give her the kick up the arse she needs. After a male relation of hers (who was the only one who visited regularly)came and helped clean the place, she got a dog. Needless to say the dog sh!t everywhere and she never cleaned it up. She was warned again. The dog got knocked down one day and my girlfriend helped take the dog off the road but it died. My girlfriend then saw the house first-hand and said it was filthy. The dog was buried in the back garden :eek: Not long afterwards she got another dog and it too **** all over the place. Another time she came in and told us she needed a lift to the hospital, her son had the flu but had taken a turn. It looked like pneumonia. We often saw him in the back garden in the nip first thing in the morning and he had to be brought home by another neighbour who found him on the main road in his pj's early in the morning. We never called social services because we assumed the relevant people knew how bad the situation was. We moved away from the area over a year ago and only 2 weeks ago we found out that he has been taken away from her for good. It has also emerged he was suffering sexual abuse by his mothers 'male relation'. Awful, awful stuff, and my girlfriend is devastated she never acted on her gut feeling. You did the right thing OP. You have prevented things getting any worse hopefully.

( Sorry for the long post )

Jesus that's awful at least now he's away from it....but definitely makes you think about what actions you should take when you've seen enough

mauzo

x_Ellie_x wrote: »

At around half five this morning I got woken up by a crying noise in the street. At first I thought the noise was a stray cat in heat. I opened my window, planning to scare the cat off, and realised the crying was coming from it was my neighbours toddler wandering around the road. The boy is aged between 1 and 2 and it wasn't the first time this happened. Twice before, once on my way home during the weekend and another time at about 7am in the morning, I previously found him wandering around the road in his pajamas with bare feet.

The child was in his pj's and his feet bare and all cut up and bleeding and he was soaking wet and freezing cold. It was raining at the time but the roads were wet but starting to dry off so I figured the boy must have out wandering around for hours. I took him into my house and wrapped a blanket around him. I was really pissed off at his mother! That's the 3rd time I found him like that. The first time I figured it might have been a once-off accident and took him home, the second time I stupidly gave her the benefit of the doubt because his mother did seem honestly shocked and upset the first time I returned him, but since then, I found out that another neighbour has also found him in the same state on her way to work in the mornings a couple of times. How much common sense does it take to realise if your toddler has a habit of waking up in the middle of the night, is able to reach the front door handle, open it and go walkabouts YOU SHOULD LOCK YOUR DAMN DOOR!!!

Instead of taking him home again I called the Garda this time. I figured this was the best thing to do and I was hoping they'd get social welfare involved. His mother seems really irresponable and I think it might be best if social welfare kept an eye on her. I told the Garda were his mother lived (about 5 or 6 houses down from mine) but I don't think the Garda took him home though. They drove off in the opposite direction. I'm starting to feel guilty now and wondering if I did the right thing now. I don't know if the Garda did eventually take him home. I've been keeping an eye on the house and his mother's car has been gone all day and the house seems empty. I don't know if she got her son back and I'm worried about him - he must be so scared. I didn't want the child to be taken off her, I just thought the Garda bringing him home for once might give her a good scare and make her more responable in future. I feel awful now. Did I do the right thing?

This is the weirdest ting ever. I was only telling another poster last week the exact same thing!!!!!!!!!
I opened my door and heard a child screaming for its mammy at the top of its lungs one night at 2.30am. I ran out in the lashing rain for nearly an hour looking or the child, but when i got out there the screaming had stopped.!!
Where do you live??

uch

smash wrote: »

Phone the Gardai for an update. I'd say you did the right thing though. People like that shouldn't be allowed have kids.

Agreed, in fact Gobshítes like that shouldn't even be allowed have Pets

x_Ellie_x

Leftist wrote: »

wow, really nice job, the family have problems with his sleep walking and you try to have him taken from his parents.

How dare you stick your nose into other people\s business like that. For the sake of some moral arrogance, HOW DARE YOU.

The boy wasn't sleepwalking - he was wide awake all three times I found him. And even if he does sleepwalk he wouldn't have gotten out of the house at all if she'd LOCK the bleeding door during the night! The boy is tiny, he only reaches the height of my knee and I'm not that tall either - I'm only 5'1. That baby wouldn't have the strength to turn the key in the lock to open the door. God, he doesn't even know his mother's name or address. I had a hard time finding out where he lived the first time I found him -- It was 2am in the morning then and if another neighbour hadn't gotten out of a taxi while I was walking around with him and recognised him & knew where he lived, I probably would have had to call the garda that first time too!

ziggy23

You definitely did the right thing OP that mother is a disgrace.

MagicMarker

You absolutely did the right thing OP, your neighbour appears to be under the impression that she gave birth to a cat, and not a child.

dr.bollocko

mod:

LEFTIST

Post again in this thread = Get banned.

PM for clarification.

dr.bollocko

Please ignore the troll folks.

Please report any posts which cross the line and let's move on with the discussion.

Tombi!

OP is there any chance you could ring the gardaí and ask what happened?

ziggy23

All this talk of toddlers being out on the street at 2.30am is freaking me out. I have a nearly 3 year old little boy and I have gates on both ends of the stairs so he cant even get down them. Also the door is locked and key hidden. If my son was found wandering around at night I'd expect Social Services to be called right away.